New update for anyone who is following!! yOU GOTTA HEAR THIS

[TBoneTX 45,308]

Why can't we just see them [COs] as really trying to look for a reason to approve us? And that they are not “out to get us” and trying to find reasons for denial.

Because some -- and perhaps more than half, or most, or all, if they're doing their jobs right -- ARE looking for reasons to refuse the visa. Five or six couples who were hosed by the ####### Guayaquil consulate (Ecuador) are still planning to submit "after-visa complaints" to the Department of State, two years or more after the fact.

[TBoneTX 45,308]

[...] the consular workers in US consulates and embassies: they are always very nice, very diplomatic, VERY GOOD psychologists. They are NOT stupid and NOT careless. You cannot compare them with DMV or Social Security workers. This is a different breed of people.

You're right that they're a different breed -- some are downright evil. Read in the Vietnam regional subforum about the Foreign Service Nationals who deliberately sabotage interviews while doing translations. They're just one example.

[mmstompin 4]

I am praying for you!

[FastViper 5]

You're right that they're a different breed -- some are downright evil. Read in the Vietnam regional subforum about the Foreign Service Nationals who deliberately sabotage interviews while doing translations. They're just one example.

"they are always very nice, very diplomatic, VERY GOOD psychologists. They are NOT stupid and NOT careless" ROFL you have GOT to be kidding with this post. The OP was spot on and a lot kinder than I would have been considering their circumstances which are sad. The entire process is demeaning for a K-1 and we jump through hoops, write checks, more hoops and then have a person say we do not have enoug money when we meet the guidleines, ask about sexual positions for a Stokes interview, deny poeple at will and sometimes without explanation, and then once you get here you cannot honeymoon outside of the USA until you get payrolled? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I feel so bad for the OP, my heart is with you here as I read some of your other posts and see you are sincere. GOD speed here to get you both together soon.

[sachinky 465]

They should also recognize that if an Indian is willing to marry an non-Indian American, then that Indian is probably very different from the cultural norms of India and perhaps should be judged by the cultural norms of America instead.

I agree with you to an extent. I too am a half of an inter-racial couple and I interviewed at Mumbai. While NWD seems to be on another level altogether, I will add my two cents.

The problem here is that of cultural norms. Inter-racial marriages are NOT the norm in India, even by a long shot. I will also insert here that there exists a double standard for men and women as well as blacks and whites (amongst Indians). The Embassy is very aware of these norms and prevalent attitudes. I can see the argument that an Indian willing to marry a non-Indian American is probably much more open minded and should perhaps be judged by American conventions instead. That works only to some extent. Attitudes cannot exist in a vacuum. This is where other factors such as social economic status, background, education, etc come into play. Bottom line: does the beneficiary's life experiences match up to his/her "Americanized" outlook towards marriage/relationship?

What I mean is a highly-educated, liberal, well-traveled man, belonging to the higher echelons of society wanting to marry a non-Indian American is easier to buy than a middle class, maybe/maybe not college educated young man living at home with his elderly parents in a rural/conservative part of the country wanting to marry a black woman he met online is simply not going to fly. Not in NWD. Which sees fraud on a daily basis. Much more than Chennai or Mumbai.

I have met many Indian men who are educated, progressive and are friendly with people of other races and religions. However, their son or daughter wants to marry someone of a different race/religion/caste? Not till hell freezes over. I have male friends who have no problems in having a white girlfriend but have no qualms admitting that they'll never marry them. As far as the Embassy is concerned, the beneficiaries do not have noble intentions; they simply want a ticket to the US. They will divorce their USC petitioner eventually and bring over a good, simple, homely Indian wife in a few short years. This does not even bother their conscience as their first spouse is not considered to be a "true" wife. I have seen men trolling internet cafes for American chicks. Sometimes parents are even in on the scam.

Now are there Indians who do live lives that are more appropriate with American conventions and norm and possibly have more "enlightened" outlooks towards life? Sure, I am one. I studied in the US and met my husband in college. We have common friends, we are of same age belong to the same (relative) socio-economic status. We also have the same educational background. I have traveled all over the world and the interviewer even remarked on the many entry/exit stamps in my passport. In this case, does it make sense that I would defy Indian societal norms and marry a white boy who I was living together "in sin" with? More importantly, are my parents like other average Indian parents? No, since they sent me to the US at age 18 (I mean, what good Indian parent does that? ), had no problems when Mr. Sachinky and I were living together. And they just couldn't stop gushing about their gora jamai. I am talking about my own case here since that is the only one I am qualified to give an opinion on and am not well-versed with anyone else's case. Just this: at the end of the day, the picture that is being painted has to make sense.

Disclaimer: I apologize for this lengthy post. Again, I am not saying that this particular Embassy is reasonable or am defending it. It is also not my intention to cause offence by attacking anyone else's relationship. I also am not trying to be racist and/or classist here (even if I am coming off as one). I am merely trying to correct this notion that Embassies deny visas just because the CO was having 'a bad day.'

Edited November 20, 2011 by sachinky

[qwerty1974 11]

I can't imagine what would possess them to be so obstructive, especially after you've worked so hard at this. I really and truly hope you make some headway with this. Best of luck to you