Have I been used?/Is she using me?

[Fandango 1,439]

I hate to be so blunt but Stevie Wonder can see she's using you.

What do you enjoy from your marriage, exactly?

[rlogan 2,036]

And even WORSE,is that I work for a lawyer and have 7 years+ experience in immigration law as a paralegal and well,..soooo caught up in her, that I crashed the LSAT exam as well (my own fault) Because I myself see this every single day where I work at.

Average Paralegal I salary in the USA is $48K a year. The bottom 10% are making about $34K and the top 10% are making $60K. With over 7 years experience we should be talking a higher position than Paralegal I:

Paralegal I Salary ranges

This does not square with needing a sponsor. For two years you have been married to her, but cannot produce income 125% of poverty line, which all employed paralegal people seem to be doing - and you say you are presently working "every single day"?

Even half-time work at the median salary is $24K. Here are the 125% Poverty thresholds for immigration on average, with rounding:

One person household = $14K

Two Person = $18K

Three Person = $21K

Even half-time work at Paralegal I median salary puts you well above the immigration requirements. We are not getting a straight story.

You also don't have a sponsor until their signature is on the immigration form. If you had a real sponsor instead of the imaginary kind, the immigration application would already have been submitted and processed. Someone cannot "come to you" as you have put it and revoke a sponsorship that doesn't exist. This is an immigration law forum, and relationship advice is secondary to matters of law. You aren't entitled to magical thinking.

The seven years of professional immigration law experience and the failure to grasp the 125% poverty threshold income requirement doesn't square with reason. Who knows what the truth is.

[Gus&Cole 4]

I think you dont sawmy post.. if she is from Mexico city and you married in Mexico city you can file for a divorce express its really easy you dont need her "permission" for do this. I can send you some links if you want or you can find it your self its even lawyers that do the job for you.. i think in a month or 2 you are free

I don't think she is from MX, he said she is from South America.

[Robert&Karen 264]

I thought poverty guidelines were federal.

[MIDUVIL 34]

Hi,

Rlogan you raise some interesting insight.

But I give some credits to haveibeenused because he explained a deep-deep fact about women.

The fact is this woman doesn't do any efforts, nothing...she is not the traditional scammer who went to enter in the us, and said everytime "I love you" or "you are very important for me like my eyes" (thank you wordreference).

Nothing, any effort, doesn't show any interest...she is pretty sincere with her scam- she doesn't love you, she doesn't like you.

You invited her to cancum, she didn't seem to be interested- she doesn't even seem to be interested by your money- if not she will ask a little more, knowing what you are able to do for her.

The only thing that she seems to be interested in to enter the country, quickly, and all the inconvenience that she has to suffer seems to bother her above all.

She doesn't even call you... a "true" scammer will you call to convince you about his/her love. She doesn't even bother herself to do that, neither bother herself to dance with you for your wedding, nor bother herself to be interest by where your plane will landed to come and pick you.

She is pretty clear, she doesn't want to hear about you- it's harsh but it's the reality.

But she did that even during the wedding, even then she didn't bother herself...

I keep my mind on this one, this woman loves deeply somebody else. She doesn't have children so it can't be because she wants a better future for them. It doesn't seeem to be for money, she will be more greedy or more interested.

She is doing thing like she is forced to do it, and she doesn't like to do it, it's pretty clear.

So somebody is behind that telling her to do it.

The bottom line is she loves him, that explain why she is doing that, because of love.

Not love for you, you seems more to be this one who are putting yourself in what she wants (being with this person).

If she wanted to do it she will pretend, but she doesn't want to do it. So she has this attitude.

She is pretty clear, not sincere but clear, she doesn't love you. He asked her to do something, she is doing it (in bad faith) it's all.

I don't even see the typical scammer. Poor girl.

Talk to her...

[Ironman140 45]

JMO but this thread started on the 16 and OP has been told from the start he's being used. If he can't understand that by this time. He's the one acting and having fun taking the board for a ride.

JMO from street level

you seriously have issues.

posting here means you give people the right to comment and state their opinion which they are entitled to,so guess what,if you cant take the heat get out of kitchen.

yes you are blind,yes you are stupid,yes you are dumb,open your eyes and SEE your issues for once

[Ban Hammer 13,283]

one post containing personal attacks removed, along with one quoting.

cease with the name calling immediately.

[keka 1]

I don't think she is from MX, he said she is from South America.

He say she is from Mexico , but i dont know if she is from Mexico city

[morocco4ever 63]

I just unfortunately got unlucky. And yes, I truly do/did love her. To me, she was my everything,...but I guess to her, I was just some form of economic benefit.

I don't believe you love her, I believe you love who you thought she was.

A few have mentioned that you should "test" her. Why?? She hasn't passed any of the "tests" so far, so why bother?

This creature doesn't deserve a minute of your time. She is evil, and any man that does end up with her is getting one royal Beootch!

BTW, my mom had a stroke while my husband was in Morocco....he spent the entire time on the phone with me that evening until my battery died. I got extremely ill with a high fever while I was there. He never left my side. That is true love, and there is absolutely no reason for you to settle for anything less.

As for suicide....why? Do you really think she would care? Do you really want to hurt her like she has hurt you? Make yourself successful and happy. That would be the ultimate revenge.

Best wishes!

[haveibeenused 1]

I will ignore the post of a particular person above due to ignorance and not knowing the actual personal situation.

Second of all, I did love her for who she was, of course, but she has done what she has done.

And no, she never calls or writes me, or anything. My last ditch effort was Cancun, and that did not go well at all for the simple fact that she treated me like a friend.

And as I myself have told her, she can't be an actress all her days with me because if a relationship can not flow normally, then well, its best to get out of it.

Sad but true, but I will have to pick up the pieces and move on.

BTW,...she entered msn messanger today only for a few minutes to ask me for $1,000 in regards to her trying to apply for her tourist visa, NOTHING about how I was doing,...just that, and then she left.

AND YES, I have been listening to the advice given, and NO I am not taking "the board" for a ride as someone previous has stated.

[Darnell 8,478]

suggest you not respond to her, at all.

File a divorce in your county in usa, let them serve the divorce paperwork to her.

[TBoneTX 45,092]

suggest you not respond to her, at all.

File a divorce in your county in usa, let them serve the divorce paperwork to her.

Good advice, as with everyone else's.

What are you doing for yourself -- hobbies, physical exercise, activities you enjoy, getting together with guy friends?

[Stuart and Thea 95]

Good advice, as with everyone else's.

What are you doing for yourself -- hobbies, physical exercise, activities you enjoy, getting together with guy friends?

Hell, at this point.. add girl friends to that... you need to know that women are not all like her, and that others can and will enjoy your company. I'm not saying have an affair. Get the divorce served first, but for all intents and purposes, you are living as if you're a separated couple, and certainly aren't living like a married couple, even those far from each other.

[rlogan 2,036]

The problem there is even worse with the chronic unemployment. In America, the women are accustomed to a higher standard of living.

No money, no honey.

[limenaluv91 34]

I am so very sorry for this whole ordeal. I suggest you leave. It seems clear that she is in fact using you for her own benefit. You sound like a great guy, and you deserve much better than a girl trying to get papers through you. Marriage is a sacred thing, you don't play with that. She crossed that line and she will pay for it. See yourself for what you're worth. More than a million bucks, my friend. Any true loving girl would die to be with you, and give you the love you deserve back. Get out of this situation as soon as you can. And as far as she goes, well, she won't go far in life.

Edited September 27, 2011 by limenaluv91