Ex-husband consent for child—in Ukraine

[Phil & Alla 26]

I am hoping someone has some advice. Alla has a 10 year old daughter and her ex-husband is refusing to give consent for their daughter to come to the States with her Alla. I even met with him, with a translator and he wanted to get drunk with me, I spent 2 hours answering questions about everything from the food in the US to if there were high-rise buildings where I lived –LOL, while he drank vodka.

My visa service says if the father does not see the child or support the child a judge can allow the child to come. He has seen her twice in 4 months (once so drunk we would not let the child go with him) and not supported her at all. He is just an alcoholic, but it seems to be acceptable in the Ukraine. Alla feels this process could take a long time and she fears, because she is living with her parents (conditions not the best) and is not working, if we try to seek a judge’s order that the Judge would not grant it and possibly give the child to the ex-husband. Then there is contacting an attorney there to attempt this and I have contacted some on line, from the Embassy’s list, but do you really know what you are getting?

Anyone been in my shoes??

[az110965 252]

I have a friend who was in your shoes, but in a different oountry. Like you, he tried to reason with the father of the child (who had NO interaction with his daughter at all - had not seen her in over a year).

Obtaining a lawyer is one option, but it is not a quick and easy situation to get a judge to revoke parental rights (at least in Central America). After consulting with 2 lawyers, their advice was the same and he followed it with success: He met with the father 1 last time with a pocket full of 10,000 Colognes notes... He had a letter prepared in advance by a notoria (lawyer)for the father to sign. They met in person a second time and eventually negotiated to the amount of about $2,000 US$ for the father to give his permission in writing for his fiance's daughter to PERMANENTLY immigrate to the USA.

I am not condoning trying to bribe a parent to relinquish their parental rights but in my friend's case it did work.

I hope all works out for the best for you and your family.

[payxibka 10,045]

We initially had that problem and contemplated several paths... One is to offer him full forgiveness of any unpaid or future support obligations for the child, in exchange for his signature. Another, is to tell him that if he allows it, the daughter could petition for him to come to the USA when she turned 21. For us, that was the sweet spot. My son's father wants so badly to come to the USA that simply the thought of the potential was enough to get him to sign.

You gotta get creative and find that sweet spot. If all else fails... you could try some sort of monetary consideration..

[Ning 619]

I am hoping someone has some advice. Alla has a 10 year old daughter and her ex-husband is refusing to give consent for their daughter to come to the States with her Alla. I even met with him, with a translator and he wanted to get drunk with me, I spent 2 hours answering questions about everything from the food in the US to if there were high-rise buildings where I lived –LOL, while he drank vodka.

My visa service says if the father does not see the child or support the child a judge can allow the child to come. He has seen her twice in 4 months (once so drunk we would not let the child go with him) and not supported her at all. He is just an alcoholic, but it seems to be acceptable in the Ukraine. Alla feels this process could take a long time and she fears, because she is living with her parents (conditions not the best) and is not working, if we try to seek a judge’s order that the Judge would not grant it and possibly give the child to the ex-husband. Then there is contacting an attorney there to attempt this and I have contacted some on line, from the Embassy’s list, but do you really know what you are getting?

Anyone been in my shoes??

What does the embassy require to issue a visa to the child? I know in some countries the embassy demands a letter signed by the father & in some cases also requires him to come in to be interviewed.

In Thailand for example the embassy recently rejected a court order. They said nothing would be accepted other than the signature of the father.

I hope this isnt the case for you because this may be very difficult to obtain. Especially from the bottom of a Vodka bottle.

We initially had that problem and contemplated several paths... One is to offer him full forgiveness of any unpaid or future support obligations for the child, in exchange for his signature. Another, is to tell him that if he allows it, the daughter could petition for him to come to the USA when she turned 21. For us, that was the sweet spot. My son's father wants so badly to come to the USA that simply the thought of the potential was enough to get him to sign.

You gotta get creative and find that sweet spot. If all else fails... you could try some sort of monetary consideration..

What was required for him to sign? Was there also a court order?

[Phil & Alla 26]

We initially had that problem and contemplated several paths... One is to offer him full forgiveness of any unpaid or future support obligations for the child, in exchange for his signature. Another, is to tell him that if he allows it, the daughter could petition for him to come to the USA when she turned 21. For us, that was the sweet spot. My son's father wants so badly to come to the USA that simply the thought of the potential was enough to get him to sign.

You gotta get creative and find that sweet spot. If all else fails... you could try some sort of monetary consideration..

