Racial statements about our son

[^_^ 5,021]

... sometimes at work the girls, innocently, make jokes about thing I say wrong or differently and keep "correcting" me. One girl has taken to yelling "speak American!". Today for instance, I asked about stationary.. you know, pens, pencils etc and they had no idea what I was talking about. Apparently here it's just called office products or pens or pencils or whatever.

Your coworkers are uneducated rubes. Stationery is a perfectly acceptable word in the United States. It refers to writing paper, envelopes, things like that. Not pens and pencils. And it is spelled with an e, not an a. Stationary is standing still, not moving.

In fact, I just stole this off the Staples website to demonstrate that it is a word used in the United States.

Edited August 18, 2011 by \

[TheFantastics09 19]

It sounds like the 10 year old was thinking with a child's innocence. As you know, children sometimes state the obvious without historical reference of shoulds and should-nots. He was probably using logic and analysis with no thought to race or whether this might hurt someone who has a pre-disposed sensitivity. As to the parent.... they quite probably had a discussion with the child in private.

My four year old does this.... he is bi-racial and points out EVERYONE'S skin tone. At first I was embarrassed, but this is his way of expressing what he sees etc.

[Mononoke28 135]

My four year old does this.... he is bi-racial and points out EVERYONE'S skin tone. At first I was embarrassed, but this is his way of expressing what he sees etc.

I think that's one of the best qualities children have because as adults, we've tried to be so politically correct we're messing with our own minds. You can't pretend you don't see someone's color when the differences are so obvious. You can't deny someone's culture or heritage or even gender for the same reasons. We just need to accept each other just the way we are, acknowledge we're different and celebrate those differences. But pretending someone is not black or Latino or Arab because I don't want to see color is not the right way to accept other people.

Diana

[Mononoke28 135]

I will also mention that I don't exactly get racism, but sometimes at work the girls, innocently, make jokes about thing I say wrong or differently and keep "correcting" me. One girl has taken to yelling "speak American!". Today for instance, I asked about stationary.. you know, pens, pencils etc and they had no idea what I was talking about. Apparently here it's just called office products or pens or pencils or whatever. Instead of saying just that (because I explained it and they now understood) they went on and on about how random that was, and what they thought I meant, and how I need to "speak american!". It find this annoying and it DOES get old.. very very quickly. Just accept I have an accent, ask me if you're not entirely sure what I'm saying and it'll be fine.

This is one of the things I don't like about people who live in their own bubble, have never tried to see outside of their comfort zone, have never traveled and don't even know anything about what is going on the world because they simply don't care. Speak American? That's just rude. I personally love it when I hear other people call other things by a different name, it happens to me on a daily basis whenever I speak Spanish with other Latinos and even with people from Spain. But I never say "speak Colombian!" What gives me the right to tell them that? Same with this people. What gives them the right to say that "American English" is the right way to speak it?

Diana

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Your coworkers are uneducated rubes. Stationery is a perfectly acceptable word in the United States. It refers to writing paper, envelopes, things like that. Not pens and pencils. And it is spelled with an e, not an a. Stationary is standing still, not moving.

In fact, I just stole this off the Staples website to demonstrate that it is a word used in the United States.

Sorry about the typo but they knew it existed but said they thought of it more as monogrammed type stuff. In Aus, it means a lot more than paper etc. Here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stationery you'll see it's pens, paper, glue, pencil cases.. all kinds of office products but even if you don't specifically mean "stationery" they'll ask for clarification of what kind you're after (in Aus this is). Either way I was just asking where the book for ordering stationery was.. I really didn't think it was rocket science :S

Edited August 18, 2011 by Vanessa&Tony

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Today for instance, I asked about stationary.. you know, pens, pencils etc and they had no idea what I was talking about.

... they knew it existed but said they thought of it more as monogrammed type stuff.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

When I explained they knew what I was talking about Lol. Okay run down of conversation:

Me - Hey, do you know where the stationery ordering book is?

Them - The what?

