Oh my gosh! Somebody please help me!

[NY_BX 397]

Ok...first, thanks for all the replies. When he had the drug test, he was given the sealed envelope. And he also told me that if it was positive, they wouldnt give him the envelope. He said he smoked weed about 4 years ago. Anyway, I already talked with him and of course he denies everything. We are both very upset. I don't know what to do or waht to believe or what to think really! I did write the embassy back to ask them what drug they found in his test and if each time it was negative. Hopefully they can give me some kind of answer. I told Fady he had to prove that he was innocent by convincing the embassy that he was innocent. If the embassy says he did drugs, of course I will believe them over a guy I've only known for 2 years online and total of 2 months in person. I've been lied to before by guys...I know its a shock and I know how to survive and get over it. But honestly, its so hard to imagine! I wish you all could know him like I know him. He just isnt that way. I also told Fady maybe he should get a lawyer to help him figure this out. But, its all up to him now. He has some work to do to prove his innocence. But holy ####### another year?! and what if I end up wasting 3 years on a druggie! I can't believe this. Anyway, for those of you that believe in God, please pray that if this man isnt right for me, to let me know and have proof that it was positive drug tests. I need evidence either way to beleive something. And if this man is right for me, then please pray for God to bring us back together again. Anyone else that wants to be straight up rude and uncaring, please keep your comments to yourself. you can say Im stupid and whatever but if you were in the situation, its a heck of a lot harder to just let someone go! ANYWAY, Im gonna shut up now. Thanks again everyone...

This does NOT require a prayer, I'm sorry. This requires for you to open your eyes. He's still lying to you. This is NOT a trial; he does NOT need to prove he's innocent. The only thing he can do, is go and get the random test. If it's positive, there's your answer. If it's negative, then request an in depth investigation. If you want to ask a lawyer or an expert on these tests, go ahead. That would be my best advice. And the other best advise, would be a little controversial: I do not know you and I don't know how far you went in your relationship with him, but, if I was you, I'd get tested for everything. I'd never trust a drug abuser (be it recreational/ illegal drugs or prescription drugs). You never know what kind of diseases he might of transmitted. Not every disease may be sexually transmitted. A lot of marihuana smokers end up getting mononucleosis due to sharing a joint. If cigarette smoke kills non-smokers, go figure what hard core stuff can do. Also, should you plan to procreate, think about your children's health. I'm just sheding a limelight to other realities VJers haven't pointed out. Lastly, and going out of the limb here, let's say within a year he's clean and you succesfully bring him over, what makes you think he won't relapse here?

In conclusion: proceed carefully. This must be a horrendous heartbreak, I understand. Look at this with fresh eyes, because the truth is this: he DID drugs and tested positive. Period. No matter what he says, that's the truth. Think of your future; that should be your prayer.

[EAbbas 213]

I'm also very sorry your going thru this but I have to tell you as well if you have never been with a friend or family member before he has done drugs then you must know what your getting into...

It is a difficult battle on a daily basis for these ppl.. my ex brother in law was addicted to drugs as well as being an alcoholic... he suffers all the time... and eventually he ends up using again..then goes thru Detox gets help goes thru couseling gets sober from all of it and the cycle begins again...

While I don't think you should just dump him... I do think you need to realize what kind of life you may have with him and carefully weigh the decision. Drug users do lie...about everything...

Be cautious, be careful, be strong, be faithful to YOURSELF because in the end YOU ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT IN THIS WHOLE THING!!!!! If your relationship can work itself out over the next year that's great but you need to focus on yourself first now....and he needs to focus on getting off drugs, getting help, going to treament etc...

I wish you only the best but like I said... You are the most important right now and you need to protect yourself so don't make knee jerk reactions stay focused and be true to yourself

best of luck..

[Ready to do it 101]

Really? Then why are you marrying him?

I can tell you that if I was told that my fiance tested positive for drugs and she told me that she does not do drugs, I would believe her. That being said, he did admit that he did drugs 4 years ago, so...

Myy advice, you need to find out why there was a second test. My assumption was he tested positive in the first test and they gave him a second chance. To save face, he lied to you thinking that he'll be clean for the second test and all will be fine. Who knows, maybe he was negative in the second test, but they still refused the visa because he was positive in the first test. Maybe he told them he did drugs 4 years ago.

Regardless, if what I have stated above is true, the only lie in his eyes is he told you he passed the first test and he did not (I assume he would have been told he did not pass, but maybe they didn't tell him until they informed him that he would need to do a second test).

