How do you face your everyday life

[Mephys 2]

We finally sent our petition in August. But I have been waiting for my BF divorce almost a year and that almost made me go crazy....not to know when. When it happened I was so happy, and now to know that they have our petition in their hands is a big thing.

The kind of relation we have is based on our webcams a lot. We both work from 8:00am-4:30pm but we are not in the same time zone. So when i leave for work in the morning we talk a little bit before I leave. Then at work we both have IP phone so I call him at break time, then at lunch time. Then i get back home around 5:00pm and its only 4:00pm for him and he has a computer at work so I log in to see him kinda working till 4:30pm. Then he gets back home, and we talk till we go in bed, and we usually let the webcam open all night, so if one of us has a nightmare, we take the microphone and wake the other one....weve been doing that for almost a year now. Its such a routine that I dont see any other way right now. People at work are teasing me all the time.

The thing is in the beginning we didnt know it would be that long. And im lucky I am working in a lab with people my age and they "almost" understand my situation. My boss is really young too and she always loved my work from the beginning ( she immigrated to canada so she knows the feeling). I asked her to fire me to be able to concentrate on the K-1 like 2-3 months prior to my leaving but they need me too much as they is a lot of employees leaving and im one the experienced one that can get a lot of work done.

So here is my question kinda. How do you all people face the everyday life, and have the motivation to go to work to take care of stupid problems or annoying problems that are nothing compare to what it is to have to be prepared to change from a country to another, or to be prepared to welcome someone from another country. All that without being late, without calling sick, without having huge headaches all the time, without lacking sleeping because you miss the other too much.

My sick days bank is gone since a long time alreade and Im lucky I got an overtime bank.....but hell, my motivation is like 0. I just want to focus on my baby, and on my life, my moving, my visa. And now that people dont even care that I work a little less than before or when i get late, its not motivating me anymore at all. Some days I just want to quit. I just want to come back home to my Fiance and i cant. But hell I know that I will need the money cause I wont have a job once Im there right away.

Thats the part of the process that i find the hardest after missing my love so much. I read the forum everyday, I get motivation from all the people being approved and I see that CSC is going well these days, but I cant stand people at work whining because their BF didnt do laundry or saying that they miss their BF because he worked a night shift for 2 days....GRRRRRRRRRR

Wow im sooo rambling right now. But im so glad to have all of you here that are living this same situation. As me and my love are saying, the one can't understand if hes not living it.

Well I still wish a lot of approval for the next days to everybody and i thank you for reading this. No need to reply just writting it makes me feel better.

Mephys

edited for typos...

just read that thread that Uling started about is your life on hold...

Funny to see how everbody sounds like me. We are all kinda "non -living anymore"

We dont watch TV, news, movies, we dont listen to music, we dont live at all except to log in on msn.

Oh well, just to add to the pathetic thing, i just my baby sneezing through his microphone while he was away from his computer. Had to call him to say "bless ya" because it was too cute. Wish i could be there next to him just to tell him face to face.

I think im gonna burn everything related to computers once im done with this process.

Mephys

Edited September 18, 2006 by Mephys

[ILoveMephys 0]

We finally sent our petition in August. But I have been waiting for my BF divorce almost a year and that almost made me go crazy....not to know when. When it happened I was so happy, and now to know that they have our petition in their hands is a big thing.

The kind of relation we have is based on our webcams a lot. We both work from 8:00am-4:30pm but we are not in the same time zone. So when i leave for work in the morning we talk a little bit before I leave. Then at work we both have IP phone so I call him at break time, then at lunch time. Then i get back home around 5:00pm and its only 4:00pm for him and he has a computer at work so I log in to see him kinda working till 4:30pm. Then he gets back home, and we talk till we go in bed, and we usually let the webcam open all night, so if one of us has a nightmare, we take the microphone and wake the other one....weve been doing that for almost a year now. Its such a routine that I dont see any other way right now. People at work are teasing me all the time.

The thing is in the beginning we didnt know it would be that long. And im lucky I am working in a lab with people my age and they "almost" understand my situation. My boss is really young too and she always loved my work from the beginning ( she immigrated to canada so she knows the feeling). I asked her to fire me to be able to concentrate on the K-1 like 2-3 months prior to my leaving but they need me too much as they is a lot of employees leaving and im one the experienced one that can get a lot of work done.

