Have I been used?/Is she using me?

[MIDUVIL 34]

Hello,

I read some posts.

She doesn't love you and she doesn't even seem to do any attempts for you to know that she "loves" you. What is a little weird.

I think that maybe there are "more behind the scene" as my husband love to tell.

Generally the scammer does efforts until the goal, and when the goal is reach, divorce or whatever...

Women function with emotions.

Why did she marry you? well it's obvious- to enter in the us

Why didn't she do any efforts until her goal????? Mystery

It looks like a scam where maybe a men (that she loves) may be involve). Women can do a lot for men that they love.

I maybe misjudge, but I think that this woman is involved with another man and this man wanst to go to the states.He is using her and she is using you.

That can explain why she doesn't seem to be interested by you, her heart belongs to somebody else.

That can explain some reactions.

You didn't do anything wrong, you did things well- but she doesn't love you neither want to stay some minutes with you.

Edited September 17, 2011 by MIDUVIL

[thelastpetitioner 218]

im still reading the comments on this post,but OP if you bring her,or anyone like her to the states,she is going to use the " i was like this even back home " line to justify her intentions and bitchyness

[thelastpetitioner 218]

i have one more thing to add,she is seeing the bigger picture.you are her own personal ATM machine,sure getting the green card would be nice,but she is trying make a more stable home for herself back home in case something happens.im afraid green card isnt the motive,money is

[Robert&Karen 264]

i have one more thing to add,she is seeing the bigger picture.you are her own personal ATM machine,sure getting the green card would be nice,but she is trying make a more stable home for herself back home in case something happens.im afraid green card isnt the motive,money is

If money is the motive maybe she is doing this to more than one guy?

[thelastpetitioner 218]

If money is the motive maybe she is doing this to more than one guy?

that is possible since she is still in touch with the ex boyfriends and stuff

[haveibeenused 1]

Why did she marry you? well it's obvious- to enter in the us

That can explain why she doesn't seem to be interested by you, her heart belongs to somebody else.

Wouldn't surprise me in the least if her heart belongs to someone else.

We argued A LOT because I told her day after day after day "its pretty hard to be an actress huh!"..I used to tell her that, or I'd tell her "acting isn't for everyone you know".....because just looking at her,and how she treated me, its like she just couldn't keep up the act, no matter how hard she tried, she slip back to how she was because she knew it wasn't for real comming out of her, that it was all just a pure act.

[din15 0]

leave her she took advantage of you already... i pitty her.... ohhh look at her it's not worth it though... im not mean but she's not beautiful hahaha she looks like a LONGKATOT..kahit sana hindi sya maganda bastat maganda ang kalooban pero it turns out na kung GAANO ka pangit ang Muka ganon Din kapangit ang UGALI....

BE A MAN Boy...you still have all the years to find a true Girl with a good attitude and in and out

[Ban Hammer 13,113]

leave her she took advantage of you already... i pitty her.... ohhh look at her it's not worth it though... im not mean but she's not beautiful hahaha she looks like a LONGKATOT..kahit sana hindi sya maganda bastat maganda ang kalooban pero it turns out na kung GAANO ka pangit ang Muka ganon Din kapangit ang UGALI....

BE A MAN Boy...you still have all the years to find a true Girl with a good attitude and in and out

please use english only outside of the regional forums as that's the common language.

[din15 0]

i know your wife is from the Philippines...because of their language on the video.... the girl is not worth it...she's ugly in and out

correct me guys if im wrong....

[keka 1]

i know your wife is from the Philippines...because of their language on the video.... the girl is not worth it...she's ugly in and out

correct me guys if im wrong....

She is not from philiphines...

[Gus&Cole 4]

You are not stupid and you are not dumb. You fell in love with someone who is good at manipulation. You are a perfect person to take advantage of because you are sweet and caring and probably notice the good before the bad. Unfortunately, you are one of those people who are a victim of exactly the reason why we all have to go through this hell of a process to marry our loved ones from other countries. I don't think you need to be asking us what we think, I think you need to ask us the fastest way to report her for fraud and the fastest way to divorce her. How people can play with other people's lives like this? I will never understand. You are not supposed to feel this way in a marriage. This is the reason I would see if there is a way to report her, do you want her to do this to someone else? I for one do not want her in this country if that is the kind of person she is, we already have enough! DO NOT move there, DO NOT give her any more of you. She does not deserve anything you have to give her except divorce papers. PLEASE, let her go and do not let her win. Once she is here, she has won. The sponsor you were supposed to have doesn't even know what's happening and he already had that feeling. Once again, you are not stupid or dumb, but you will be if you stay with her. Don't waste your time or your life any longer. Let us know what happens, this is the perfect place for support.

[din15 0]

how come that the video u've posted here are speaking tagalog though?

[Tahoma 2,291]

=(...Am I THAT BLIND??..am I THAT DUMB?? am I THAT STUPID?? have I been used that easily???

^^^ Yes...yes...yes...and yes!

You need to quit whining about what she's done to you. She hasn't done anything to you that you haven't allowed her to do. It's obvious that she's a scammer, and it's also obvious that you chose to ignore all of the big red flags. You also chose to ignore your friends.

Instead, you need to focus on why you allow yourself to be treated that way. Your idea of love is seriously sick and misguided, so please don't use love to explain away your behavior.

And, as rlogan pointed out, you can't even tell a straight story.

Your path is simple: dump the scammer, get a divorce, and start working on your personal issues.

[Stuart and Thea 95]

Wow, what a sad story you have, and I feel for you, you must be feeling very heartbroken over this. I'm so glad that you've come to the forums to help clear your head.

The question is, are you ready do take the steps you need to take to end it? I think you've already taken the first step, which is deciding to do it, but what about all the others? When are you going to call her? What are you going to say? Are you going to consult a divorce attorney or are you going to do this on your own? Do you have a timeline set up for yourself? (I'm not really asking for you to answer, I'm just giving you the questions that you need to think about in order to get started)

Are you ready to feel relieved?

[rlogan 2,036]

I would also like to add, after much thought of not wanting to add it, but I will share it with everyone to let you's know and help me understand better my situation.....

We have sex (when I'm there) MAYBE ONCE every week to two weeks. And when we do, it lasts five minutes because she tells me "hurry up and finish". Like, we will start, and within 5 minutes, she will say "hurry up, finish already!!!"...

And I feel like I've been used or i'm some sort of prostitute. I feel really bad inside,and my self-esteem goes right down the drain,because that is something very intimate. I become afraid to even want to attempt it again with her out of fear of her saying that again which she usually always does.

When it does happen,she makes sure that it happens in the morning, to avoid doing it at night time with me.

When I leave to come back to the U.S...I know that it will be like 3 months before I will see her next, so the night before I leave, well, I want to make the most of it as possible knowing we wont see each other for a while, and well....it either doesnt happen at all, or it will happen for only 5 minutes and thats it.

And I KNOW what she was like with her ex boyfriends,because she would OPENLY tell me what she used to do with them. And me being her husband, she doesnt do the same+more with me, I feel really bad.

OMG I missed this before. Someone obsessing over sex. Someone has already suggested a likely origin to this tale and this may be an important corroboration. The way it is posed with denial of what is being done. "I don't want to talk about the gory sex details but let me drone on with a minute-by-minute accounting...

how come that the video u've posted here are speaking tagalog though?

Talk about decisive. Good catch din15. I didn't see the video. I'll look some more but verifying this is another smoking gun.

Edited September 18, 2011 by rlogan