what to say

[googled 13]

My fiance has seemed more depressed over the last few days about this whole process taking so long. We are getting close to the end. We are waiting for the embassy to give us an interview date now. It really does hurt worse the closer you get to the end.

She seemed really depressed this morning. She says people in the village ask her why it takes so long. They know other women with farang husbands and it did not take this long. I am so tired of hearing and saying things like, "Just hang in there, it will be over before you know it" and "Good things come to those who wait. What do I say to her when she wonders why it has to take so long?

[Love Eth 14]

My fiance has seemed more depressed over the last few days about this whole process taking so long. We are getting close to the end. We are waiting for the embassy to give us an interview date now. It really does hurt worse the closer you get to the end.

She seemed really depressed this morning. She says people in the village ask her why it takes so long. They know other women with farang husbands and it did not take this long. I am so tired of hearing and saying things like, "Just hang in there, it will be over before you know it" and "Good things come to those who wait. What do I say to her when she wonders why it has to take so long?

I think what matter is the result of the interview not what the neighbors are saying. Tell her to hang on and focus on the big day. The interview day is the big one. She has to focus on that and study all the facts she got. Mine took almost 5 months and now it is on AP at the embassy. Some other people who started at the same time got their loved ones already to US. There is nothing you can do. But encourage her to stay strong and focus herself on the interview time.

Good luck

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

My fiance has seemed more depressed over the last few days about this whole process taking so long. We are getting close to the end. We are waiting for the embassy to give us an interview date now. It really does hurt worse the closer you get to the end.

She seemed really depressed this morning. She says people in the village ask her why it takes so long. They know other women with farang husbands and it did not take this long. I am so tired of hearing and saying things like, "Just hang in there, it will be over before you know it" and "Good things come to those who wait. What do I say to her when she wonders why it has to take so long?

Just hang in there and it will be over before you know it. Good things come to those that wait. I might add..."Three years from now you will look back and laugh at this."

You could also try...

And can you believe some people think they should handle our health care?

Edited September 4, 2011 by Gary and Alla

[Ning 619]

My fiance has seemed more depressed over the last few days about this whole process taking so long. We are getting close to the end. We are waiting for the embassy to give us an interview date now. It really does hurt worse the closer you get to the end.

She seemed really depressed this morning. She says people in the village ask her why it takes so long. They know other women with farang husbands and it did not take this long. I am so tired of hearing and saying things like, "Just hang in there, it will be over before you know it" and "Good things come to those who wait. What do I say to her when she wonders why it has to take so long?

I heard all of this from the locals as well. These people simply dont know what they are talking about nor the damage they are doing. People tried to tell me my husband could pay corruption money to get my visa quickly for example. Everyone driving a tuk tuk seems to be an immigration expert. Some are refering to immigrating to countries other than the USA. I know a few that went to England which really was faster. Or Australia.

Ask what she has done to prepare herself for the dramatic change ahead. Ask her what she knows of the USA or the place & people she will soon be living in & around. There is much to be done thats more productive than listening to the nay sayers. Thai people are very negitive about what they dont understand.

It takes so long because we want what we believe to be a better life so much. The journey to that life is down a long road but at the end is freedom for one thing. Freedom that she has waited a lifetime to experiance & took a long time to create. It takes a long time to be granted the privilage of entering the USA. The price we pay for the chance to have that privilage is small compared to the lifetime of opportunity it gives us.

[googled 13]

I heard all of this from the locals as well. These people simply dont know what they are talking about nor the damage they are doing. People tried to tell me my husband could pay corruption money to get my visa quickly for example. Everyone driving a tuk tuk seems to be an immigration expert. Some are refering to immigrating to countries other than the USA. I know a few that went to England which really was faster. Or Australia.

Yes i agree the locals all like to talk and believe they all know more than they do but they are doing more harm than good. The wait is hard enough as it is, but then everytime she sees them they say "Why is it taking so long, I thought you would be gone by now" it brings my fiance down.

Germany is the country that some of them are referring to. There was some girls that went to Germany from her village and it only took them a couple of months. These people from the countryside that our her neighbors and family have a hard time understanding that different countries do things differently I think.

[Karee 4,190]

I went through this. Since I filed for K-3 as well as IR-1, I told her to ignore the K-3 paperwork. That didn't go over well. It all ended fine. I still scratch my head trying to figure out why it takes 30 days to go to an E.U. country, but one year to come to the U.S.

People b!tch and complain about illegal immigration, but when you do it the right/legal way it takes a year. Just hang in there.

[Nonchalante 3]

I have never been in the same situation but I think I understand how she feels. Well, some people (especially in small villages) just mind too much on other business. Your fiancee can't stop them talking, so just ignore them, let them say or ask whatever they want. I see your timeline and it is normal, others' cases wait about the same time.

Like other comments said that she should be focusing on something else, I'm sure she will get the interview date soon. Cheers!

P.S. Agreed with Pii Ning that UK's processing is really fast, it takes only up to 12 weeks for the marriage immigrant visa.

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

I have a question. How the hockeysticks did you get a NOA2 (from VSC) in 107 days?

Let your fiancee know that your case is moving much faster than most VSCers.

[NoneYa 73]

This pressure from outsiders is worse than the process. People in a village have nothing else to do most likely than talk about others. Maybe you could tell her to handle it with humor. She could explain to them that "My US fiance got eaten by an Aligator and I am not going anymore." Then maybe they will all shut up. Meanwhile she will know in the background that everything is still going ahead. That will get them off her back.

I just got off Skype with my fiance in the Philippines. She told me to stop telling people. The reason is we have gotten postive responses and negative responses from USA family and friends. We both agreed that it is better just to be quiet about it and let them judge us when they see us together and not before. People can be so hurtful. It really is nobody's business but yours and the US government.

Your fiancee was obviously excited to tell others but since they are doing nothing but harming her with their words, she might try the diversion tactic that I mentioned above or tell them that you died in a plane crash or something and smile when she says it.

I think I will use the same advice when someone ask me about my fiance. I will tell them she was kidnapped by Abu Sayyaf or something like that.

Sorry for your pain.

[Tahoma 2,292]

You could also try...

And can you believe some people think they should handle our health care?

They already do. Have you ever heard of Medicare, Medicaid, or the VA?

[bigdog 376]

The goal is the end not the beginning. K1 is abut 6 months beginning to end with Visa. This is just one of the slow parts, wait till AOS.

[hikergirl 277]

I would tell her that you love her very much and if you could make it go faster you would. As for the others that supposedly did it faster - tell her to tell people that you are making sure that you do everything correctly and legally so there is no chance ever that she will have to be separated from you again.

[Amy_and_Victor 159]

What do I say to her when she wonders why it has to take so long?

Long? It's even not 6 months since you got NOA1 and it's already last days of waiting interview/visa as I understand. It's really not a long time, many people waiting for the 8-9 months between NOA1 and interview. And many people waiting up to 5 months just between NOA1 and NOA2. So just tell her that your timing isn't very long, it's absolutely OK. It's Victor from Russia writing.

[Helen Louise Pile 80]

How are you keeping in touch? Maybe you can record your day. Send her a recording of you walking to work and have people wave, say they can't wait to meet her etc...

Maybe you can take pictures of all the preparations you are making for her arrival? Find a Thai store and buy some home comforts?

If it's close to the interview than it's also'getting real' now. She might be nervous about moving??

It's too bad people in her village are not supporting her. She needs someone there to cheer her up and take her mind off it all!

Good luck!

[David79 7]

They already do. Have you ever heard of Medicare, Medicaid, or the VA?

And those are all very efficient and run smoothly and quickly with no wasted money, right?