Sympathy Gifts

[shikarnov 7]

Hi All,

Sadly, a Ukrainian friend of mine is about to lose a close relative. Normally I would send a fruit basket and a sympathy card, but I thought it wise to come check with you all beforehand. What's the tradition in cases like this? My wife is from northern Russia, and so isn't certain herself...

Also - are there any reputable online retailers that would send flowers or baskets into a village 100km outside of Kiev? I found flowers.ua, but have no experience with them.

Thanks for your replies.

Z

[baron555 934]

Hi All,

Sadly, a Ukrainian friend of mine is about to lose a close relative. Normally I would send a fruit basket and a sympathy card, but I thought it wise to come check with you all beforehand. What's the tradition in cases like this? My wife is from northern Russia, and so isn't certain herself...

Also - are there any reputable online retailers that would send flowers or baskets into a village 100km outside of Kiev? I found flowers.ua, but have no experience with them.

Thanks for your replies.

Z

Can't answer the first part but I used RussianFlora.com with great success.

[Ellie-n-Vladimir 3]

Hi All,

Sadly, a Ukrainian friend of mine is about to lose a close relative. Normally I would send a fruit basket and a sympathy card

send money

[slim 1,530]

send money

RUBbers love money!

[Ellie-n-Vladimir 3]

RUBbers love money!

RUBbers.. What was about? Like having no like or equal.

They need money.. if they don't sit/eat/../sleep next to "yanukovich".. Even $100-200 would make a change.

I couldn't imagine in my nightmares a friend of mine(!) sent me a card + a fruit basket + flowers ( too early, btw) , when my mom was dying.

[shikarnov 7]

Cash? Seriously? I know folks over there aren't well off, but isn't stuffing a C-Note into a sympathy card more than a little... insulting?

[ONA 133]

Cash? Seriously? I know folks over there aren't well off, but isn't stuffing a C-Note into a sympathy card more than a little... insulting?

For you as an American - maybe.

In Russia/Ukraine when somebody dies, the first thing their friends and people from work do is gathering money for their family.

Flowers? It's pretty rare there that somebody buys real flowers for a funeral anyway. People use artificial flowers for that.

[slim 1,530]

I'm telling you, you can't go wrong giving RUBbers money on any occasion.

(Ellie-n-Vladimir, RUBbers is who we are here in the RUB forum. Russia, Ukraine, Belarus forum. Play on words = RUBbers. That's us!)

[eekee 182]

Interesting--an etiquette faux pas I never considered. We only send cash for birthday snd graduation, and I'm fairly sure cash for the death of a loved one would be taken as an insult.

[1HappyGuy 45]

Money is always well accepted. Every family, no matter where they are, suffers more than emotional loss with the death of a loved one. In many cases the decedent was the breadwinner and the need for money is even more appreciated. Even here, we have seen that. A member of our Russian community lost her husband last December. When he died, so did her income. She asked for help from our community and received mixed responses. One lady asked us if $15 was too much. Huh? But then, I had told my wife to give $100 and she only gave $50. I was not happy about that.

Giving money is not insulting, it is a way of saying you want to help with this difficult time.

[Ellie-n-Vladimir 3]

I'm telling you, you can't go wrong giving RUBbers money on any occasion.

(Ellie-n-Vladimir, RUBbers is who we are here in the RUB forum. Russia, Ukraine, Belarus forum. Play on words = RUBbers. That's us!)

[sea-monkey 13]

Cash? Seriously? I know folks over there aren't well off, but isn't stuffing a C-Note into a sympathy card more than a little... insulting?

I'd be insulted in cash gifts unless I was in a dire situation, but then again I'm an American. I get insulted if I'm given a gift card to stores for Christmas.

I went to an Asian wedding once. Reception was at a Chinese restaurant. There were no wrapped gifts, only envelopes given with money inside. The groom was seen counting the money and using it to pay for the reception bill towards the end

[slim 1,530]

I went to an Asian wedding once. Reception was at a Chinese restaurant. There were no wrapped gifts, only envelopes given with money inside. The groom was seen counting the money and using it to pay for the reception bill towards the end

Just have to chalk it up as one of the cultural differences.

In all my dealings with foreigners, they've been most impressed when I abide by their customs instead of doing the American thing.

[Amy_and_Victor 159]

I'm fairly sure cash for the death of a loved one would be taken as an insult.

No, it will be taken with gratitude. It's right written above that first thing which colleagues, neighbors, friends, etc. starting to do than somebody passing away - it's gathering money to give it to grieving family. Good funerals in Russia can cost a few thousands dollars (much more in big cities like a Moscow), and it's even not counting monument cost and landscaping place in the cemetery, so finally if family wants to make good funerals and stuff afterwards, they need to spend at least $3000-4000 in a city of average size. Even in a pretty inexpensive way it will cost at least $2000-2500. Do you think every family in RUB has so much money when in many cities of Russia $700-800 it's a good salary for person with college diploma? Some people even need to take a bank credit or borrow money to make good funerals. Even if they have enough money, it's still not cheap. So in RUB it's always OK to give some cash "to help" in case of funerals and it's not an insult.

If you're sending flowers to RUB, remember - in RUB for funerals acceptable only even amount of flowers, becuase odd amount - for alive person. It's old RUB tradition - never give even amount of flowers to alive person and never go to cemetery with odd amount.

[it's Victor from Russia]

[Brusik 11]

I know when the Georgian Luger ( Nodar Kumaristavili) died and this was my wife's nephew, I sent money and it was greatly appreciated. People in this part of the world for the most part are struggling financially...This is what happens with democracy.............. :wacko: