st lukes discussion

[TeddyHoney 42]

WOW! I've only been member here on VJ for about 10 months since last November, and I only really visit the Philippines forums since my Fiancee is pinay. But I have to say I've never seen/read anyone get so clobbered like this. I have read a lot of the OPs posts and have to say this was a long time coming but people either ignored him for the most part and/or just kind of tried to be nice. But I could sense lately the impatience of some. I guess this last tirade was the last straw.

My prayers are with the OP and his fiancee in their future together. Especially for the pinay - she is soooooooooooo young! I pray the OP can change to have more humility and true understanding and patience as to not cause the sweet and loving, caring and compassionate nature of his pinay to change too much and lose those ways about her that make her who and what she is.

I have to do the same and though I have learned much from my first marriage to a Filipina, I have a loooooooong way to go in that myself. I think, with Gods help we can all make the neccessary changes for what we want. But we have to really want to change and that means we have to humbly recognize and admit the faults we have first. And I want happiness for my Fiancee to be with me. I don't want to be selfish and make her unhappy here after she give up everything to come all this way to be with me. I've been through this before. But just knowing is only half the battle cuz only action will bring about the change.

I hope and pray OP can see and do also and try for the happiness of his pinay.

God bless to them.

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

Especially for the pinay - she is soooooooooooo young! I pray the OP can change to have more humility and true understanding and patience as to not cause the sweet and loving, caring and compassionate nature of his pinay to change too much and lose those ways about her that make her who and what she is.

What do these (highlighted) words mean?

I have a question please, if you don't mind... do American men refer to their American wives as "their AMERICAN"? "Your American"? "His American"? "The American"? And vice versa? Why is it, the Pinay has to be referred as "My" or "His" Pinay? Is it difficult to say "my" / "his" fiancee and or "my" / "his" wife? I'm guessing you are trying to be complimentary but, your "the/his pinay" comments make me wonder and ask myself...do you think we Pinays are human or.. an object.

If you can refer to your own fiancee as "my fiancee"... why can't you do the same to others'? What is the difference between "your" Pinay fiancee and other American's Pinay fiancee?

Again, I am happy because my husband has never referred to me as 'His Pinay". He's indeed one of a kind!

I hope and pray OP can see and do also and try for the happiness of his pinay.

Edited September 6, 2011 by ~happyndinlove~

[DeeDee&Sam 68]

What do these (highlighted) words mean?

I have a question please, if you don't mind... do American men refer to their American wives as "their AMERICAN"? "Your American"? "His American"? "The American"? And vice versa? Why is it, the Pinay has to be referred as "My" or "His" Pinay? Is it difficult to say "my" / "his" fiancee and or "my" / "his" wife? I'm guessing you are trying to be complimentary but, your "the/his pinay" comments make me wonder and ask myself...do you think we Pinays are human or.. an object.

If you can refer to your own fiancee as "my fiancee"... why can't you do the same to others'? What is the difference between "your" Pinay fiancee and other American's Pinay fiancee?

Again, I am happy because my husband has never referred to me as 'His Pinay". He's indeed one of a kind!

hmmm generally speaking, you're right. but there are times when calling your wife/fiancee by her country name is actually funny. well....i seriously find it funny when my fiance calls me "his crazy romanian wife" or "crazy white woman" LMAO. he did then when talking to my mom and i found it funny as hell, not a bit rude or insulting

Edited September 6, 2011 by DeeDee&Sam

[Nicoco 26]

@OP: Maybe you have a special vision problem......but I'm 20 years old and I'm a -9 in both eyes. Without contacts, or glasses, I can't see further than five inches from my face.....

What does it have to do with anything anyway?

.........btw I'm half Filipina (not that it has anything to do with anything either...)

Edited September 6, 2011 by Ni-ing & Ice

[Tahoma 2,292]

Darren...

Quit making excuses. Your tantrum had nothing to do with your eyesight. And please don't tell me that poor eyesight is something I don't understand. I understand it very well. I go nowhere without my glasses. You made a choice to behave like the Ugly American. As a fellow American, I was ashamed by the arrogance and ignorance contained in your email.

