Limbo Land.

[Vicky and Larry 27]

Firstly, I will apologise if I have posted this in the wrong place? I don't think it's in the wrong place, but it's not about Visa process queries, or waiting times, or RFE's or any of the procedures surrounding emigrating via the K1 visa.

I would like to know what aspects of people's lives are in limbo, apart from waiting to be united with their loved ones?

Here's mine:

Today I was checking out Facebook and I saw that one of the friends I had made from being on an undergraduate psychology course here in the U.K, was updating their work/career/education information. She has been accepted into Teachers College Columbia University in New York. I was really happy for her and congratulated her, but I also experienced this sense of longing for more than my fiance. I miss studying and working towards actualizing my career goals. SO MUCH!!!

I decided that once we began our petition that it would be best for me to stop my studies here and focus on getting employment. I received the transcript of the credits I have all ready accrued and sent it over to my fiance. I plan on attending a good school that's not to far from where I will live with my faince.

Today, just felt hard, because although my life with my fiance means everything to me, I have had to make sacrifices for us to have a future together, albeit in the short-term, but nonetheless sacrifices. Don't get me wrong I don't regret those choices, but I really miss living the life that sees me progressing with my other life dreams.

This is just a temporary feeling, but it really grabbed a hold of me. I miss studying, I miss doing all the things that are associated to my long-term career plans, the things that stir-up that fire in my belly, and instead I have a blah 9-5 job. Most days I am grateful that I am fortunate enough to have a blah 9-5 job, one that will help to pay for bills and pay for visa stuff. I just miss that part of my life today. I do my best not to see this interim period as limbo, but sometimes I am reminded that there is a lot of my life that is on hold.

I think it's good to acknowledge these feelings, express them, feel them and then move on....

[Vicky and Larry 27]

I hope this post doesn't just drop off the face of the forum. I really would like to hear other people's experiences.

[Vicky and Larry 27]

Today is just one of those tough days.

[lyndsaycribbs 17]

I can relate to you completely and some days that feeling can feel like it will overwhelm you.

I put my studies on hold also, I moved back to my mums with my son to get a job and save the money needed for this process. We moved away from friends, my son changed schools, I hate my job, everything is taking much longer than we thought it would. Its not an easy journey to take, even though we all know it will be more than worth it.

Hang in there

[Miss smarty pants 84]

Firstly, I will apologise if I have posted this in the wrong place? I don't think it's in the wrong place, but it's not about Visa process queries, or waiting times, or RFE's or any of the procedures surrounding emigrating via the K1 visa.

I would like to know what aspects of people's lives are in limbo, apart from waiting to be united with their loved ones?

Here's mine:

Today I was checking out Facebook and I saw that one of the friends I had made from being on an undergraduate psychology course here in the U.K, was updating their work/career/education information. She has been accepted into Teachers College Columbia University in New York. I was really happy for her and congratulated her, but I also experienced this sense of longing for more than my fiance. I miss studying and working towards actualizing my career goals. SO MUCH!!!

I decided that once we began our petition that it would be best for me to stop my studies here and focus on getting employment. I received the transcript of the credits I have all ready accrued and sent it over to my fiance. I plan on attending a good school that's not to far from where I will live with my faince.

Today, just felt hard, because although my life with my fiance means everything to me, I have had to make sacrifices for us to have a future together, albeit in the short-term, but nonetheless sacrifices. Don't get me wrong I don't regret those choices, but I really miss living the life that sees me progressing with my other life dreams.

This is just a temporary feeling, but it really grabbed a hold of me. I miss studying, I miss doing all the things that are associated to my long-term career plans, the things that stir-up that fire in my belly, and instead I have a blah 9-5 job. Most days I am grateful that I am fortunate enough to have a blah 9-5 job, one that will help to pay for bills and pay for visa stuff. I just miss that part of my life today. I do my best not to see this interim period as limbo, but sometimes I am reminded that there is a lot of my life that is on hold.

I think it's good to acknowledge these feelings, express them, feel them and then move on....

[Michael & Amy 3]

I miss being able to make plans. I'm a planner. With so much wrapped up in the mysterious ways of USCIS/DOS/etc, waiting for my fiance, I have basically no plans for the next year. Gotta wait and see what happens. Not having a plan is very difficult for me.

This is a great topic - thanks for bringing it up. I'm the USC, but I can relate to what you are saying.

[Vicky and Larry 27]

I can relate to you completely and some days that feeling can feel like it will overwhelm you.