As others have mentioned, maybe he had a poppyseed bagel. The point is, you loved him enough to marry him you should support him during a difficult time. You need to find out what happened... and I would not accuse him of anything. I would phrase it more like... "Honey, what are we going to do? How can they possibly say you tested positive and twice if you have not done drugs?" Make sure he knows how much this is tearing you apart and saddened you. Bring up ideas of having a private clinic test him to send those results to the CO. Even though I am pretty sure they would not accept this, he does not know that. The two issues at hand are... Would he really follow through with this private clinic testing if he knows he will test positive again (I.e. he might spill his beans) or maybe he does test negative which means he will have had to have gone at least the minimum number of days to get it out of his system without using whatever it is he is using. Which means that perhaps there is hope. I.e. You deserve to know whether your future man is a druggie or simply a recreational user every few months or so. Regardless, while I would never condone drug use no one should be so foolish to have taken any sort of drug when going through this process.

I think if you stick by his side as opposed to accusing him or dumping him etc, you just might get the answers you need. Plus, it's not like you aren't already fully invested. I.e. You have spent a lot of time and money on this process. What's another $100 or so for a private drug test to find out the real answers that you need to make some lifechanging decisions. Good luck.

If the embassy says he did drugs, of course I will believe them over a guy I've only known for 2 years online and total of 2 months in person.

[Gosia & Tito 199]

Yes thank you...but if he has been lying for a whole 2 years, whats the point of a serious chat? he will just tell me more lies! I don't know what to believe. Do I believe the embassy or Fady? Would the embassy only do this if the drug results were positive? He told me that both times they were negative. He told me that the hospital only gives patients the test results if they are negative and if its positive, the hospital itself will send the results to the embassy. So he said he was negative the two times. What should I believe? Is it possible that the embassy did this because he looked so tired the mornign of his interview and they assumed he was on drugs? Is it possible for this to be a mistake and that he really isnt a drug user? Thanks for the replies!

Don't panic just yet about the drug use, depending on what test was used and what specifically was tested (the most common is hair; but 'depending' is even depending on what kind of hair was used for test), some tests can come positive even after several months of no use, I've seen (in a line of work I do) sometimes showing to about 1+ year. On the other side, tests are fallible. If 2 tests were done, it is possible that the first came positive and thus the re-test. Tiredness looking has nothing to do with requesting a drug test, there are other indicators that are used by trained people to request a test.

My advice would be to ask your fiancee to provide you with test results or provide the testing site a release (to you). I concur with other posts noting that it sounds like a drugs matter. Without knowing the specific type of test and what specifically was tested is not possible to tell much; but that is why I noted that you see results yourself, because then you can decide whether to challenge the results (after consulting with an expert in drug testing).

Now, you also need to know whether he was taking some medicine that could've shown as 'drugs'; is not uncommon, and how that is resolved is by producing the med and the test facility very easily can then explain the results. There is definitely something going on here and you are 100% entitled to know what that is (from your fiancee first); even herbal products might appear as positive, though in smaller traces, but that could be confused with drug use several months ago when there might be nothing really.

As I said, there could be a 100% satisfactory explanation of a positive test, but also, it could just be plain use of drugs. Drug users don't usually admit it, specially if their use is low and/or not frequent, even when confronted with results; that is why re-tests are done, to eliminate errors.

You need to have an open and franc talk with your fiancee before proceeding.

Hope everything resolves well and fast.

[Gosia & Tito 199]

he will have had to have gone at least the minimum number of days to get it out of his system without using whatever it is he is using. Which means that perhaps there is hope.

Tests can show use from many months before. I've seen cases of 1+ year (though this seems to be very rare, most times 6-9 months is about the longest you would see). While the effects wear out in hours/days, the body does not flush the drugs in days, it can take several months! And as I said in another posting, the same test applied to hair form different parts of the body can produce different results. Though I would think the testing facility knows this and they use the standard testing procedure as use state-side (instructed by the embassy). That is why there is a 1 year period, because it could be assumed that he just used and in 1 year, assuming no use, there would be a negative result. Random tests are just standard procedure that would be used to demonstrate frequent use or that what was thought as usage in this situation was a 'one time' thing

[KittyPollitt 284]

Tests can show use from many months before. I've seen cases of 1+ year (though this seems to be very rare, most times 6-9 months is about the longest you would see). While the effects wear out in hours/days, the body does not flush the drugs in days, it can take several months! And as I said in another posting, the same test applied to hair form different parts of the body can produce different results. Though I would think the testing facility knows this and they use the standard testing procedure as use state-side (instructed by the embassy). That is why there is a 1 year period, because it could be assumed that he just used and in 1 year, assuming no use, there would be a negative result. Random tests are just standard procedure that would be used to demonstrate frequent use or that what was thought as usage in this situation was a 'one time' thing

In a standard urine test (which is what is used in these cases), cocaine, heroin, speed, and over the counter opiates will last one week or less in the system. Marijuana and hashish (I'm guessing he's hitting the hookah) last a month or longer depending on frequency of use. He must not have used within one year to be admissible. That's why they're going to be doing random tests for the following year. If he couldn't clean up his act for his interview (which is like, DUH)- I don't see him lasting a year. Lucky he didn't get a misrepresentation flag.

[Alianza Terps 12]

Isn't admitting to past drug use in itself a reason for denial of the visa, especially within 10 years of the last time? Do they even need a test to deny the visa if he admitted to using in the past?

