Men get put in JAIL when they can't afford to pay child support, but women get rewarded with a WELFARE CHECK.

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

So there were no red flags? This "perfect" woman had all these problems and you simply missed them?

I'm perplexed by all these stories of "she just went crazy." I know every woman is a little bit crazy, but so often I hear the crazy ex-wives stories that I have to call BS. They can't all just flip like that. There has to have been some tell-tale signs.

Though, I have heard of women changing significantly after child birth - A huge reason why I don't reproduce with my wife. She's crazy enough already!

Ya they can just flip. A lot of times it's the change of life, and other times it's what they do...flip out. Gals have murdered men in this country and beat the rap with the PMS excuse. Now explain that one please.

But why would they?

If you were picked up for something, sure. But it's not like they're going to extradite you for child support. I'd just stop paying. Screw her. Let her come after you for the money and in doing so, prove how much she really has. "But ma'am, how could you afford such legal fees without my clients payments each month?"

Yes in fact they do come and pick you up for being behind on child support, and yes they do stick you in jail for it. Different states have different laws, but in states like Washington state they come looking for you with a warrant ...especially if they know where to come looking like at your job site. Then everything you own has a lean on it, and you pay for the jail time. These stories you see on here are reality. Life isn't what it should be sometimes, it's what the government makes it.

Are you in Canada or the US?

I'd probably get a congressman involved. There's no reason any grown person should be supporting another grown person they've divorced. Or did you divorce her and agree to pay? In that case you get what you get.

A Congressman could give two sh*ts less about this sh*t. Beating a mom in court doesn't score the Congressman votes. Again this is the real world, not some right wing magazine on how life should be in the US of A. It is what it is.

I'm tired of hearing this. I know very, very, VERY few women who work more than their husbands. Most jump at the chance t be supported.

The sad thing is courts typically reward them for such behavior.

And we agree on this one.

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

You pay across borders?

Also, it's never too late to get that stopped.

Did you have no clue that she'd be an unfit mother? She doesn't like to work - did she work while you were married?

It surprises me how people have such horrible ex wives yet spent so long with them. How did you not know?

My ex was in the who's who for brainy high school students. Social drank on occasions, graduated high school a year early, went on and got her Bachelors degree in computer information systems, got a great job with the state of Alaska...where she started out as an intern in her second year of college, and is now making close to two hundred thousand a year gross.

She tied up with some suit while I was working out of town, and did a total turn around with the attitude. People change and they usually change for a reason(s). She wanted out, but first she wanted to force me out. I didn't know this until I found out she was fckng around on me while I was at work seeing how I would fly out for two weeks at a time and then come home for two weeks. Again it's reality.

[slim 1,533]

Ya they can just flip. A lot of times it's the change of life, and other times it's what they do...flip out. Gals have murdered men in this country and beat the rap with the PMS excuse. Now explain that one please.

The only reason I can see this flying is because everyone out there can relate. "She just went crazy." Yep, we've all had that happen.

As to why they don't go to jail afterwards - temporary insanity!

Yes in fact they do come and pick you up for being behind on child support, and yes they do stick you in jail for it. Different states have different laws, but in states like Washington state they come looking for you with a warrant ...especially if they know where to come looking like at your job site. Then everything you own has a lean on it, and you pay for the jail time. These stories you see on here are reality. Life isn't what it should be sometimes, it's what the government makes it.

The poster was talking about an international situation. I beieve that changes things, somewhat. I also believe they're not going to come after you across international borders.

A Congressman could give two sh*ts less about this sh*t. Beating a mom in court doesn't score the Congressman votes. Again this is the real world, not some right wing magazine on how life should be in the US of A. It is what it is.

International.

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

The only reason I can see this flying is because everyone out there can relate. "She just went crazy." Yep, we've all had that happen.

As to why they don't go to jail afterwards - temporary insanity!

The poster was talking about an international situation. I beieve that changes things, somewhat. I also believe they're not going to come after you across international borders.

International.

ok I read that post too fast and missed that part about one being in Canada and the other being in the US. My bad.

[Alex & Rachel 78]

I'm tired of hearing this. I know very, very, VERY few women who work more than their husbands. Most jump at the chance t be supported.

The sad thing is courts typically reward them for such behavior.

It will be interesting to see how future generations fare.

I just did a tally of all my friends (I'm 28) and... in every single relationship, the woman earns as much or more than the man. In at least two the woman supports the man fully.

[slim 1,533]

ok I read that post too fast and missed that part about one being in Canada and the other being in the US. My bad.

No worries.

What's your take on it? You have a little Canada experience. Do you think if this dude (in NY) stopped paying is ex-wife (in CN) spousal support that anything would happen to him?

I don't think squat would happen.

[sly_wolf 199]

The poster was talking about an international situation. I beieve that changes things, somewhat. I also believe they're not going to come after you across international borders.

I was told by a lawyer that yes they can take legal action against you from the other side of the border.

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

No worries.

