wedding plans

[BobnCherry 10]

me and my fiance, happens to talk about wedding plans...well, he wants to get married as soon as i come down on the plane...well, i think that is so sweet of him to say that...i would definitely want to do that...but of course being a woman, i would wish for a nice wedding that is well planned and organized...i did somehow talked it to him but not directly...but he answered me in a way that i felt like our wedding day is like an ordinary day for him...because he wants it so simple...no preparations or anything...and i just dont know how to convince him to have a better preparation on our wedding day...well, i dont intend to be wed several times, so i am thinking of a having a nice one...i think he is worried about the money, expenses to get married so i told him, would u rather want our wedding one month after i come in USA? well, he retaliated then someone called from his office and our conversation hasn't really ended...I want a nice wedding...i want to feel that our wedding day is specially prepared...but it seems he wanted like a drive-thru...what do you think girls? VJ members and friends? am i asking too much? or what? Hope someone responds...any opinion is appreciated...

We are going to do a simple service in the states and try to save for a big to do in the Phils as we all know that trip is expensive!

[Krikit 1,163]

Moving from K-1 Process to General Immigration Discussion.

[Robert&Karen 264]

I called my fiance at lunch to discuss our wedding plans to see what she thinks. I told here I only wanted her to be happy. She said that if we have tons of people she'd run away. All she really wanted since she was 16 was to be married at the exact chapel that we agreed upon. That was at the core, and once she has that everything else is fluff.

My suggestion -- rather than plan 100% of what you want, figure out the 100% of what you need. Church wedding? White dress? Pets? Once you nail down the minimal needs, the rest will not seem so daunting and important. We had a TV show here called BRIDEZILLA. Check out youtube clips for it. You want it to be fun and memorable, so don't stress out if the champagne is from 2004 and not 2003.

[Dan & Jenni 457]

We had a TV show here called BRIDEZILLA.

that show almost put me off wanting to get married haha

[The Nature Boy 4,224]

That's a bit stereotypical and sexist, isn't it? Men are rational, women are sentimental bit.

Maybe a bit stereotypical but you can't deny it's the truth. Can you really argue that weddings are much mored geared to the desires of the bride than the groom.. Women are more emotional than men. No not in every case but in General I don't think any rational person would argue that's not true.

And before you label me a total pig I too would be fine with a JP wedding and be done, but I promised my fiancee a legal wedding here and then when AOS is done, I will fly her home for the wedding with family she has always wanted. Like I said it's all about comprise. respect and love.

[Robert&Karen 264]

Maybe a bit stereotypical but you can't deny it's the truth. Can you really argue that weddings are much mored geared to the desires of the bride than the groom..

Women's dress: $2000+

Men's tux: $50 rental

Women's engagement ring: $LOTS

Men's engagement ring: NONE

Yup, geared to women!

[NY_BX 397]

Maybe a bit stereotypical but you can't deny it's the truth. Can you really argue that weddings are much mored geared to the desires of the bride than the groom.. Women are more emotional than men. No not in every case but in General I don't think any rational person would argue that's not true.

And before you label me a total pig I too would be fine with a JP wedding and be done, but I promised my fiancee a legal wedding here and then when AOS is done, I will fly her home for the wedding with family she has always wanted. Like I said it's all about comprise. respect and love.

I'd hate to burst your bubble, but, my fiancee- a man- is the one wanting the traditional wedding! I hate, yes I said it, hate the idea of traditional, conventional, money wasting ceremonies (be it a wedding, sweet 16, etc). He, however, experienced his sister's wedding and decided he wanted that for himself. So, we had to compromise. He has taken part in EVERY aspect of the wedding plan.

He lives in Egypt; I live in New York. My parents live in Puerto Rico. I've been to Egypt numerous times; he hasn't been on an airplane. So, since we would have a beach honeymoon anyways, we decided to have a beach reception in Puerto Rico. We'll marry here in NYC, in a yacht before lunch; jeans and t-shirt. In PR we'll have a blessing on the sand and then a private party. Nothing grand, but absolutely beautiful. We both compromised; that's the key. From the favors to the centerpieces to a daiquiri station and our chocolate mousse wedding 'cake,' we've talked about everything. And yes, we've talked about budget. Let me tell you guys not $10K, yet. The hotel (catering, venue, tables and chairs, and alcohol) is $4,600 for 60 people. To that add the centerpieces, favors, invitations, our clothes, rings, chocolate mouse, and other miscellaneous: $1,200. So for now, all we've spent is less than $6,000. Yes, we must purchase our plane tickets to PR, but that won't be more than $800 and our hotel stay will be another $500. My brother is a photographer and since I work in entertainment, 2 musical artists will play as a wedding gift (a reggae band and a DJ). So, our $10K wedding includes everthing, for now.

I suggest, for trips, ask for friends and family to donate 'miles.' Or you can ask for 'points' to purchase wedding related items.

