catching hell

[cardigans5 43]

It's almost like these posts are jokes. It's hard to fathom that a person can be so bad to a person they supposedly loves and also that someone accepts this treatment. I hope you start a new life without this person...no one deserves that treatment.

[NY_BX 397]

Biggest myths for women about their men: "Oh, he'll change".

Biggest myths for men about their women: "She is not gonna leave me".

Great way to put it!

[Josie-Be-Happy 11]

Biggest myths for women about their men: "Oh, he'll change".

Biggest myths for men about their women: "She is not gonna leave me".

I couldn't have said that any better. I know there are cultural differences, however, a relationship will only work when you are able to compromise. He doesn't sound like he wants to compromise on anything - his way or no way. It's very disrespectful for a spouse to talk or demean his/her own spouse to other people. Even worse, he doesn't want to bond with your two other children? I don't like to judge people, but if it were me, I'd leave him. Forget about the time, money, and energy that was spent on trying to make this relationship work. There are better men out there...spend more time enjoying your life and a new future. Wishing you the best of luck.

[ghana1821 0]

I feel your pain. It happened to me too. After spending more than $15K to bring her to the States and put her through nursing school so she can earn decent paycheck, she run away with another man. As to whether you should attend his AOS interview, is up to you. But, before you go to the interview with him, please, know that he is not going to change.

and I really do feel like he's not gonna change. I forgot mention, I also saw a half of a email from of his friend saying even if you divorce her afterwards(#######).That took the cake, I then knew he wasn't serious.

[clueless55 18]

Get out of this mess and stop his green card process. Your hell will only continue and worsen if you don't.

I was in the same situation. Get rid of him, legally. Do whatever you can to end this.

You can't assume the problems are due to cultural differences. He has a different agenda, he's using you. Get out.

Edited August 27, 2011 by clueless55

[patient2010 93]

If a person shows you who they really are believe them -May Angelou

I wish you nothing but happiness and blessings in whatever decision you decide

[HisWill 0]

This sounds oh to familiar. It is a hard decision especially with a child involved. Listen to your head not your heart. Others are in this situation and their spouse already have the green card. Some have accepted it due to the shame of those who would say I told you so, some are too depressed to move, some are too broke to get a divorce, others have men who won't leave as they are dependent on their spouse and won't leave until they have saved enough money to do what they really want to do. Some need a car, to further their education and money in the bank more clothes and then they will move on. Others just trust that the Christain woman (or man) they married will not give up and keep praying for a change because they believe all things are possible with God. Whatever reason people stay or move on, it is a process and most women just wake up one day and say I am threw! Then and only then is it over and definitely too late. Keeping you and others in this situation that have been silently living this nightmare in my prayers.

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

You got lucky.

You never really know a person until you have lived with them for a while. The good part here is that you found out that the guy you brought to the US is a loser and abuser early enough to prevent serious damage to your health and well-being. Get out while you still can. There are currently over 310,000,000 people living in the US, so based on math alone there should be a few thousand among them with a similar ethnic and cultural background who treat you like an equal, not like a servant.

[brigobalgownie 0]

What visa did he enter on? What is his status now?

If a good friend was telling me this story about their life I would advise them to divorce and move on. If you two are at the adjustment of status phase I would advise you to pull your affidavit of support. If he already has been approved for a green card then simply divorce and move on.

*Moved from US Citizenship forum to Effect of Major Family Changes forum*

I definitely agree with Anh map! You need to do what's best for you, but also keep in mind the repercussions of your decision(if you do indeed pull your affidavit of support). He is the father of your child; he is not a good father, but still your child's father. Do you want him to ever be a part of your child's life? If so, sending him back to Ghana is not the answer. I'm sorry for the hell you are going through. I know how long it took and how hard it was waiting for your man. I can't imagine the disappointment and heartbreak you must be going through. Be strong!

[gamer 1]

Its probably a cultural difference. His views about what a wife should be, is based on his up bringing from where he is from. Different interpretations on the word "Wife".

[diath 6]

Leave him before it's too late.