Update on the denial

[tmma 467]

Yeah, where the hell did she go?

I know her. Regardless of your (not YOU personally, Sarah, but the responders in general) speculations and personal judgements she is in a lot of pain and confusion and this didn't help. She left the forum. This is why I said what I did. Call it drama or not, but not everyone handles things the same way. A lot of folks here tend to get terribly tunnel-visioned. I realize I was emotional in my response but I know what Jabree is going through on a personal basis and it was hard to see what was happening here on top of what she's coping with regarding her future. Remember, this process is involving marriage which would logically suggest it involves love and a great deal of emotion.

As far as my own defense... I posted for HER. She's a friend and I care. As far as the future goes, I'll post if I please although I don't have much stomach left for this.

Wishing all those still waiting the best outcomes...

just_waiting....

What don't you have the stomach for? All people who have posted on here are just facing the the hard realities of the situation.

It's real life that the US Govt ( and possibly most other Govts in the world) will not issue a visa for permenant residence to someone whom has never met their American fiancee! That is not so unbelieveable to me and actually not too much for the US Govt to ask; considering whomever it is is going to be granted residency here.

That's the stipulation for approval of the 129F, it's written clearly on the application, it's one of the first things the Service Centers look for-plain and simple that's the way it is.

Nothing harsh or unstomach-able about that! Just the reality of the situation.

Cotton balling and watching her blow untold amounts of cash on a futile attempt at an appeal is unrealistic and doing a disservice to your friend. The money would be better spent on a ticket to put this whole matter right once and for all.

Edited September 22, 2006 by tmma

[homesick_american 1]

Yeah, where the hell did she go?

I know her. Regardless of your (not YOU personally, Sarah, but the responders in general) speculations and personal judgements she is in a lot of pain and confusion and this didn't help. She left the forum. This is why I said what I did. Call it drama or not, but not everyone handles things the same way. A lot of folks here tend to get terribly tunnel-visioned. I realize I was emotional in my response but I know what Jabree is going through on a personal basis and it was hard to see what was happening here on top of what she's coping with regarding her future. Remember, this process is involving marriage which would logically suggest it involves love and a great deal of emotion.

As far as my own defense... I posted for HER. She's a friend and I care. As far as the future goes, I'll post if I please although I don't have much stomach left for this.

Wishing all those still waiting the best outcomes...

just_waiting....

What don't you have the stomach for? All people who have posted on here are just facing the the hard realities of the situation.

It's real life that the US Govt ( and possibly most other Govts in the world) will not issue a visa for permenant residence to someone whom has never met their American fiancee! That is not so unbelieveable to me and actually not too much for the US Govt to ask; considering whomever it is is going to be granted residency here.

That's the stipulation for approval of the 129F, it's written clearly on the application, it's one of the first things the Service Centers look for-plain and simple that's the way it is.

Nothing harsh or unstomach-able about that! Just the reality of the situation.

Cotton balling and watching her blow untold amounts of cash on a futile attempt at an appeal is unrealistic and doing a disservice to your friend. The money would be better spent on a ticket to put this whole matter right once and for all.

[CarolineM 0]

!!!Great post!

[Ban Hammer 13,110]

just_waiting....

What don't you have the stomach for? All people who have posted on here are just facing the the hard realities of the situation.

It's real life that the US Govt ( and possibly most other Govts in the world) will not issue a visa for permenant residence to someone whom has never met their American fiancee! That is not so unbelieveable to me and actually not too much for the US Govt to ask; considering whomever it is is going to be granted residency here.

That's the stipulation for approval of the 129F, it's written clearly on the application, it's one of the first things the Service Centers look for-plain and simple that's the way it is.

Nothing harsh or unstomach-able about that! Just the reality of the situation.

Cotton balling and watching her blow untold amounts of cash on a futile attempt at an appeal is unrealistic and doing a disservice to your friend. The money would be better spent on a ticket to put this whole matter right once and for all.

me too!

[john_and_marlene 162]

We don't know if it's a flying problem

We don't know if it's a cultural/religous problem

We don't know if its's a medical problem

We don't know

Oh yeah ....

We don't know if it's a financial problem.

[Traviesa 0]

Just_Waiting...a question for you...why are you so upset that people are trying to offer helpful advice? I mean, people don't have to help out at all, but everyone's trying to tell you all the best way to move on from here, and you guys are all upset about it. I just don't get that. Wouldn't you like to know what's the best next step to take? I thought that's what these forums were all about. Just because people are saying that her chosen next step isn't a wise one, that's not saying we're picking on her or being mean...rather, everyone just wants to see her succeed. I don't see what the problem is with that.

ETA: I addressed Just_Waiting, because supposedly Jabree is no longer reading this thread.

Edited September 22, 2006 by Heina

[tmma 467]

We don't know if it's a flying problem

We don't know if it's a cultural/religous problem

We don't know if its's a medical problem

We don't know

Oh yeah ....

