I cannot stand my crazy wife, Need tips in sending her back

[rlogan 2,036]

Well,

I was an idiot and married this girl from Argentina that is very attractive, or was. I guess I went by looks instead of dating her more to see all her defects.

Beauty is as beauty does.

Anyway we got married and had a baby by accident.

The child's welfare supercedes your own.

even paid a lot of money to get her help which she didn't like going to.

I think people are discounting that you have tried professional counseling. But it didn't work, so...

Here is the issue I never reported taxes bc i go to school, still am, and my parents signed the i864a, i think that is the name, without knowing they were responsible for this nut case for 10 years. I am also responsible.

Everyone potentially affected has to know honestly and openly what is going on.

Plus, I don’t want to take any chances, so please give feedback on how to perfect my plan, and where i am making mistakes. Thank you

Your plan can't be nefarious. Look into your state laws on dissolution or divorce. See if you can do this cooperatively. Just own up to the child and move on without the crazy woman. It may be child support, it may be her living with you, I don't know your situation. But the child's welfare is first.

Some talk about the culture of jealousy in some of these regional models. Well sure, they lie too. You don't marry those ones. Who cares what their culture is. Some cultures practiced cannibalism and child rape/incest. That doesn't make it right.

[Rainbow Medallion 2]

Well if I put a quarter in a soda machine and a soda comes out, does it belong to me or the machine?

That is not the point of my question to him. The mother does deserve rights on that child whether you like it or not. You have no idea what the motives of this OP are so what you just said was ridiculous.

[YozhikandBulochka 3]

I think that he probably took a couple peeks at the girls walking by and he was caught red handed and ever since that day she wont let him hear the end of it. These issues unfortunately no matter how you figure it dont magically come out of nowhere. Something triggered it. I say man up for the sake of your daughter and your marriage. Find out what caused the situation and if it was your fault man up and admit you were wrong. Most women are forgiving if you are genuine about your apology. but you have to realize that it isnt something that is going to be fixed overnight. your marriage is an everyday job that requires your full attention and lots of hard work. After all this i feel you find that your crazy latin wife isnt so bad in the end. AND If you still find yourself in the same position after all of this. THEN its time to find a DIPLOMATIC solution in which both parties think of the welfare of the daughter in question cause at the end of the day when you decided to not use protection and bring this child into the world you threw out all of your liberties for this big responsibility. Last thing you want on your conscience is the ever lasting effect that your daughter will have if you walk out on her or remove her mother from her life. so think long and think hard before making any decision that will effect you, your marriage, and your daughter. I wish you the best of luck in this matter and Im sure you will make sound and just decisions. ()b

[Tim/Mav 305]

Say what you will, but pulling out is better than giving a full sperm blast inside, no? Anything can happen, and kids happen. Why don't you just tell the OP not to have sex?

No, I think its alittle to late for that. This is not Planned Parenthood and the parties will never make it unless they can find resolve. And as far as having sex there is a responsible way to engage in the activity. Intercourse is going to lead to children. HOW DID YOU GET ON THIS EARTH. I don't care if they had Sex or not and do not care about the particulars. Who Gives a #######!. But now, they have a little one in their BS. Thank God this child is so young so she does'nt understand the details. But, this infant will grow up and have questions. So as a parent, I disagree with you. The parents were not capable of their own relationship and adding a baby. Additionally, they have trust issues. Thats not a Marridge and I'm not a Marridge Cousular. I suggest to the OP to ask his wife if she would consider outside help before ending this and hating eachother and involving that child. Their Sex life does not concern me. But, there are diapers to be changed and a child to raise if they give a Dam. If there relationship is Shot to Hell then thats sad. Children are pretty smart and learn fast.

[amerisian 5]

All I can say is go to a marriage counselor and fix your marriage since you have a child. Nothing will happen to every relationship if always relying on divorce, divorce, divorce. Nothing will happen to both of you if after fighting , arguing, blah, blah, blah and problem in marriage is to give up and think about divorce. There's no issue that can't be resolve. You need to talk to your wife deeply and sincerely if you truly love each other. I admit that I have some issues as well brought by my childhood experiences. But my life is an open book to my husband so he will understand me and will not ride on my tantrums and issues. Like he leaves me for a while and gives me a break if I turn crazy...And everything will be fine afterwards...But we talk about it - our weaknesses and strength so we will know where we stand every time it will happen. ..But cleaning the house is not my issue at all..as it is a mere responsible of a wife....Why not give another chance for both of you for the sake of your child? Talk about it and prove to her that you love her and nothing to jealous about. I hope you will be fine and will not ending with a divorce...If you will divorce her, and remarry again..what if you will marry again an another woman that has another issue? Divorce again? Sounds not good. Work on it..its part of your marriage life. Time to go for the next level to the maturity of your marriage.

God bless.

