Has anyone felt guilty uprooting there fiance

[Oneness 17]

WWOW!!! These two weeks have been a very hard for my lovely fiancé. She sold her home and her final day was Friday. She will be staying with her sister until the end of the month. Her last day of work is the 23rd but has taken off next Monday through Thursday to go to her interview Tuesday in London, she will do just fine that I know about my Julie. Her family is crying, her Dad is hurting, Mom says she just wants her daughter happy and she has never seen Julie so happy. Julie emotions right now are all over the map understandably. I stand defenseless wanting to fix this right now, but have realized I need Gods will take it's has been His course, His gift to me. Right now I just have to be there for her, selfless, lovingly and understanding her needs not mine AT ALL. I have to mentally tell myself before I call if am excited about something in the future beyond the interview she most likely won’t be right now. Its ruff but I need to be strong, relax with total patient. Then I ask myself how anyone could love me as much as she does. WOW!!! I am one fortunate man right now with a blessed future ahead with a wonderful woman. What’s in two more weeks that I cannot handle.

Thanks all for listening

Don

[Brusik 11]

It does bother me that my wife is leaving her family.. We are an older couple and all her brothers, friends and sons will remain in Georgia.. Believe me if there was work in this country

I would have been the one to uproot everything.. It's difficult no matter how happy you are... but in the long run you still will yearn for your homeland......

[tom&tanya 48]

WWOW!!! These two weeks have been a very hard for my lovely fiancé. She sold her home and her final day was Friday. She will be staying with her sister until the end of the month. Her last day of work is the 23rd but has taken off next Monday through Thursday to go to her interview Tuesday in London, she will do just fine that I know about my Julie. Her family is crying, her Dad is hurting, Mom says she just wants her daughter happy and she has never seen Julie so happy. Julie emotions right now are all over the map understandably. I stand defenseless wanting to fix this right now, but have realized I need Gods will take it's has been His course, His gift to me. Right now I just have to be there for her, selfless, lovingly and understanding her needs not mine AT ALL. I have to mentally tell myself before I call if am excited about something in the future beyond the interview she most likely won't be right now. Its ruff but I need to be strong, relax with total patient. Then I ask myself how anyone could love me as much as she does. WOW!!! I am one fortunate man right now with a blessed future ahead with a wonderful woman. What's in two more weeks that I cannot handle.

Thanks all for listening

Don

I had the same emotions, I totally understand. Because you are thinking this way, it's a real indication that you see this in the right way. I remember my wife's family crying and hurting. Tanya's mom told me that Tanya would need to rely on me for everything and she was coming to America "like a blind kitten" ... It blew me away. Now they still miss her of course but they are happy that Tanya is safe and secure with me.

This woman loves you as much as she does ... is leaving her whole life behind ... always be the man she deserves.

[Bryan and Isabel 29]

This is the way I feel as well, I am starting my k-1 process along with a friend who is also in the same position and we also talk about this topic. I think everyone knows how hard this process can be and how it tests the limits of the realationship at times , but as much as I think as how hard all this running around to consulate to consulate, notaries, police stations, post offices, etc. i think to myself, i may have it hard being the petitioner but how hard does my finacee have it, shes leaving her family, friends, work, school, goals, dreams, culture, and way of life. Out of the two of us she would always be the one who has given the most in the relationship, i personnally would not be able to do what she is doing. I love her, and God knows I do, but my life is here in New York and im taking care of my elderly parents at the same time while still partially raising my younger brother. I also have my career and education over here so as much as I would like to drop it all it would'nt have been the best choice for me. This was a major problem for us in the begining and after month of speaking about it she was finally the one who made the desicion to come over here to be part of my life. These words are easily spoken but when it gets closer to the interview it begins to sink in and finally after the visa is issued is when i beleive reality hits and it all become very real, good byes have to be said and her final days numbered. One thing I tell my finacee everyday that we speak is to enjoy the time she has with her family and friends now, enjoy the city that she grew up in, and make memories taht will carry her through the times that she will become homesick ( because this is inevitable ).

