Uncertain

[Aridon 1]

I am very happy here with my husband (after a long distance relationship of more than 4 years) finally we are together. I am however shocked by the health system, the price of higher education and yes, I do not feel safe...crime is one of my greatest concerns...personal safety is also dependent on money...

I have a Bachelors degree and I speak 3 languages, I do hope to find a good job even in this tough economy...I am so happy to have this greencard in my hands yet...uncertainty is always present. I am anxious and sometimes I cant sleep well thinking about the future. Is this a normal feeling being in a new country or is it just me? Please share your thoughts and experiences, as I will greatly appreciate them...I guess not having family and friends around makes things even harder for me. Thank you.

Edited September 5, 2011 by Aridon

[BlueBonnet 84]

I think your thoughts, feelings, and concerns are very natural. Not just once youre here, but before you get to the USA. For me, sitting at home, going to work everyday, I earned 47K last year in Canada, but I would research the US to see what I was getting into. My job, what Im good at, and what I do, was entry level pay at $14 an hour. That was scary. The healthcare always frightened me, still does. And Ive had to see a dr. 2x. @ $120 per visit + prescriptions that were 2x the amount what Im used to paying in Canada. Ill be honest though, talking to some Americans since Ive been here, not one has been happy with the healthcare offered here.

Having no friends sucks too. My husband went hunting this weekend, I was out running errands on Friday and got hungry, so I went to my favorite restaraunt, by myself and had dinner, I felt like such a loser.

Giving up everything to move is difficult, overwhelming, frightening. I dont think your alone with this.

Throughout the process of the K1, my then fiance and I would say to each other ... one day closer. That motto got us through alot. Im very happy to be with him now and here, or in Canada .. didnt matter, we just wanted to be together.

I guess to Im really glad for facebook, that does make not being back in Canada alot easier. Having friends continue to share their lives with you, staying in touch in some manner, being able to pop up instachats.

I hope this helps your blusey feelings

[Aridon 1]

Well I am glad others feel like me. I am having a hard time getting adjusted and I hope that things will look better after I start working and getting into some kind of routine. I live in the south and I don't like it much but I guess each place has its pros and cons, seems like the health system, the crime rates, the prices of higher education, the uncertainty in the job market and the extreme weather we have to face here in the south are too much to digest for a newcomer. Lets hope for the best!

Edited September 6, 2011 by Aridon

[BlueBonnet 84]

Where is "The South" ?

[Damian&Kelly 16]

Long Distance relationships are hard and I always thought the goodbyes and the distance would be the hardest part, but I honestly think it's the ending that is the hardest. It's bittersweet really, so happy to be together but someone always has to sacrifice. Give up everything they called home and start over. It's been 3.5 years since my husband moved here to the US from England. Now England isn't too much different then the US, so it wasn't so much a culture shock but there's still the homesickness. He still misses his family and friends. Though we got through the hard parts, it took time. I wasn't prepared for the changes he'd face, I thought he'd get here and everything would be great because we finally got what we wanted, to be together. But it was a big difference, we went from traveling back and forth every few months to having to work and support ourselves. Once he got his license, his own car and a job things started to fall in place. After about 8 months working he met another English guy at work, they became friends and he started to play soccer 1-2 times a week that's when he started to call this his home, this is actually the 1st year since he moved here that we aren't going to England to visit. He invited his parents here to visit.

I just think it takes time, and you and your other half have to be patient with it. I tried to make him feel as at home as I could. I found him his favorite foods he was missing from home and even learned to cook some that we couldn't find. About once a month we have English night, when we just stay in and cook all his favorites together and sometimes take a trip to the locate British shop.

I believe your sense of home will return over time once you start replacing the things you've lost. Family and friends can't be replaced but they'll always be there for you.

[Aridon 1]

Where is "The South" ?

Louisiana

[Aridon 1]

Long Distance relationships are hard and I always thought the goodbyes and the distance would be the hardest part, but I honestly think it's the ending that is the hardest. It's bittersweet really, so happy to be together but someone always has to sacrifice. Give up everything they called home and start over. It's been 3.5 years since my husband moved here to the US from England. Now England isn't too much different then the US, so it wasn't so much a culture shock but there's still the homesickness. He still misses his family and friends. Though we got through the hard parts, it took time. I wasn't prepared for the changes he'd face, I thought he'd get here and everything would be great because we finally got what we wanted, to be together. But it was a big difference, we went from traveling back and forth every few months to having to work and support ourselves. Once he got his license, his own car and a job things started to fall in place. After about 8 months working he met another English guy at work, they became friends and he started to play soccer 1-2 times a week that's when he started to call this his home, this is actually the 1st year since he moved here that we aren't going to England to visit. He invited his parents here to visit.