Me - the book for ordering stationery

Them - Ordering what?

Me - you know, pens, paper... stationery..\

Them - Huh? What exactly are you after?

Me - Post-it flags.

Them - What did you call it?

Me - Stationery

Them - Ooohh no that's monogrammed stuff here... SPEAK AMERICAN! Lol. I didn't know what you were talking about, we don't have stationery here

Me - Yeah it's pens and pencils and...

Them - No here it's not. No-one will know what you're talking about. Lol. SPEAK AMERICAN

Then of course at least 5 minutes of explaining to me what stationery is here in the US, how I'm wrong, and how no-one will know what I'm talking about if I call it stationery.

Edited August 18, 2011 by Vanessa&Tony

[^_^ 5,021]

You're a good sport, Vanessa. I was just messing with you but now I feel bad.

[nane1104 146]

Shows the ignorance of some people. I worked for AAFES before, the military "department store" and I was indeed in charge of the stationary! And oh no, I didn't come up with that term either.

I know how confusing it is though to be told you say something wrong when in fact, you know you are right.

[Mononoke28 135]

See, I understand why they were confused if you wanted to order "stationery" because in the US we simply call it "office supplies". But I just don't see the need to say SPEAK AMERICAN. Stationery is a valid term, especially is that's what they call it in another country. No one is wrong and no one is right.

Diana

[MIDUVIL 34]

hello,

Maybe where you are living (Louisiana) there is a strong background of racism.

I don't suffer fromt that in upstate NY, and I think that people here (maybe where I'm living) are much less racist than what I heard about.

Like somebody else said, in her area it's white again black, black again latino, latino again......there are always differences and bad people hurt others...

It can be your accent, skin color, social position, clothes... to make a difference between humans. And I can tell that here it's better that what I used to.

@ Caribbean girl- life'sjourney

By the way saturday, I went to see a caribbean-jamaican festival in my area.

Ok, I'm black and I "suffer" from racism, I came from the same place than you, not Jamaique... guess it.

I lived in France, and I can tell you that's better here (maybe also in upstate Ny). When you are in France, you have always to explain "why you are a french and black in the same time". I live that when I was around 20 years old and was shocked, I was color blind before. The problem is you read it on the majority of the people eyes. When I left France, I never saw again this sight.

until I met a french woman here, my husband told her that I'm french, and I saw the question on her eyes "why are you french?". It can just be an interrogation, but things have to do with the french education...

So I can fully understand racism and how it can be disturbing, frustating, exasperating, disgusting... But I can go over, I met some wonderful people here, whatever race they are, and there are idiots everywhere.

Racism is awful but I saw also self pity (too much) here for anything, and that it's stories to excuse bad habits. Don't tell me that I'm racist, I'm black, don't tell me that I'm wrong, go on a jail and you will see.

Just to reply to you, and I won't be longer because it's not the topic.

Edited August 18, 2011 by MIDUVIL

[Blumchen 0]

I'm from Canada, and we use the word Stationary in the same way you are referring to, as all office supplies. I guess it depends on the area and the person. American english is for the most part the same as Canadian english, but I do notice a lot of conflicts in terminology from time to time, and I have to be incredibly specific or dumb things down.

I can tell from the photo of your son, as small as it is, that he will grow up to be beautiful and get a lot of attention later in life. Biracial kids are everywhere, and they're not going to disappear... more and more actors and models with mixed heritage are making their marks in the world. Sooner or later people will get used to it... but unfortunately racism is taking its sweet time in retiring.

[study_up 1]

Americans use the word "stationary" too---its just that apparently some people slept through their K-12 education. Can't be helped.

As for the OP, if I found myself in the same situation with my daughter (black dad, white mom), I would say "This is Tendayi, what is your name?" and then something like "yes, her skin is brown, like yours is (peach, red, sickly yellow, whatever,) but she is Black like her dad. Isnt she lucky?" its not that hard to outsmart a 10 year old is it?

[Britt♥Marco 9]

Thank you.