Here is probably the biggest problem is I am dealing with someone who cannot stay sober log enough to make a decision and changes his mind at each step of the way, first he just wanted to meet me, then before the meeting he changed his mind about different things several times, He wanted to know about me, so before I met with him I made a packet with many documents, newspaper articles, my business car and website of my business and even my resume (Russian and English) I was in law enforcement for 24 years—nothing to hide. Each time he says he wants something we supply it or tell him and he agrees one minute and not the next. The last he agreed to was to let her go for one year and wanted it in writing, well we know it has to be for PERMINAT residency, so that was useless and he went back on it anyway. His friends, relatives and even his own mother have tried to convince him to let his daughter go, with no success. If I was not dealing with an alcoholic, I am very good with, reason, logic and even cash, but it seems like finding someone that is ex-KGB might be the best soulition--LOL

[Phil & Alla 26]

What does the embassy require to issue a visa to the child? I know in some countries the embassy demands a letter signed by the father & in some cases also requires him to come in to be interviewed.

In Thailand for example the embassy recently rejected a court order. They said nothing would be accepted other than the signature of the father.

I hope this isnt the case for you because this may be very difficult to obtain. Especially from the bottom of a Vodka bottle.

What was required for him to sign? Was there also a court order?

The Ukraine Embassy requires a Notarized statement from an absent parent + copy of the photo page of the passport

[StvM 1]

I am hoping someone has some advice. Alla has a 10 year old daughter and her ex-husband is refusing to give consent for their daughter to come to the States with her Alla. I even met with him, with a translator and he wanted to get drunk with me, I spent 2 hours answering questions about everything from the food in the US to if there were high-rise buildings where I lived –LOL, while he drank vodka.

My visa service says if the father does not see the child or support the child a judge can allow the child to come. He has seen her twice in 4 months (once so drunk we would not let the child go with him) and not supported her at all. He is just an alcoholic, but it seems to be acceptable in the Ukraine. Alla feels this process could take a long time and she fears, because she is living with her parents (conditions not the best) and is not working, if we try to seek a judge’s order that the Judge would not grant it and possibly give the child to the ex-husband. Then there is contacting an attorney there to attempt this and I have contacted some on line, from the Embassy’s list, but do you really know what you are getting?

Anyone been in my shoes??

Sorry about your situation, but it is extremely unlikely that judge would issue such order.

Even if judge does - father can appeal, and all together would take years. Better just to ask him straight - what he wants?

Obviously not to keep his family in Ukraine. So, there must be something else.

Also, there is different route...

Since you having problem with father anyway, and considering court order, but in the same time worrying about possibility of court giving child to ex-husband (based on her mother not working, living with parents, etc. as I understand ? ) why not to get married in Ukraine? Then you'll be able to petition for wife and step-daughter, and also situation with her mother not working will be irrelevant, once you can show that you support family. Looks much better this way, if you have to go to court. Child would have stepfather, who sees her more often than father, can support her contrary to father….

That, of course, if everything else fails in getting permission from father.

Edited September 18, 2011 by StvM

[Ning 619]

The Ukraine Embassy requires a Notarized statement from an absent parent + copy of the photo page of the passport

This is the same as I have seen at the other countries. In case I was helping with from Thailand the embassy rejected the Thai court order twice. The last time was just last week. In that case the mother searched for the father for 4 months but couldnt find him. The embassy said they can not allow the children to be issued a visa if the father has not signed no matter what any court order said.

I doubt money would be a good idea because it will only serve to increase the volume of Vodka. However the idea the other member had of offering a future assist into the USA may appeal to even a wino. To me the future would be a long way away but what ever it took to convince them to sign.

This is a very difficult seemingly impossible situation for you. I hope very much there is a way to have what you want & especially what we all know is best for the child.

[tom&tanya 48]

Anything can be accomplished in Ukraine with the correct amount of cash ... you just need to know what that amount is.

[Phil & Alla 26]

Anything can be accomplished in Ukraine with the correct amount of cash ... you just need to know what that amount is.

[Phil & Alla 26]

I agree and know the system is corrupt, but getting the cash to the right place to accomplish what I need to do –is the big question --- hoping someone might know

[payxibka 10,045]

I agree and know the system is corrupt, but getting the cash to the right place to accomplish what I need to do –is the big question --- hoping someone might know

what city is she from?

[Penguin_ie 5,993]

***** Moved from K1 to RUB forum as OP needs country specific answers *****

[easyukraine 1]

tell me what city she is from and I might know some people who can help persuade him to sign. just send me a P.M.

[Phil & Alla 26]

tell me what city she is from and I might know some people who can help persuade him to sign. just send me a P.M.

Not sure what a PM is, but my email is listed