OMG Will you touch me?!

[together4evr 360]

OMG how long do I have to wait to be touched?! I am begging for it! I need it! USCIS has like 18000 employees in 250 offices. I think someone is available to give me a little touch. Let me know you are thinking about me. Let me know that you realize I exist. I am hungry for your attention. Please stop making me beg for it. Give me a touch....please.

hahaha LOL I needed some more humor to get me through the day.

[hikergirl 277]

OMG how long do I have to wait to be touched?! I am begging for it! I need it! USCIS has like 18000 employees in 250 offices. I think someone is available to give me a little touch. Let me know you are thinking about me. Let me know that you realize I exist. I am hungry for your attention. Please stop making me beg for it. Give me a touch....please.

hahaha LOL I needed some more humor to get me through the day.

Thanks for the laugh!

[Cherry&Ed 4]

USCIS needs to import TSA agents to work in the USCIS offices. They're good at touching.

[together4evr 360]

Ok I found some interesting facts on USCIS website. But I still think I should be one of the 3700 touches they do in one day and I want it tomorrow please!

On an average day:

More than a quarter million people visit our Web site.

We process 200 refugee applications around the world, and grant asylum to 40 people already in the United States.

We answer 41,000 phone calls to our toll-free customer service line, and serve 12,000 customers at our 84 local offices.

We ensure the employment eligibility of more than 80,000 new hires in the United States.

We fingerprint and photograph 11,000 applicants at our 129 Application Support Centers.

We conduct 135,000 national security background checks.

We complete 30,000 applications for various immigration benefits.

We process 3,700 applications to sponsor relatives and fiancées. We also help American parents adopt 125 foreign born orphans.

We process 2,300 petitions filed by employers to bring workers to the United States.

We grant permanent residence to 3,400 people and issue 7,300 Permanent Resident Cards.

We welcome 3,000 new citizens.

Typically 30 of them are already serving their adopted country in the United States armed forces

[together4evr 360]

Ok I found some interesting facts on USCIS website. But I still think I should be one of the 3700 touches they do in one day and I want it tomorrow please!

On an average day:

More than a quarter million people visit our Web site.

We process 200 refugee applications around the world, and grant asylum to 40 people already in the United States.

We answer 41,000 phone calls to our toll-free customer service line, and serve 12,000 customers at our 84 local offices.

We ensure the employment eligibility of more than 80,000 new hires in the United States.

We fingerprint and photograph 11,000 applicants at our 129 Application Support Centers.

We conduct 135,000 national security background checks.

We complete 30,000 applications for various immigration benefits.

We process 3,700 applications to sponsor relatives and fiancées. We also help American parents adopt 125 foreign born orphans.

We process 2,300 petitions filed by employers to bring workers to the United States.

We grant permanent residence to 3,400 people and issue 7,300 Permanent Resident Cards.

We welcome 3,000 new citizens.

Typically 30 of them are already serving their adopted country in the United States armed forces

Does anyone know where to find out how many employees work on I-130 apps

and how many work on I-129 apps

employment apps

tourists apps?

Thanks

[together4evr 360]

Does anyone know where to find out how many employees work on I-130 apps

and how many work on I-129 apps

employment apps

tourists apps?

Thanks

If I find it I will post it for all.

[rafa922 0]

oh man..when I first read the title it gave me the creeps...but it's really hilarious! thanks for the much-needed dose of USCIS humor! and good luck to us all!

[bigdog 376]

Acknowledgements are slow, touch never got one of those, except from TSA in Korea.

[stronger 43]

Those stats are really remarkable. Makes you feel like small potatoes and respect those people that work there honestly. They aren't super heroes just trying to get their job done. WOW!

Ok I found some interesting facts on USCIS website. But I still think I should be one of the 3700 touches they do in one day and I want it tomorrow please!

On an average day:

More than a quarter million people visit our Web site.

We process 200 refugee applications around the world, and grant asylum to 40 people already in the United States.

We answer 41,000 phone calls to our toll-free customer service line, and serve 12,000 customers at our 84 local offices.

We ensure the employment eligibility of more than 80,000 new hires in the United States.

We fingerprint and photograph 11,000 applicants at our 129 Application Support Centers.

We conduct 135,000 national security background checks.

We complete 30,000 applications for various immigration benefits.

We process 3,700 applications to sponsor relatives and fiancées. We also help American parents adopt 125 foreign born orphans.

We process 2,300 petitions filed by employers to bring workers to the United States.

We grant permanent residence to 3,400 people and issue 7,300 Permanent Resident Cards.

We welcome 3,000 new citizens.

Typically 30 of them are already serving their adopted country in the United States armed forces

[Operator 1,927]

Remember there is good touch and bad touch.

[together4evr 360]

41000 phone calls a day???? Maybe that's why it feels they are on a time limit and not very helpful!

[ayomide1 5]

OMG how long do I have to wait to be touched?! I am begging for it! I need it! USCIS has like 18000 employees in 250 offices. I think someone is available to give me a little touch. Let me know you are thinking about me. Let me know that you realize I exist. I am hungry for your attention. Please stop making me beg for it. Give me a touch....please.

hahaha LOL I needed some more humor to get me through the day.

I feel you on that too. I am waiting to be touched..Its getting crazier.My last touch was July 1st, Are they all on vacation or what?

[Oksana & Max 94]

I feel you on that too. I am waiting to be touched..Its getting crazier.My last touch was July 1st, Are they all on vacation or what?

Don't forget that they are federal employees, so they are always on vacation. I work as a contractor for the main agency that is deciding everyones live here.... and guess what I barely see them in the office, and even if they are they don't work too hard.....

[cchhat01 14]

I LOL'd at the subject of this thread.

Im with you entirely on this quest for being "touched."

Don't get any ideas now...

LOL.

Chigs

[Brian121957 43]

As of mid August the White House has given Homeland Security and Immigration direction to process ILEGAL immigrants and get them green cards so they can get jobs here in the US. I think that is why processing slowed down a lot the last few weeks.