[NY_BX 397]

Women's dress: $2000+

Men's tux: $50 rental

Women's engagement ring: $LOTS

Men's engagement ring: NONE

Yup, geared to women!

True, but that's capitalism targeting women's emotions to spend unnecessarily. Everyone- including my sisters and mom- are surprised I'm not wearing a veil. They said 'a wedding is all about the bride's dress and the cake.' I was mortified- to say the least- when I heard that. A wedding is NEVER about that, or at least it should never be about that.

My wedding dress: $117.

His tux: $99.

Engagement ring: $107, each. Yes, he is wearing one.

[NY_BX 397]

True, but that's capitalism targeting women's emotions to spend unnecessarily. Everyone- including my sisters and mom- are surprised I'm not wearing a veil. They said 'a wedding is all about the bride's dress and the cake.' I was mortified- to say the least- when I heard that. A wedding is NEVER about that, or at least it should never be about that.

My wedding dress: $117.

His tux: $99.

Engagement ring: $107, each. Yes, he is wearing one.

Oh, and by the way we are BOTH taking each others' last names. Very progressive.

[ateneaalexander 10]

that show almost put me off wanting to get married haha

hahahaha that show its crazy lol i called my now husband groomzilla he was the one telling ppl what to do and where to go haha

[ateneaalexander 10]

me and my husband didnt plan the wedding untill i got to the states! we got married 3 days after i moved to the states at the court then last saturday got a beautiful ceremony at the beach with family and friends, i also i didnt buy my wedding dress until one day before the wedding .

I decided to keep it simple and turn out great! planning a big wedding can be stressful for both.

[JSVP08 3]

i understand ur sentiments .... but reality check is a must nowadays (wedding cost vs after the wedding life )

... for us, we really cant come up with what we want ...so on the last 2 wks of the 90 days we just ran to the county with 1 witness. nothing fancy.

today, i didnt have a grand wedding but definitely a grand marriage. (a sorta wedding-family dinner is in order when we visit home)

stay in love

[NY_BX 397]

me and my husband didnt plan the wedding untill i got to the states! we got married 3 days after i moved to the states at the court then last saturday got a beautiful ceremony at the beach with family and friends, i also i didnt buy my wedding dress until one day before the wedding .

I decided to keep it simple and turn out great! planning a big wedding can be stressful for both.

I admire you. That's exactly what I personally wanted. Good for you and congratulations!

[JoannaV 174]

Just talk talk talk to each other about it. Talk about what you need and what you want. Talk about compromises you both may have to make. Depending on what you both feel you need there may be compromises necessary. For example if you need big wedding then you may have to compromise and have two weddings, if the big wedding can't be planned within the 90 days.

In our case, it was my husband who had the dreams. I'm more about the marriage. I enjoy other people's grand weddings, but to me the important thing is God joining man and wife. I definitely would NOT want to be some huge centre of attention. We didn't do a K1, but our wedding planning was probably a lot simpler than most K1 visa applicants'. Plus we had less time to prepare because we didn't have the whole time whilst waiting for our visa to think about it, we had a short engagement. My husband went and spent lots of money to get his military dress uniform a few months before the wedding. I went to David's Bridal two weeks before the wedding and picked out one of the cheapest dresses. (Lovely dress though!) Had to pay for alterations lol. Our wedding rings cost about the same. I do have an expensive (but paid for) engagement ring. But that was totally his decision not mine and sometimes I get mad about it when we need to pay to fix stuff around the house We had a church wedding, maybe 13 people, just his closest family and friends. No bridal party. We had to pay for the marriage licence. The church didn't charge us because it was such a small wedding, but we did give them some money anyway. We didn't plan a reception or anything but my mother-in-law arranged some food and cake and champagne back at her house.

You can do a big wedding with a minimum of money and bother too. Other than inviting people and figuring out a location, you don't need to do much. If you have friends/family you want to come from the Philippines that is the hard part. But otherwise give people a little notice and it's up to them to come or not. Unlike in the UK, the US generally allow you to get married pretty much anywhere. You just need someone to officiate. So it needn't be an expensive venue. As for food and entertainment and flowers and whatever people do, if you're having a big wedding then you expect people to bring gifts. So why not tell them to forget the gifts and instead provide food or help pay for the entertainment?

Anyway, talk talk talk with your fiance. You both need to understand exactly what each other wants, and why. With a K1 I can understand wanting to marry immediately. But waiting 3 or 4 weeks should be ok too, and not affect too much. Maybe if someone's worried about health insurance they need to make sure their fiance has some kind of short-term coverage whilst waiting to marry. But other than that...you should be able to figure out some way to give both of you exactly what you want.

[dap 5]

I am actually a female and bringing my fiance, he wants to do all of the traditional things. Get counseled by the pastor, plan a wedding, etc... I just want to get married and be done with it. I don't want a big wedding or anything.