[YozhikandBulochka 3]

All I can say is go to a marriage counselor and fix your marriage since you have a child. Nothing will happen to every relationship if always relying on divorce, divorce, divorce. Nothing will happen to both of you if after fighting , arguing, blah, blah, blah and problem in marriage is to give up and think about divorce. There's no issue that can't be resolve. You need to talk to your wife deeply and sincerely if you truly love each other. I admit that I have some issues as well brought by my childhood experiences. But my life is an open book to my husband so he will understand me and will not ride on my tantrums and issues. Like he leaves me for a while and gives me a break if I turn crazy...And everything will be fine afterwards...But we talk about it - our weaknesses and strength so we will know where we stand every time it will happen. ..But cleaning the house is not my issue at all..as it is a mere responsible of a wife....Why not give another chance for both of you for the sake of your child? Talk about it and prove to her that you love her and nothing to jealous about. I hope you will be fine and will not ending with a divorce...If you will divorce her, and remarry again..what if you will marry again an another woman that has another issue? Divorce again? Sounds not good. Work on it..its part of your marriage life. Time to go for the next level to the maturity of your marriage.

God bless.

Two thumbs up to this post.

[rlogan 2,036]

The OP says he paid for counseling already and she refused to continue with it.

[Nero 17]

I really hope you are a troll and are just saying these things to get people angry and starting a "hot topic" thread.

If not - MAN UP PRINCESS. You married a woman. You made a baby with this woman. Whether you like it or not you are responsible. If it's your choice divorce her, but don't think that you can't "get around" having to pay child and / or spousal support just because you have some hair-brained scheme to dump her in Argentina. She's not a pair of shoes you bought at Walmart that didn't fit right. No matter how angry you are at her you can't have her removed from the country for revenge. Infact threatening to do so constitutes abuse and she could leave you today and file for her 10 year on her own if you've been threatening to get her removed from the country.

If she has admitted she married you for the GC and you can PROVE it somehow - maybe something can be done - I really don't know, but I beleive the burden of proving it would be on you. I would stop and think as well - is this really what you want, or are you just hurt and angry and trying to find a way to hurt her as well.

[James P 0]

Wow, you guys are clueless. To start off I already know how Latinas are.... I am half Argentinian and had many gf from South America and relatives, so I am sure they are not this crazy. I would ask all Latinos here if their wife causes a big fight if you watch a pg-13 movie or commercial. Or being scared or not wanting to go out bc your wife is a nut case and will accuse you of cheating.

Like I said, I have already paid a lot of money to help her with therapy. SO most of the things you guys are advising me to do, have already been done. I can't stress enough over the forums how hard i have tried.

That being said, the issue is all the threats and ups and downs in her behavior. I want custody of my daughter because she is a very irresponsible mother. I have tor remind her to feed the baby bc she spends all day on facebook, I have to work and then heat up my own food and watch the baby, & if I tell her to do anything she curses and says to do it myself, when she’s on the computer all day.

Bottom line is that she is very ungrateful and the way she threats her daughter and me is enough. I have never thought i would be planning something like this, but i have been pushed to the limit and there is no way I am playing this the legal way with this woman. I am not risking losing my daughter to this good for nothing mother, paying her child support when she will spend it all on herself, or let her ruin my parents who signed that form to help me out.

I am not planning to screw her, but more just to things in their place. She has many times given up our daughter in fight, telling me she doesn't want her and for me to keep her. She said many times that she wants to be alone and our baby will only be a burden for her when she starts working. So, why should i keep helping her when she is ungrateful and just wants to do what is more convenient for her.

I want for GC to expire, take her to Argentina and let her do the usual fighting and just break up, I will get custody of my daughter, which she probably happily give, and then forget about her. If she wants to stay with my daughter, I will make sure my daughter always has what she needs.

[Little_My 464]

Forget about the GC issue. That is not the most relevant and pressing part of this unfortunate - albeit self-created - mess you are in.

You have a child. You have a small, helpless child, who 100% depends on his/hers parents, no matter how immature,absent,unfit or otherwise non-ideal they might be. Whether or not the pregnancy was an accident originally, you chose to bring that child into this world. No woman is (almost ever) forced to HAVE a child. There are always other options. Abortion is a hot potato and not relevant to this thread, but it still was an option. If that goes against your personal beliefs, then you have adoption. No one (at least almost no one) is forced to become a parent. You chose to, together - and now the responsibility is on you to act responsibly towards the child you created, brought into this world and kept.

I never think it is a good idea for a couple who are not in love and not getting along to stay together just for the sake of children. It never works out well, for anyone involved. If the situation is as bad as you say it is, then for the love of god just divorce the woman. Stop thinking about "taking her to Argentina and leaving her there", or "taking my child with me". The more you break the rules and laws, the deeper s*** you will get yourself in - and unfortunately, that pile of cr** will not be on you alone, it will be on your child. What happens to him/her, when daddy gets thrown in jail for child abduction? Or for bribing government officials? I am well versed with Latin America as well, and fully know that Argentina is no rogue poor developign country where you can just pay your way through situations like this without any consequences. It will come and bite you in the ####, and then the biggest consequences will fall on your child.