I just think it takes time, and you and your other half have to be patient with it. I tried to make him feel as at home as I could. I found him his favorite foods he was missing from home and even learned to cook some that we couldn't find. About once a month we have English night, when we just stay in and cook all his favorites together and sometimes take a trip to the locate British shop.

I believe your sense of home will return over time once you start replacing the things you've lost. Family and friends can't be replaced but they'll always be there for you.

Well, maybe with time I will get to meet some people who share the same interests. This is not my first time in a new country as I have both Argentinean and Israeli citizenship...so I guess I know what to expect. I lived in this country back in the 90's too, so it was "familiar" in a sense. I feel down a bit...maybe is the place where I live, maybe the fact that I am not working and driving yet...but I am so happy here with my husband and whatever happens we will overcome together. It's been 9 months since I arrived...I hope things will improve.

[Travis and Meghan 24]

This is something that i'm starting to worry about. I'm due to leave Australia in four weeks and i can't wait to be back with my Travis. But....all of a sudden i'm sooooo scared about leaving. don't get me wrong, i'm not having any second thoughts at all, this is what i want, what we want and we've been doing everythings we can to try and prepare ourselves for the move. But i'm just scared about nothing feeling comfortable, nothing being familiar and not having my family around me :/ He does have a really great group of friends though that i get along with rather well and i know that they will be very welcoming to me and my aunt and uncle have a lot of business in the US so i'll get to see them a couple times a year which will be amazing I'm worried about all of the little things that i'm going to have to relearn because they do it differently over there. There's so many things that i do without thinking and come naturally to me that all of a sudden i'm gonna have to start thinking about .....

sorry for the rant....i read this post and all of a sudden felt the need to vent, lol

[fozzie 41]

The only way to start to feel at 'home' is to find things to do and meet people. Friends are one of the most important ways to settle in to a new place and the easiest way to do this is to find hobbies and interestes outside of work and your SO where you can meet like minded individuals.

For me, playing football and having somewhere to watch the English Premier League with other fans were the two biggest factors in how quickly i settled here.

[Aridon 1]

My husband really doesn't have a lot of friends, and his family is a bit distant. He works many hours and I am at the apt alone most of the time. Sometimes we go out but the city (small city- big town)doesn't really offer much of cultural opportunities. It is not just because, that I wrote this threat in here...It is really bittersweet (as somebody wrote before). How do you guys deal with the fear of crime? Do you feel safe? I don't, the place I live has 150% more violent crime than the nation's average, we live an hour from New Orleans. He says nothing happens around here but when I read the local newspaper it shows different. We are in a very nice and "safe" area but still. He also doesn't have siblings, only some cousins that are very far away from me intellectually to find any common ground. People are nice here, simple...I do not have any kind of intellectual or social stimulation. I asked him to try and move to Cary NC when our lease is over...maybe I will find that feeling Of "belonging" in there.

[Aridon 1]

This is something that i'm starting to worry about. I'm due to leave Australia in four weeks and i can't wait to be back with my Travis. But....all of a sudden i'm sooooo scared about leaving. don't get me wrong, i'm not having any second thoughts at all, this is what i want, what we want and we've been doing everythings we can to try and prepare ourselves for the move. But i'm just scared about nothing feeling comfortable, nothing being familiar and not having my family around me :/ He does have a really great group of friends though that i get along with rather well and i know that they will be very welcoming to me and my aunt and uncle have a lot of business in the US so i'll get to see them a couple times a year which will be amazing I'm worried about all of the little things that i'm going to have to relearn because they do it differently over there. There's so many things that i do without thinking and come naturally to me that all of a sudden i'm gonna have to start thinking about .....

sorry for the rant....i read this post and all of a sudden felt the need to vent, lol

Yes, we all sacrifice so much leaving our lives behind. Some people are stronger than others I would guess, and overcome the challenges easier than other.IT is a good thing to share feelings with others, it always helped me in a way. Transitions are hard. I remember when I was a child and our parents immigrated to Israel from Argentina, I cried at nights during an entired year, I wanted to go back so bad! But after many years living there I couldn't even imagine living in that country again. Takes time and also doing research about the place you are going to live at (like learning maps, watching videos, searching statistics) can give you the sense of control over the situation...it did for me.

