Pregnancy Dilemma

[LoveLoveLove 18]

Hi everyone, my k1 visa is approved and I just need to pick up my visa in MNL and have my CFO seminar this week. That's the good news.

However, I went to my OB-GYNE yesterday to have my check up and the results are not good. My ovarian cyst came back (I had it removed through surgery when I was 20yo, I am now 25yo). I was advised then by my OB to get pregnant, but of course I am not married yet and my fiance and I were not considering marriage yet at that time because for one we were still young, I am still in school and we just want to take things one at a time.

Now, that we found out that my cyst came back (this is a kind of cyst that has a very high recurrence, and the size of my cyst now is big enough to not to be controlled by just medication); my OB gave me an ultimatum of 6 mos to get pregnant, if not I have to go for surgery again. She also outrightly warned me if we do not try getting pregnant now, there would be a big possibility that I wouldnt bear a child anymore.

Okay the dilemma is, my fiance and I are not really considering having a baby in 3 to 5 years for these reasons: we believe that marriage is not just centered upon having children but also being together as a couple, we want to make up our lost time together (being in a 7-year long distance relationship has been too hard to handle, and this is our time to be together just the two of us), me moving to the states will entail a need for me to adjust big time (physically, emotionally, socially and professionally and having a child this soon will be a big responsibility on our part), and lastly, he said he is okay if we can't bear a child (we started discussing this when I had my first ovarian surgery, but of course I, as a woman would still in a way want to give my husband a child).

So, anyone could give me a piece about our situation? I know I can get a good piece of advice from those who are ahead of us in this journey of married life.

Thank you so much

[canadian_wife 1,829]

In the end, it doesn't matter what a bunch of anonymous people on VJ think, this is really a personal decision for you and your husband to make.

He's the one you should be discussing this with him, not us

I hope you find peace in your decision

Good luck

[Dan & Jenni 457]

this is something only the two of you can decide on... all we can do is wish you all the luck in the world

[babystef 8]

Hi everyone, my k1 visa is approved and I just need to pick up my visa in MNL and have my CFO seminar this week. That's the good news.

However, I went to my OB-GYNE yesterday to have my check up and the results are not good. My ovarian cyst came back (I had it removed through surgery when I was 20yo, I am now 25yo). I was advised then by my OB to get pregnant, but of course I am not married yet and my fiance and I were not considering marriage yet at that time because for one we were still young, I am still in school and we just want to take things one at a time.

Now, that we found out that my cyst came back (this is a kind of cyst that has a very high recurrence, and the size of my cyst now is big enough to not to be controlled by just medication); my OB gave me an ultimatum of 6 mos to get pregnant, if not I have to go for surgery again. She also outrightly warned me if we do not try getting pregnant now, there would be a big possibility that I wouldnt bear a child anymore.

Okay the dilemma is, my fiance and I are not really considering having a baby in 3 to 5 years for these reasons: we believe that marriage is not just centered upon having children but also being together as a couple, we want to make up our lost time together (being in a 7-year long distance relationship has been too hard to handle, and this is our time to be together just the two of us), me moving to the states will entail a need for me to adjust big time (physically, emotionally, socially and professionally and having a child this soon will be a big responsibility on our part), and lastly, he said he is okay if we can't bear a child (we started discussing this when I had my first ovarian surgery, but of course I, as a woman would still in a way want to give my husband a child).

So, anyone could give me a piece about our situation? I know I can get a good piece of advice from those who are ahead of us in this journey of married life.

Thank you so much

hello sis, im sorry to hear that the cyst were back again. I have a friend who have same situation with you, until now she could'nt get pregnant esp she older now (34yo) and her hubby went back to Italy..

In my opinion, just do what your heart wants you to do..Follow it. You have to take the risk. If you won't try having a child within the time span given by your OB, just be prepared that you wont be able to bear a child anymore. Just think of it that maybe God gave you this situation for you to able to know what is your priority in life. Being away from your fiance is very hard,m but like you said, you will be together soon so you have all the time in this world to make up for the lost time. Me also was away from my hubby for 5 years now, and soon i hope that we would be together with our kids..Nothing is more happier than to have a complete family.

