I think we screwed up...

[xocanin 0]

Hi guys,

We got married on the 19th at the local county courthouse, in jeans and sneakers and t-shirts, and only his mother was present. The reason for that was that we are just not able to have a "real wedding" right now, because we are extremely broke -- we literally had to borrow money for the license and marriage fee, that's how bad things are -- and since we're not religious, it didn't feel like a big deal to us to just have it done this way now and just worry about an actual ceremony when and if we can afford it. Things are just... really bad here and I need to be able to start working ASAP so we kind of rushed it for that reason too.

Of course we look extremely happy and in love on the photos, but I just realized that the way we were dressed and the fact that we didn't have a party (we went to a fancy restaurant with my MIL afterwards to celebrate, but there were no other guests) might make people think that we didn't care about our wedding or something. Am I wrong to assume that we may have accidentally created a red flag for my AOS by not dressing up and having a "proper" wedding? If so, what can we do to fix this problem? We don't have plans for a ceremony anytime soon, for obvious reasons.

I came here on a K1 and we have not yet started the AOS because we're now very concerned about this.

Also, I have a couple more questions:

1. I've decided to take his last name, but I don't have any documents with my new name yet. Will I receive anything before the AOS interview that has my new name on it, which I can use to change my name on our joint account? I understand that having a joint account is good evidence and we do have one, but I've got my maiden name on it since I didn't have photo ID with my legal name when we opened it.

2. We are (as I mentioned above) fairly poor at the moment. My husband is permanently disabled (we have a co-sponsor, that's why I had no problem getting the visa) and I can't work yet. We don't drive, so we don't have a car (or car insurance), and we rent, so we have no property or anything else that might have both of our names on it. I want to include my name on the lease for the apartment, but they refuse to do it because I don't have a SSN yet and as far as I understand it, I cannot get one yet. My question is, what can we bring as evidence in a situation like this? The only thing that has both of our names on it is the bank account, and I can't change my maiden name on it until I have some sort of photo ID that has my new name on it...

Sorry if this is all very complicated. I'm just really clueless and we don't know what to do. Oh, I'm in Texas. Not sure if that's relevant or not.

[lesleysizeland 0]

I would say if your that worried about pictures go back to the courthouse dressed up and take some pictures, they will never know its not on the day but the main thing you need to show is your married!! You have your marriage certificate right?

As for the lease, if they cannot add you to the lease can they at least write a letter to say that you both live at xyz and that they have been unable to add you to the lease because you do not have a SSN. The only evidence i had was my lease and my joint bank account. We did have a bigger wedding so we brought the pictures, wedding cards etc but honestly she only looked through all of the pictures cause she was nosey!

Again, as soon as you apply for AOS apply for your work visa and when that comes through go straight to the SS Office and get your SSN. You never know, you may get it before you get your interview but remember, they know we face all these hurdles so i would not stress as much.

[Robert&Karen 264]

Did you apply for a social security card after you were here for ten days? That would be your first American ID. I see you do not have a timeline so it is hard to say.

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

It would be highly unusual for a couple that entered on a K-1 and got married within the 90-day time frame to get denied. You certainly won't be denied for any of the reasons you mentioned. You got married in a courthouse, and it's a legal marriage and you have a marriage certificate, so you fulfilled the requirements of the K-1.

Your marriage certificate is the one document that will allow you to change your name.

It's quite normal that a couple that just moved in together doesn't have a truckload of evidence yet.

Don't worry too much; if your marriage is genuine, then no I.O. will hold it against you that you are on a super-tight budget right now.

Relax.

[Inky 1,110]

Most people marry in the court in regular clothes and then have a cheap dinner.

We went to buffalo wild wings with friends after our wedding. We never included not 1 photo with AOS. We never were RFEd or asked for photos at all and approved without interview.

I saw a couple married at the court house ( a USC and a Mexican citizen) in regular clothes who said they were having their " reception " at subway...

You are over thinking it.

[britnick77 0]

Most people marry in the court in regular clothes and then have a cheap dinner.

We went to buffalo wild wings with friends after our wedding. We never included not 1 photo with AOS. We never were RFEd or asked for photos at all and approved without interview.

I saw a couple married at the court house ( a USC and a Mexican citizen) in regular clothes who said they were having their " reception " at subway...

You are over thinking it.

Exactly, we got married in the courthouse, just ourselves. The IO understands alot of ppl dont have money for big weddings, Our officer didnt even ask for wedding pictures. Just have other forms of proof of marriage, mingle of finances and etc.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Casual wedding is no issue.

1. Make sure you write your married name on the AOS forms, and your maiden in "other names used". You can change the name on your bank accunt with just your marriage certificate... that's what I did.

2. What about phones? I'm not ON the bill but my name is on the mailing address.

As others have said, K1's CAN be approved without interview. I personally sent ONLY what was required from the forms (see the AOS thread in my signature) and was approved without RFE or interview. in the event you DO have an interview you could submit Wills, affidavits from friends and family, cards from friends and family, some people print photos from FB showing friends comment on photos of them together. Once you get the EAD you could get your licence (even if you don't drive yet). What about health insurance?