So here is my question kinda. How do you all people face the everyday life, and have the motivation to go to work to take care of stupid problems or annoying problems that are nothing compare to what it is to have to be prepared to change from a country to another, or to be prepared to welcome someone from another country. All that without being late, without calling sick, without having huge headaches all the time, without lacking sleeping because you miss the other too much.

My sick days bank is gone since a long time alreade and Im lucky I got an overtime bank.....but hell, my motivation is like 0. I just want to focus on my baby, and on my life, my moving, my visa. And now that people dont even care that I work a little less than before or when i get late, its not motivating me anymore at all. Some days I just want to quit. I just want to come back home to my Fiance and i cant. But hell I know that I will need the money cause I wont have a job once Im there right away.

Thats the part of the process that i find the hardest after missing my love so much. I read the forum everyday, I get motivation from all the people being approved and I see that CSC is going well these days, but I cant stand people at work whining because their BF didnt do laundry or saying that they miss their BF because he worked a night shift for 2 days....GRRRRRRRRRR

Wow im sooo rambling right now. But im so glad to have all of you here that are living this same situation. As me and my love are saying, the one can't understand if hes not living it.

Well I still wish a lot of approval for the next days to everybody and i thank you for reading this. No need to reply just writting it makes me feel better.

Mephys

edited for typos...

just read that thread that Uling started about is your life on hold...

Funny to see how everbody sounds like me. We are all kinda "non -living anymore"

We dont watch TV, news, movies, we dont listen to music, we dont live at all except to log in on msn.

Oh well, just to add to the pathetic thing, i just my baby sneezing through his microphone while he was away from his computer. Had to call him to say "bless ya" because it was too cute. Wish i could be there next to him just to tell him face to face.

I think im gonna burn everything related to computers once im done with this process.

Mephys

Yeah life is crazy lately, its not just waiting thats killing us, its seeing each other and not being able to touch the other, its not wanting to not see each other cause it would kill us not to say good morning to the other when they wake up or to bless them when they sneeze in the kitchen while making dinner. So much of life revolves around headphones and a video camera, god forbid internet goes down, I read a book in 3days last time internet was off for a weekend and truth be told its the first time it didnt take 3months to finish a book, i couldnt do anything since I couldnt see mephys, I had nothing other to do that bury myself in a book to forget as much as possible about how much it was killing me not to see her. Good news is, is that for our one year anniversary we are going back to the place that we met for the first time, Niagara Falls, On, its going to be even more amazing than the first time and it means that we are that much closer to the time when our petition will be approved and one less time I will have to kiss her tears off her cheek as we seperate again.

Well like she said, good luck to everyone that is getting to the end of their waiting and seperation time, grats to all that have done this time apart and lived to tell their story to give those in the middle hope for the end.

[rbiedlingmaier 0]

I hope this might help you just a little bit. Although my situation is different it always helps to hear others stories. My story began over a year ago when i fell in love with my fiance in the United States. We dated for six months before she left to return to Brasil. We wanted to be with each other but we knew the right thing was for her to return to her home country. She needed to be with her family and to discover if she was willing to give up her country of Brasil to live with me in the U.S.

Things were extremely difficult at first. I was in a police academy in Maryland and was forced to deal with Drill instructors, tests, constant pressure to perform both physically and mentally, and always worrying about my girlfriend in Brasil. I was consumed by the idea of quitting my crappy police academy experience and move to Brasil. I was advised by everyone not to do this, and that i would regret this for the rest of my life. It was a difficult job to obtain, and i had arleady spent five months training in the academy. I was due to graduate in a few months.

The seperation was so hard on me that I lost sleep and my apeitite. I lasted for a month and a half until i decided to resign and move to Brasil. I have been living in Brasil for five months now. My tourist visa expires next month. We have finally made important decisions and are going to get married hopefully as soon as the visa is accepted.

I am broke, have very little money left in my checking account, and now i am forced to return to the U.S. to wait out her visa approval. I must prepare again to leave her for at least another six months. I know it will not be any easier than when she left the first time, but i know i have no other option. I need to return to the states to start my life again so that i can be ready to support her when she returns to the U.S.

