I am pregnant by my husband. He wants me to have another abortion...

[JoelAndAnalyn 0]

i would tape record him secretly if i were you, digital voice recorder are $100 dollars and can record for 17 hours on 1 battery.

Except for that is illegal...

Edited September 26, 2006 by JoelAndAnalyn

[Taye500 0]

i would tape record him secretly if i were you, digital voice recorder are $100 dollars and can record for 17 hours on 1 battery.

Except for that is illegal...

It depends on the state you are in. Most states allows one person consent tape recordings. This means one person can secretly tape record a conversation in which he/she is a participant.

[Sweetgirl 0]

... but I just cannot do it. It's was very hard for me emotinally when I 1st aggreed to have an abortion, to save our marriage. It was not I wanted to do but I was forced by him. He was telling me that If I decide to have the child he is "not willing to put up with this" and I would be left on my own. He would get divorced with me. I was being blackmailed, if I dont agree to have an abortion it's going to be over between us.

So I just did beacuse I wanted to be with him.

Now it happened again. I am pregnant by him, and he said he is going to file for separation and send me back to Poland IF I decide to keep it. He does not want the child to be born in the U.S. as he would be forced to be legally obligated for him/her. If I decide to abort the baby "we can start everything over again". Which gives the proof of mentally abused by him.

During past two weeks I have ended up 4 times in the hospital because of the stress after each argument and some pregnancy complications. Some person I have talked to in the hospital told me that it's a family abuse to blackmail a person to do something against her will.

I came to the U.S. being a K-1 visa holder September last year, we got married and I've recieved my conditional green card around April this year.

My question is that, is my husband able to kick me out of the country if he files for separation/divorce or apply for removal of my conditional gren card?

I am a student over here, I have just started school, and a part time job. I do still need the finacial support until I can stand on my own. Would I be able to count on that?

I have talked to one of my friend, and he said it is a pure abuse towards me. He suggested contacting a lawyer to see what can be done about it. He said that my husband is not able to send me back to Poland, yet I can sue him for the "family abusing".

I want my child to be born in the U.S. and he/she has more opportunities in this country. If my husband sends me back to Poland I have no guarantee that he would pay me for the child given he/she was born in there.

Do I have any rights here? Can he just do that to me?

Please help me!

Pauli.

HI! You are not gonna be deported and you can file for The Removal of Conditions on your own.

You defenetely have rights here.Your husband is trying to manipulate you. I hope you keep the records of your emotionall stress form the hospital you went., so you can file those papers when u gonna file for the Removal of the Conditions on your own. Also,even in case of the divorce your husband is gonna be financially responsible for you until you become a Citizen,.You can sue him in court and in addition to that you can ask the court for the Spouse Support and the Child support as well. Plus as someone else was discussing some abusive husbands divorce things here on this forum in previous topics that you can also sue him under the I-864 (Affidavit of Support)in court .

He cant leave you on the street with the baby and u gonna be protected and probably gonna own the half of his property and income.

I can see your case as a strickt emotional and physical abuse(as he insisted on the abortion first time and trying to do it again to you.) Dont even think about doing the abortion again,its bad for your health . You are very protected in this country from the abusers liek your husband.You should go to the lawyer or to the Shelter according to your location where the women like you have been abused.

I am sure there are some phone numbers you can ask the lawyers you call.They can give you the free consultation and help phone numbers just call them.

My Best Wishes

[diadromous mermaid 36]

You can sue him in court and in addition to that you can ask the court for the Spouse Support and the Child support as well. Plus as someone else was discussing some abusive husbands divorce things here on this forum in previous topics that you can also sue him under the I-864 (Affidavit of Support)in court .

He cant leave you on the street with the baby and u gonna be protected and probably gonna own the half of his property and income.

Just wished to clarify that the thread discussing an alien filing suit against her sponsor under the terms of the Affidavit of Support (Stump v. Stump, PA) was in lieu of seeking alimony in a divorce action, and to make up the difference between her earnings and the poverty guideline figure, to which the sponsor was obliged. It wasn't in addition to alimony or spousal support, if I recall correctly. What was noteworthy, according to my vague recollection of the details of that Ffederal case, was that in the judgment, the Court found no requirement for the alien to seek work or mitigate any damages by attempting to be gainfully employed (although in that case she was working but not earning very much). The value of that being cited in the COurt's decision was that had the alien no job, or had the alien not even tried to get a job, the US citizen petitioner could have been liable for damages totalling the poverty guideline figure.

[dmartmar 1]

I also have another question, as far as health insurance goes. My husband has great insurance from his work, so I have the same one of course. What happens to the insurance once my husband and I end up separating for a few months until we file for divorce? Does it mean I wouldn't be covered by it?

