Oh well, will go the snail route on NVC

[Loueikun 5]

No Bride Price, She paid for the Wedding Photos to alleviate the engagement rings and flying out.

She has no family or friends here in the USA, she mentions maybe her parents come to visit later down the road (Tourist Visa) because her parents do work, her Mom owns the condo and they have a new car.

Her father is a freelance auto buyer, he buys cars and fixes them up to resell.

They do not speak any english at all. She speaks english with me. She has not said "do not want to communicate" I mean she just takes longer to respond to me. she is not an early morning person and her new schedule

may have affected that. Text (I can understand, it cost money) she has one of my bank ATM cards, but has not touched any of the money for a while. She seems very independent and works hard. When I offer to try to take her shopping, she turns it down a lot, she says she wants me to save money.

I think the sort of depression may have started at one time 3 months ago, I was put on paid administrative leave for almost 2 weeks, due to some investigation which I was cleared of, but I did sort of abruptly say to her that I may have

lost my job, cause the way I was treated was they walked me out and had me turn in all my items and told me not to contact anyone or enter the property. She became distant about it. She still has not told her parents I was laid-off from my secondary job, I had a secondary job that I was using for extra cash and to save up for the wedding party for next year, but got laid off from that. But that may be the reason of "lose face" her parents constantly ask about when the actual wedding party will be, but have to save up first albeit a little slower.

Her parents seem very nice, well the thing is the entire time I stayed with them, I tried to offer to pay for food and attractions, but her Mom always interrupted me and never let me pay for anything.

She got mad at me when I left a comment on her QQ profile, I just said "hi how are you" she said its private and she blocked me from QQ oopsy, she has our wedding photos on her QQ, but they do not show me, they are just the self shots of her in her dresses. I think she needs to grow up.

Edited August 30, 2011 by Loueikun

[MuDelphi 159]

Her QQ is private to you, her husband....the hell?

[Loueikun 5]

I am not insecure or some controller, and did not delve into it much, she said that I do not understand her about it and she states she has her own life and privacy.

[Loueikun 5]

It would be funny if you could actually contact the exact VO and you could provide a list of silly questions, and they could video tape the look on her face and see the reaction for candid camera.

"Since you met your husband, it seems you feel he is fat while he is not even fat and everyone else does not agree with you, how is that?"

"Why do you refuse to drive the handed down car from your husband because it is true red not candy red metallic?"

"It appears based on our government internet check, you show blocking on your husband from QQ, can you explain?"

But it would end up with a endless question flow chart of excuses.

[FoundNanning 0]

I believe you are correct in your gut reaction to 'go slowly'.

[bergamot 0]

It would be funny if you could actually contact the exact VO and you could provide a list of silly questions, and they could video tape the look on her face and see the reaction for candid camera.

"Since you met your husband, it seems you feel he is fat while he is not even fat and everyone else does not agree with you, how is that?"

"Why do you refuse to drive the handed down car from your husband because it is true red not candy red metallic?"

"It appears based on our government internet check, you show blocking on your husband from QQ, can you explain?"

But it would end up with a endless question flow chart of excuses.

you are pretty thin according to both Chinese and American standard . I am fr China--no secrets fr husband-that's Chinese culture. and of course I have QQ. it is very very strange -blocking on you fr QQ? you only block someone you dislike , or his message which you don;t want to be seen by those on your QQ list

[ning1986 0]

Ok, here is another point of view.

Sometimes your wife may feel insecure, like any wife she may feel now that shes married to you, any imperfection that you may have, she already decided that you're the one that she'll spend her life with.

You should know your wife better than any of us here, so if she is acting strange for any reason, you'll most likely feel it.

Another way to interpret her actions could be that she is afraid to introduce you to everyone she knows, hence she block you on QQ, but as strange as it sounds, I don't think that is the only reason.

My wife was really pissed off at me because she got a blue slip on her interview (around 3 weeks ago), and now we're placed under AP after submitting all the documents, however we still made up and talk over skype and chat on QQ.

Maybe you can call your wife and let her know that you two need to talk, if there is something bothering her, tell her to let you know.

I think communication is very important.

[Casprd 167]

Sorry but blocking you on QQ is not normal behavior. Not talking to you because she would rather sleep late is not normal behavior. Calling you fat and being derrisive is not a "cultural thing" and is not normal behavior.

I can understand not introducing you to friends and family before getting married as that is a cultural thing. Even to a certain extent after getting married for the friends at least. My wife rarely includes me when she goes to visit friends, but that is because it is school friends and a "girls night" type of thing plus they don't speak english so I would just end up sitting there being bored.

It sounds like your gut feeling is that something is not right with the relationship and you know that, but it is past time to coddle her for presumed "cultural differences" Understanding each others culture is a two way street. You need to make it clear to her that these behaviors are not acceptable.

[Loueikun 5]

She seems better now lately since my Mom had some talks with her

Yeah her school friends and her Mahjong partners, she does not share and she has her own girls stuff to do. I never ask about it and she also does not share or involve me. She has her own space in life too.

But good thing is her Uncles, Aunts, main family know me and they have had a big dinner with me, (yeah the rotating table private room kind) But all speak only Chinese though.

[Darnell 8,478]

How is she now?

[Loueikun 5]

She is ok now