I put my studies on hold also, I moved back to my mums with my son to get a job and save the money needed for this process. We moved away from friends, my son changed schools, I hate my job, everything is taking much longer than we thought it would. Its not an easy journey to take, even though we all know it will be more than worth it.

Hang in there

Thank you!

I made very similar changes....gave up my apartment and am living in shared accommodation. My son is 16 living with my mother. I can appreciate how you feel too. Thank you for sharing. Sending you a virtual hug. And, yes it will be worth it in the long run, but I don't think people who have not experienced this can truly appreciate how it can feel at times.

[Vicky and Larry 27]

I miss being able to make plans. I'm a planner. With so much wrapped up in the mysterious ways of USCIS/DOS/etc, waiting for my fiance, I have basically no plans for the next year. Gotta wait and see what happens. Not having a plan is very difficult for me.

This is a great topic - thanks for bringing it up. I'm the USC, but I can relate to what you are saying.

As soon as I read this I smiled, because I am a great planner like yourself too! I have had to make do with making small plans, micro plans...it is tough when you are a planner. I have had my career/education plans clear in my mind for so long, and taking a break has been tough.

It's soooo good to be able to relate to these stories.

THANK YOU!

[Miss smarty pants 84]

I share mine as well. I had just been accepted to a masters program before I met my now husband. The plan was that I would apply for him and start my courses and I thought he would be here my first semester. And we both want a baby. I was 34 when we began this process. I would have finished school and we would be having our baby by now. But..... Life has played a cruel joke on us. The first visa was denied at consulate and I was too stressed to focus on school. So I have no masters degree yet, no baby, my husband is still in morocco and im 36 now so I feel like I just watch my opportunity to ever start a familydwindle away slowly with each padding month.

There was a time also when I used to go on vacations with my family and friends. But I havent done that now in almost three years. I use all my extra money and vacation time now to see my husband. So I really miss spending holidays with my family out of state. I never hardly see my mom and dad anymore.

This is hard for a lot more reasons than just the separation. Without my husband, my whole life is on hold. It is literally like being ripped in half.

I hope it goes quickly for you.

[bigdog 376]

Everyone puts something n hold to do this, it is hard on all parties, the waiting, discussing, discussion how to do it and what to do when it gets slow. Do work and school both if you have time.

[B_J 2,752]

For me, it's not major things that are missing, it's little things. For instance, there are so many things to do where I live, but I'm not really doing them anymore. Sporting events, amusement parks, music events, etc..... things I would normally like I'm avoiding right now. I found early in the process that when I'm doing something I really enjoy, I usually end up thinking about how much more I will enjoy it when she's finally here with me. Then I end up being sad at something I'm supposed to be enjoying. So now I'm sort of making a list of all the things I want us to do together when she's here; because I really don't feel like doing these things alone anymore.

Luckily, she should be here soon.

Good luck on your journey.

[Vicky and Larry 27]

I share mine as well. I had just been accepted to a masters program before I met my now husband. The plan was that I would apply for him and start my courses and I thought he would be here my first semester. And we both want a baby. I was 34 when we began this process. I would have finished school and we would be having our baby by now. But..... Life has played a cruel joke on us. The first visa was denied at consulate and I was too stressed to focus on school. So I have no masters degree yet, no baby, my husband is still in morocco and im 36 now so I feel like I just watch my opportunity to ever start a familydwindle away slowly with each padding month.

There was a time also when I used to go on vacations with my family and friends. But I havent done that now in almost three years. I use all my extra money and vacation time now to see my husband. So I really miss spending holidays with my family out of state. I never hardly see my mom and dad anymore.

This is hard for a lot more reasons than just the separation. Without my husband, my whole life is on hold. It is literally like being ripped in half.

I hope it goes quickly for you.

That's a tough story. I really hope the universe eases up on you and you get to be together full-time very soon. I guess, when things are that stressful you just have to be thankful that you have found someone you love so much and who loves you back.

I really hope you have some good news real soon.

I hope it helped sharing. One day you will be a great mum I am sure.

Sending out good thoughts for you.

[Helen Louise Pile 80]

Firstly, I will apologise if I have posted this in the wrong place? I don't think it's in the wrong place, but it's not about Visa process queries, or waiting times, or RFE's or any of the procedures surrounding emigrating via the K1 visa.

I would like to know what aspects of people's lives are in limbo, apart from waiting to be united with their loved ones?