What's your take on it? You have a little Canada experience. Do you think if this dude (in NY) stopped paying is ex-wife (in CN) spousal support that anything would happen to him?

I don't think squat would happen.

I don't know what they can do, but I know the US and Canada are ultra tight with each other when it comes to legal matters. Canada has the same date base as the US does. They can look up anything in your past when you go to cross the border.

[slim 1,533]

It will be interesting to see how future generations fare.

I just did a tally of all my friends (I'm 28) and... in every single relationship, the woman earns as much or more than the man. In at least two the woman supports the man fully.

No offense, but you must not have many friends. Also, how many of them have kids? If they do, did you take into account lost wages while she wasn't working?

I was told by a lawyer that yes they can take legal action against you from the other side of the border.

Taking legal action is a lot different than "picking you up."

I don't know what they can do, but I know the US and Canada are ultra tight with each other when it comes to legal matters. Canada has the same date base as the US does. They can look up anything in your past when you go to cross the border.

But are they going to come get him? I really doubt it.

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

It will be interesting to see how future generations fare.

I just did a tally of all my friends (I'm 28) and... in every single relationship, the woman earns as much or more than the man. In at least two the woman supports the man fully.

Three sisters, and two brothers. Two of my sisters make six figures, the other one is just under a hundred grand a year. My two brothers...both union make five figures along with myself. You look at university figures, and female students out number the men these days by almost 2-1.

[sly_wolf 199]

No offense, but you must not have many friends. Also, how many of them have kids? If they do, did you take into account lost wages while she wasn't working?

Taking legal action is a lot different than "picking you up."

But are they going to come get him? I really doubt it.

I am not a betting man so I wouldn't bet on it. Besides it could come back to haunt me if I decide to apply for citizenship. I think that question comes up somewhere.

[Alex & Rachel 78]

No offense, but you must not have many friends. Also, how many of them have kids? If they do, did you take into account lost wages while she wasn't working?

This is based on a sample size of about 15 couples; not a huge number, but not insignificant. And of course I'm guessing at some figures. There'd probably be more if I didn't have so many single friends.

Granted, only one of the couples has kids. The rest don't want them, at least currently, which is another trend I'm seeing in my age group.

I don't think it's a case of not having many friends. I think what is more likely to be influencing my experience is that I've always lived in large cities where the cost of living is very high. And...

Three sisters, and two brothers. Two of my sisters make six figures, the other one is just under a hundred grand a year. My two brothers...both union make five figures along with myself. You look at university figures, and female students out number the men these days by almost 2-1.

I'm not sure if this post is agreeing with me or not, but nearly all of my friends in this sample, which also no doubt skews the figures. Those who do not have degrees, all are men. Not to mention that young men have been hardest hit by lay-offs and the recession.

I'm currently expecting and... lost wages? Barring any medical conditions, I'm not expecting to take a single day of maternity leave. We couldn't afford it!

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

This is based on a sample size of about 15 couples; not a huge number, but not insignificant. And of course I'm guessing at some figures. There'd probably be more if I didn't have so many single friends.

Granted, only one of the couples has kids. The rest don't want them, at least currently, which is another trend I'm seeing in my age group.

I don't think it's a case of not having many friends. I think what is more likely to be influencing my experience is that I've always lived in large cities where the cost of living is very high. And...

I'm not sure if this post is agreeing with me or not, but nearly all of my friends in this sample, which also no doubt skews the figures. Those who do not have degrees, all are men. Not to mention that young men have been hardest hit by lay-offs and the recession.

I'm currently expecting and... lost wages? Barring any medical conditions, I'm not expecting to take a single day of maternity leave. We couldn't afford it!

Back in the day blue collar work payed well and a lot of guys would forgo college and go straight to work. These days blue collar work has taken a giant hit and doesn't pay what it used to, and the professional positions are being filled by women seeing how they are the ones who are going on to higher education after high school.

[Tim/Mav 305]

I have to disagree because child support is the burden of the person not in custody of the kids. If the man had the kids and his old lady didn't pay, she'd go to jail while he collected the check.

Sorry Slim. Disagreed. Been there done that. They do not go after HER. She still recieves goverment help and they totally know she is deliquent when she left years ago. I just don't give a ####### anymore and neither does goverment. If the man did this, He is screwed.

If you been there, share that! I been there and don't give a rats #### anymore.

[ready4ONE 5,400]

Sorry Slim. Disagreed. Been there done that. They do not go after HER. She still recieves goverment help and they totally know she is deliquent when she left years ago. I just don't give a ####### anymore and neither does goverment. If the man did this, He is screwed.

If you been there, share that! I been there and don't give a rats #### anymore.

I have custody and my ex-wife hasn't paid CS in 9 months. No indication she will go to jail. She gets DSHS assistance for the child from her second failed marriage although that kid is not living with her.

At least our kids are properly cared for. A few years back the ex tried the false allegation to get sole custody gambit mentioned earlier in this thread but it blew up in her face.