Can't find co-sponsor, Need your help

[az110965 252]

Hi Loretta.

Sorry to see you're having a difficult time finding a suitable co-sponsor for you in your situation. I know you're determined to have your fiance here with you, and I've thought a lot about possible solutions. I have one - but you may not like it.

Your ex-husband obviously can afford to pay you child support for your 3 children. I know that at the present time he's your sole source of income, so maybe you make him a proposal -

HE be your co-sponsor and in return you offer to either reduce or althoughter eliminate his child support after your fiance arrives, receives his AOS and can obtain employment. This is a win - win for all parties involved. Your ex-husband gets reduced child support simply for signing the affadavit of supoport and you get your fiance here, who can work to supoport your family.

I know this might not be the best solution but from what I'm reading it might be your only one. The embassy could care less who your co-sponsor is and this would solve your problem.

Just my .02

[villaspurs 65]

Sometimes I think we are so desperate to get our loved ones to us that we underestimate what we are asking co-sponsors to do. If things don't work out between the couple for some reason, the co-sponsor could be on the hook to pay back all means-tested benefits. This doesn't necessarily end in ten years. If the beneficiary chooses to never work and never gets citizenship, that's it--the government can come after the co-sponsor for funds if they chose to do so. I can honestly say I would not sign for anyone, and I can't think of anyone I would ask either.

On a related note, check out the "Effects of Major Changes" forum--you'll see an awful lot of posts from people who are freaking out because their marriage didn't work out and now the Affadavit of Supports are terrifying commitments. This is not to say the OP's relationship isn't going to work out--just that it does happen more than we would like to think.

To the OP, I really do wish you well--I hope you can find someone willing to help you out!

[P & T 14]

Maybe there is a different angle that you can investigate here. I dont think you will find a willing sponsor as it is too big a commitment to make for anyone that you are not 'tied' to as we are talking 10 years. People will not commit to a 10 year financial hook, but you can probably plead a case for 'child care assistance.' Child care assistance might be available from friends who didnt want to commit to sponsoring AND it may be available from folks you can trust with a good heart that dont have the finances to be a joint-sponsor but want to help you. Is there an older person you trust in the neighborhood? Are your children well behaved enough that folks would want to help you 'baby sit them' so you can be employed and provide proper supervision for your kids in the eyes of the law? (If your kids are a bit unruly, thats a whole other can of worms you should be addressing.)Pick a job that satisfies the sponsorship requirement. Pick one if possible that has a better schedule to work with the baby sitting offers people make to you.

What is the story with your fiance's finances and available time? You are blessed in having a Canadian fiance that has travel privileges to spend time in the USA. You didnt say what he did exactly, so that is a determination for you and him to make. If his job responsibilities permit it, is there any way that he can come to visit you in the states and help baby sit while you hold down the Sponsorship Qualifying Job? Is he planning on terminating his employment in Canada? Does he have a good savings account amount already saved? Canadian visitation rights might permit him to come to you, babysit for a month (or however long Canada residents are allowed to be here), return home for a week while you have a friend babysit, then he comes back, babysits for you for a month...... You get it? I'm not saying liquidate all his assets today to pay your way, but if coming to USA has to be the answer, he may need to give a little to get a little. Use the 'visits' to the maximum allowable time and to your and his maximum benefit.

Hate to sound so Jerry McGuireish, but really, you've got to help people help you. Make the effort to handle what you should clearly label as your responsibilities and, show them the long haul commitment to your fiance that will motivate them to do the parts they can willingly agree/compromise to. (I'll say no to sponsoring, but I would feel guilty enough about the NO to babysit just because I said no and see you are struggling.)

Perhaps a CR1 process that is less costly and will give him immediate work privileges is meant to be a part of your focus. If you go through it with no snags, you could be done before he maxes out his annual time here AND give your close friends a chance to see him/know him better so that they can feel more comfortable saying 'yes' to sponsoring him if you still have your back against the wall.

[I+H 11]

Hi Loretta.

Sorry to see you're having a difficult time finding a suitable co-sponsor for you in your situation. I know you're determined to have your fiance here with you, and I've thought a lot about possible solutions. I have one - but you may not like it.

Your ex-husband obviously can afford to pay you child support for your 3 children. I know that at the present time he's your sole source of income, so maybe you make him a proposal -

HE be your co-sponsor and in return you offer to either reduce or althoughter eliminate his child support after your fiance arrives, receives his AOS and can obtain employment. This is a win - win for all parties involved. Your ex-husband gets reduced child support simply for signing the affadavit of supoport and you get your fiance here, who can work to supoport your family.

I know this might not be the best solution but from what I'm reading it might be your only one. The embassy could care less who your co-sponsor is and this would solve your problem.

Just my .02

I personally think this isn't a bad idea. Good thinking!

[az110965 252]

"Perhaps a CR1 process that is less costly and will give him immediate work privileges is meant to be a part of your focus. If you go through it with no snags, you could be done before he maxes out his annual time here AND give your close friends a chance to see him/know him better so that they can feel more comfortable saying 'yes' to sponsoring him if you still have your back against the wall".

Unfortunately the OP still needs to overcome the income hurdle she faces whether she continues the K-1 route or if she marries and goes the CR-1. While it's true that the non USC can immediately work upon his arrival under a CR-1, the CR-1 won't be approved unless the OP meets the minimum income criteria. It's a catch-22.

I personally think this isn't a bad idea. Good thinking!