It's plain and simple. You had other choices, but you chose to behave poorly. You also chose not to listen to those with experience at St. Lukes.

By the way, how is it possible for you to forget your glasses? If your eyesight is that bad, you would have known that you weren't wearing your glasses even before you stepped out of your friend's car at the airport. What's up with that?

Also, I never travel without a spare pair of glasses. With your eyesight, why would you choose to travel overseas without a extra pair. And please don't use the excuse that your glasses are too expensive to risk losing them overseas. Look at the position you put yourself in because you chose not to take along an extra pair of glasses.

Further, why didn't you choose to have your friend FedEx your glasses to you? You could have had them in three days. Or, why didn't you choose to simply get another pair of glasses in Manila? I guarantee they are way less expensive there. You could have done so in a day or two. Instead, you chose to go around blind. You seem to be making a lot of poor choices and not owning up to the consequences of them.

[TeddyHoney 42]

What do these (highlighted) words mean?

I have a question please, if you don't mind... do American men refer to their American wives as "their AMERICAN"? "Your American"? "His American"? "The American"? And vice versa? Why is it, the Pinay has to be referred as "My" or "His" Pinay? Is it difficult to say "my" / "his" fiancee and or "my" / "his" wife? I'm guessing you are trying to be complimentary but, your "the/his pinay" comments make me wonder and ask myself...do you think we Pinays are human or.. an object.

If you can refer to your own fiancee as "my fiancee"... why can't you do the same to others'? What is the difference between "your" Pinay fiancee and other American's Pinay fiancee?

Again, I am happy because my husband has never referred to me as 'His Pinay". He's indeed one of a kind!

I will use pinay for Filipina in these posts where I know the audience is mixed with at least Filipinos and Americans and other nationals that know what pinays and Filipinas. And when I do, I do so to emphasize the unique characteristics of same, characteristics I find attractive and special. Other American men may want to respond to this differently and in their own words but i am responding to you about my words in the noted post.

"do American men refer to their American wives as "their AMERICAN"? "Your American"? "His American"? "The American"? And vice versa?" - Again I can't speak for all Americans, but in my case, no. At home among family or in the general public i refered to my wife as "my wife", even though she was Filipina. But here on VJ when I post about things that may have to do with her or our relationship I will refer to her as my ex filipina wife, or my ex wife that is filipina or pinay because I want the reader to know that my comment about my ex has to do with the fact that she is filipina as is relevent to my post and the fact that I am posting on a forum about the Filipino people and Filipino situations/circumstances. If I just said my ex-wife, readers may not know that and my post may be confusing.

Here in America, as far as I know - and someone correct me if I'm wrong - we don't have names for American women or men like in some other countires like the Philippines, other names for them like pinay/pinoy or Filipina/Filipino. If we did I'm sure they would be used the same way as pinay/pinoy - I mean WE DO, but they are not so respectful and defining as say pinay or Filipina is as to me, in my opinion and maybe I'm wrong again but I always thought of these as references to Filipino women that meant to underline the characteristics and traits that Filipinas are known for around the world and I am proud refer to my fiancee sometimes and "my pinay" or "my filipina" with fiancee added or not added. That doesn't mean I think of them as objects anymore as I think of "my daughter" as an object or "my mother" or "my sister" as objects. I reffered to my ex as "my filipina wife" at times in certain audiances or under certain circumstances when I wanted to emphasize that my wife was from the Philippines for whatever reasons I may have had at those times. I also currently refer to my fiancee as "my Squeezy Bear" or "My Asian Queen" and in public or mxed company at times. She likes those a lot btw and doesn't feel like an object when I use them.

"If you can refer to your own fiancee as "my fiancee"... why can't you do the same to others'? - Well, I have and I do at times. Sometimes its "his pinay" or "my Filipina", whatever I feel like at the time. I guess in the part where I wrote "My prayers are with the OP and his fiancee in their future together", either was missed or doesn't count?

"What is the difference between "your" Pinay fiancee and other American's Pinay fiancee?" - beyond them being individuals and maybe from different parts of the country, different dialects, customs, etc. None!

My fiancee has access to this account to use VJ as a reference just as I do. She doesn't post. She could if she wanted and could even have her own account if she wanted. She reads all my posts and hasn't complained (belive me if she had problem with anything I posted I would sure hear about it!!) She hasn't complained so that works for me.

