sex before marrying ?

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Like the studies show, intent affects the outcome. I wish you and your love great success in marriage, sweeties!

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Living together before marriage and having sex before marriage are two vastly different topics. Cohabitation involves property and all kinds of legal issues that don't exist with a couple who are in a sexual relationship, but don't live together. I don't think you can conclude that it is the sex part before marriage that results in higher divorce rates.

No problem, Steve. I was simply responding to sweeties' insertion of the cohabitation issue. So, how would you account for the correlation between higher divorce rates and more premarital sex in the last 30 years, in or outside of cohabitation?

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Living together before marriage and having sex before marriage are two vastly different topics. Cohabitation involves property and all kinds of legal issues that don't exist with a couple who are in a sexual relationship, but don't live together. I don't think you can conclude that it is the sex part before marriage that results in higher divorce rates.

No problem, Steve. I was simply responding to sweeties' insertion of the cohabitation issue. So, how would you account for the correlation between higher divorce rates and more premarital sex in the last 30 years, in or outside of cohabitation?

Good question, but I'm hesitant to believe there is a direct link between premarital sex and divorce. Divorce was not an economic option for many, especially women prior to 30 years ago. There's many factors that play into our high divorce rate and I would agree with you that an inderlying consumerist mindset plays a significant role. We live in a disposible society where permanence is rarely considered ideal. I, however, disagree that choosing to have sex before marriage is simply an extension of that mindset. It may be for some, but not everyone.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Of course, not everyone is the same, but expressions of how it is important to pleasure oneself are prevelent in this society. Does that have no role in the decision to engage in premarital sex despite one's intent to commit or not? Can one tell how much influence such messages have over their choice when doing so openly is so acceptable?

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Of course, not everyone is the same, but expressions of how it is important to pleasure oneself are prevelent in this society. Does that have no role in the decision to engage in premarital sex despite one's intent to commit or not? Can one tell how much influence such messages have over their choice when doing so openly is so acceptable?

Well, I think the negative aspect of a consumer mindset is the notion that we can find satisfaction or pleasure from an external source. Marketers play up on that notion and are fully aware of its flaw because it means we're never 'full' or feel full for very long. Making love, however, isn't just about satisfying oneself but giving to another. There's sex and there's making love. The first is self centered but the latter is the ultimate act of love, IMO.

[Mr and Mrs Bird 0]

Hi szsz

Thank you for the wishes for us

We are both 48 and both with alot of experience of everything in our past.

We are both starting to begin a new life and want this to be together.

I am not a woman from a country that need to search for a man in another country.

But we met and falled in love.

That's the only reason I am an immigrate person and try to figure about the cultures I will be up against when finally arrive

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Two sensitive persons in one night! I'm lovin' this!

Edited December 30, 2006 by szsz

[Mr and Mrs Bird 0]

Two sensitive persons in one night! I'm lovin' this!

[garya505 2]

It appears that commitment is a key factor in the success of a marriage. While sex before marriage in itself may not have any affect on the success of the marriage, could the decision to engage in sex before marriage indicate a lack of commitment or suggest that the relationship is more about pleasure than building a strong union?

[RaspberrySwirl 20]

I don't know what the argument is about, really.

But I do see the "higher divorce rates because we're going at it like rabid weasels" argument being used.

Isn't divorce just more socially acceptable nowadays so people realize they don't have to be stuck in an awful marriage and file for divorce?

I'm thinking about all those young women who want to feel like Pwincess for a day and fall in love with the idea of marrying some guy. I'm thinking about all those parents who want their daughter to have a splashy white wedding and almost force young people to get married for the wrong reasons. I'm thinking about how society (think about how only married couples would get certain tax benefits etc. before) pushes people into marrying for all the wrong reasons.

How many of us are on here who only got "married" because according to immigration laws, that was the only solution for us?

I'm rambling but I hate hearing that argument.

[bucknekkid 0]

Would you buy a new car without taking it for a test drive?....

[Mr and Mrs Bird 0]

Oh my god LOL

[Mr and Mrs Bird 0]

Just shut up

I haven't seen him since last christmas 2005

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I don't know what the argument is about, really.

But I do see the "higher divorce rates because we're going at it like rabid weasels" argument being used.

Isn't divorce just more socially acceptable nowadays so people realize they don't have to be stuck in an awful marriage and file for divorce?

I'm thinking about all those young women who want to feel like Pwincess for a day and fall in love with the idea of marrying some guy. I'm thinking about all those parents who want their daughter to have a splashy white wedding and almost force young people to get married for the wrong reasons. I'm thinking about how society (think about how only married couples would get certain tax benefits etc. before) pushes people into marrying for all the wrong reasons.

How many of us are on here who only got "married" because according to immigration laws, that was the only solution for us?

I'm rambling but I hate hearing that argument.

Hate it, if you want, but it's an undeniable part of the equation, no matter why you marry. If you feel forced to marry because of immigration, you may want to rethink that too. I'd hate for you to become a statistic.

It appears that commitment is a key factor in the success of a marriage. While sex before marriage in itself may not have any affect on the success of the marriage, could the decision to engage in sex before marriage indicate a lack of commitment or suggest that the relationship is more about pleasure than building a strong union?

Pleasure is the name of the game. Test drive to see how smooth the drive is, as if it can't possibly get bumpy later.

[Mr and Mrs Bird 0]

uhh

I am not a kind of this

I am really in love with this man and give up my whole life

And actually I take very good money with me