We don't know if it's a financial problem.

To be real about this there are very few ( if any-upon reading the website on USCIS detailing waiver denials)

"problems" that USCIS recognizes as precluding that person from the requirement to meet in person at least once 2 years prior to filing. The exact problem preventing the " meet" is most likely immaterial and unwaiverable in the eyes of the USCIS...... I hope the OP reads the USCIS site on recent denials of waiver of that requirement.

Another reality ( of course my opinion) is that a visa for a foreign fiance(e) is not a "right" we are given at birth. It's an application we make as the USC, we fill the requirements and then that person is granted access to residency here, based on our application and them fulfilling their requirements.

The application is the USC's but the visa is given to the foreign national; therefore the Govt requiring a standard for the application that applies to ALL is not over-the-top nor is mentioning this "unstomachable".

Plane tickets do not come easy for any of us. No one said this process was cheap or easy.

Edited September 22, 2006 by tmma

[rebeccajo 14]

Just_Waiting...a question for you...why are you so upset that people are trying to offer helpful advice? I mean, people don't have to help out at all, but everyone's trying to tell you all the best way to move on from here, and you guys are all upset about it. I just don't get that. Wouldn't you like to know what's the best next step to take? I thought that's what these forums were all about. Just because people are saying that her chosen next step isn't a wise one, that's not saying we're picking on her or being mean...rather, everyone just wants to see her succeed. I don't see what the problem is with that.

ETA: I addressed Just_Waiting, because supposedly Jabree is no longer reading this thread.

Wow.

jabree and just waiting, this comment from this woman is one you should really pay attention to. If you knew Heina's backhistory you'd understand why I think her comments are so noteworthy.

She's taken her share of 'advice' on this board....and has come to this conclusion. Apparently she feels that there were times when she got 'advice' here she didn't really like, but later on thought better of it.

I think it's called maturity. And common sense.

[john_and_marlene 162]

I addressed Just_Waiting, because supposedly Jabree is no longer reading this thread.

I think she is still reading. She was logged in this morning.

[Traviesa 0]

Just_Waiting...a question for you...why are you so upset that people are trying to offer helpful advice? I mean, people don't have to help out at all, but everyone's trying to tell you all the best way to move on from here, and you guys are all upset about it. I just don't get that. Wouldn't you like to know what's the best next step to take? I thought that's what these forums were all about. Just because people are saying that her chosen next step isn't a wise one, that's not saying we're picking on her or being mean...rather, everyone just wants to see her succeed. I don't see what the problem is with that.

ETA: I addressed Just_Waiting, because supposedly Jabree is no longer reading this thread.

Wow.

jabree and just waiting, this comment from this woman is one you should really pay attention to. If you knew Heina's backhistory you'd understand why I think her comments are so noteworthy.

She's taken her share of 'advice' on this board....and has come to this conclusion. Apparently she feels that there were times when she got 'advice' here she didn't really like, but later on thought better of it.

I think it's called maturity. And common sense.

Honestly, I would not have ever made the decision to pursue the I-130 without the people from VJ. There are many times when I have been offered advice, and have resisted it because it came across harsh...now I can see all that as invaluable, and I am grateful. That's why I don't like to see all these good people who took the time to type out these thoughtful responses "shamed." Seriously, if you don't want advice, you don't have to take it...but it's only a matter of time before you'll be back crying that your way didn't work, and if only you had listened...been there, done that.

[ya falaha! 0]

From Europe to Egypt it is a LOT cheaper than from the US. Who cares about that anyways..Jabree is from the states not Europe. It cost me $1100 last December to fly to Egypt and $1600 this past July.

Most people here are traveling to the Middle East or North Africa which is expensive also. It cost me 1600$ last summer to fly to Morocco.

That would be my contention but someone else on here claims it's dirt cheap to fly from Europe to Egypt.

[ya falaha! 0]

I agree..a REAL friend would be honest. Not sugarcoat everything and tell her only what she wants to hear. I would more appreciate honesty that may save me more heartache down the road then someone encouraging me to pursue something that is quite frankly..hopeless. Encouraging Jabree to actually go to Egypt to meet her "fiance" (I quote it because IMO you can't be engaged to someone you've never actually met in person) would be better advice than praying for an impossibility.

I know her. Regardless of your (not YOU personally, Sarah, but the responders in general) speculations and personal judgements she is in a lot of pain and confusion and this didn't help. She left the forum.

Why? Because people stopped telling her what she wanted to hear?

There are times one has to look at what one is being told and whether one likes it or not, it's time to smell the bacon burning.

This reminds me of something I say to myself whenever I'm getting information from people that I don't particularly like. "Well rebecca - everybody else can't be wrong - maybe you are the one that's wrong!'

Her confusion might be helped if somebody pointed her in that direction. If she won't listen to us then maybe she would listen to a friend.

[Captain Ewok 1,871]

This topic has been closed per the request of the original poster. Thank you for your understanding.