Shouldn't the question be: Does it mean the baby wouldn't be covered by it?

You definitely have rights here. Your husband is trying to manipulate you.

And she is trying to manipulate him as well through the baby.

[travlnmannn 0]

Hello Paulina,

I'm reading all these things that your husband has done to you and I can't help but think he is a true dirt bag. Please dont be afraid to seek out the help of others and lawyers. Dont have any sympathy for him when the lawyer wants to get child support and alimony. You have many rights now. Use them for you and your baby. You did the first abortion for him. Do whats right for this baby. I truly wish you good luck.

[Anastassia 0]

Dmartmar,

I have always thought that your post were ridiculous but have you lost your mind completely ?

maybe it's time for you to read your own posts before you post them becasue you are getting out of control.

Yes, she will be covered by his insurance until the divorce.

Once I felt sorry for you dartmar but now I think that you deserve what was done to you.

Ana

[yogib37 3]

I also have another question as far as the health insurance goes. My husband has a great insurance from his work so of course I have the same one. What happens to the insurance once my husband and I end up in separation for a few months until we can file up for a divorce? Does that mean I wouldn't be covered by it?

well I think the judge can order him to have health insurance for the baby. after the baby is born. He will be order to pay child support also. IF he does not and misses so much, he can be toss into jail. He can have his wages garish etc.. so he made this mess for himself. Dont blame yourself. Dont let him blackmail you into other abortion.

he is a boy. he is not a grown man. He needs to step up to the plate and be a man. Take care of this baby.. How old is he?

[homesick_american 1]

I'm disgusted by the OP's husband's behavior, but at the same time she has revealed to us that she is:

* 20 years old

* Unemployed

* Alone in a strange country

She said she might be able to earn $15,000 a year. Good luck caring for a baby on that.

A second abortion might be something she would like to consider. If I knew someone about to put herself in this situation, I would tell them to at least consider it.

[Caladan 19]

She obviously doesn't want an abortion. It won't be easy to survive on $15K a year with a baby, but plenty of people manage just fine.

Pauli, I'm not a lawyer, but from what I've read on this site, there's nothing he can do to deport you. He also cannot, cannot, CANNOT, force you to get an abortion. An immigration lawyer will help with the immigration status, and a family lawyer will help you get protection against this #######.

http://www.catholiccharitiesinfo.org/states/

Catholic Charities are low-cost, and they don't care if you're Catholic, and immigration in general has been one of their issues. If you're strapped for cash, look there.

[homesick_american 1]

She obviously doesn't want an abortion. It won't be easy to survive on $15K a year with a baby, but plenty of people manage just fine.

I know. It's just something to think about.

Pauli, I'm not a lawyer, but from what I've read on this site, there's nothing he can do to deport you. He also cannot, cannot, CANNOT, force you to get an abortion. An immigration lawyer will help with the immigration status, and a family lawyer will help you get protection against this #######.

http://www.catholiccharitiesinfo.org/states/

Catholic Charities are low-cost, and they don't care if you're Catholic, and immigration in general has been one of their issues. If you're strapped for cash, look there.

Excellent recommendation. Tho since the OP is Polish, there's a better than decent chance that she's Catholic. All my Polish relatives are. B)

Edited October 5, 2006 by homesick_american

[Irisheyes 0]

Ever heard of Birth Control? You aborted the first baby and this one will have to suffer the consequences of your irresponsibility. I for sure would have learnt my lesson after the first time. I hope for your baby's sake you do get the help you need, but at least try to learn something about thinking first. The husband's not the only one responsible for this sad situation.

[payxibka 10,045]

Ever heard of Birth Control? You aborted the first baby and this one will have to suffer the consequences of your irresponsibility. I for sure would have learnt my lesson after the first time. I hope for your baby's sake you do get the help you need, but at least try to learn something about thinking first. The husband's not the only one responsible for this sad situation.

I understand the issue of bc but I hope you are not implying here that bc is only a woman's responibility?

[PlatyPius 5]

Dmartmar,

I have always thought that your post were ridiculous but have you lost your mind completely ?

maybe it's time for you to read your own posts before you post them becasue you are getting out of control.

Yes, she will be covered by his insurance until the divorce.

Once I felt sorry for you dartmar but now I think that you deserve what was done to you.

Ana

Actually, I thought his post was well within the realm of sanity. Fathers are supposed to pay for the needs of their CHILDREN, not their ex-wives. As such, the only question she should have is whether the baby will have insurance or not. Whether she has insurance or not is completely up to her. How fair would it be if we were all forced to pay for our ex's "upkeep"?

[Caladan 19]

Quite a lot of states have alimony rules for non-no-fault divorces, so in some states, ex-wives are entitled to some support.