Ex-husband consent for child—in Ukraine

[Phil & Alla 26]

what city is she from?

Kiev area

[Phil & Alla 26]

what city is she from?

Kiev area

[sea-monkey 13]

I would threaten to dump the kid onto him without support if he doesn't sign the papers

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I am hoping someone has some advice. Alla has a 10 year old daughter and her ex-husband is refusing to give consent for their daughter to come to the States with her Alla. I even met with him, with a translator and he wanted to get drunk with me, I spent 2 hours answering questions about everything from the food in the US to if there were high-rise buildings where I lived –LOL, while he drank vodka.

My visa service says if the father does not see the child or support the child a judge can allow the child to come. He has seen her twice in 4 months (once so drunk we would not let the child go with him) and not supported her at all. He is just an alcoholic, but it seems to be acceptable in the Ukraine. Alla feels this process could take a long time and she fears, because she is living with her parents (conditions not the best) and is not working, if we try to seek a judge’s order that the Judge would not grant it and possibly give the child to the ex-husband. Then there is contacting an attorney there to attempt this and I have contacted some on line, from the Embassy’s list, but do you really know what you are getting?

Anyone been in my shoes??

Yes, us. And my wifes name is Alla also! There is another member whose names are Phil and Alla (but that is not their member name) and she is from Russia. Anyway

We had a similar situation but the ex-husband/father was way behind in chid support. We offered to release himn from all present past and future child support ir return for his signature releasing Alla to relocate the children to the USA permanently

It was done by an attorney and filed with the courts and we had a signing party, This took some time, a couple of months and we DID NOT FILE the petition until we had it in our hands.

You will NEED to have this letter OR a court order of sole custody. Your visa service is wrong as it regards Ukraine, their idea of abandonment is not the same as ours. It will be VERY difficult to get a court order of sole custody. Bribery works and bribery is pretty cheap in Ukraine. BUY his signature.

[eekee 182]

if he is that drunk, can't you get him to sign it off?

I think he is trying to get you to buy him off.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I would threaten to dump the kid onto him without support if he doesn't sign the papers

This has worked in some cases. Alla is not a bluffer, she is a straight shooter and she would not go for this. But I have heard of this working.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

if he is that drunk, can't you get him to sign it off?

I think he is trying to get you to buy him off.

He is definitely trying to get you to buy him off. Alla's ex had no interest in the boys when they were married or after they separated and later divorced. He thinks, even now, ONLY of getting drunk and trying to get laid by young women...two at a time if possible. But when Alla finds a guy to marry and wants to leave, suddenly he is father of the year, sort of...still drunk though, but when he could stand up he wanted to see the boys.

It came down to, literally..."You get a new life a new husband, you get to move to the USA and be "rich" (of course she is rich, aren't ALL Americans?) so what do I get?" Fortunately with an average income of $300 per month it doesn't take what we consider a lot of money to buy him off.

I would not attempt to bribe any officials and that is illegal. On the other hand, it is perfectly legal to pay him for his signature. A bribe for speedier service on a document is one thing, trying to buy off a judge for a document for a child to leave is quite another.

Make SURE the letter (have a Ukrainian attorney write it) says that it is for PERMANENT relocation to the United States and that the letter is valid until the children reach an age where it is no longer needed (currently 16) and that it is valid for ALL future travel out of Ukraine. You will need it EACH time you visit. Our youngest son just turned 16 ths year and they did not ask for it when we left this summer, they DID last year

Ukraine is strict about this and we actually had him sign several letters, for the USA and permission letters to visit Russia, Turkey and EU countries.

If you relieve him of child support, and this can be done by mutual consent, have the attorney write that up also and file it with the court. We then had a meeting and Alla and her ex signed the papers together at the attorneys office. We paid the attorney $100 US for all this.

He has virtually no contact with the boys but he will ask to see them when we visit. That usually lasts about 2 hours before he falls asleep or whatever girl he is banging at the time comes over and he needs to spend time with her

I NEVER discuss him in any way, good or bad. He is, in my mind, non-existant, and in practice this is also true.

Edited September 20, 2011 by Gary and Alla

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

PS IF the child is over 16 it is not needed and if the birth certificate does not list hom as the father, it is not needed. Ukraine has another document if there is "no father" that she can get, but only if the father is not on the bith certificate or the mother "created" the name of the father (they do that sometimes, really) and signs an affidavit to that effect at ZAGS. She will know what the document is.

[1HappyGuy 45]

I have heard that bribery works pretty well, but don't only think money. Maybe you can start with a case of vodka and see how that works. But, he only gets it after he has signed the documents and they have been witnessed and made legal. In this case, that might be a better bribe.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I have heard that bribery works pretty well, but don't only think money. Maybe you can start with a case of vodka and see how that works. But, he only gets it after he has signed the documents and they have been witnessed and made legal. In this case, that might be a better bribe.

Bribery in Ukraine is pretty cheap. Start the bidding low.

In our case, we actually bribed him with something we did not have...child support. He wasn't paying it anyway.

Edited September 21, 2011 by Gary and Alla

[miro99 0]

tell me what city she is from and I might know some people who can help persuade him to sign. just send me a P.M.

I have the same problem with my wife's ex in Sevastopol. Do you think you can help?