For anyone in this particualr situation I say this, Thank your finacee every now and then for the desicion that have made to change their life and be with you. Make them feel like their desicion has not gone unrecognized or unappreciated and you will also feel better about the situation yourself.

God Bless everyone on their journey's to happiness

Bryan

[Oneness 17]

Telling her to enjoy her time left ... I like that.

You are so right what was the fun giddy rules of the past are not accepted

It has become reality. Time to get seriouse and make wise dessions get your

home prepared for her. Thank her and tell her you love her everyday!

Thank's Byan

Don

[Oneness 17]

It does bother me that my wife is leaving her family.. We are an older couple and all her brothers, friends and sons will remain in Georgia.. Believe me if there was work in this country

I would have been the one to uproot everything.. It's difficult no matter how happy you are... but in the long run you still will yearn for your homeland......

[Oneness 17]

Thanks Brusik it will be hard on her and I will be there lovingly

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

I didn't feel the least bit guilty until the day she said goodbye to her family at Phu Bai airport. Everybody cried. Me too.

[az110965 252]

WWOW!!! These two weeks have been a very hard for my lovely fiancé. She sold her home and her final day was Friday. She will be staying with her sister until the end of the month. Her last day of work is the 23rd but has taken off next Monday through Thursday to go to her interview Tuesday in London, she will do just fine that I know about my Julie. Her family is crying, her Dad is hurting, Mom says she just wants her daughter happy and she has never seen Julie so happy. Julie emotions right now are all over the map understandably. I stand defenseless wanting to fix this right now, but have realized I need Gods will take it's has been His course, His gift to me. Right now I just have to be there for her, selfless, lovingly and understanding her needs not mine AT ALL. I have to mentally tell myself before I call if am excited about something in the future beyond the interview she most likely won’t be right now. Its ruff but I need to be strong, relax with total patient. Then I ask myself how anyone could love me as much as she does. WOW!!! I am one fortunate man right now with a blessed future ahead with a wonderful woman. What’s in two more weeks that I cannot handle.

Thanks all for listening

Don

Don...

Glad to see you understand now and I'm so happy for you.

There are many things you can do once she arrives to help your fiance with homesickness. Make sure she stays in contact with her family (sending a couple of Majicjacks over to her relatives will keep your phone bills in check).

Go to whatever your local grocery store chain is and make sure they have foods that she's used to eating (I know she's from the UK - but if she likes certain spices, simply ask the store manager to stock what she likes). I arranged for my nearby Giant Eagle (huge chain) to stock cilantro (it's a staple spice in Costa Rica) as well as a certain brand of rice that my fiance likes. The manager was very receptive to adding the additional items to his store's stock.

Another thing that made things better with my fiance was that I gave her a definitive time frame when we'd be able to travel back to Costa Rica to see her family. Simply making the comittment to your fiance as to when you'll be able to travel to the UK will help her to understand that she WILL see her family again.

Also, I hope you've had the discussion with your fiancee's family that you understand their trepidation and that you'll make sure their daughter will be loved and cared for and that you are honored to be welcomed into their family. This helped me a lot to earn the respect of my fiance's family and for them to be able to let go just a little bit.

This will be an amazing time for both of you. Each day will come with it's own victory's and defeats but the most important thing to remember is how lucky you are to have her - she'll realize how lucky she is also.

Best of luck to you.

[Dan & Jenni 457]

my USC fiance said that she doesnt care about what im giving up and that i should just get my butt over there as soon as possible because she has lots of jobs around the house that need doing. im thinking im gonna be far too busy to get homesick lol.

on a more serious note though... it is hard knowing what im about to give up but i knew what i was getting myself in to when i started on the visa process and even though i will need a little time to get my head round it all when the time comes i am fully prepared for it. all you all can do that have posted on here is be patient, understanding, and tell your foreign fiance on a regular basis how much you love them and how much you appreciate what they are doing and be there for them when they have there bad days... it works for me and makes everyhing a lot less scary. from reading all your posts though i think you have all got it right

good luck to you all