Men get put in JAIL when they can't afford to pay child support, but women get rewarded with a WELFARE CHECK.

[sly_wolf 199]

Been there, done that! The posts on here pointing to the overwhelming BIAS in favor of mothers are absolutely right! Those of you who assume it is simply a matter of fighting for custody or filing an appeal haven't got a clue!!! There may be some enlightened and fair judges in some jurisdictions. Definitely not here! I could tell you horror stories, both my own and friends of mine.

Agreed. I have spoken to a few lawyers and they admitted to me that they prefer having the female clients since they usually have the upper hand in a divorce case. My lawyer once stated to me that I dont have much rights as the male.

You got off easy. I had to pay the A$hole attorney's fees who assisted the @&%*# who made my life hell!

Yep, me too. And they dont care of you can afford it or not.

[MyLittlePony 340]

Welfare is for crack heads and need new tougher restrictions people abuse the system if not carefully the free money well might run dry.

[^_^ 5,021]

Welfare is for crack heads and need new tougher restrictions people abuse the system if not carefully the free money well might run dry.

[sly_wolf 199]

And the newest weapon these days is to "suggest" that the father abused the children. What some spouses and lawyers do is horrible and its much more common than you would think.

[slim 1,533]

Seriously are you from Ohio or something?

When you lose everything how do you afford to pay for an "appeal" ? Better yet what are the chances of winning an appeal? Try like slim to none. This is planet earth were talking about, not Mars.

I am from Ohio.

What I see when folks get "burned" in the divorce is they agree to a settlement that they should've spent a lot more time fighting for. "I wasted 12 years of marriage with that &*#@ and she took me for all I had." How many times did you go to court? "Once. I couldn't afford any more because that f'kin attorney took all my money too."

Court isn't cheap. But, you do sign for the divorce, right? Do you not have the option to fight a little bit more?

Divorce is a lawsuit. People forget that.

It sure is.

Even when we get 50-50 custody, we still get screwed. I've got buddies getting totally hosed by this #######. You could make 50,000 a year. The mother could make 45k a year. You could split an 800 dollar a month daycare bill. BUT still end up having to pay an additional 3-500 a month for 1 kid. In addition to getting totally f'd on the house, debts, savings, cars, pension, 401K.......... oh and the best for last is: if you're married long enough and she never remarries she can come haunt you at social security time.

It's all BS!

3-500 a month in child support but they can't afford more to fight the legal system? Sounds like a lot of money to me!

Yes, my ex-wife will never get a job (at least not on record) since she knows how to play the game. She has been living the easy life of a retired person alone in a house thats worth over 3 times as much as mine currently.

Report her ####.

I'm constantly baffled by the dudes that sit around claiming how great their ex has it and how bad their life is now. If you want her back... go for it! If not, stop comparing your life to hers and for darn sure stop talking about "what could have been."

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

Wow - I actually agree with Slim on something, I might have to go lie down.

Almost everyone I have heard complain about their divorce settlement (and this includes both of my parents) would rather complain than actually have done something about it.

[^_^ 5,021]

Wow - I actually agree with Slim on something, I might have to go lie down.

slim is going to read that the wrong way

[kytwell 179]

The guy is a moron. Who pays child support and who qualifies for welfare is based on who has primary custody of the child. A father with sole custody of his child, for example, can go after the mother of the child for child support payments.

Not true. You can have 50-50 custody of the kids and decide not to work. Collect child support and welfare, while shacking up with your boyfriend. **side note** Unfortunately if he works for Michigan, she won't be able to get health benefits anymore

I have gone after my ex-wife for child support, she doesn't pay and she doesn't go to jail either. I've been to numerous hearings over this. She falls 3 months behind an order goes out for her to appear, one month later. She appears with 300 dollars, claims that's all she has. They take it, deposit to my bank. Then they wait for her to fall behind another 3 months and restart the process. I have rec'd @1800 dollars in 21 months. Supposed to be @ 6000 rec'd so far.

I don't know how it is in all states, but here at least the courts over the last 5-10 years have been leaning towards 50-50 custody when possible. But when it comes to applying child support the women get the pay day. And this creates animosity, because the father then hears about nail and hair appointments(while the kids is dressed in rags) or grandma watched us so that Mom could go out Friday night(the day you deposited you support payment) and then 2 days later the devious ex is saying Johnny needs new shoes or has a doctor appt or whatever other ####### she can dream up, to make you life he!!. Then over time father's make a decision to either keep at it for their kid or they walk away and just pay, without seeing them until their 18 because if they keep the torture up they'll jump off a bridge, shoot her or have a heart attack or ulcer from the stress.

[sly_wolf 199]

Report her ####.

I'm constantly baffled by the dudes that sit around claiming how great their ex has it and how bad their life is now. If you want her back... go for it! If not, stop comparing your life to hers and for darn sure stop talking about "what could have been."

Not sure where you got that from. I was referring to what she was awarded .... but I would never want or take her back .... the kids even avoid their mother. She got the money and tried to destroy me financially but she is a miserable soul who can only thrive in conflict and hatred.

[kytwell 179]

3-500 a month in child support but they can't afford more to fight the legal system? Sounds like a lot of money to me!

Child support is based off of salaries. If you make 10k more a year than your ex. You'll be req'd to pay her roughly 5k a year, to make up for the shortfall of her not having your income to utilize anymore. If you make an equal salary, you still will have to pay her something. If you make less than her, you'll have to get a second job, because they're going to make you pay something. In PA it's up to 55% of your take home pay, that they can take from you.

The best case scenario is to come up with an agreement that's best for the children, without involving the courts, but that situation is sadly, very rare.

[웃 910]

Child support is based off of salaries. If you make 10k more a year than your ex. You'll be req'd to pay her roughly 5k a year, to make up for the shortfall of her not having your income to utilize anymore. If you make an equal salary, you still will have to pay her something. If you make less than her, you'll have to get a second job, because they're going to make you pay something. In PA it's up to 55% of your take home pay, that they can take from you.

The best case scenario is to come up with an agreement that's best for the children, without involving the courts, but that situation is sadly, very rare.

Quit complaining, like Slim said, all you have to do is pay a few hundred more for a lawyer. Simple as that.

[natty bumppo 297]

Quit complaining, like Slim said, all you have to do is pay a few hundred more for a lawyer. Simple as that.

that should get about 30-40 minutes of a lawyers time ....

[Usui Takumi 1,562]

Thats one item the article brings up. Fathers do not get legal representation in many southern states.

[slim 1,533]

Not true. You can have 50-50 custody of the kids and decide not to work. Collect child support and welfare, while shacking up with your boyfriend. **side note** Unfortunately if he works for Michigan, she won't be able to get health benefits anymore

I have gone after my ex-wife for child support, she doesn't pay and she doesn't go to jail either. I've been to numerous hearings over this. She falls 3 months behind an order goes out for her to appear, one month later. She appears with 300 dollars, claims that's all she has. They take it, deposit to my bank. Then they wait for her to fall behind another 3 months and restart the process. I have rec'd @1800 dollars in 21 months. Supposed to be @ 6000 rec'd so far.

I don't know how it is in all states, but here at least the courts over the last 5-10 years have been leaning towards 50-50 custody when possible. But when it comes to applying child support the women get the pay day. And this creates animosity, because the father then hears about nail and hair appointments(while the kids is dressed in rags) or grandma watched us so that Mom could go out Friday night(the day you deposited you support payment) and then 2 days later the devious ex is saying Johnny needs new shoes or has a doctor appt or whatever other ####### she can dream up, to make you life he!!. Then over time father's make a decision to either keep at it for their kid or they walk away and just pay, without seeing them until their 18 because if they keep the torture up they'll jump off a bridge, shoot her or have a heart attack or ulcer from the stress.

All you can do is abide by the state's orders.

Once again... a GREAT example of what happens when we allow government to get involved in our business. Why is the government deciding what we do with our families?

Not sure where you got that from. I was referring to what she was awarded .... but I would never want or take her back .... the kids even avoid their mother. She got the money and tried to destroy me financially but she is a miserable soul who can only thrive in conflict and hatred.

You said she wouldn't work on the books. That's illegal. Report her to the authorities and Elliot Ness will come take her down to Chinatown.

If you had to do it all over again, what would you do differently in regards to the divorce process?

Child support is based off of salaries. If you make 10k more a year than your ex. You'll be req'd to pay her roughly 5k a year, to make up for the shortfall of her not having your income to utilize anymore. If you make an equal salary, you still will have to pay her something. If you make less than her, you'll have to get a second job, because they're going to make you pay something. In PA it's up to 55% of your take home pay, that they can take from you.

The best case scenario is to come up with an agreement that's best for the children, without involving the courts, but that situation is sadly, very rare.

The best case scenario is to not have kids. After that, you're better off giving your money to a great lawyer BEFORE you settle in court.

Quit complaining, like Slim said, all you have to do is pay a few hundred more for a lawyer. Simple as that.

Exactly what I'm saying. You're going to "lose" the money in the long run so why not pay it up front and fight for a better settlement?

[sly_wolf 199]

All you can do is abide by the state's orders.

You said she wouldn't work on the books. That's illegal. Report her to the authorities and Elliot Ness will come take her down to Chinatown.

If you had to do it all over again, what would you do differently in regards to the divorce process?

The ex-wife lives in Canada and I cant afford to hire a PI.

If I had to do it again I probably wouldn't use a lawyer. I lost a ####### load on lawyer fees (over 4 years) and it did nothing in the end. I had to rebuild from zero since she got everything. The good part of it now .... 1) I have a great wife here in the US. Wish I would have met her the first time around. 2) The relationship with my sons (from x-wife) is great. The ex tried to destroy that too and her relationship with them is not so great now.