My wife is traveling here, and a warning to all of the estrogen challenged.

[rostov007 29]

I wanted to let my VJ friends know that Anh is on her way here as we speak. She just sent me an email from Taipei during her layover. I'm very excited, I've already done all of my bachelor preparations, the florist is on standby, and we have a lovely weekend in Seattle planned.

I'm posting this not only to share my joy, but also to post something of a warning as well. This may seem obvious, I certainly knew it already, but no matter how excited your wife or fiance is to be with you, the fact remains that she is leaving her country, her family, and her friends to come to a foreign country for the rest of her life. Last night I called her on the phone just as she was boarding the plane in HCMC, and she was crying. I know my wife's voices, and this was the sorrow of loss tone that I learned so well during her Mom's funeral in HCMC. Never forget the courage it takes to get on that plane, regardless of the depth of love she feels for you.

The tone of the email from Taipei was distinctly more positive, like she had mourned and now remembered why she went through the earlier pain. I love her for both of these abilities, she is amazing.

Oh, one thing I just found out is I will have a business trip to New York City in October so very quickly after her arrival, she will get to take photos with the Statue of Liberty. How cool is that?

Best of luck on all of your journeys,

Edited September 30, 2011 by rostov007

[Saker 6]

Great post Rostov.

Looks like you have thought a lot about things. Sounds like your partner is going to be well catered for on her arrival.

You mention she is giving up a lot, but she is also gaining a lot and is most definately not alone.

Have a great time!

[Barbara J 115]

I wanted to let my VJ friends know that Anh is on her way here as we speak. She just sent me an email from Taipei during her layover. I'm very excited, I've already done all of my bachelor preparations, the florist is on standby, and we have a lovely weekend in Seattle planned.

I'm posting this not only to share my joy, but also to post something of a warning as well. This may seem obvious, I certainly knew it already, but no matter how excited your wife or fiance is to be with you, the fact remains that she is leaving her country, her family, and her friends to come to a foreign country for the rest of her life. Last night I called her on the phone just as she was boarding the plane in HCMC, and she was crying. I know my wife's voices, and this was the sorrow of loss tone that I learned so well during her Mom's funeral in HCMC. Never forget the courage it takes to get on that plane, regardless of the depth of love she feels for you.

The tone of the email from Taipei was distinctly more positive, like she had mourned and now remembered why she went through the earlier pain. I love her for both of these abilities, she is amazing.

Oh, one thing I just found out is I will have a business trip to New York City in October so very quickly after her arrival, she will get to take photos with the Statue of Liberty. How cool is that?

Best of luck on all of your journeys,

That is so very true some spouses forget that we have left our whole life behind to be with the man of our dreams and to live in the USA. Some days I just want to go home and I know exactly how she felt leaving as I did the same saying goodbye to my daughters the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I don't regret coming here but sometimes would like a little more understanding when there are certain issues that crop up. I hope you have a wonderful life together and good luck.

[Laure&Colin 560]

I wanted to let my VJ friends know that Anh is on her way here as we speak. She just sent me an email from Taipei during her layover. I'm very excited, I've already done all of my bachelor preparations, the florist is on standby, and we have a lovely weekend in Seattle planned.

I'm posting this not only to share my joy, but also to post something of a warning as well. This may seem obvious, I certainly knew it already, but no matter how excited your wife or fiance is to be with you, the fact remains that she is leaving her country, her family, and her friends to come to a foreign country for the rest of her life. Last night I called her on the phone just as she was boarding the plane in HCMC, and she was crying. I know my wife's voices, and this was the sorrow of loss tone that I learned so well during her Mom's funeral in HCMC. Never forget the courage it takes to get on that plane, regardless of the depth of love she feels for you.

The tone of the email from Taipei was distinctly more positive, like she had mourned and now remembered why she went through the earlier pain. I love her for both of these abilities, she is amazing.

Oh, one thing I just found out is I will have a business trip to New York City in October so very quickly after her arrival, she will get to take photos with the Statue of Liberty. How cool is that?

Best of luck on all of your journeys,

Beautiful post! I'm sure you will both have a beautiful time when she arrives.

What you're saying is very true, despite the excitement and relief caused by the end of the wait for the whole process to be cleared, it's not easy to start a new life in a new country. Especially for people who come from places where social life and habits are very different from the western world, it can be a great culture shock. And leaving family behind, who might never even have a chance to visit for a short vacation, is also heartbreaking !

[Carmi 4]

THANK YOU SO MUCH for this beautiful post!! It's a great reminder of all the sacrifices that our significant others have to go through in order to be with us.. the best of luck for both of you!!

[cnkf 0]

Wonderful post, congratulations to you both!

Your Anh is very lucky !

It's awesome that you can view things from her perspective too..

Best wishes to you both!

[Princessblack 21]

Moving to any country is always a BIG DEAL and sometimes we as spouses miss that.

I BAWLED when I left Jamaica many moons ago. In fact, I did want to come here. But when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. I made the best of what was given.

Now, I am also expecting my husband and kids to give up life as usual in sunny Jamaica for snow. It is heartfelt but love conquors all.

[jkelly07 120]

a nice post, i wish you both all the best.she will love to see and play in the snow.

[Tiff 0]

Thank you rostov007 for sharing your thought. My husband has his visa letter approval and now waiting for actual visa. He will be leaving VN in the next two weeks if as planned...Your post has remind me to be in his shoes once his arrived to USA. I am sure Anh will be okay because she has a great man like you by her side. :-)

[rostov007 29]

Sorry to everyone for not replying back sooner. Thank you so much for your replies, I'm glad you found it meaningful. My ability to see this from her perspective was some sense of empathy derived from living in Vietnam for a year myself. I remember the fish out of water feeling, the "spend most of my time listening and trying to catch up" feeling, the hunger to hear and speak native English and be understood.

Anh is fluent in English so that will help her avoid some of those feelings, but not all of them. So I have done some minor things to make her environment a little more friendly. I stocked up on Cam Ly and Minh Tuyet, Paris by Night and Asia DVDs, we are making an ancestor altar for her to tend to, and I'm trying to find access to the San Francisco VN television/radio stations online. (If you know where, please reply, would be great to hear from some of you who have walked this path before.

Anyway, I feel this post sliding into being moved to another forum. I'll post a POE review and update the timeline a little later.

Cheers everyone,