I would like to adopt my wifes son

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I think it is a bit different re: cost when people are trying to adopt the child of a stranger via private or international adoption versus adopting a stepchild.

Probably and since there is no dispute or questions of fact, one should be able to do it oneself. I only have personal knowledge of one case where a woman friend adopted the children of her sister. There was no dispute and I know she filed some papers and went to court one time where it was approved in a matter of minutes. I do not know about costs. I do know it took some months to complete. She filed some papers, waited a few months and then had a court hearing. I think it was just a matter of processing and waiting for a court date. In this case the children's parents had been killed in an accident and the sister was appointed the guardian and a couple years later she adopted them

[Theglassguy 0]

Thank you guys for ever thing. I have talk to my Aunt who had remarried and her new husband had did what Im doing. The father of her two children was MIA. So its a simple thing I just need go to social services and they will hand me the papers to take to court.Im all ready financial meeting his needs so I dont need to have a home study. It can take a few months for us to get our court date. So by next summer every one in our family will have my last name.

My wife was worried because we pay for him to go to private school. And all ready some of the kids noticed he does not have my last name. My son is a very smart boy and was fighting with one child and screaming at him that I was his dad!!! So its best that I get it done sooner then later. Me and my son are very close. He has been back in the ukraine for a month and 4 days now and every day me and him talk on skype. And every day he ask's me when am I coming home Daddy?? I miss you so much. I love him like he came from my own body. I dont even think he is not mine. When I talk to my wife I call him my son. And when we are together I never call him by his name I just say son. Unless he is in trouble then I use his name in a deep voice hahaha. He snaps too real fast lol.

I have always took my job as a father very seriously. My kids are my legacy in this life. And my wife understands this and she backs me hundred percent.

No I dont think this will fail because me and my wife are on the same page when it comes to our son and how we are to raise him.

Again thanks for your add advise and all your help. You guys are very smart and kind people. Its nice to see people from all over the world pulling together to help one another. There is hope for us humans after all hahahaha

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Thank you guys for ever thing. I have talk to my Aunt who had remarried and her new husband had did what Im doing. The father of her two children was MIA. So its a simple thing I just need go to social services and they will hand me the papers to take to court.Im all ready financial meeting his needs so I dont need to have a home study. It can take a few months for us to get our court date. So by next summer every one in our family will have my last name.

My wife was worried because we pay for him to go to private school. And all ready some of the kids noticed he does not have my last name. My son is a very smart boy and was fighting with one child and screaming at him that I was his dad!!! So its best that I get it done sooner then later. Me and my son are very close. He has been back in the ukraine for a month and 4 days now and every day me and him talk on skype. And every day he ask's me when am I coming home Daddy?? I miss you so much. I love him like he came from my own body. I dont even think he is not mine. When I talk to my wife I call him my son. And when we are together I never call him by his name I just say son. Unless he is in trouble then I use his name in a deep voice hahaha. He snaps too real fast lol.

I have always took my job as a father very seriously. My kids are my legacy in this life. And my wife understands this and she backs me hundred percent.

No I dont think this will fail because me and my wife are on the same page when it comes to our son and how we are to raise him.

Again thanks for your add advise and all your help. You guys are very smart and kind people. Its nice to see people from all over the world pulling together to help one another. There is hope for us humans after all hahahaha

Kids are stupid sometimes.

Treat him as your own, take interest in things he does, whether it is Thomas the Train or Cub Scouts or LaCrosse or his new car. Teach him about what interests you, fishing or woodworking, or shooting. Even golf. You will be happier, your wife will be happier, your son will be happier, everyone wins.

