Praying for rain

[Captain Oates 911]

So Governor Perry has a religious/political meeting to call for rain to end the crippling drought in Texas

Big hats are doffed and the knees are worn out of Levi jeans and boot toes are scuffed as the Texas cow farmers get down on their knees and talk in tongues

blabalabaawolabibdungfabunga they wail.. then they look up hoping to see a jewish guy with blue yes and long blond hair, from the bronze age, come through the blue Texas sky commanding rain clouds to follow him like fluffy lambs

Nothing happens

Of course it isnt that god doesn't exist - so why ?

Are the Texans incapable of praying hard enough ?

Have they offended that single guy who never married by making their State an attractive place for married homosexual tourism ?

Is it their failure to do another Dallas on the current President ?

Why has their god abandoned them ? What does he require of them ? What mysterious message is he trying to send ?

Is Jesus too busy trying to figure out how his flock can watch the Packers and the Saints and the Presidential address all at the same time ?

I think he is punishing them for threatening to secede from the greatest nation that has ever existed in the history of the world (quote: Mitt Romney)

What do you think ? Why is prayer not enough ?

and remember - praying in tongues in the shopping mall toilet stalls could get you into trouble with the security guards

Edited September 2, 2011 by Alan the Red

[Harsh_77 718]

So Governor Perry has a religious/political meeting to call for rain to end the crippling drought in Texas

Big hats are doffed and the knees are worn out of Levi jeans and boot toes are scuffed as the Texas cow farmers get down on their knees and talk in tongues

blabalabaawolabibdungfabunga they wail.. then they look up hoping to see a jewish guy with blue yes and long blond hair, from the bronze age, come through the blue Texas sky commanding rain clouds to follow him like fluffy lambs

Nothing happens

Of course it isnt that god doesn't exist - so why ?

Are the Texans incapable of praying hard enough ?

Have they offended that single guy who never married by making their State an attractive place for married homosexual tourism ?

Is it their failure to do another Dallas on the current President ?

Why has their god abandoned them ? What does he require of them ? What mysterious message is he trying to send ?

Is Jesus too busy trying to figure out how his flock can watch the Packers and the Saints and the Presidential address all at the same time ?

I think he is punishing them for threatening to secede from the greatest nation that has ever existed in the history of the world (quote: Mitt Romney)

What do you think ? Why is prayer not enough ?

and remember - praying in tongues in the shopping mall toilet stalls could get you into trouble with the security guards

lol this is funny.....

If God is punishing Texas for threatening to secede, what is going on with East coast with Hurricane and Earthquake??? lol

[Captain Oates 911]

lol this is funny.....

If God is punishing Texas for threatening to secede, what is going on with East coast with Hurricane and Earthquake??? lol

Oh that's easy - thats to do with the budget cuts which are not deep enough and don't close enough schools (quote: Michelle Barkingmadman). Jesus likes closing schools and is really ticked off.

[BishopM 114]

Praying is hard work.

[Captain Oates 911]

Praying is hard work.

I was a primitive methodist until I was 10. I was told I was so I was. Most people are of the same religion that they are told they were. I guess you are ?

When I was 10 I had to take the primitive methodist pledge 'the pledge', to stay away from women and booze or satan would torture me to eternity like ####### Cheney with a hangover and toothache who had just learned that a black man was moving in next door.

I resigned immediately although I didnt have a beer until I was 18 and I didnt kiss a girl until I was 21

Not exactly a devil's rampage once I left the guiding hand of Jesus and the grey suited unsmiling methodists and their hard wooden benches

Meanwhile, all the christians at school were smoking, boozing and bonking like there was no eternity. It seemed that christians were having all the fun.

I later found that catholicism could make me happy in that I started sleeping with catholic girls exclusively. They find is so awesomely dirty and devilish that it gives them a great buzz like no other - and me not being in their church meant I couldn't tell anyone they knew.

So religion has contributed to my happiness - in a way

Edited September 2, 2011 by Alan the Red

[BishopM 114]

I am of the same religion as what I was told to be as a child: Catholic. Yep, that is true. However, I think I would be a much better Catholic if I didn't have the baggage that came with it, as it was given to me, as a kid. I gave it up by the time I was 15 or so...

Probably for the next 20 years or so I was like the Catholics to which you refer...boozing etc...just running around. I never thought God was far from me at all, and he'd still stick a thorn (or a blessing) in my side from time to time. I never stopped believing and I still had a good life. I still like my beer and wine

I guess it was when I was 37 or so, about 10 years ago, when I started my trek back to Catholicism. It didn't happen through the traditional route of just going back to Church or rediscovering the Bible. In fact, and this is going to sound odd coming from a Catholic, but I would be Catholic even without the Bible or the Church In my studies and direct/indirect experiences I just came to the realization that Catholicism is what I believe in and I think its the closest thing that I can find to the truth. Plus, it offers a lot of practical methodologies for drawing one close to God...so there is a rigor to it...and when effort meets rigor it can often lead to success...or so we shall see...

Blessings,

B

[Captain Oates 911]

I am of the same religion as what I was told to be as a child: Catholic. Yep, that is true. However, I think I would be a much better Catholic if I didn't have the baggage that came with it, as it was given to me, as a kid. I gave it up by the time I was 15 or so...