You were eligible for a SSN when you arrived and have until day 76 to request a SSN at the SSA. Your signature says August 10 you landed. That means your "SSA deadline" (before getting an EAD which allows you to as well) is: October 25, 2011. You still have time. Head down to the SSA with you passport (I-94 and visa) and your marriage certificate and apply for it based on your K1 visa. You ARE eligible, don't let them tell you you're not. If you have any trouble come back and ask about it (or make sure you have the SSA number in your mobile before you head to the SSA so if your local office gives you problems call the head office while you're still there, tell them you're RIGHT outside and can they call someone and tell them you're coming right back in to sort it out).

Edited September 28, 2011 by Vanessa&Tony

[amandas1216 8]

i married at the courthouse...we just didnt have the money...i dressed nice and took a few pics and had 2 witnesses....no big deal.went to wendys after cuz we were starving!no worries....

[Alianza Terps 12]

You don't need to submit evidence of your marriage/relationship (besides the required documents for AOS, like the marriage certificate) unless you have an interview (IF you have an interview). You still have time to start documenting your marriage and putting both your names on bills, leases, cell phone plans, etc.

We just filled out all the required AOS forms and supporting documents requested and the green card was approved. We did not send in any photos, joint apartment leases, or bills when we sent our AOS package in. We lucked out and did not have to have another interview but if we did, we were ready with our names on the same leases/bills/etc.

[Deema & Wayne 28]

Don't sweat the big wedding, my husband was wearing jeans and a t-shirt and I wore a simple dress, my father in law was wearing his work clothes LOL. It's not a big deal relax

[kennym 275]

Yea,

I am not sure why you're worried, we did the same thing.. I actually did wear slacks and my wife had bought a cheap dress... After all the flights, visa fees, etc, we also were having to watch our expenses.. I am actually embarrased to show our wedding photos...

Don't sweat it..

Edited September 28, 2011 by kennym

[I+H 11]

I wouldn't worry yourself over this. Our marriage was extremely simple. We only have 4 or 5 pics of us together and we were not super dressed up. We are also hurting for money ourselves and plan to have a small reception in a couple of months after we have saved some money. Maybe you two can do the same. I think it is understandable that we have spent quite a bit of money at this point and not everyone can afford a lavish wedding and others don't want one. They care that you two married each other for the right reasons and you two will have an opportunity to prove that to them during your interview.

Best of luck to you both!

[SaraDee 9]

Nowhere in the USCIS paperwork does it say that marriage is only for the rich. Not everyone can afford a big wedding. That doesn't make them less eligible for gaining status here. Many people get married at the courthouse in plain clothes. We saw many people waiting to get married when we got our license.

my thoughts to you is don't worry about the wedding. If the IO asks about it then just tell the truth. They should be fine with it. What you should do is focus on what you can do. Try to get your name on some of the utility bills and get a letter from the landlord stating that you live in the apartment and that they would not change the lease because you dont have a SSN. Take as many pictures as possible with family and friends and if he has any insurance get your name on as a beneficiary.

Good Luck!!

[xocanin 0]

Oh wow, thanks everyone for replying! I'm relieved to know that not having a big wedding isn't a problem. Also glad that we weren't the only ones who got married in jeans!

Okay, so hold on -- I CAN get a SSN? I was told by several people that I cannot get one with a K-1 visa and that I am only eligible when I have a valid work permit, a US photo ID of some sort or a green card with my legal (married) name on it. I have no US ID of any kind or anything that has my married name on it yet. I don't drive so no driver's license and I don't qualify for a Texas state ID. The bank didn't let me change my name on our account without a photo ID, even though we brought our marriage certificate...

Also, I was under the impression that everyone had interviews, but you're all saying "if" we have one? So some people get approved without an interview? My mind is blown. How common is that?

Oh, and I don't have a timeline because I'm a little paranoid about posting personal information online and it asked for our full names etc. I got my visa on July 21st, arrived here Aug 16th, married Sept 19th and my I-94 expires November 14.

Thank you all for the replies, I feel much better now!

Edited September 28, 2011 by xocanin

[Barbara J 115]

Oh wow, thanks everyone for replying! I'm relieved to know that not having a big wedding isn't a problem. Also glad that we weren't the only ones who got married in jeans!

Okay, so hold on -- I CAN get a SSN? I was told by several people that I cannot get one with a K-1 visa and that I am only eligible when I have a valid work permit, a US photo ID of some sort or a green card with my legal (married) name on it. I have no US ID of any kind or anything that has my married name on it yet. I don't drive so no driver's license and I don't qualify for a Texas state ID. The bank didn't let me change my name on our account without a photo ID, even though we brought our marriage certificate...

Also, I was under the impression that everyone had interviews, but you're all saying "if" we have one? So some people get approved without an interview? My mind is blown. How common is that?

Oh, and I don't have a timeline because I'm a little paranoid about posting personal information online and it asked for our full names etc. I got my visa on July 21st, arrived here Aug 16th, married Sept 19th and my I-94 expires November 14.

Thank you all for the replies, I feel much better now!

You can go and get a SSN 10-15 days after your arrival and you can have it in your married name as well, you just take your marriage cert and passport for id. I did that and never had a problem. The bank also put me on the joint account with marriage cert and then I had one here as an non resident alien before I moved here and they changed that to my married name and with SSN. No not everyone has an interview as many who get transferred to CSC California many times don't have an interview which happened to us and also Vanessa and Tony. I never had to send weddig pics off with AOS anyways it was just passport pics marriage cert and proof of our residence so get your SSN and you can go on the lease. Your tie line does not have to have all your personal info names and so on just the your process dates which helps others.