moving to another state , custody

[seminole 0]

I am new to this site and have a few questions. I am a US Citizen and married a women from Poland. We have been married for 5 years and have a 4 year old child. Our marriage is not the best, but we are trying to work through it. My company is transfering me to another office in NY/Conn. from Florida next month. She is not too happy about the transfer, but its a better position within my company. Thinking ahead, if we were to get a divorce after moving to the NY/Conn. area , after we sign a lease on a house, put the child in school, could she turn around after a period of time, file for divorce and remove my child from the NY/Conn area back to Florida? Basically is there a law that would stop her from removing my child from her new life in NY, and take him back to Florida? She is basically a stay at home mom , and I would be working and paying all the bills in my new position in NY.

Thank you

[Inky 1,111]

You need to ask a divorce lawyer about things like that. I have seen women get away with a lot of crazy things that they shouldn't have been able to do because they got very good lawyers.

[MamaAsiya 8]

Inky makes a good point. It comes down to proving what's in the best interest of the child. Generally speaking, you can not take a child out of state without both parents permission. If your child is established in NY/Conn, it would be difficult to prove it is better to uproot. However, I have seen it done. Good luck to you.

[seminole 0]

You need to ask a divorce lawyer about things like that. I have seen women get away with a lot of crazy things that they shouldn't have been able to do because they got very good lawyers.

Thanks Inky. In all honesty, we are trying to work things out. But in the case of divorce, I could get a far superior attorney then she could, finacially speaking. My wife and I are in our late 20's and don't have alot of extra money together after the bills are paid. But I was left about 80K in a trust that my mother left me before passing away and before my wife and I got married. I would spend whatever it took to keep my son in the Conn. area, as I have a great relationship with my him.

Edited September 7, 2011 by seminole

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Thanks Inky. In all honesty, we are trying to work things out. But in the case of divorce, I could get a far superior attorney then she could, finacially speaking. My wife and I are in our late 20's and don't have alot of extra money together after the bills are paid. But I was left about 80K in a trust that my mother left me before passing away and before my wife and I got married. I would spend whatever it took to keep my son in the Conn. area, as I have a great relationship with my him.

Don't be too sure. Family courts usually presume that the marital assets are equally available to both parties. You have income, she has none, which makes half your income available to her. She could hire an absolutely vicious lawyer and you could be stuck with the tab. That's the way it works in divorce - the more unbalanced the finances are, the more the court tries to balance them. This ends up being a big bonus for the non-working spouse and a kick in the balls to the working spouse.

If divorce becomes inevitable then you should try to work out an amicable settlement between you without involving any attorneys. When lawyers get involved then it's usually the lawyers who benefit the most.

Don't expect sole custody unless you can prove she's an unfit mother. Joint custody is pretty much the standard rule. The courts will usually rule that the child can't be taken out of the state without permission of both parents. I got sole physical and legal custody of my daughter in my divorce (yes, I proved she was an unfit mother), and I wasn't allowed to move outside the county where I live without permission from my ex-wife, nor could my daughter leave the state even temporarily without permission from my ex-wife.