He is going to scare you, make you proud, piss you off, make you laugh, make you cry, you are going to embarrass him and he will embarrass you, you are going to carve pumpkins and make science projects that have been done to death (volcanoes with vinegar and baking soda)but I hope you also build a spudzooka and shoot potatoes with hair spray and jump off a cliff into water, you will need those thoughts when you teach him to drive or hand him over the stick to a light aircraft

You will be better off for it and you won't worry about BS that doesn't matter

[Jonathan Matthies 1]

Fun thread to read. My son Denis just started first grade. It's really amazing how similar to me he is (beyond appearance) despite the fact we share no DNA. He has my temper, my psuedo-athleticism (when I was young and I'd exercise I'd start getting asthma/coughing fits - just like he does now), and I'm instilling into him the joys of a good fart joke. Physically he looks a lot like me; and he had my temper from day 1 of his arrival. If anything eh's taught me to relax and not snap at every ###### idiotic thing the dumbass does.

It was fun taking him to school/doctor for the first time when all 3 of us have different last names. We have to carry a binder full of documents (tnotarized birth cert's, passports, blah blah) every time we go to do legal stuff. That problem almost caused customs to delay them in NY when they first arrived. I will worry about name changes and actual adoption down the road. It is more important to my parents (for legal benefits, will's, etc) than it is to me. The initial registration 'problems' have been minor.

He and I have done everything Gary mentioned to each other; and it's not even 2 years yet. I just recently started calling my wife Mom and not "Your Mom". For a while it was a mix of both, not really thinking about what I said before i said it. But now I strictly say mom, and even call out for 'Mom' and Katya answers as such. Still, about once a week he says he's going to find a new father, storms out the door... down the sidewalk, and ... into the backyard and comes back inside. He still calls me by my given name; but apparently when talking to teachers, friends, or strangers when I am not around - I am 'his father'. So that's something. I don't much care what he calls me. Hell, I still call my step-Dad by his given name; but he didn't come into my life until I was 14.

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

Fun thread to read. My son Denis just started first grade. It's really amazing how similar to me he is (beyond appearance) despite the fact we share no DNA. He has my temper, my psuedo-athleticism (when I was young and I'd exercise I'd start getting asthma/coughing fits - just like he does now), and I'm instilling into him the joys of a good fart joke. Physically he looks a lot like me; and he had my temper from day 1 of his arrival. If anything eh's taught me to relax and not snap at every ###### idiotic thing the dumbass does.

I'm the same way with Gabby, Anna is amazed that he has taken on so many of my mannerisms and interests. It even looks like he's going to be tall like me (I'm 6ft 3in while Anna is barely 4ft 11in). Once his big brother is here next year I'll do the Step-parent Adoption for both of them together. I just hope that Carlo takes to me as well as Gabby did even though he is already 7 (Gabby was just 2 when I entered his life and I'm the only Daddy he has known while Carlo knows his biological father).

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Fun thread to read. My son Denis just started first grade. It's really amazing how similar to me he is (beyond appearance) despite the fact we share no DNA. He has my temper, my psuedo-athleticism (when I was young and I'd exercise I'd start getting asthma/coughing fits - just like he does now), and I'm instilling into him the joys of a good fart joke. Physically he looks a lot like me; and he had my temper from day 1 of his arrival. If anything eh's taught me to relax and not snap at every ###### idiotic thing the dumbass does.

It was fun taking him to school/doctor for the first time when all 3 of us have different last names. We have to carry a binder full of documents (tnotarized birth cert's, passports, blah blah) every time we go to do legal stuff. That problem almost caused customs to delay them in NY when they first arrived. I will worry about name changes and actual adoption down the road. It is more important to my parents (for legal benefits, will's, etc) than it is to me. The initial registration 'problems' have been minor.

He and I have done everything Gary mentioned to each other; and it's not even 2 years yet. I just recently started calling my wife Mom and not "Your Mom". For a while it was a mix of both, not really thinking about what I said before i said it. But now I strictly say mom, and even call out for 'Mom' and Katya answers as such. Still, about once a week he says he's going to find a new father, storms out the door... down the sidewalk, and ... into the backyard and comes back inside. He still calls me by my given name; but apparently when talking to teachers, friends, or strangers when I am not around - I am 'his father'. So that's something. I don't much care what he calls me. Hell, I still call my step-Dad by his given name; but he didn't come into my life until I was 14.