In your situation, the most important thing to realize is that you are moving to another country. Althoug it is difficult to do this, Canada will be a little easier because of the language and economic similairites to the U.S. You will find a job when it counts, and you will be with your fiance. Money will be tight. I am always on a constant budget down here. We find ways to spend money and have fun without major debts. I dug myself financially in a hole but i know this is only temporary.

I found the answers i needed, and this was only possible by me leaving my job, my life, my friends, my family. I never regret leaving, and realize how important my decision to leave has become. When the time is right you will leave to Canada and be with your fiance. You are right, people with there tiny relationship problems can become annoying, but you should be happy that you found someone to spend the rest of your life with. The most imporant piece of advice i can give you is that time goes faster than you really tend to think it does. It seems like just yesterday i arrived in Brasil and now i must leave once again for another seperation period. I dont think i am any more prepared this time around, but i need to what i have to do. Time is slow when you are waiting for something. Try to enjoy your time left in U.S. and realize that you are going to miss some of these things once you leave. Use this time to metally prepare for the cultural change you are going to experience. I think you will keep yourself saine if you realize there is nothing you can do but wait, and that constantly checking your account on the immigration website is going to eat you alive. Take a few days away from the application. Check every few days or so. this might help you. It helps me. I know things move slow, but if you are not religious, now is the time to accept the fact that there are factors out of our control. We are all here to help, and i wish success and happiness in the future.

[Rodney 0]

Not sure how this will help. I can only provide my experience. I travel to see her often. Once a month. Then we talk on the phone and use the video cam also to chat and talk at night. I try to keep focus on the big picture and set my eyes on what I feel will be a December arrival for her. (I129 in June) Just sent in the IMBRA RFE today. I do the opposite at work. I bury myself in my work during working hours and this makes the days pass much faster. On my off time I stay involved with friends to make that time pass.

Hope this helps a little.

Rodney

[dougyceci 0]

Wow, I am with you on burning the computer. I am lucky, my time difference is only 2 hours but it still does not help much when you look into that web cam and can only wish you were together. I have found that my work suffers a bit as I never seem to have enough time to keep caught up. An hour or so on the net then an hour or so each night on the telephone and a quick early morning call to wish each other a good day. I guess what keeps me going is knowing that we will see each other at Christmas and then with a little luck it won't be much longer after that we are together. Use the forum, we are all here for support and all understand what the other is experiencing. The wait is worth the it, we all know that or would not be here. Good luck and keep the faith.

Doug

[Mephys 2]

rbied

Its not that much about being addiction the the immigration website, thanks for that lol. No seriously its more about the annoying everyday life that is so not important to me as I know im gonna be leaving for the US. The financial part isnt has easy has hes getting out of a divorce and I had myself couple debts due to an ex BF. So we both know now well need to spend a little more before being able to start getting back on our feet again when I finally get a full time job. We are lucky we could see each other like 7-8 times in a year, but we never had the chance to spend more than 9 days. You spent 6 months with her and many other people here moved for a few months with their beloved but in our situation it was impossible. But anyways thanks for the words. I know there is gonna be a light at the end of the tunnel.

As for rodney, i tried to burn myself at work for couple months but i really got fed up with it lol. Thing is I has very few good friends, and they all got in new relationship where they spend so much time with their love that they are not calling me anymore. They all know about my situation, i tell them to feel free to call em anytime as I am home when not at work, but people barely have the time to call me with their busy life. And when its not that, its spending time with couples...and i cant stand that. Ive been teased about how I should bring a laptop to have my BF with me at their dinner.....didnt appreciated it. So i kinda accepted not to have a normal life anymore.

[onesassygirl 0]

hang in there you guys!

my fiance and i have been doing this long-distance thing for 7 years... crazy, i know. but it was only at the beginning of this year were we presented with the perfect opportunity to finally be together.

the process is long, but you'll make it. really, the longest part is waiting for your NOA2... but just proceed with life as usual and try not to *wait* for it because it will drive you crazy! but i swear, after you get your NOA2, everything speeds up!

my family doesn't want me leaving for the States until after the Christmas holidays because it would be financially better for me and it would guarantee that I could spend Christmas with them... I plan on leaving at the end of October, which means that I won't likely get the AP by Christmas. although the plan to leave post-Christmas is more practical, I really can't wait anymore. i've been waiting and waiting for my new life to start and I am tired of waiting. my life indeed has been on hold and now I'm more than ready to get my life started with my fiance!