Here's mine:

Today I was checking out Facebook and I saw that one of the friends I had made from being on an undergraduate psychology course here in the U.K, was updating their work/career/education information. She has been accepted into Teachers College Columbia University in New York. I was really happy for her and congratulated her, but I also experienced this sense of longing for more than my fiance. I miss studying and working towards actualizing my career goals. SO MUCH!!!

I decided that once we began our petition that it would be best for me to stop my studies here and focus on getting employment. I received the transcript of the credits I have all ready accrued and sent it over to my fiance. I plan on attending a good school that's not to far from where I will live with my faince.

Today, just felt hard, because although my life with my fiance means everything to me, I have had to make sacrifices for us to have a future together, albeit in the short-term, but nonetheless sacrifices. Don't get me wrong I don't regret those choices, but I really miss living the life that sees me progressing with my other life dreams.

This is just a temporary feeling, but it really grabbed a hold of me. I miss studying, I miss doing all the things that are associated to my long-term career plans, the things that stir-up that fire in my belly, and instead I have a blah 9-5 job. Most days I am grateful that I am fortunate enough to have a blah 9-5 job, one that will help to pay for bills and pay for visa stuff. I just miss that part of my life today. I do my best not to see this interim period as limbo, but sometimes I am reminded that there is a lot of my life that is on hold.

I think it's good to acknowledge these feelings, express them, feel them and then move on....

I think most people can relate to what you are feeling here!

You basically have to put your life on hold for a year. But that doesn't have to be a bad thing. You are doing a K1 which means even once you get here you will be in limbo. While you file for AOS you cannot attend school or work. (you can apply for work authorization but that takes time too) It's hard!

It's time to use this opportunity to your advantage and get creative! I used my K1 waiting time to see as much family as possible, even those I had never met. I visited places and said goodbye for now to Scotland. I moved back in with my folks while my husband set things up over here and I worked, used the time to enjoy my folks and did lots of errands and paperwork when it was required. I travelled to London for my medical and interview. Bought my wedding dress etc. It's a transitional period.

Then you come here, get married and file a bunch of paperwork.

I decided to use the time to make connections and see if I could make a change in my career. I volunteered full time until got my greencard and l just got a job because of that experience.(it really really helps to be able to list American references on your CV!) You can audit classes until you have your greencard. (attend, do the assignments but you can't get a grade. You have to get permission but I found schools very willing to let me do this). That will help you get recognised at a good school and make connections there. It will also help you prepare for studying again and you'll meet people.

So...get creative and use your 'limbo' time to have fun! You have to build a life here in the US and it'll be a lot of fun!

Helen

[Vicky and Larry 27]

Everyone puts something n hold to do this, it is hard on all parties, the waiting, discussing, discussion how to do it and what to do when it gets slow. Do work and school both if you have time.

True dat!

I just read articles and keep myself up-to-date and informed.

[Vicky and Larry 27]

I think most people can relate to what you are feeling here!

You basically have to put your life on hold for a year. But that doesn't have to be a bad thing. You are doing a K1 which means even once you get here you will be in limbo. While you file for AOS you cannot attend school or work. (you can apply for work authorization but that takes time too) It's hard!

It's time to use this opportunity to your advantage and get creative! I used my K1 waiting time to see as much family as possible, even those I had never met. I visited places and said goodbye for now to Scotland. I moved back in with my folks while my husband set things up over here and I worked, used the time to enjoy my folks and did lots of errands and paperwork when it was required. I travelled to London for my medical and interview. Bought my wedding dress etc. It's a transitional period.

Then you come here, get married and file a bunch of paperwork.

I decided to use the time to make connections and see if I could make a change in my career. I volunteered full time until got my greencard and l just got a job because of that experience.(it really really helps to be able to list American references on your CV!) You can audit classes until you have your greencard. (attend, do the assignments but you can't get a grade. You have to get permission but I found schools very willing to let me do this). That will help you get recognised at a good school and make connections there. It will also help you prepare for studying again and you'll meet people.

So...get creative and use your 'limbo' time to have fun! You have to build a life here in the US and it'll be a lot of fun!

Helen

Wow!

It's so wonderful to hear from someone whose made it to the other side (as it were). I agree with EVERYTHING you have said. And, for the most part I have been treating this transition as a time to enjoy the parts of my life here that will change once I am out there. You just gave me some invaluable advice about volunteering and schools. I was hoping I could volunteer while I was waiting for everything to go through. Yay! I have accepted that it may be up to three months before all the paper work goes through state side and I can work etc.

You have a great attitude, Helen one that I share.

Thanks for sharing and congratulations on making it.