broken heart

[Visa4habibi! 0]

Sometimes this journey defeats and conquers and destroys the hope and faith for people truly in-love Sad Lost and heartbroken for those of you who have the strength to keep going fight with everything you got never give up never give up God Bless!!!

Well, i just had a lovely chat with my husband (not)! It was a 2-hour chat in 3 months! And all he did was fight and blame me for this stinking process not working! He has to come from far away to chat with me and it cost good money, so he's skipping that too.

Now i'm so READY TO GIVE UP! I was hoping for a good nice chat, but got blamed instead! Who needs that?

I give up! And he wants HIS MONEY back!

What about me getting in debt to go visit him?

I can't take this anymore!

I've been 'almost there' since September last year! And still nothing!

Whatever happens - happens! I'm not lifting a finger anymore!!!

I'm done!

Tanya

money for what?

I'm sorry Tanya...I hope this is just that ldr-stress that we all go thru from time to time

He paid her?

i was wondering who'd notice that

Oh man, you guys can be so mean! I don't know Tanya's story, but it sounds like she is really hurting here. Lighten up a bit and save the witty comments for a less emotional post. Usually you guys make me laugh, but this was not the right time.

Yeah, he wants his money back! The money he had to spent when we were getting married (legally, no wedding ceremony)! Cause i didn't bring enough with me.

That's all he wants! For all the money i've spent i couldn have gotten another used car when i had a car accident, but he doesn't care. I'm in debt for He wants his money back! Now I had to get another car and oh man! it sucks so much - the money i have to pay every freaking month!

Edited September 24, 2006 by firelion65

[jordanianprincess 0]

Sometimes this journey defeats and conquers and destroys the hope and faith for people truly in-love Sad Lost and heartbroken for those of you who have the strength to keep going fight with everything you got never give up never give up God Bless!!!

Well, i just had a lovely chat with my husband (not)! It was a 2-hour chat in 3 months! And all he did was fight and blame me for this stinking process not working! He has to come from far away to chat with me and it cost good money, so he's skipping that too.

Now i'm so READY TO GIVE UP! I was hoping for a good nice chat, but got blamed instead! Who needs that?

I give up! And he wants HIS MONEY back!

What about me getting in debt to go visit him?

I can't take this anymore!

I've been 'almost there' since September last year! And still nothing!

Whatever happens - happens! I'm not lifting a finger anymore!!!

I'm done!

Tanya

money for what?

I'm sorry Tanya...I hope this is just that ldr-stress that we all go thru from time to time

He paid her?

i was wondering who'd notice that

Oh man, you guys can be so mean! I don't know Tanya's story, but it sounds like she is really hurting here. Lighten up a bit and save the witty comments for a less emotional post. Usually you guys make me laugh, but this was not the right time.

Yeah, he wants his money back! The money he had to spent when we were getting married (legally, no wedding ceremony)! Cause i didn't bring enough with me.

That's all he wants! For all the money i've spent i couldn have gotten another used car when i had a car accident, but he doesn't care. I'm in debt for He wants his money back! Now I had to get another car and oh man! it sucks so much - the money i have to pay every freaking month!

Do you have 2 ID's? Are you also the Original Poster?

[Visa4habibi! 0]

Well Tanya offered that information about her and her husband and told us what happened. Also, I don't get the "It was a 2 hour chat in 3 months" part. Does that mean it was their first chat in 3 months? WOW!

Yes, Sarah. It was 1st chat in 3 months and yes, I excpected it to be much better!

[StupidJourney 0]

I just wanted to reply to Firelion. This process is stressful for everyone, especially for your man, who probably feels a little useless and impotent in his position right now. I've gotten blamed for the process taking long too, and the 3 hour chats that are sometimes tortuous because you feel like you're constantly being attacked. But you'll get through it, I promise you, and your relationship will be stronger because of it. I know that's hard to believe, but believe me, we've been where you are right now, and lhmdullah, have gotten past it. All I can say is that even if you're fighting, keep talking, keep trying to work it out. I talk to my fiance for at least two hours each day, sometimes more (like 6 hours on some weekends) sometimes less (like 30 minutes). but just keep trying to work it out, no matter how painful it is. Try to stay in closer contact with him, and hopefully that will help. I buy my phonecards from noblecom.com; they're not too expensive. I wish you much luck as you get through this process!

Edited September 24, 2006 by sonicliz

[Visa4habibi! 0]

Do you have 2 ID's? Are you also the Original Poster?

I am the original poster, firelion65 if that's your question. And i have 1 ID. I didn't feel like reading anything before, but i came back this evening and it's just mind blowing. Now i know why some people stopped posting. But then again, i got some very nice responses too.

And if somebody didn't like me not being too clear - try being in my shoes for just a tiny moment. I wouldn't recommend it, but clarity is not one of the things you'd worry about.

Edited September 24, 2006 by firelion65

[jordanianprincess 0]

Do you have 2 ID's? Are you also the Original Poster?

I am the original poster, firelion65 if that's your question. And i have 1 ID. I didn't feel like reading anything before, but i came back this evening and it's just mind blowing. Now i know why some people stopped posting. But then again, i got some very nice responses too.

And if somebody didn't like me not being too clear - try being in my shoes for just a tiny moment. I wouldn't recommend it, but clarity is not one of the things you'd worry about.

I have no issues with your post, I was just confused because the OP's Id says hichamslove.

[limah 1]

Who is Mother Goose?