[Chris-n-Veronica 0]

We had to go through something like yours... I had been separated for awhile when I met Veronica.. We talked for about a year before I visited her... When I got back from the visit I filed for Divorce..Which I should of done years before..but never had the motovation to do it..Separation worked fine...for dating..But when I met Veronica..I knew I had to be free so I could bring her life into my...So we went from May-Aug 31th...waiting on the Divorce.. Aug 31 it was final.. We forgot to have Veronica sign a couple papers when I was on my second visit in Aug... So we had to wait the turn-around time...But I final Filed my I-129F 9/14 ...WhoooooHooooo...Finally we are on our last leg of the journey...FINALLY

How do we make do... I call twice a day...and we email daily...sometimes Yahoo with cam... Our time difference is such that I call at 11pm my time and it's 8am hers... and the I call on my lunch hour and it's 9:30pm hers... So I call when she awakes...and when she is getting ready for bed...PERFECT...

It does get alot harder after you have touched.....Once you have touched..life changes...and they other person becomes more then a face on the cam...a voice on the phone...they become part of your life..and thats when it's hard to be a part...A lot harder.. but just know your on your last leg of the journey..and it is much easier then the Divorce time..because with that you don't know what the ex will do or not do....Mine sat on the papers for two months..before signing....I could've had Veronica here for Xmas....but now it most likely won't happen.. Unless God takes a hand in it..and is listening to prayers...

I wish you good luck...and hang in there...Your almost together forever...

Chris and Veronica

I hope this might help you just a little bit. Although my situation is different it always helps to hear others stories. My story began over a year ago when i fell in love with my fiance in the United States. We dated for six months before she left to return to Brasil. We wanted to be with each other but we knew the right thing was for her to return to her home country. She needed to be with her family and to discover if she was willing to give up her country of Brasil to live with me in the U.S.

Things were extremely difficult at first. I was in a police academy in Maryland and was forced to deal with Drill instructors, tests, constant pressure to perform both physically and mentally, and always worrying about my girlfriend in Brasil. I was consumed by the idea of quitting my crappy police academy experience and move to Brasil. I was advised by everyone not to do this, and that i would regret this for the rest of my life. It was a difficult job to obtain, and i had arleady spent five months training in the academy. I was due to graduate in a few months.

The seperation was so hard on me that I lost sleep and my apeitite. I lasted for a month and a half until i decided to resign and move to Brasil. I have been living in Brasil for five months now. My tourist visa expires next month. We have finally made important decisions and are going to get married hopefully as soon as the visa is accepted.

I am broke, have very little money left in my checking account, and now i am forced to return to the U.S. to wait out her visa approval. I must prepare again to leave her for at least another six months. I know it will not be any easier than when she left the first time, but i know i have no other option. I need to return to the states to start my life again so that i can be ready to support her when she returns to the U.S.

In your situation, the most important thing to realize is that you are moving to another country. Althoug it is difficult to do this, Canada will be a little easier because of the language and economic similairites to the U.S. You will find a job when it counts, and you will be with your fiance. Money will be tight. I am always on a constant budget down here. We find ways to spend money and have fun without major debts. I dug myself financially in a hole but i know this is only temporary.

I found the answers i needed, and this was only possible by me leaving my job, my life, my friends, my family. I never regret leaving, and realize how important my decision to leave has become. When the time is right you will leave to Canada and be with your fiance. You are right, people with there tiny relationship problems can become annoying, but you should be happy that you found someone to spend the rest of your life with. The most imporant piece of advice i can give you is that time goes faster than you really tend to think it does. It seems like just yesterday i arrived in Brasil and now i must leave once again for another seperation period. I dont think i am any more prepared this time around, but i need to what i have to do. Time is slow when you are waiting for something. Try to enjoy your time left in U.S. and realize that you are going to miss some of these things once you leave. Use this time to metally prepare for the cultural change you are going to experience. I think you will keep yourself saine if you realize there is nothing you can do but wait, and that constantly checking your account on the immigration website is going to eat you alive. Take a few days away from the application. Check every few days or so. this might help you. It helps me. I know things move slow, but if you are not religious, now is the time to accept the fact that there are factors out of our control. We are all here to help, and i wish success and happiness in the future.

