Dissolving love and a missed green card

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

Actually all of the advice for her to hold the Greencard for Ransom is a violation of the TOS as she has NO LEGAL RIGHT to possess HIS greencard.

If he didn't have AP and left BEFORE the approval then I would agree that the OP should report this to USCIS when she return the Greencard to them.

[Harsh_77 718]

I'd tell him you'll mail the Green Card after he repays you for the debts you incurred on his behalf. After he pays you back, mail the Green Card, but to USCIS.

I like this thought since he used you make sure he pays for all the debts he incurred you and in meanwhile send it back to USCIS informing he has abandoned the GC and later when you file for divorce make sure its clear he has left country and you are no longer liable for him ever becoming a public charge.

Actually all of the advice for her to hold the Greencard for Ransom is a violation of the TOS as she has NO LEGAL RIGHT to possess HIS greencard.

If he didn't have AP and left BEFORE the approval then I would agree that the OP should report this to USCIS when she return the Greencard to them.

No we are not asking her to hold the card, just tell the bloke you are holding his hard so he pays her back and in meanwhile send GC back.

[nane1104 146]

Don't try to blackmail him with the greencard. It's technically his, eventhough he shouldn't have it if he left before the greencard got approved.

I hope you didn't open the envelope, again, it's HIS.

The proper way to deal with this is

1) return the greencard to USCIS with a statement from you that he has left the US with the date he left.

2) start with divorce proceedings and move on with your life.

3) if he owes you money, let the court handle that.

I am sorry you have to go through this, but don't get yourself into trouble over this.

[Dan & Jenni 457]

I'd tell him you'll mail the Green Card after he repays you for the debts you incurred on his behalf. After he pays you back, mail the Green Card, but to USCIS.

[Brit Abroad 166]

You need to decide what you want to do about the relationship before you decide what to do about his immigration status. If you believe that there is a future, and he left on Advance Parole, then he needs to know that he has to be present in the US and try to fit in with the American way of life (ie work for a living, not use it as an opportunity to doss around at your expense). If the relationship is done, and he left without AP, then he has voluntarily abandoned his resident status and you need to return the green card to USCIS for them to note.

Sorry to hear you've experienced the rough end of an immigrant relationship. Maybe the lack of ability to get a job depressed him, made him realise what he was missing at home and it all got too much for him. It can be very demoralising (especially for a man) to not have a job and have so much free time on your hands. You need to talk and find out exactly where you both stand before you make any life changing decisions.

Good luck to you, young lady.

Edited August 19, 2011 by Brit Abroad

[BrandonandKhandaa 1]

I hope you didn't open the envelope, again, it's HIS.

TITLE 18--CRIMES AND CRIMINAL PROCEDURE

PART I--CRIMES

CHAPTER 83--POSTAL SERVICE

Sec. 1702. Obstruction of correspondence

Whoever takes any letter, postal card, or package out of any post

office or any authorized depository for mail matter, or from any letter

or mail carrier, or which has been in any post office or authorized

depository, or in the custody of any letter or mail carrier, before it

has been delivered to the person to whom it was directed, with design to

obstruct the correspondence, or to pry into the business or secrets of

another, or opens, secretes, embezzles, or destroys the same, shall be

fined under this title or imprisoned not more than five years, or both.

She had authority to take the mail from the mail box. If in their vows or on the marriage certificate, they have promised not to hold secrets from each other as some marriage vows state, it would not against the law to open her husband's mail. Otherwise, he may technically ask for charges to be put against her. Whether a judge would hold that up in court is another matter.

[Simon and Janet 6]

ALL great advice, and gave me things to think about. I'm not trying to be bitter about this, and I don't deal back worse pain than what was inflicted upon me. I told him I need his actions to do the talking. We'll see how that goes.

I'll just be glad when it's all over and done with and I don't feel like some old pair of socks that keep coming back to haunt him. I'm 28 years old. There is more life to be living, and more love to be giving to the RIGHT man. I just hope it doesn't take too long to find "the one"... Maybe I'll find him locally, on US soil hehe

Thank you all! <3

[Sannybel 1]

I am so sorry you are goign through this. You should probably return the green card and call USCIS and ask what the best way to deal with your issue is. He doesnt deserve it and the green card is not a right it is a priviledge which he acquired through you, the person he is now hurting with his actions. God Bless and realize you will put this behind you!

[bigdog 376]

So he was here and did nothing but hang online and watch sports TV, I spent all my time and energy working to pay for things he wanted and needed, and now he's gone back home. He told me it was to find work there (because he couldn't find work here), but ended up dissolving the relationship and now he's flirting with one of his fb pals (forgetting he's still married, I guess?)

I am utterly heartbroken. I didn't get married to get a divorce. His lack of involvement in our marriage should have been warning signs to me, but ever-hopeful, I had thought he might change and prove my disbelieving family wrong.. or just prove my faith in him to be right.

Thanks to THIS lovely site, I discovered he had 2nd thoughts about our relationship. I guess when you spend all your time being idle and NOT working, the fake internet world becomes the one you choose to live in. All I wanted was for him to put some effort in. Now I have nothing left after all the effort I put out.

His green card arrived AFTER he left to go home. He's requesting I send it to him. Do I wait for money from him first to pay off the rest of the debts he had me incur on OUR behalf? I'm doing my best not to be emotional, but I don't like being abandoned after my best efforts have been put forth out of love.

(He was more upset over a possible ban from visiting his precious NYC than turning off the TV and attempting to work on things with his wife. See previous posts.)

I am so sorry this happened to you. Send the card back to USCIS, returned to Home Country not at this address. OR XXXXXX ?

[Robert&Karen 264]

I am glad to see that you gave it a shot, bending over backwards even. In the future you won't look back and wonder if you did more.

I'd return the green cared to sender and say he moved back to AUS. Include his new address in case USCIS wants anything to do with him, they can send all further notices directly to him.

When he left the country without his green card he made his choice. Now if whe wants back in he can get in line with everyone else. No sense in you speeding him along based on fraud. Look out for yourself and let him learn a lesson for once.

[Dan & Jenni 457]

Look out for yourself and let him learn a lesson for once.

[keka 1]

Cheer up! Its better if he is far , because if he back then you can be more confuse.. take care of your heart! Of course you deserve somebody that love you too and of course you will find him But dont lisent the "IF YOU LOVE ME YOU WILL SEND THE GREEN CARD"

Dont let himplay with your heart!!

[dannyaha 0]

Young lady I just have to tell you exactly what you have to do. You see I am somewhat of an expert on this. I brought my wife to USA on a CR-1. Within 3 weeks of arriving she had two affairs going. One from a man she had met online before arriving here. The other, from a Mexican American she met at Headstart English class. After a year in USA, she became pregnant from the later. (They lost the child due to complications). Her green card is expired and I turned her in for Visa fraud. You think immigration will do anything? Hell no. Nothing and she is laughing about it. We went to court today and our DIVORCE IS FINAL. I feel guilty about bringing her and two boys here.

You tell the no good SOB that wants his green card to go fly a kite !!!!! sorry, I had to vent....

[Enigma11561 336]

It's been awhile but I think that green cards cannot be forwarded. They must be delivered to the address listed on your documents. So...if he is no longer at this address it should be labeled as "moved" or "addressee unknown" and put back in the mail to be returned. Let USCIS deal with it. Not your problem. If by some chance the envelope was opened, well...sometimes things get lost in the mail? Never received? (hint hint)

[JohnandWendyB 21]

I would mail it to USCIS with a note about how he wasn't participating in the marriage which appears that perhaps he was just interested in the GC. That's how I see it anyway. I feel for you!