Is it Common for a Thai woman to be uncomfortable saying "I Love You"?

[anya-D 8]

The only "Thai" lady asnwered to this and I got ignored....

[anya-D 8]

Good that she does show effection. should be nothing to worry about but to hear ' I love you' once in a while is good for a relationship, especially with different culture where you cant really 'read' the gesture coz of the difference.

One thing to consider, Thais are very much 'service minded' so that should not be confuse with 'love'. I would pour beer/water/offer food to person I just 'know' and they would think I care, but I just did coz that's what I do, gave wrong impression to many though

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

two unhelpful/snarky posts removed. any further posts along that line will result in a thread ban or worse.

[JD63 4]

You'd be wise to take Anya's and Ning's advice. That's an excellent book to read, and will save you many headaches later on. 6 weeks is not enough time to understand Thai culture. 6 years probably isn't enough.

What I do understand is that I love you doesn't have the same emotional baggage or "seriousness" as it does in western culture. It's not the words that matter, it's the deeds I suppose.

[Captain Oates 911]

I didnt say i love you until he became my husband. I love you is so special for us.

I dont hug my parents as well. I kiss their hand as my respect or when saying good bye. Maybe Thai similar to Indonesia?

Yes these cultural things are so weighty.

For instance it is very important for Americans to say they 'LOVE' America. I have never heard an English person say they LOVE England. It's the 'stiff upper lip' I suppose plus other cultures reserve the word 'LOVE' for people (or pets !)rather than a country which has many facets to it - some of which I am sure they don't love.

Now I am a US citizen, I live in fear of an American asking me if I LOVE America because I know the reaction if I say -"Well no, it's very nice and doesn't rain as much and the roads are big and so are the parking spaces and the cars and gasoline are so cheap and I am happy here" - because I know that is not enough - it's LOVE or get out. I think Americans probably mean something else and that is where the translation fails.

So far it hasn't happened. I am a good citizen and I obey the law and pay all my taxes and would not hurt America, and do everything to be loyal and to assist it - but I would struggle to say I am in LOVE with everything.

So I could well imagine another person saying that they need to have a history of actual love before they could say they loved a person.

In many marriages, it sets off with "I love you" and then grades down to tolerance at best - so setting off slowly and getting that full relationship first before blurting out "I love you ", is preferable, and more valuable when it eventually arrives.

I was single 18 years between marriages and encountered women who said that after 3 dates - it's really unsettling and not at all welcome.

I reckon an honest retecence is much better than a forced statement

[Karee 4,190]

I'm not sure why people need to hear words when actions speak louder. My Thai wife tells me she loves me everyday when I walk out the door to go to work. I suspect she assumes that is what should say in America.

I know she loves me, I don't need to hear it on a regular basis. I've met "girls" on the first night that told me they loved me. Probably had to do with the 300 quid I had. Talk is cheap, actions speak louder than words

[Captain Oates 911]

I'm not sure why people need to hear words when actions speak louder. My Thai wife tells me she loves me everyday when I walk out the door to go to work. I suspect she assumes that is what should say in America.

I know she loves me, I don't need to hear it on a regular basis. I've met "girls" on the first night that told me they loved me. Probably had to do with the 300 quid I had. Talk is cheap, actions speak louder than words

You have it down and thats for sure !

In the words of Adam ant

If the words unspoken

get stuck in your throat

send a treasure token token

Write it on a pound note, pound note !

I had a gf who opened my fridge and took a bite out of each of my tomatoes and put them back. She knew I was unemployed and I had little to eat. Then she insisted on cocktails in the pub. I should have seen the signs. What she said was irrelevant - its how you get treated. She ended up seeing me 3 nights and another guy 4 nights.

Rather have a coy one that treats me right

[anya-D 8]

Action speaks louder than words that's for sure, especially in a long term relationship. But to establish a relationship, some mutual understanding should be shown, mostly by words, especially when there are two differenct cultures involved. Then, once that is established, saying I love you every 5 minutes, once a day or none at all should depend on their relationship.

I do like to hear my husband say he loves me once in a while, or else it'll feel like being with a roommate with benefit

[Captain Oates 911]

Action speaks louder than words that's for sure, especially in a long term relationship. But to establish a relationship, some mutual understanding should be shown, mostly by words, especially when there are two differenct cultures involved. Then, once that is established, saying I love you every 5 minutes, once a day or none at all should depend on their relationship.

I do like to hear my husband say he loves me once in a while, or else it'll feel like being with a roommate with benefit

I know what you mean. After a year or two, the mushy stuff declines and then you are left with reality. I have known women who's personality makes me want to love them very, very much - but then their habits and the way they run their lives makes me know I could never be with them full time. Chain smoking, boozing cheap wine, credit cards etc.

Then there are the others who are not all lovey but who's personal ethos is the same as mine. They don't run up big credit card debts on junk or chain smoke or leave you standing at street corners when they turn up 45 minutes late.

These people who 'fit' with who YOU are, are usually much less lovey dovey but are much more 'suitable'

At that point you realize that you cant win and you make a mature choice. You get married to a suitable one and the woman hopes he will change to being 'everything' she wanted and the man hopes she won't change.

Her wanting him to change, changes her - and he is crestfallen and feels duped seeing she has changed

This is the universal experience so it's best to be appraised of what is up ahead

Edited September 1, 2011 by Alan the Red

[googled 13]

My fiance from Thailand never tells me she loves me either. She does say "Pom Rak Kuhn" a lot. I have no idea what it means but it is starting to get annoying.

[Karee 4,190]

My fiance from Thailand never tells me she loves me either. She does say "Pom Rak Kuhn" a lot. I have no idea what it means but it is starting to get annoying.

Means "I love you"

[rin and john 71]

My fiance from Thailand never tells me she loves me either. She does say "Pom Rak Kuhn" a lot. I have no idea what it means but it is starting to get annoying.

So your wife thinks your a lady?

Man to lady => Pom rak khun

Lady to man => Chan rak khun

[Nicoco 26]

So your wife thinks your a lady?

Man to lady => Pom rak khun

Lady to man => Chan rak khun

On topic, IDK if it's weird, but me and Ice say "I love you" everyday. Seems to work for us, and we know we both mean it cause it took a while for us to say it.

[Dan and Judy 614]

My fiance from Thailand never tells me she loves me either. She does say "Pom Rak Kuhn" a lot. I have no idea what it means but it is starting to get annoying.

Don't let the others fool you. It means "take out the trash"

[Karee 4,190]

Don't let the others fool you. It means "take out the trash"