We never discussed it but Pasha started calling me "dad" shortly after he arrived, I think because about everyone else in school, friends, etc referred to me as that. Alla will say "ask dad" I do not call Alla "mom" except when referring to her with the boys. Otherwise it is "Aloechka" If I called out to her "MOM!" she will say "I am not YOUR mom!" But when talking to the boys I will say "Where is Mom?" for example.

I have had -0- trouble with the boys and they will do anything I ask. All I can say is that Bahbuska must have jerked knots in them when they were young because they do not give us any grief over anything we ask of them. They will both goof off and do nothing if you let them, but I do not expect teenagers to take the initiative and do household chores, that is what adults are for, to tell them what to do and when, and they do. On the other hand they know we will do all we can for them. I recently made a signed contract with Pasha since he now has his own car and is driving by himself. Anyone else that has children driving maybe would want to do this or some form of this. The deal is

1. I, Child's name, will not get into or drive any vehicle when I or anyone in the car has been drinking or using drugs

2. I will call (name of parent, ME)

3. (name of parent) will immediately stop what they are doing day or nght and come to give me a ride home

4. There will be no punishment if I do this.

5. If I do not follow this, I will lose my drivers lisence until age 18 and my privilege to keep a vehicle at the home of my parents until age 21

Just make it clear that their SAFETY is number one and more important than anything else. Kids will do something dumb now and again and it is not unusual for them to drink alcohol even though they should not. I am not going to punish anyone because they drank beer at some party (so far not yet) but I will punish them severly of they do so and drive a car.

I still handle all the school business, medical business or anything else requiring permission, even signed for Pasha's permission to get a driver's lisence. This stuff is all GOLDEN evidence for the RoC, keep copies of everything you sign.

I enjoy, every day, trying to be the best father and husband I can be, and that is all. I do what I CAN do.

[Theglassguy 0]

We never discussed it but Pasha started calling me "dad" shortly after he arrived, I think because about everyone else in school, friends, etc referred to me as that. Alla will say "ask dad" I do not call Alla "mom" except when referring to her with the boys. Otherwise it is "Aloechka" If I called out to her "MOM!" she will say "I am not YOUR mom!" But when talking to the boys I will say "Where is Mom?" for example.

I have had -0- trouble with the boys and they will do anything I ask. All I can say is that Bahbuska must have jerked knots in them when they were young because they do not give us any grief over anything we ask of them. They will both goof off and do nothing if you let them, but I do not expect teenagers to take the initiative and do household chores, that is what adults are for, to tell them what to do and when, and they do. On the other hand they know we will do all we can for them. I recently made a signed contract with Pasha since he now has his own car and is driving by himself. Anyone else that has children driving maybe would want to do this or some form of this. The deal is

1. I, Child's name, will not get into or drive any vehicle when I or anyone in the car has been drinking or using drugs

2. I will call (name of parent, ME)

3. (name of parent) will immediately stop what they are doing day or nght and come to give me a ride home

4. There will be no punishment if I do this.

5. If I do not follow this, I will lose my drivers lisence until age 18 and my privilege to keep a vehicle at the home of my parents until age 21

Just make it clear that their SAFETY is number one and more important than anything else. Kids will do something dumb now and again and it is not unusual for them to drink alcohol even though they should not. I am not going to punish anyone because they drank beer at some party (so far not yet) but I will punish them severly of they do so and drive a car.

I still handle all the school business, medical business or anything else requiring permission, even signed for Pasha's permission to get a driver's lisence. This stuff is all GOLDEN evidence for the RoC, keep copies of everything you sign.

I enjoy, every day, trying to be the best father and husband I can be, and that is all. I do what I CAN do.

