Help - Child of Fiance

[jluke257 0]

Hello,

My Fiance and I got all our paperwork together and filed the petition for her K1 Visa. I sent the fedex just Saturday to Texas. She was previously married. She has been divorced for 3 years and has a beautiful 4 year old son. Her ex husband has not seen his child in 2 years. She had made an agreement with her ex husband such that she would remove her child's name from the registration of his flat and stop child support if he would sign the paperwork so that her son could leave with her for America. She went to the passport office yesterday to apply for international passports for her and her son. The people at the office said that her son could not receive a passport because her ex had signed a piece of paper saying that he cannot leave the country. We are both very sad and don't know what we can do now. Her ex is claiming that he will sign the necessary paperwork if she will remove her son's name from the registration and refuse child support first. He can't be trusted though. He says he will not go to court to fix the passport problem. Her lawyer and the passport office have already stated that the passport issue cannot be fixed without court. He will most likely not sign the papers to give up his rights for the child even though he never sees the child.

Has anyone had this type of issue before? Is there any guidance you can offer? If someone has gone through something like this before how were you able to bring the child to America?

Any help and any hope you can offer would be greatly appreciated now.

Thanks.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

If the father of the child won't cooperate then she can't bring the child to the US. The passport isn't the only problem. He'll need to sign a quit claim giving the child permission to immigrate or the consulate won't issue a visa. There's no way around this in most countries.

I've seen a few cases where people have managed to coerce the father into agreeing by threatening to make his life more difficult; e.g., a child support enforcement order. However, if he's already paying child support then I'm not sure what she could do that would make his life any worse.

The way lawyers usually handle a situation like this is to get both parties in the same room along with the documents they need to sign. If one party refuses to sign then the lawyer tears up any documents the first party already signed. Neither party can back out after getting what they want.

[ginimerlo 0]

Im really sorry to hear that the fathe ris not cooperating... I havent had to deal with this issue yet but I know it will come eventually. My fiance has a 8 year old girl and his ex wife just doesnt cooperate and is the worst person that I had to deal with in my life... We know that she wont let her come with us not even for vacations! Its very sad to see that parents do that to their own childs... they are limiting their future and chances to be better...

I think that in your case you will have to get lawyers involved if he is not willing to sign the documents required.

Good luck!!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Hello,

My Fiance and I got all our paperwork together and filed the petition for her K1 Visa. I sent the fedex just Saturday to Texas. She was previously married. She has been divorced for 3 years and has a beautiful 4 year old son. Her ex husband has not seen his child in 2 years. She had made an agreement with her ex husband such that she would remove her child's name from the registration of his flat and stop child support if he would sign the paperwork so that her son could leave with her for America. She went to the passport office yesterday to apply for international passports for her and her son. The people at the office said that her son could not receive a passport because her ex had signed a piece of paper saying that he cannot leave the country. We are both very sad and don't know what we can do now. Her ex is claiming that he will sign the necessary paperwork if she will remove her son's name from the registration and refuse child support first. He can't be trusted though. He says he will not go to court to fix the passport problem. Her lawyer and the passport office have already stated that the passport issue cannot be fixed without court. He will most likely not sign the papers to give up his rights for the child even though he never sees the child.

Has anyone had this type of issue before? Is there any guidance you can offer? If someone has gone through something like this before how were you able to bring the child to America?

Any help and any hope you can offer would be greatly appreciated now.

Thanks.

This is business and should be handled as such and in NO OTHER WAY. We had the same situation. The father of our sons had been AWOL for years but suddenly got an interest in the boys when Alla wanted to leave and we needed his signature. We made the same agreement, to absolve him of all past present and future child support (which he wasn't paying anyway) BUT we had aan attorney draw up the papers, make the letter allowing her to leave for the USA witrh the children AND a court petition to relieve him of child support obligations. We had a meeting at the attorneys office and everyone signed at the same time.

It cost us $100 for the attorney in Ukraine to do this.

Be sure the letter allows her to leave with the child PERMANENTLY and that it allows for future visits. You may want to get additional letters for additional countries. In Ukraine it is required to have permission to leave for specific countries. We have letters for "Any EU country", Russia, USA and Turkey. Separate letters. All signed at once. In Ukraine we needed these until the youngest was 16 years old, which he turned this year so we no longer need them.

[Jojo92122 1,924]

This is business and should be handled as such and in NO OTHER WAY. We had the same situation. The father of our sons had been AWOL for years but suddenly got an interest in the boys when Alla wanted to leave and we needed his signature. We made the same agreement, to absolve him of all past present and future child support (which he wasn't paying anyway) BUT we had aan attorney draw up the papers, make the letter allowing her to leave for the USA witrh the children AND a court petition to relieve him of child support obligations. We had a meeting at the attorneys office and everyone signed at the same time.

It cost us $100 for the attorney in Ukraine to do this.

Be sure the letter allows her to leave with the child PERMANENTLY and that it allows for future visits. You may want to get additional letters for additional countries. In Ukraine it is required to have permission to leave for specific countries. We have letters for "Any EU country", Russia, USA and Turkey. Separate letters. All signed at once. In Ukraine we needed these until the youngest was 16 years old, which he turned this year so we no longer need them.