Your family signed the affidavit of support - as said by previous posters, there is no way out of that. You can divorce your wife and not participate in removing her conditions, she can try to do that on her own if she wants. If she is as unitnerested in your child as you say she is, you should have no trouble getting custody, as she is unlikely to fight it. Do this the right way. File for a legal divorce, file for a legal custody of your child, and let her do whatever she wants with her own life.

I know you are trying to figure out the best way out of a really shitty situation, but what you are planning now is not the way to go. If you go ahead with this plan of yours, it will most likely end in you losing custody of your child permanently because of all the laws you broke, and she suing you for all you have and a bit more. Not a rosy scenario either, is it?

Your child needs at least one decent parent who knows how to do the right thing, act like an adult and take responsibility, even when it's hard. If she cannot be that parent, then you Have to be. You're a grown up, you can bounce back from situations like this. Your child might not be able to do that.

Edited September 14, 2011 by Little_My

[Boiler 45,945]

Have you spoken to a Divorce Lawyer?

You are also confusing expiry of the card with status.

[VadnVince 24]

Wow, really??? You're coming on here asking us how to dump your wife off in her country...and to kidnap your child???? Oh...and you want to "pay off" a judge. You sound like great husband and father material.

LOL!!! I agree with the above!!! Your M.O. sounds like you're getting what you asked for. The relationship appears to have been quite shallow from the beginning and the immigration process was a scheme on both ends. You even want to scheme to get out. I feel sorry for the innocent child brought into this mess.

Edited September 14, 2011 by VadnVince

[Deema & Wayne 28]

Well,

I was an idiot and married this girl from Argentina that is very attractive, or was. I guess I went by looks instead of dating her more to see all her defects. Anyway we got married and had a baby by accident.

Since the first day i noticed that she has issues. She would get extremely jealous or controlling over everything. Few examples, if there was pretty girl on tv or commercial she would accuse me of being a cheater and want to separate me for no reason. On the streets if a pretty girl went past me she would accuse me of staring at her breast or behind ect.. She would argue and fight with me over everything and be so close minded. Before i go any further, she told me that her ex, whom she never married but has a 13 year old with, cheated on her several times.....

Anyway After many many many fights and stress she put on me I tried to work things out. Talked to her man times, showed her love, even paid a lot of money to get her help which she didn't like going to. Anyway things got worse, she thinks I cheat with girls at work who she has never met, she acts like a kid and when i try to reason with her she leaves the house saying she is leaving me because am everything in the dictionry. I have to go after her and make her reason, knowing we will have this fight even more.

She has already stated she doesn't love me, she regrets getting with me, having my kid, and never wanted to have my kid. Which just tells me she got with me for papers for her and daughter, and the baby was just something by mistake. She never cleans, i come back from work tired and she sleeps all day and surf the internet, and tells me to watch the baby. If i try to tell her that she should be doing it, she throws a fit and calls me a cheater and ignores even her own daughter and wont do anything.

That’s just a little taste of my life with her. Anyway, several times she has made it obvious and has used indirect words letting me know she is only with me until the two years are up. And always threatens to ruin my life when she accuses me of cheating ec..... Here is the issue I never reported taxes bc i go to school, still am, and my parents signed the i864a, i think that is the name, without knowing they were responsible for this nut case for 10 years. I am also responsible.

So I am enduring all this abuse and stress in my life until her conditional gc expires, which she knows does. I have made her believe, which is in part true, that i want to re-do her papers and terminate the current one. I explained that i don’t want to file with my parents and that it would only take one month and that she would need to return to Argentina for one month. She has agreed, in some ways, but during fights tells me she is leaving and does not care about my parents ect...

Anyway, I plan to take her to her country in 7 months and leave her there for a few months, and i know i won’t have to ends things. Knowing how she is, she will fight about something and this time i will not put up with it. I also plan to divorce her in her county after this and get my daughter and move on.

I know many here want to give a lot of lectures or say “go see a lawyer or let her be and do it legally”, but you are not in my shoe. Plus, I don’t want to take any chances, so please give feedback on how to perfect my plan, and where i am making mistakes. Thank you

So...that being said, why is she even married to you?? You tried therapy, you tried to turn things around, and if she is a nut job like you say she is, do things legally, if you don't want to divorce, how about separating for a while? See if you miss each other, if things cool down..you're always around each other right now, things are heated and won't get better. Once you take some time apart, you'll either feel relieved or miss each other. I suggest you make your decision after you try that, but whatever your decision is going to be, do it legally for your own sake and your child's sake. Bad mother or not, the child needs his mother and it's not your call to deprive him of that.

[keysjangle 145]

Maybe she has underlying psychological problems?

[NoneYa 73]

Divorce and move on rather than craft some pathetic plan.

I agree with this plan. Always take the high road in a situation like this. You can't escape your responsibilities that you have signed for. You will have to pay and sometimes even more by

taking the high road. I would be sweet as pie to her, divorce her if you guys fight all the time but remember there is a child involved and if the child sees you fight, they will be the biggest

looser in this battle. Be reasonable, even if your wife is not.