Firelion, I see what you mean now, when you said he wants his money back. I was wondering about that. What in the world???? Does he know that his dirhams are just as imprtant in the process as your dollaz? Tell him hez SOL cuz you cant get yours back. No, but seriously, I think you both will be fine. The "miss you" factor is a really big issue 4 yall, I think. You aren't still giving up are you? Look at sonicliz, they are fine. I know everybodyz story is different, and I know it's been a long time for you and the whole process, but you've already invested sooooo much, isn't it worth it to have a life together? Just try... not for me of course. For you, and for him, and your future....

Hichamslove?????? Where you been girl? Im sorry I missed you online the other day. How are YOU Mrs. Lady? Holdin on? You better be! You are gonna look back and its gonna be over! Dont get discouraged. You're gonna be fine to.

Oh yeah, I said 30 minutes is better than none, cuz its beter than none. Somebody may only be able to afford a $3 card from time to time, you know? Everybodyz finances are not the same. I know im perpetrating right now!!!! Robbing peter to pay paul. OOPS, actually.... Its pauls turn to get jacked this week! We are the blessed onez cuz we talk to our husbands various times thru out the week and I know its not cheap, I have vonage too, and its 24 cents a min to call Sale, and 34 min to call his cell. I like vinage too cuz they cut your international calls off when the bill gets to $75, hey... I love it... comcast is $1200, and they just let me get comfortable and talk as long as I wanted.... so, you know thats exactly what I did.

For the ones who displayed dispair in this particular post.... We are doing this for a chance to be happy, right?

Sad + waiting + lonely + crying + your lifes savingz = HAPPY........ Eventually!

I was just kidding about the life savings part. I didnt have any to begin with! LOL!

But I was serious about robbing Paul, he lives on the 2nd floor!! HAAAAAAAAA!

Smile Ladies, IT'S RAMADAN!

[chiquita 0]

Limah,

You are such a sweetie to try and encourage others. I especially liked this>>>>

Sad + waiting + lonely + crying + your lifes savingz = HAPPY........ Eventually!

Firelion,

Been there dear, know exactly what you are going through. We were denied a K 3 visa March 05 'due to the validity of our relatiosnhip" IE...I am older than my husband. We fought it and my husband arrived here August 20, 2006.

You can either let the immigration process destroy your relationship or make it stronger. Of course if your husband plain out wants to give up there isn't much you can do. Only you 2 can decide if you will keep your marriage going.

If he is just temporally down then do what you can to cheer him. We had to do this with each other daily. We never went a day without chatting or at least leaving a message for each other on line. You mentioned it has been 3 months since you were on line together! Do you then talk on the phone? Keeping in touch is so very important during this immigration nightmare.

Some people do have a very bad habit of placing blame on those they love. Is this his MO?

These are a lot of questions you may be having to deal with and it is not easy. If you both love each other then you need to support each other. Let him know how you feel. Let him know he is hurting you. Tell him how you sacfrificed to come to be with him. If you both want to continue then keep working together. There will be days when you think you can't go on, but try to believe you will. If you have to give more than he does all the time, perhaps this is another issue to work on. There should be days where he supports you too.

You have been given some good advice and support and some ####### too. Ignore the ####### and use the advice to your advantage to save your marriage if that is what you both want. There will always be people here on VJ and in your other groups who will listen when you need an ear. I am one of them.

Hang in there!

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{MANY HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

chi

[StupidJourney 0]

Limah,

You are such a sweetie to try and encourage others. I especially liked this>>>>

Sad + waiting + lonely + crying + your lifes savingz = HAPPY........ Eventually!

Firelion,

Been there dear, know exactly what you are going through. We were denied a K 3 visa March 05 'due to the validity of our relatiosnhip" IE...I am older than my husband. We fought it and my husband arrived here August 20, 2006.

You can either let the immigration process destroy your relationship or make it stronger. Of course if your husband plain out wants to give up there isn't much you can do. Only you 2 can decide if you will keep your marriage going.

If he is just temporally down then do what you can to cheer him. We had to do this with each other daily. We never went a day without chatting or at least leaving a message for each other on line. You mentioned it has been 3 months since you were on line together! Do you then talk on the phone? Keeping in touch is so very important during this immigration nightmare.

Some people do have a very bad habit of placing blame on those they love. Is this his MO?

These are a lot of questions you may be having to deal with and it is not easy. If you both love each other then you need to support each other. Let him know how you feel. Let him know he is hurting you. Tell him how you sacfrificed to come to be with him. If you both want to continue then keep working together. There will be days when you think you can't go on, but try to believe you will. If you have to give more than he does all the time, perhaps this is another issue to work on. There should be days where he supports you too.

You have been given some good advice and support and some ####### too. Ignore the ####### and use the advice to your advantage to save your marriage if that is what you both want. There will always be people here on VJ and in your other groups who will listen when you need an ear. I am one of them.

Hang in there!

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{MANY HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

chi

chi:

How much older are you than your SO? Is it a huge difference? I'm just curious, because I am older than my fiance, but only by a few years. I see that happen a lot: somewhat older American woman, and younger Moroccan guys. They seem more mature, in my opinion! Anyway, let me know, so I don't have yet another thing to worry about!

[chiquita 0]

sonicliz,

Being just a few years in older should not matter at all.

Also I believe the CO made an error in our case. I am just guessing it was due to our age. I think the real reason is because the CO was having a difficult day and instead of asking for "proof" IE pics and so on he said he "needed more info" to my husband who had no clue what he was referring to. Husband had all of our "proof" in his breifcase so I am sure the CO thought he was another loser just trying to get a greencard without being able to prove it. At our last interview the CO apologized profusely or what happened to us.

Go figure!!!! Whatever, he is here now!

chi