Again to the OP and his young pinay, I pray for them the best in their future lives together.

[paul_kay 31]

I've been following the OP's story every since and I must say of all your stories, his is the most interesting. Looking forward to more FAMAS worthy posts from you!

[Tahoma 2,292]

"What is the difference between "your" Pinay fiancee and other American's Pinay fiancee?" - beyond them being individuals and maybe from different parts of the country, different dialects, customs, etc. None!

Teddy...I don't think for a moment that you intentionally meant to show disrespect. But please listen to yourself ^^^.

Everyone is an individual. Period.

Why not use her screen name? You know what it is. It's Gretchen. Using it would show respect.

[TeddyHoney 42]

Teddy...I don't think for a moment that you intentionally meant to show disrespect. But please listen to yourself ^^^.

Everyone is an individual. Period.

Why not use her screen name? You know what it is. It's Gretchen. Using it would show respect.

In all Honesty I pray for the best for Darren and Gretchen in their future lives together.

I really do.

[Tahoma 2,292]

I've been following the OP's story every since and I must say of all your stories, his is the most interesting. Looking forward to more FAMAS worthy posts from you!

I nominate this thread for best daytime drama.

In all Honesty I pray for the best for Darren and Gretchen in their future lives together.

I really do.

So do I. I hope they find peace, health, and happiness together.

[paul_kay 31]

I nominate this thread for best daytime drama.

I would like to nominate this thread too.

[Tahoma 2,292]

I would like to nominate this thread too.

I second that nomination !!!

[paul_kay 31]

I second that nomination !!!

I just came across this thread and just LOLed. Crocodile

[MatthewNCarolina 73]

SO, he saw the guard 6 feet away from him? And he has an eyesight problem? And he was without glasses? And he needs the girl to go everywhere?

Let's get some things straight?

I believe that anyone who has an eyesight problem, especially that bad, would never forget the glasses, or even if anyone ever did, you'd find a way to get a new one, or yours by mail, etc. That being said, I see clearly a real big MUD - Made-Up Drama, I believe the OP might have some problem, but well none of his pictures he's wearing his so important and expensive glasses. You're failing since the beggining buddy.

Another thing I see that seems very wrong is, if he trusts his fiancee so much, why he didn't give her the money in advance, knowing about his ''condition''? Why she didn't ask you for it while you was still at the hotel?? Or if she did, why didn't you trust her?? When my fiancé was in Brazil, as soon as we'd exchange money, I'd keep half of it, if not ALL of his money, because here, Iam the citizen, I know about the place, where to go or not, how to react to certain situations and people, or how to deal with money in public, and HE is the foreign, so for his (and mine) safety, we had to plan. That being said, made my fiancé realize that I wasn't trying to ''keep his money for myself'', but keeping BOTH of us safe if we were out, we'd divide the money between the two of us in advance, while at home, just in case. Things always worked, and we were never caught up in a bad situation.

I've been reading his posts since he joined VJ, and all I see is a big guy who acts like A KID when doesn't get what he wants, the way he wants, when he wants it. All in all, WHY DIDN'T YOUR FIANCEE PUT YOU IN A SAFE PLACE, CALMED YOU DOWN, AND TOLD YOU TO WAIT??? WHERE IS SHE IN THIS WHOLE SITUATION? (okay, at the medical, but still). She never says a word? You act like a fool, in her home country and what does she says?

Buddy, you're not in America, you do not rule anything there, not even in your own country (go figure, this is why you're going through this process like everyone else), you need to respect the rules and be THANKFUL if SLEC didn't send an email to the consulate to mess with your life. You should be focusing on what the future holds, the good things, and take others advices. Everyone here tried to help you, but you didn't care. You're lucky if she gets the visa, while others (who have more sense) are still waiting. And do not need to reply to this, if you'll say another excuse.

Anyway, I wish you good luck, more sense, and patience for your future wife.

[Tahoma 2,292]

I just came across this thread and just LOLed. Crocodile

Manong guard would never allow that big croc into crowded St. Lukes because he takes up more than one chair.