Probably for the next 20 years or so I was like the Catholics to which you refer...boozing etc...just running around. I never thought God was far from me at all, and he'd still stick a thorn (or a blessing) in my side from time to time. I never stopped believing and I still had a good life. I still like my beer and wine

I guess it was when I was 37 or so, about 10 years ago, when I started my trek back to Catholicism. It didn't happen through the traditional route of just going back to Church or rediscovering the Bible. In fact, and this is going to sound odd coming from a Catholic, but I would be Catholic even without the Bible or the Church In my studies and direct/indirect experiences I just came to the realization that Catholicism is what I believe in and I think its the closest thing that I can find to the truth. Plus, it offers a lot of practical methodologies for drawing one close to God...so there is a rigor to it...and when effort meets rigor it can often lead to success...or so we shall see...

Blessings,

B

Yes if I was forced to chose a religion (again). I would be a Catholic because basically you can do what you want and as long as you repent and mean it, you get a free pass. Those stingy Methodists never gave me anything like that - it was the eternal fires for the first offense and no probation.

Of course there are some problems like the priest's mission statement 'No child's behind left' etc

Me and my dad used to deliver whisky to the priests residencies and they all had a 'housekeeper' and some of em were mega-slinky. So it's not true that they are all homosexuals.

I think they should let those guys marry and that would leave them without sex or desire and so solve the problem.

(I have beem married 3 times and spent 18 years hanging out with divorced guys - so I know my subject)

Apart from that, keepings saint's finger bones in glass jars etc would put me off - although my wife has baseball cards from the 70's and that's not much different

..and the Turin shroud ? I got a sacking cloth (for paint spills) from Lowe's to lay my inflatable boat on and it's a dead ringer for the Turin shroud. If there was no Lowes in Rome then that would be proof that the shroud is genuine.

A final thought - if Jesus had been executed 20 years ago, Catholic children would be walking round with little electric chairs on chains round their necks...

Hey catholism is no 1 coz you get free wine and chapatis at every mass. Some catholic girls took me to midnight mass at xmas once - straight from the pub. We stood at the back and the girls were burping and farting while I was quite the gentleman. Everyone was looking at us !

So let nobody say I have never been exposed to religion

Edited September 2, 2011 by Alan the Red

[natty bumppo 297]

I later found that catholicism could make me happy in that I started sleeping with catholic girls exclusively. They find is so awesomely dirty and devilish that it gives them a great buzz like no other - and me not being in their church meant I couldn't tell anyone they knew.

does this indicate ... that you've had religious experiences?

[Captain Oates 911]

does this indicate ... that you've had religious experiences?

I wasn't thinking of how many feathers in an angel's wing at the time but I can report that their crucifixes didn't burn me - so I can't be so bad or I would have been vaporized...

However, only the good die young and I am middle aged, so being allowed to live on and reduced to watching either Paris Hilton or Rick Perry on telly is my punishment

Perhaps I did die and this is hell

Edited September 2, 2011 by Alan the Red

[bigdog 376]

When I live d in Ca I always wished So Cal would separate from N Cal. samo samo.

[luckytxn 2,264]

I am of the same religion as what I was told to be as a child: Catholic. Yep, that is true. However, I think I would be a much better Catholic if I didn't have the baggage that came with it, as it was given to me, as a kid. I gave it up by the time I was 15 or so...

Probably for the next 20 years or so I was like the Catholics to which you refer...boozing etc...just running around. I never thought God was far from me at all, and he'd still stick a thorn (or a blessing) in my side from time to time. I never stopped believing and I still had a good life. I still like my beer and wine

I guess it was when I was 37 or so, about 10 years ago, when I started my trek back to Catholicism. It didn't happen through the traditional route of just going back to Church or rediscovering the Bible. In fact, and this is going to sound odd coming from a Catholic, but I would be Catholic even without the Bible or the Church In my studies and direct/indirect experiences I just came to the realization that Catholicism is what I believe in and I think its the closest thing that I can find to the truth. Plus, it offers a lot of practical methodologies for drawing one close to God...so there is a rigor to it...and when effort meets rigor it can often lead to success...or so we shall see...

Blessings,

B

My search (or stumbling) brought me to pretty much the same except I was just a plain old Christian. My babe now says I am or will be a Catholic. Matters not what the road is as long as that road gets us there.

[B_J 2,752]

My search (or stumbling) brought me to pretty much the same except I was just a plain old Christian. My babe now says I am or will be a Catholic. Matters not what the road is as long as that road gets us there.

[nane1104 146]

What are the Texans doing wrong ?

The next question would be "And why is Louisiana getting punished too??"

[luckytxn 2,264]

Thank you God for answering our prayers.

[Captain Oates 911]

Thank you God for answering our prayers.

But why did she wait so long ?

What did Texas do wrong to deserve all that drought and all those fine pedigree cattle being slaughtered ?

Did God read the gay tourism report saying how great Texas was and that is why the moo-moos had to die and the ranchers go broke ? Were the ranchers complicit in the gay thing or does god subscribe to collateral damage being allowable ?

What did Texas do to placate god and make it start raining again ?