Thanks. My heart goes out to the OP and I figured it just might work. Everybody wins if she can convince her ex to co-sponsor

[skiptex 225]

Thanks. My heart goes out to the OP and I figured it just might work. Everybody wins if she can convince her ex to co-sponsor

for sure!

[I+H 11]

"Perhaps a CR1 process that is less costly and will give him immediate work privileges is meant to be a part of your focus. If you go through it with no snags, you could be done before he maxes out his annual time here AND give your close friends a chance to see him/know him better so that they can feel more comfortable saying 'yes' to sponsoring him if you still have your back against the wall".

Unfortunately the OP still needs to overcome the income hurdle she faces whether she continues the K-1 route or if she marries and goes the CR-1. While it's true that the non USC can immediately work upon his arrival under a CR-1, the CR-1 won't be approved unless the OP meets the minimum income criteria. It's a catch-22.

Thanks. My heart goes out to the OP and I figured it just might work. Everybody wins if she can convince her ex to co-sponsor

I feel for her too. I don't understand why people use this forum to say hateful stuff. If you don't have anything nice to say don't say it. We are here to help each other out, not put our foot on someone's head that is "drowning". Let's lend a hand!

[az110965 252]

"I feel for her too. I don't understand why people use this forum to say hateful stuff. If you don't have anything nice to say don't say it. We are here to help each other out, not put our foot on someone's head that is "drowning". Let's lend a hand!"

I agree that sometimes people can be cruel in their responses when someone who is in trouble posts - but honesty is the best policy. Some senior members of this forum don't have much tact but they tell it like it is and that benefits the majority of the people who are members of this forum.

I'd rather see someone respond to a post in an abrupt and curt manner than to see people respond nicely who give incorrect answers or information.

[meandmybeloved 15]

Good for you girl! Just keep it up and God willing someone will step up and help you both out. I will keep you in my prayers.

And please don't let some of these people get to you, if they have any heart they would be doing the same thing you are for their loved one if they had to.

Thanks so much and thank you for your prayers,I sure could use them.

[I+H 11]

"I feel for her too. I don't understand why people use this forum to say hateful stuff. If you don't have anything nice to say don't say it. We are here to help each other out, not put our foot on someone's head that is "drowning". Let's lend a hand!"

I agree that sometimes people can be cruel in their responses when someone who is in trouble posts - but honesty is the best policy. Some senior members of this forum don't have much tact but they tell it like it is and that benefits the majority of the people who are members of this forum.

I'd rather see someone respond to a post in an abrupt and curt manner than to see people respond nicely who give incorrect answers or information.

I agree. I am all for being straightforward, I am talking about people that just say stuff that is just down right mean. I actually appreciate many of the senior VJer's posts. They are straight to the point and they don't beat around the bush. But as for nasty comments that don't do anyone any good, that's not cool.

[meandmybeloved 15]

Hi Loretta.

Sorry to see you're having a difficult time finding a suitable co-sponsor for you in your situation. I know you're determined to have your fiance here with you, and I've thought a lot about possible solutions. I have one - but you may not like it.

Your ex-husband obviously can afford to pay you child support for your 3 children. I know that at the present time he's your sole source of income, so maybe you make him a proposal -

HE be your co-sponsor and in return you offer to either reduce or althoughter eliminate his child support after your fiance arrives, receives his AOS and can obtain employment. This is a win - win for all parties involved. Your ex-husband gets reduced child support simply for signing the affadavit of supoport and you get your fiance here, who can work to supoport your family.

I know this might not be the best solution but from what I'm reading it might be your only one. The embassy could care less who your co-sponsor is and this would solve your problem.

Just my .02

WOW, I LOVE IT!!! REALLY GOOD IDEA. That is a very very good possibility. I think he will for sure take this deal and it might be the answer I'm looking for. THANK YOU SO MUCH. :thumbs:

[meandmybeloved 15]

I feel for her too. I don't understand why people use this forum to say hateful stuff. If you don't have anything nice to say don't say it. We are here to help each other out, not put our foot on someone's head that is "drowning". Let's lend a hand!

Thank you

[I+H 11]

Thank you

No problem girl!

Just keep your head up and don't pay attention to the negative!

[meandmybeloved 15]

No problem girl!

Just keep your head up and don't pay attention to the negative!

OH, I WILL. I AM ACTUALLY SO EXCITED NOW AFTER READING THE PREVIOUS POSTERS SUGGESTION ABOUT ASKING THE EX. I know how much the ex wants his money back, and he might

just do that. I will keep you posted on how it goes.

WoooooHooooooo.

[Winning23 25]

Is no one reading and understanding that I have 3 kids. I may have a ex-husband, but I would never ever do something like up and move to canada and take my kids from their father, so I don't understand why I keep getting comments to move to canada. Are you saying that I should tear my kids away from their father, or suggesting I leave them behind?

Neither are an option. I believe in my God above and believe that he has put Rick and I together for a reason, and he will make a way.

Sorry to hear about your situation, but the suggestions to moving to Canada are not far-fetched.

1. You are divorced and you are raising the kids, by yourself.

2. Your family in the US isn't supportive and not helping w/ co sponsorship.

3. A US Citizen going to Canada is not difficult at all, in fact, many are moving due to the bad economy.

4. Your children will miss their dad, but, Canada is not like going to Saudi Arabic, it's a short plane ride from US or even driving distance.

5. If Rick has a good job and stable in Canada, he can marry you there, and support you there, plus health care as a married women is much better given your medical condition.

I understand your frustration, but, there are many plus points about going to Rick vs. him coming here.