It's up to you sis, just ask for God's guidance and you will never be lost.God Bless you..

[jameugiekaxavilon 25]

hello sis, im sorry to hear that the cyst were back again. I have a friend who have same situation with you, until now she could'nt get pregnant esp she older now (34yo) and her hubby went back to Italy..

In my opinion, just do what your heart wants you to do..Follow it. You have to take the risk. If you won't try having a child within the time span given by your OB, just be prepared that you wont be able to bear a child anymore. Just think of it that maybe God gave you this situation for you to able to know what is your priority in life. Being away from your fiance is very hard,m but like you said, you will be together soon so you have all the time in this world to make up for the lost time. Me also was away from my hubby for 5 years now, and soon i hope that we would be together with our kids..Nothing is more happier than to have a complete family.

It's up to you sis, just ask for God's guidance and you will never be lost.God Bless you..

I agree.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

I've never heard of a cyst making you infertile. I've heard of MANY cysts having the possibility of making you infertile (as in polycystic ovarian syndrome - PCOS). I wouldn't stress about it but I would speak to a doctor here in the US. I had one very large cyst that "burst" (resolved itself was the technical term). The doctor told me that wasn't a problem as he check the contents and there wasn't anything dangerous inside. It was twice the size of my ovary. I have not been told it's made me infertile. I also know PCOS CAN make you infertile but it isn't a given. Seriously, get a second opinion, sounds like an old wives tale to me.

Edited September 20, 2011 by Vanessa&Tony

[Dan and Judy 614]

When you get to the states, get a second opinion. Then make up your mind.

My ex was told in PI that getting pregnant would "clean her out"

I dont know if that is standard procedure here in the states are not.

I know one standard procedure here is to do a lot more cesarians than is necessary

Edited September 20, 2011 by Dan and Judy

[Amanda and Josh 12]

I'm a midwife and that doesn't sound right to me, even if the cyst where to cause problems to your ovary (very unlikely) you have a second one. I would wait and get a second opinion.

[Mhayonaise 14]

Just like what others said, at the end its you and your fiance's choice. weigh things out and follow your hearts desire Goodluck to both of you.

[Nica_In_Love 98]

I agree with Vanessa&Tony - try getting a second opinion.

[Kirsten UK 2]

Hi everyone, my k1 visa is approved and I just need to pick up my visa in MNL and have my CFO seminar this week. That's the good news.

However, I went to my OB-GYNE yesterday to have my check up and the results are not good. My ovarian cyst came back (I had it removed through surgery when I was 20yo, I am now 25yo). I was advised then by my OB to get pregnant, but of course I am not married yet and my fiance and I were not considering marriage yet at that time because for one we were still young, I am still in school and we just want to take things one at a time.

Now, that we found out that my cyst came back (this is a kind of cyst that has a very high recurrence, and the size of my cyst now is big enough to not to be controlled by just medication); my OB gave me an ultimatum of 6 mos to get pregnant, if not I have to go for surgery again. She also outrightly warned me if we do not try getting pregnant now, there would be a big possibility that I wouldnt bear a child anymore.

Okay the dilemma is, my fiance and I are not really considering having a baby in 3 to 5 years for these reasons: we believe that marriage is not just centered upon having children but also being together as a couple, we want to make up our lost time together (being in a 7-year long distance relationship has been too hard to handle, and this is our time to be together just the two of us), me moving to the states will entail a need for me to adjust big time (physically, emotionally, socially and professionally and having a child this soon will be a big responsibility on our part), and lastly, he said he is okay if we can't bear a child (we started discussing this when I had my first ovarian surgery, but of course I, as a woman would still in a way want to give my husband a child).

So, anyone could give me a piece about our situation? I know I can get a good piece of advice from those who are ahead of us in this journey of married life.

Thank you so much

Are they wanting to remove the affected ovary? If so, do you still have the other ovary? You only need one to get pregnant........