[M&Pooh 12]

Louisiana

Which city are you in?

I'm near Baton Rouge, LA. Moved here 3 weeks ago and can totally relate to what you're saying. Never thought I would miss Toronto that much - and I mean the city itself... I know that eventually we'll adjust but right now everything just feels so different here in the South.

[yorkshirerose22 4]

My husband really doesn't have a lot of friends, and his family is a bit distant. He works many hours and I am at the apt alone most of the time. Sometimes we go out but the city (small city- big town)doesn't really offer much of cultural opportunities. It is not just because, that I wrote this threat in here...It is really bittersweet (as somebody wrote before). How do you guys deal with the fear of crime? Do you feel safe? I don't, the place I live has 150% more violent crime than the nation's average, we live an hour from New Orleans. He says nothing happens around here but when I read the local newspaper it shows different. We are in a very nice and "safe" area but still. He also doesn't have siblings, only some cousins that are very far away from me intellectually to find any common ground. People are nice here, simple...I do not have any kind of intellectual or social stimulation. I asked him to try and move to Cary NC when our lease is over...maybe I will find that feeling Of "belonging" in there.

Hi, i really can relate to this subject, and reading what everyone has said it is exactly how i feel.

I have been here 1 year and 5 months and i still have no friends, my only friend is my husband. I am very happy with my husband and i have a wonderful marriage and i wouldnt change it, but iam finding it hard to feel at home.

I miss my family so much, its been along time since i saw any of them, my dad is coming out in October for 3 weeks and i am very excited.

The medical system i HATE so much, back in the uk its different. This country needs to figure something out, coz u pay all that money and the medical doesnt always seem that great either.. they are more concerned about getting yr money than providing medical service.

The crime does scare me too, knowing the fact that people can have guns, and people on tv in a police chase, dont think i ever saw that in England on tv, especially where i lived and u dont see people with gun, even the police dont have guns.

I still dont have a job, last year i worked couple of days at macys round x mas time, but it was a complete nightmare and i wouldnt recommend working there if u have never done retail jobs before ( like me ) . I have been applying for jobs but not getting any call backs.

Tomorrow i am going to a orientation to do volunteery work for the city i live in, i love animal and i am not able to have one becouse we live with my father in law and he doesnt want pets so im going to volunteer for animal shelter ect, hopefully it will help open job oppertunitys and ill meet people and hopefully make friends, but i am feeling very nervous.

I want to go walking but its always so hot, i live in Southern California, im used to cool days and rain in England lol.

Last month i tried walking, trying to push myself to get out on my own and trying to learn my way round,it was coming up to my husband birthday so i thought id walk to hallmark to buy a card , i even printed a map to where i was going just in case i got lost but i missed calculated the distance and it turned out to be far but i did make it there, i was wet through and dehydrated, it turned out a hot day, i ran out of water and i had blisters on my feet, i didnt see a bus go by, My husband was at work and so was my father-in-law, i got half way back home, my husband managed to get hold of his dad to come pick me up, i had a bad head ache all night/next day. My father in law said i shouldnt walk when its hot, but its hot all the time.

So after that experience i never wanted to go out again lol, im used to eveything being so close being from a small town in England.

Everbody keeping saying it take time but how long is that??? I feel i should be settled already and i wonder if its me.

I have just started to learn to drive on these huge crazy roads and it scary.. i hate not being able to drive and having to rely on others or bulic transport. (always been a issue)

I really wish also i didnt live with my father in law, alot of the times i do feel awkward, and more pressure of not working, and of course not being able to just do thing i want, like having a pet, decorating ( the house is still living in the 70s lol ), garderning lol.

They are many people i know feel the same, and it good that we can all talk about it together, who knows we might meet people who are living close.

They isnt great night life either, without having to travel far.

Think iv rambled on to much lol

Edited September 16, 2011 by yorkshirerose22

[Aridon 1]

Which city are you in?

I'm near Baton Rouge, LA. Moved here 3 weeks ago and can totally relate to what you're saying. Never thought I would miss Toronto that much - and I mean the city itself... I know that eventually we'll adjust but right now everything just feels so different here in the South.

Just search the crime rates in where you live, I live in Houma...I just can't adapt. New Orleans has a lot of history and its very own culture...well...it dosn't do anything for me...I feel completely disconnected from everything. Again, the people are lovely but the general socioeconomical level is far from what I am used to. I miss home

[Aridon 1]

Hi, i really can relate to this subject, and reading what everyone has said it is exactly how i feel.

