Language - Going from foreign to english at home

[elya 17]

I speak 3 languages comfortably, including 1 that I started studying in college. It bugs me when people think that having a native speaker available means you should use them for practice.

The point of language is to be able to communicate effectively with someone in the way that best supports the development of a relationship (romantic/friendship/business/etc.) - so by all means, communicate in the language that feels most natural and is easiest for both of you.

Learning English is critical - that's what ESL classes and volunteer work/paid work/making American friends through clubs/gyms/other activities is for! If you put a little effort into creating opportunities to practice speaking the language in natural settings, you can focus your at-home life on happy relaxed communication that will benefit the relationship.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

I don't speak American, I speak English. That sounds like a random comment but trust me I have a point!

Australian English is most like UK English but of course different slang terms and some other random differences here and there. US English (or American as I prefer to call it) is not like Aussie or UK English. Not only in spelling but pronunciation. I started compiling a list to send to friends and family because there are a LOT of differences that watching US TV shows just didn't prepare me for... some of them are quite random.

So my native language is English and I moved to a country where most people speak English (in some form). I thought it wouldn't be hard.. but it has been. For work purposes I have to deliberately alter the words I use. I am more careful about trying not to confuse people with how I pronounce things and it's still frustrating when I get it wrong and people correct me (it's rarely in a polite way, they think it's funny or I get the "huh?, What?" instead of a polite "I'm sorry I'm not sure what that means"). Little things but here's where I get to my point... I RESENT being forced to change my words at home. If I do, I do. Being corrected in a social setting is just offensive. Tony told me he only corrects me so that I don't get picked on and what not but... I feel a little like my identity is being stolen. I don't mind changing for work when dealing with clients (I do mind when talking to other employees) because in many ways we "change ourselves" for work. Dressing differently, watching the swearing etc. It makes me feel worse when I call home, or write friends/family and accidentally use an American word. I got mocked for saying "truck" instead of Ute

So my answer to this qn is... ask her. I would be careful though because sometimes without a gentle nudging it's easy to slack off. I would ask her whether she wants you to speak:

1. Mostly English with a few Italian words;

2. Mostly Italian with the occasional English;

3. Only Italian while she replies in English;

4. Only English while she replies in Italian;

5. Only Italian;

6. Only English;

7. English on a certain day of the week;

8. Italian on a certain day of the week;

9. In public you will talk English only (unless she needs something translated)

#9 is polite so I would think that should be a must. But I agree that being forced to do something all day would drain her. It's like forcing someone to lose weight. The more you push the less they want to. Success come when she WANTS to. Offer support in a way that she would be comfortable with.

She deserves a congrats, it's certainly not easy!

**Edit - also. While English is predominant in the US, it's NOT the official language. The US has refrained from setting English as the official language which is one of the reasons why there's no requirement to immigrant (there is in Aus where English IS the official language). I would not be surprised that if forced to pick "official language" the US picks English AND Spanish. For that reason I do plan on learning Spanish.. one day I have Rosetta

Edited September 27, 2011 by Vanessa&Tony