Edited September 19, 2006 by Chrisd

[Mephys 2]

..because with that you don't know what the ex will do or not do....Mine sat on the papers for two months..before signing....I could've had Veronica here for Xmas....but now it most likely won't happen..

Oh yeah his ex wife choose a bad lawyer that was jsut trying to milk all of her money. They were both agreeing on fees and custody and child support, but he still made em filing 30 pages long documents that they use when people are fighting...

So guess what, after they fire the lawyer the divorce took 1 month....I wanted to scream. Cause she made us file our petition5 months!!!later.....this was really hard on me. They only thing i can say to myself is that everything happens for a reasons. These delays made us avoid the IMBRA and the old forms RFE. But still. All this paper work is long, expensive, and I really feel like USCIS is doing that on purpose to make people change their mind in the end.

Wow rambling again...

[Rodney 0]

One other thing that might help. Use normal postal also. Send cards a couple times a week. I do this. You would think she won the lottery when she gets one. haha

Rodney

[caagirl 0]

I understand about being apart is very hard last month was are one year engagement anniversary but, just be happy that you have someone that special in your life to celebrate with.. I left Jatin on February 24th and it was heart breaking to be apart from him was so sick on the plane... and still that feeling is here inside me... For Jatin and I we started dating back in December 2004 anyways we got engaged on August 27th 2005. Time difference for us is crazy when it is my morning time its his night time.. We are not even on the same day so sometimes gets very confusing. He also does not have a internet hook up in his house so he has to go to the internet cafe:( Phone calling is to much money so when we do call it has to be at important times for special occasions. ANd now we are trying to save more money so we talk through phone by texting back and forth.. This time for us is almost over with now soon we will not be apart anymore we can finally see the light at the end of this tunnel! Wooooohooooo Praise the LORD! His interview is October 12th and I am so excited... just hang in there its the best you can do one day you two will be together again! Which is the greatest treasure ever! Good luck on your journey it might be hard but, if it was easy it would not be the same... Fighting for something you want makes you only appreciate it and love it more. Jatin and I love each other so much and one thing you can do is encourage each other everyday that soon you will be together soon this pain will end, this emptiness will disappear and you will be together forever!

The Journey will end the sun will shine and together again for the rest of your life you will be with your love!

A fiancee in waiting,

Christina

Edited September 19, 2006 by caagirl

[Fandango 1,439]

Funny to see how everbody sounds like me. We are all kinda "non -living anymore"

We dont watch TV, news, movies, we dont listen to music, we dont live at all except to log in on msn.

Missing your fiance is natural and very hard, but this bit struck me as odd if you must know...

[Bunnyqr 0]

Ahhh the waiting, the waiting, the waiting!!!! For a NON patient person, I have been in purgatory since we started the Visa process.

But, the one thing that has saved me is my life. I had a life before I met him. So even though I miss him desparately, I am able to function with my day to day. I take work seriously when I am there, I keep busy and put in 100%. Because I know my reward is at the end of the day when I get home, get into comfy clothes, crack open a beer and my sweetie calls.

We are not like the rest in this site. My fiance doesn't use a computer. So know emails and know web cams. All we have is the phone. But hearing his voice at night makes everything OK.

I keep busy with my family, friends, running errands, exercising with power walks in the morning, preparing all the K1 paperwork (my new hobby, screw the scrap book hobby, let's market the K1 process for a time worth spent, hahahahahaha).

Looking forward to our next visit, I am blessed to be leaving this Saturday and spending 2 weeks with him, one week alone and one week with him and his family.

And last but not least, focusing on the BIG PICTURE. Take a deep breath, knock down another day and remember these days. Especially the day you are married, walking down that isle and seeing your SO and knowing, YES IT WAS ALL WORTH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God Bless and may your approval come with God Speed!