With my son Danya he picked me out as his father on the computer when I was talking to his mom. I was talking to her and he came up to the computer and said hey mom thats my DAD!! When is he coming to get us?? He was 16 months all. He was speaking perfect russian. We never said any thing to him he just look at the screen and start to speak to me in russian. He was say PApy I miss you!! WHy are you not here with me and Mommy? I would always tell him Im coming soon. About 3 days before I was to come and get them he had given up on his pappy coming for him. He told Anya pappy is not ever coming! And was very upset. When I finely got there we were never apart.He hugs me and kissed me ever chance he could. And he always ask me if I was going to leave again. I say no son Im not leaving you are coming to your new home in America.He was so happy. Now he is in the uKraine with his mom and he askes his mom every day when are we going home I miss daddy! They are on there way home friday. We will be all together on Saturday I can not wait to be with them again. Its been a long 42 days.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

With my son Danya he picked me out as his father on the computer when I was talking to his mom. I was talking to her and he came up to the computer and said hey mom thats my DAD!! When is he coming to get us?? He was 16 months all. He was speaking perfect russian. We never said any thing to him he just look at the screen and start to speak to me in russian. He was say PApy I miss you!! WHy are you not here with me and Mommy? I would always tell him Im coming soon. About 3 days before I was to come and get them he had given up on his pappy coming for him. He told Anya pappy is not ever coming! And was very upset. When I finely got there we were never apart.He hugs me and kissed me ever chance he could. And he always ask me if I was going to leave again. I say no son Im not leaving you are coming to your new home in America.He was so happy. Now he is in the uKraine with his mom and he askes his mom every day when are we going home I miss daddy! They are on there way home friday. We will be all together on Saturday I can not wait to be with them again. Its been a long 42 days.

The first summer Alla and Pasha went back for 2 months and then came home with Sergey, so I was 2 months by myself and it was pretty lonely. After that our summers have been like Chinese fire drills, with one or another or two or three going back and forth. I can barely keep up with it. The boys are older and can travel by themselves so it is a bit different.

Suffice to say, Sergey and I were together as bachelors for a time this year and Pasha and I were last year. Pasha told Sergey he would have a great time and we do evil things Alla doesn't allow Shoot guns in the basement and stuff like that, and eat horrible food like tacos, pizza, burgers, tater tots and gallons of coca cola! We are such desparados! Plus we throw socks and underwear on the floor and I wear shoes in the house! (Sergey is thoroughly brainwashed and will not wear shoes in the house, I got to him too late)

Sergey was working at a local grocery store and got off at 9pm each night then he would come home and watch a movie or two with me and he would always pause it and ask me details about what was going on, historical or cultural info from the period of the movie, etc. He is very interested in the history and culture of the US and asks about everything. It took us something like 5 hours to watch Forrest Gump.

Now Pasha has his new car and each night we have been spending some time to learn about the switches and gadgets...of which there are many! He is learning about "noises" "Dad, come here my car makes a funny noise when I do this..." Pasha! Let go of the key it is started already! "But yours doesn't do that" OH YES it does! We took it to register it today and he filled out all the forms and went to the counter and will have his title in his own name and registration in his own name. I didn't do a thing but was there if he needed me. I actually met him there and he was nearly done when I got there. Then he said he was going to "the Mall" to meet his friends. His very own CAR he worked for and paid for cash! He has had it for just 1 week and has waxed it TWICE

[baron555 934]

His very own CAR he worked for and paid for cash! He has had it for just 1 week and has waxed it TWICE

Yep.....A Clean Car runs Better!

I remember having local "tune-up" parties, usually about twice a month......"I'll bring my tach, you bring your timing gun."

Never could reset your points enough times!!!!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Yep.....A Clean Car runs Better!

I remember having local "tune-up" parties, usually about twice a month......"I'll bring my tach, you bring your timing gun."

Never could reset your points enough times!!!!

No fun any more! Electronic ignition ruined that!

Yes I told him we used to do that also. Brake jobs in the driveway, shock replacement, tune ups, replace water pumps and alternators, etc.

OMG what we would have done with a car like Pasha has!!!! I shouldn't even talk about it in front of young people!