If I may add, racism comes in many forms and variations. Some people make very "subtle" racial comments, some maybe subconciously so I wouldn't even call them racist as I think that would require intent.

As for the boy, I really don't think he meant to be hurtful but at the same time I can see how he might have heard racial comments before that he was processing and subconciously applying to my son.

Like I said, we are living in the south, in Louisiana and we have experienced a lot of discrimination. We often get the shittiest tables in restaurants, have to wait for service or the waiters are rude. And don't get me started on nasty looks

we get almost anywhere we go.

It's getting really "funny" when my husband is wearing his uniform and gets asked if he is really an officer. Seriously? It's 2011!!!

I'm curious as to where in Louisiana you are. I'm white and I've also experienced A LOT of discrimination, so it doesn't go just one way, trust me.

[EminTX 131]

Rednecks versus educated liberals? Huh? How about a response from an educated redneck?

I'm from Rural America. Where I grew up, there was a lot more mixing between Latinos and whites but only because there was a higher ratio of those categories than others. When I moved down to the Houston area, where I have lived in predominately black areas after that, well....the racism is so overt that you can taste it.

Examples: When my son was about 3, a black employee in the supermarket rubbed his head and said, "Had a little jungle fever, didn't ya?" I responded, "Yeah, most Mexicans hang out in the jungle." Then I chewed him out for being an ####. He responded that in black culture, because most men don't do anything with their kids, they are always asking about the parents so they have a clue who is who. Uh, yeah. Right.

Another ongoing example:

My company has a policy that we are to greet each other when passing by in hallways or on the sidewalk to show our friendless and have "culture" of compassion and teamwork. I do that anyway (It's a very Southern thing.) I have noticed that if the person is white, I always get a greeting, Latino-always, black-about 50/50, Asian-young folks/always--old folks/rarely. It is interesting to me. I get greetings almost every time from African blacks but from ones born in the USA--well, that is where the hatred shows up.

Here, and I am not sure if it is all over the US or only in Houston, but there appears to be a lot of prejudice from US-born-blacks against anyone that is black from outside the US. I've witnessed it repeatedly and asked a few coworkers about it and they confirmed that yes, they do experience racism, but not from whites or Latinos. I just don't get it.

Something else that drives me nuts is the popular term "African-American". If the person has never lived in Africa, that person is not African. Ever. And it really sucks when an a Dominican is here and has to select his race--he is neither African or American and certainly not both. Ditto for black Cubans, Hondurans, Brazilians, Peruvians, Haitians, etc. If that is the rule, then I need to be Irish-American since my great-great-great grandparents were from Ireland. Or maybe I need to be more precise and use: Irish-Dutch-English-Cherokee-American. But, I prefer--my color is white and my nationality is American. No hyphens to divide and separate us--only the basic description. (My son is racially ambiguous. Only once ever has a white person asked me about it but more time than I can count has every other color asked me or him. His favorite response is, "What color do you think? You're right! How'd you guess?")

A funny thing, though, when I was in Perú in March, I got moved to the FRONT of the bus because I am white. Yes, it's true. I had picked the seat with the most legroom because I am tall and the driver refused to move until I went up to the seats reserved for grannies and people on crutches. I argued, but my other half hissed at me, "It's NOT your culture. MOVE." He sat beside me in the front. Sigh. I was so self conscious. I felt like I was on stage and was expected to put on a show so I sat up very straight and reapplied my lipstick. jajajaja. Everyone stared at me like crazy. It was the most uncomfortable experience I had there. I told him that the next time we are on one of those buses, I will pay the fare for the next 20 people who get on. This way, they will have a positive experience with a white person. Maybe they will think I am showing off or that I am rich, but anyway, they will also see that maybe I am not the enemy. (BTW--We do things like that in the South, sometimes. Pay the toll-fare of one or two cars behind you, or pay the parking meter for yours and another car or two, or the bus, or whatever.)

Edited September 20, 2011 by EminTX