Prince turns into a frog

[XtrmeFdelity 0]

Hi.

I have been married to my husband for over a year now after 5 years of being steady and is now currently here in the US. After living with him and my in-laws, mostly with my in-laws, things aren't really working out too well. He me would yell at me and treat me bad in front of his folks and makes me cry shamelessly whenever we have a small disagreement.

I love him with all my heart but is now at the point of walking out of our marriage because of the constant taunting I keep getting from him.

He threatens to deport me whenever we have an argument. He knows I don't have anybody here but him. I have a job now but is driving his car cos I don't have my own and he threatens to hide the keys so I don't get to work. He calls me all the horrible names there is in English language and accusses me of cheating before we got married and telling me I might have STDs and that I might have given it to him.

He was my prince. But he never treated me as his princess. He was my world. He was my everything.

I would like to move on with my life, and get over this heartache and stress I'm currently in. Like I said, I have a job and a life now here in the US. I can't bear the possibility of going back to nothing in my country. I'm suppose to renew my GC next year but how will I do that if he doesn't want to participate in it and we are still married?

Edited August 30, 2011 by XtrmeFdelity

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

You can remove conditions on your GC (the process to get the 10-year card) by yourself. You would file a waiver for divorce and show proof that you entered the marriage in good faith, but it didn't work out. He can't deport you. Look over the instructions for form I-751. Good luck to you, and don't let him verbally abuse you.

[blessed04 1]

Be strong and stand up for yourself. No one deserves that. There are many opportunities here. You don't need him!

[zoom123 7]

Don't worry. If possible handle him diplomatically untill you and him file to remove conditions. But if things doesn't work, keep record of everything what he is doing with you. Gather sound proof against him and don't waste time immediately contact a good attorney who can guide you.

You can get waiver, if you have sound proofs against him when you file a waiver.

Take Care.

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

Don't worry. If possible handle him diplomatically untill you and him file to remove conditions. But if things doesn't work, keep record of everything what he is doing with you. Gather sound proof against him and don't waste time immediately contact a good attorney who can guide you.

You can get waiver, if you have sound proofs against him when you file a waiver.

Take Care.

Actually, if she moves out and files for divorce then she doesn't need to "handle him diplomatically" or "have sound proofs against him" as she would just need to prove that she entered the marriage in good faith. To do this she simply needs to show they co-habitated & co-mingled funds.

Zoom123, do not stay in an abusive relationship for a second longer. Reach out to the local immigrant community, your fellow countrymen (and women) will be there to help you through this difficult time.

[bigdog 376]

If you cant hold out till the removal fo conditions file for them yourself and read the instructions on the I751. Divorce is not a crime and you cannot be deported. You entered in good faith, and gave it your all. Sorry for your troubles.

[Aztec&Taino 144]

You can prepare to separate and move out. Also, you can file for a divorce. You would be able to remove conditions of your conditional residence, on your own, proving that you entered the marriage in good faith. Best wishes

[EAbbas 213]

emotional and verbal abuse is so bad.. ive been there with my first husband and the feeling of not being good enough or important enough or worth anything is horrible.. I lived it for a long time thinking I needed to change when in fact it was him who needed to change. I only figured it out after years of marriage lots of antidepressents and finally a friend encouraging me to go to couseling and putting together 2 yr plan to leave him.

He would sabotage my work... he wanted me to stay home with the children and say yes you can work then he would bring the children to my work and drop them off in my office and say he needs to go do something with his drums. I had a difficult time at work explaining why my children (young ones at that) were in my office lots of times.

He would tell me its his house I need to leave and I know where the door is. The worst part was it wasnt just him... his family was like that too.. they wanted him to live with my mother in law and care for her. I didnt mind him caring for her but they didnt want me or the children to be part of his life.

Finally my 2 yr plan worked and not long after I found my husband now. We have a loving respectful understanding relationship and not once in the two years ive been with him has he EVER yelled at me or made me feel anything less than a princess and that my importance to him is above everything else.

Do what these ppl have suggested.. I don't know anything about how to file on your own or divorce during the process but research it be as diplomatic as possible so there arent any issues and if you fear anything.. and I mean ANYTHING... get out and don't have contact with him at all without another person around get a restraining order if you must.

Contact your local community for help. There may be a small group of ppl in your area from the same country.. I know here there are about 10 families from pakistan and Ive already dont some networking with them for when my husband comes. If you don't know where to look you can look in the phone book for markets specific to your country ...and call them and ask if there is a group or anything you can contact. They may know of somehting.

Im very sorry for what your going thru but you need to realize that you entered into the marriage with the intention to stay married but you can't help what the other person does or says.. you can only do for yourself. If he can't change then it can only get worse. Stay strong and know that you are important and you deserve better than this.

Best of luck to you