I'm really sorry that things came out this way for you. Good luck with whatever you choose to do

[edilene1 0]

The other poster is corect, he some sort of drug related issue, he may have been in rehab, you need to see how old his drug issue is, and consult an Attorney.

See this link for a summary of the section.

Good Luck with this.

Mike

http://www.mosquedalaw.com/IMM006.htm

[J&N* 68]

The doctors in Egypt don't even tell you if you tested positive or negative cause they assume you know yourself better than they do! The embassy has no interest in lying to you, plus they have supervisors and colleagues, they won't just change his result. Looking tired or not, ALL people waiting at the embassy look very tired, I had to wake up at 2 am to drive from Alexandria to Cairo cause my interview was at 7 am, had no breakfast and I looked awful, they didn't assume I was on drugs.

I'm so so sorry, I'd be devastated and feel cheated on, but it's obvious that he is lying to you, I've never heard of a story like that honestly, trust your American embassy employees, they did good by putting him in AP.

[james&olya 1,121]

He said he smoked weed about 4 years ago.

Everyone back off! Where do we all conclude he was ever found positive? If he is a decent guy and ADMITTED to once using marijuana, they may be basing this year of testing solely on that honest disclosure! To the OP, explore this possibility. You may have been right to believe him before. Don't jump to conclusions without considering all the possibilities!

[kzielu 1,149]

Everyone back off! Where do we all conclude he was ever found positive? If he is a decent guy and ADMITTED to once using marijuana, they may be basing this year of testing solely on that honest disclosure!

Why do you think he disclosed that to the embassy ? So far it looks he disclosed it to his wife when asked..

[J&N* 68]

Everyone back off! Where do we all conclude he was ever found positive? If he is a decent guy and ADMITTED to once using marijuana, they may be basing this year of testing solely on that honest disclosure! To the OP, explore this possibility. You may have been right to believe him before. Don't jump to conclusions without considering all the possibilities!

He CLEARLY admitted it to her AFTER she confronted him with what she found out, hence why she is shocked now cause she never suspected it before, he has never disclosed any of this before now.

[Kristi & Fady 0]

No no no...Fady told me he had smoked weed a long time ago. It was one of the first topics we discussed. Its something I don't accept so I knew up front. Anyway maybe the embassy really is basing this off of him doing it 4 years ago. They had asked him in the interview and I even told him to tell the truth no matter3 what they asked. So the embassy did know this info during his interview. He didn't lie to them. Plus we talk almost every day on webcam and he never looks stoned or to be on a drug. And my ex bf was an alcoholic and he did all kinds of drugs! I know what people look like on drugs. That's why its so hard to believe what is happening. I do trust my american employees and I wrote them back asking for them to tell me if both tests were positive and if so then what drug. So we'll see what they say. But right now I think we need a lawyer. Anyone know of a good one in cairo or tanta? Thanks!

Isn't admitting to past drug use in itself a reason for denial of the visa, especially within 10 years of the last time? Do they even need a test to deny the visa if he admitted to using in the past?

I'm really sorry that things came out this way for you. Good luck with whatever you choose to do

That's what I'm starting to think happened....

[FormerlyKnownAs 17]

I believe if he admitted to past drug use at the interview, they would deny him based on this admission. I know many people here believe that the embassy only requested a second test be done because the first was positive, but perhaps they requested a second test due to his admitting he used drugs in the past. I don't think any of us can be precisely certain. If this relationship is important to you, and I know that it is, I would make arrangements to go to Egypt and be there with him to have an independent drug test and receive the results together in person. Unless, of course, you can get the embassy to tell you for certain if his test results were negative and they made the denial based on his own testimony that he'd used in the past... Good luck, I know this is a very difficult road. I hope everything works out for the best.

[Golden Gate 530]

No no no...Fady told me he had smoked weed a long time ago. It was one of the first topics we discussed. Its something I don't accept so I knew up front. Anyway maybe the embassy really is basing this off of him doing it 4 years ago. They had asked him in the interview and I even told him to tell the truth no matter3 what they asked. So the embassy did know this info during his interview. He didn't lie to them. Plus we talk almost every day on webcam and he never looks stoned or to be on a drug. And my ex bf was an alcoholic and he did all kinds of drugs! I know what people look like on drugs. That's why its so hard to believe what is happening. I do trust my american employees and I wrote them back asking for them to tell me if both tests were positive and if so then what drug. So we'll see what they say. But right now I think we need a lawyer. Anyone know of a good one in cairo or tanta? Thanks!

That's what I'm starting to think happened....

I agree that you should go there and try to get as much info as possible about what has really gone on. However, you can't always know how people are on drugs, especially if they do it on a regular basis and since you first met them. My ex used to smoke weed and I had no idea, until someone suggested it to me. I just thought he was a mellow person. So, you can't always tell. Once I tried to get him off it, he became a bear. Totally changed personality.