Coming to America....

[LoveNigarmostyle 164]

Hi Love....HAHA....Giiiirrrrrl glad I struck you as someone who could care less at what people say or do because you are absolutely correct. Anyways I was not really asking about my situation specifically and might have worded my post as if I was...I just wanted to hear what people thought it general about the stigma placed on people coming to America that they only want a visa (thought it would be an interesting topic, come to find out its been covered on VJ...LOL). Anyways there is nothing that anyone can say or do that can break the bond my sweetheart and I have built, WE know what we have been through and where we are going....Love, keep strong and keep pushin...You know that God is working all this out for you two...Always in my prayers....XOXO

Thank you everyone for your input and opinions.

Thanks for the post and for the well wishes. You know you are in my prayers always as well.

[Ban Hammer 13,283]

Kenny Loggin - Meet me half way. You should be careful about posting copyrighted material,expecially without giving credit.

In a lifetime

Made of memories

I believe

In destiny

Every moment returns again in time

When I've got the future on my mind

Know that you'll be the only one

Meet me halfway

Across the sky

Out where the world belongs

to only you and I

Meet me halfway

Across the sky

Make this a new beginning of another life.

In a lifetime

There is only love

Reaching for the lonely one

We are stronger when we are given love

When we put emotions on the line

Know that we are the timeless ones

Meet me halfway

Across the sky

Out where the world belongs

to only you and I

Meet me halfway

Across the sky

Make this a new beginning of another life.

Meet me halfway

Across the sky

Out where the world belongs

to only you and I

Meet me halfway

Across the sky

Make this a new beginning of another life.

link

Edited September 26, 2011 by charles!

[patient2010 93]

What others think is the least of my worries....That is why I keep my business my business I dont need others to chime in on whats going on in my life......just my thoughts on what i think about what others think.......

[HARMONY2012 16]

Stats from Nigeria are not pretty , about 1/4 will never get approved by the embassy before the relationship falls apart and about 1/2 of the ones that do make it will not last past 5 years. Are you in the 75% that are doomed or in the other part , no ones knows for sure because no one would go through this if they knew they would end up in the 75% that eventually fail. For someone to grow up in Nigeria and then just up and move to the US is hard, and it is harder when you are married to someone that understands little of your culture. Get mad if you want but you friends are just pointing out the facts.

I cannot ever get mad at someone's input. I appreciate your reply...

[HARMONY2012 16]

I came here as an immigrant myself from Germany and recently someone asked me : So why did you come here, was it because you wanted to make a better life for yourself ?

Heck no it wasn't. My life was fine.

I felt insulted and shocked.

Granted Nigeria is a high fraud country and Germany isn't but for a moment I felt what genuine Nigerians feel....the condescending remarks get old. Real old.

Though I believe the people saying this to you do it because they are concerned about you and want you to do the right thing, the right thing they would do is not your right thing. Do your thing...lol. It's your life.

When friends and family make those remarks to me I respond depending on the situation/person :

1. Don't stereotype. Period.

2. I am capable of making my own choices and accepting the consequences of the outcome,the good, the bad and the ugly.

3. Why, don't you think I got it going on enough to keep my man ? Rather insulting !

4. Thank you for your advice, I know you mean well but you are now beating a dead horse and my mind is made up.

5. I thought it through, did my research, know my man and this subject is now closed from here on. Either support me or don't. Subject done. Conversation over. Would you like some tea ?

Try responding with the answers confidently and they will soon stop. Never discuss adjustment problems with them but find supportive friends who know what's up and are supportive or else you will hear " I told you so's" for every little thing.

It is just one of the little baggage deals that comes with the package.

By the way, over here we have scammers with brief cases, CEO's and politicians dressed in Italian suits and bankers and hedge fund 3 ring circus acrobats. Drum roll

Your a riot! Lol...I like that...

[jenkatx 52]

What do you guys think?

I am so sick and tired of people friends, certain family members, even strangers talking about the high divorce rate among Nigerians who come to America whether male or female. I hear it from everyone its really starting to annoy me and I felt like using this outlet to let out my steam. Like I tell them if you both know you love each other and trust each other then what’s the problem. I agree it will not be easy when they get here, we all know that. There is the culture shock and everything else that comes with entering a new environment. But is it impossible? NO!! Can it work? Of Course!!

This stereotype that all Nigerians just come to America for papers is annoying. Ok ALOT of them do, but then again some don’t. That’s why you take time and get to know the person you are dealing with. I have known my fiancé since 2005; we met at my cousin’s traditional wedding. I used to go home to see him, visit with his family, and know him from inside and out and once I felt this way it was then that I decided to file for him to come here. How do you guys handle this when people tell you "Oh he or she will change when they get to the states?" OR “The marriage will not work out?” Or “No matter what you know about him, he will leave you once he gets his green card”. I know that everything at the end of the day is in Gods hands, but I wanted to see what other people thought.

I can so feel you on this one. I can not count the number of ignorant remarks I have heard from people regarding my honeys nationality & intent. After years it still gets to me at times. I can not understand how people think that it is okay to judge my honey just because he is Nigerian. It is equal to someone telling me, yeah you are American so you MUST be FAT! Huh? Lol. Sadly, I have lost a few friends over this, but that just means they were not true friends in the first place. As you said, I know my baby, he makes me happy, and I believe in him.

[LoveNigarmostyle 164]

Your a riot! Lol...I like that...

That she is! I agree

[LoveNigarmostyle 164]

I can so feel you on this one. I can not count the number of ignorant remarks I have heard from people regarding my honeys nationality & intent. After years it still gets to me at times. I can not understand how people think that it is okay to judge my honey just because he is Nigerian. It is equal to someone telling me, yeah you are American so you MUST be FAT! Huh? Lol. Sadly, I have lost a few friends over this, but that just means they were not true friends in the first place. As you said, I know my baby, he makes me happy, and I believe in him.

jenkatx, so sorry that you have lost few friends. YET, in the process, you have made some new and awesome friends! (No names mentioned here)LOL. Ultimately, it is your life and your decision, a good friend will say his/her peace, and still stick around to see you through it regardless.

[naijaboy 16]

my fiance is the one who reminds me and boldly says divorce is not an option no matter what!

[LoveNigarmostyle 164]

What others think is the least of my worries....That is why I keep my business my business I dont need others to chime in on whats going on in my life......just my thoughts on what i think about what others think.......

You tell them patient2010, that a girl!

[patient2010 93]

You tell them patient2010, that a girl!

Girl I can go on and on but I decided to make it short and to the point!!!....lol I dont allow negativity in my life it is so not an option

[LoveNigarmostyle 164]

Girl I can go on and on but I decided to make it short and to the point!!!....lol I dont allow negativity in my life it is so not an option

Wonderful attitude! I know exactly what you mean! Negativity has no room in my life

[Zee Bee 61]

I don't care what people say. My mom says it best when she told me "Don't give people a reason to talk".

Unfortnately, the reputation of Nigeria is that they are all 419 scammers. I also think that sometimes people are quick to label an international failed relationship as a scam rather than a couple that just didn't work.