Make sure that when the father signs the release allowing his child to permanently immigrate to the US is irrevocable. You don't want to give the father an opportunity to mess things up after by revoking the release.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Make sure that when the father signs the release allowing his child to permanently immigrate to the US is irrevocable. You don't want to give the father an opportunity to mess things up after by revoking the release.

Now the message to others

Do this, whatever you are going to do, BEFORE you file the petition There is NOTHING you can do with an approved petition if you do not have the documents you need for the children.

This part you should use an attorney familiar with FAMILY law, this is not an immigration issue. You do not need an attorney to fill in blanks on the I-129f with information only you know anyway, you need an attorney to protect your family's interests from people that generally would love to mess up your life.

Regarding being revocable, yes you need to discuss this with an attorney also and they can word it how it needs to be worded for that particular country. It may not be possible to force a biological parent to sign something which is "irrevocable" but at least you can make it difficult.

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

Since Junior is still very young, this is what I would do:

Accompanied by my attorney (or somebody pretending to be one) I would bring the child to the father with two suitcases full of stuff his stuff and wish him the best for the future. I would tell him: listen Scumback, here's your child; I wanted to take him with me to America and take care of him, but apparently you don't like the idea. I will not jeopardize my future because you are an a**hole. Whatever, dude. Here's his stuff, don't call me again and don't expect any Christmas cards either, that would only confuse him.

Have a great life.

See ya!

Then I would leave his house and walk to my car. I bet he would scoot down the stairs faster than a speeding bullet, ready to sign anything.

[jluke257 0]

Thanks for all the extremely valuable feedback.

In hindsight we should have put closure on this issue for certain before sending the petition. We felt that it was covered and it may still be without too much trouble we hope.

You are all a fantastic support system and this forum will continue to be a much needed life line.

I can't thank you enough.

Jeremy

[Robert&Karen 264]

Similar situation. The sperm donor was never around, no contribution, nothing. When we tracked him down to sign the paper we also asked for adoption rights, he said no to adoption, so that way he feel he got "some" part of it his way. Like when you sell a car you ask for more because you know the other party with want a compromise.

Our ace in the hole though was that if he balked at the paperwork we were going to ask for 60,000 pounds in back support, and then let the lawyer/collector have it ALL. That way they will clench on to him and never let go.

Really sucks when people want to use their power that way.

[jluke257 0]

Thanks again to all for the advice.

The good news is my Fiancee was able to get her estranged ex to sign the paperwork for her son to leave the country in return for her signing papers to not seek child support anymore. We are free!!!!

We are now planning our next meeting for November. I can't wait to see my beloved girl again. We cannot wait for NOA2.

Jeremy

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Since Junior is still very young, this is what I would do:

Accompanied by my attorney (or somebody pretending to be one) I would bring the child to the father with two suitcases full of stuff his stuff and wish him the best for the future. I would tell him: listen Scumback, here's your child; I wanted to take him with me to America and take care of him, but apparently you don't like the idea. I will not jeopardize my future because you are an a**hole. Whatever, dude. Here's his stuff, don't call me again and don't expect any Christmas cards either, that would only confuse him.

Have a great life.

See ya!

Then I would leave his house and walk to my car. I bet he would scoot down the stairs faster than a speeding bullet, ready to sign anything.

You clearly do not have children and have never been engaged to a woman that has children. You do not play this kind of a game with a child. Your suggestion is revolting.

Pony up and pay what you need to. Fathers that have been AWOL have no interest in the children, they have only a selfish interest. Know this and use it against them but you do not gamble and play a game of "chicken" with young children. Sick.

And you do this BEFORE you file a petition so that you deal from a position of strength AND you need to be prepared to wait it out as long as needed.

Thanks again to all for the advice.

The good news is my Fiancee was able to get her estranged ex to sign the paperwork for her son to leave the country in return for her signing papers to not seek child support anymore. We are free!!!!

We are now planning our next meeting for November. I can't wait to see my beloved girl again. We cannot wait for NOA2.

Jeremy

Good for you! Congratulations and I wish you the best. The child will be such a bonus and you are doubly lucky to find a great woman and a great child.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Similar situation. The sperm donor was never around, no contribution, nothing. When we tracked him down to sign the paper we also asked for adoption rights, he said no to adoption, so that way he feel he got "some" part of it his way. Like when you sell a car you ask for more because you know the other party with want a compromise.

Our ace in the hole though was that if he balked at the paperwork we were going to ask for 60,000 pounds in back support, and then let the lawyer/collector have it ALL. That way they will clench on to him and never let go.

Really sucks when people want to use their power that way.

Yes it sucks. The good news is that people who will abandon their own children have nothing but selfish interests at heart. Money is usually a pretty universal trading stock. People like this are almost invariably behind on child support and are subject to that.

But I would NEVER suggest attemtpoing to abandon a child in the care of someone that has proven he is not interested except to cause problems with his ex. That is a very dangerous game that should not be played with a child.