I have been here 1 year and 5 months and i still have no friends, my only friend is my husband. I am very happy with my husband and i have a wonderful marriage and i wouldnt change it, but iam finding it hard to feel at home.

I miss my family so much, its been along time since i saw any of them, my dad is coming out in October for 3 weeks and i am very excited.

The medical system i HATE so much, back in the uk its different. This country needs to figure something out, coz u pay all that money and the medical doesnt always seem that great either.. they are more concerned about getting yr money than providing medical service.

The crime does scare me too, knowing the fact that people can have guns, and people on tv in a police chase, dont think i ever saw that in England on tv, especially where i lived and u dont see people with gun, even the police dont have guns.

I still dont have a job, last year i worked couple of days at macys round x mas time, but it was a complete nightmare and i wouldnt recommend working there if u have never done retail jobs before ( like me ) . I have been applying for jobs but not getting any call backs.

Tomorrow i am going to a orientation to do volunteery work for the city i live in, i love animal and i am not able to have one becouse we live with my father in law and he doesnt want pets so im going to volunteer for animal shelter ect, hopefully it will help open job oppertunitys and ill meet people and hopefully make friends, but i am feeling very nervous.

I want to go walking but its always so hot, i live in Southern California, im used to cool days and rain in England lol.

Last month i tried walking, trying to push myself to get out on my own and trying to learn my way round,it was coming up to my husband birthday so i thought id walk to hallmark to buy a card , i even printed a map to where i was going just in case i got lost but i missed calculated the distance and it turned out to be far but i did make it there, i was wet through and dehydrated, it turned out a hot day, i ran out of water and i had blisters on my feet, i didnt see a bus go by, My husband was at work and so was my father-in-law, i got half way back home, my husband managed to get hold of his dad to come pick me up, i had a bad head ache all night/next day. My father in law said i shouldnt walk when its hot, but its hot all the time.

So after that experience i never wanted to go out again lol, im used to eveything being so close being from a small town in England.

Everbody keeping saying it take time but how long is that??? I feel i should be settled already and i wonder if its me.

I have just started to learn to drive on these huge crazy roads and it scary.. i hate not being able to drive and having to rely on others or bulic transport. (always been a issue)

I really wish also i didnt live with my father in law, alot of the times i do feel awkward, and more pressure of not working, and of course not being able to just do thing i want, like having a pet, decorating ( the house is still living in the 70s lol ), garderning lol.

They are many people i know feel the same, and it good that we can all talk about it together, who knows we might meet people who are living close.

They isnt great night life either, without having to travel far.

Think iv rambled on to much lol

Yes, the gun situation... I am not used to it. I got my SSN and I will get a drivers license soon but...will I drive??? I am paralized with fear of being carjacket or abducted or robbed...I do not know if my feelings are being influenced by my general anxiety of being new here or...because the statistics say different.I would never walk by myself out there...fear paralizes me.

I think we all should be friends to each other...at least a good thing will come out of theses messages.

Regarding the health care system...doctors are always protecting themselves and hidding their names and their license numbers. When I had to go to the hospital I didnt know who examined me (lol if you could call that an examination!), I do not know what was the diagnosis, nothing...they just sent me home with 3 different types of pain killers and fiber LOL....and because i didnt have insurance I have to pay 1250 dollars for absolutely nothing. Back in Israel it is against the law for a doctor not to disclose his name and professional license. They ask what you feel before the examination (they write it down), then the doctor writes what he did (what tests he recommended) and what he found. Then they sign and put a seal on the papers. Even if you have blood tests or x rays THEY GIVE IT BACK TO YOU...here...nothing...they kept it all...I dont know anything about absolutely anything...I am in shock. Oh yeah and I didnt mention that Israel health system is completely free including medication, also in Argentina the health system is free and some medications...

I do not intent to start comparing between countries, but the reality of things in here is bad.How do people live their lives in here sorrounded by crime and bad health services I dont know. I don't expect big things from a country but at least to live with the BASICS. Once my husbend and I went to visit the zoo in New Orleans and made a wrong turn, we were suddenly in a place with at least 300 homeless ppl lying in the streets and walking like zombies...I was scared but seeing those images was just heartbraking, they were less than human beings, I mean omg! how can citizens be treated like that? why arent there institutions to help them? to treat them and try to revive them as productive people...is all about money, money, money....and guess what? many Americans would answer to my posts with an attitude "If you don't like it go back to where you come from"...and yes, I have though about it. It is a new life for me, so anything is open right now.