I am pregnant by my husband. He wants me to have another abortion...

[-pH- 0]

... but I just cannot do it. It's was very hard for me emotinally when I 1st aggreed to have an abortion, to save our marriage. It was not I wanted to do but I was forced by him. He was telling me that If I decide to have the child he is "not willing to put up with this" and I would be left on my own. He would get divorced with me. I was being blackmailed, if I dont agree to have an abortion it's going to be over between us.

So I just did beacuse I wanted to be with him.

Now it happened again. I am pregnant by him, and he said he is going to file for separation and send me back to Poland IF I decide to keep it. He does not want the child to be born in the U.S. as he would be forced to be legally obligated for him/her. If I decide to abort the baby "we can start everything over again". Which gives the proof of mentally abused by him.

During past two weeks I have ended up 4 times in the hospital because of the stress after each argument and some pregnancy complications. Some person I have talked to in the hospital told me that it's a family abuse to blackmail a person to do something against her will.

I came to the U.S. being a K-1 visa holder September last year, we got married and I've recieved my conditional green card around April this year.

My question is that, is my husband able to kick me out of the country if he files for separation/divorce or apply for removal of my conditional gren card?

I am a student over here, I have just started school, and a part time job. I do still need the finacial support until I can stand on my own. Would I be able to count on that?

I have talked to one of my friend, and he said it is a pure abuse towards me. He suggested contacting a lawyer to see what can be done about it. He said that my husband is not able to send me back to Poland, yet I can sue him for the "family abusing".

I want my child to be born in the U.S. and he/she has more opportunities in this country. If my husband sends me back to Poland I have no guarantee that he would pay me for the child given he/she was born in there.

Do I have any rights here? Can he just do that to me?

Please help me!

Pauli.

[frndly1 1]

Run not walk to a lawyer's office.

He can not kick you out of the country and you can file for removal of conditions on your own. He will be respondible for the child.

I wish you the best.

... but I just cannot do it. It's was very hard for me emotinally when I 1st aggreed to have an abortion, to save our marriage. It was not I wanted to do but I was forced by him. He was telling me that If I decide to have the child he is "not willing to put up with this" and I would be left on my own. He would get divorced with me. I was being blackmailed, if I dont agree to have an abortion it's going to be over between us.

So I just did beacuse I wanted to be with him.

Now it happened again. I am pregnant by him, and he said he is going to file for separation and send me back to Poland IF I decide to keep it. He does not want the child to be born in the U.S. as he would be forced to be legally obligated for him/her. If I decide to abort the baby "we can start everything over again". Which gives the proof of mentally abused by him.

During past two weeks I have ended up 4 times in the hospital because of the stress after each argument and some pregnancy complications. Some person I have talked to in the hospital told me that it's a family abuse to blackmail a person to do something against her will.

I came to the U.S. being a K-1 visa holder September last year, we got married and I've recieved my conditional green card around April this year.

My question is that, is my husband able to kick me out of the country if he files for separation/divorce or apply for removal of my conditional gren card?

I am a student over here, I have just started school, and a part time job. I do still need the finacial support until I can stand on my own. Would I be able to count on that?

I have talked to one of my friend, and he said it is a pure abuse towards me. He suggested contacting a lawyer to see what can be done about it. He said that my husband is not able to send me back to Poland, yet I can sue him for the "family abusing".

I want my child to be born in the U.S. and he/she has more opportunities in this country. If my husband sends me back to Poland I have no guarantee that he would pay me for the child given he/she was born in there.

Do I have any rights here? Can he just do that to me?

Please help me!

Pauli.

[indiana_jones 0]

u can get the conditions removed without making the 2 year mark!! and stay in the country..........

all they care about is that u didnt come to america under false pretenses (faked the marriage...)

as long as u have proof that u tried to make it work, then its cool..

i would tape record him secretly if i were you, digital voice recorder are $100 dollars and can record for 17 hours on 1 battery.

then u would have irrefutable evidence....

depending on the state your in, you can record phone calls also with just u knowing if its a 1 party state!!!

u can check on the web.

empower yourself..... a lawyer will help bigtime, but u can collect irrefutable evidence also... just make sure its within the law!!!

and im sorry that u went through this and i applaud your decision.

good luck and keep us posted!!!

[keith88gt 0]

wow im so sorry to hear this,

Please forgive me but your husband is a selfish Ahole..you deserve much better..also if he's so concerned about not having a baby there is a thing called birth control..I wish you the best and all the happiness in the world.

Take care and we all Love You here at VJ,

Keith& Irish Forever

[Chris-n-Veronica 0]

Where did you find this guy at ???? Do as the first poster said....Run to the nearest Lawyer..

wow im so sorry to hear this,

Please forgive me but your husband is a selfish Ahole..you deserve much better..also if he's so concerned about not having a baby there is a thing called birth control..I wish you the best and all the happiness in the world.

Take care and we all Love You here at VJ,

Keith& Irish Forever

[hcj 0]

You have a conditional green card. Your husband cannot have you "deported back to Poland" if you divorce. He may have been able to when you did not have any green card, but now that you have a conditional green card, he cannot. When your divorce is final, you may apply to remove the conditions on the GC by yourself. You will have to file a waiver for the joint filing requirement, because normally this is a petition that has to be filed jointly by both spouses. You will need to provide evidence that your marriage was bonafide. Same sorts of things you provided at your AOS interview, plus the child's birth certificate when he/she is born would be a nice addition. You do not necessarily need to prove abuse or invoke VAWA, except insofar as to show that the breakdown of the marriage was his fault and not yours. Here is USCIS information on removal of conditions, including what to do if you divorce:

http://www.uscis.gov/graphics/howdoi/remcond.htm#waiver

As for your support, etc. -- what you need is a family law attorney. Depending on the laws of your state, you may be entitled to half of any community property in a divorce. A judge may also award you alimony payments for a short time (a year or two), to help you get back on your feet. When the child is born you will also be entitled to child support. In the meantime if you are pregnant you can apply for assistance from programs like WIC (Women, Infants, Children) and they will help you with food costs if you are below a certain income. It will be hard but you have to do it if you want to keep your baby and he is being a jerk about it. Get a job if you don't already have one and most importantly, get a mean divorce lawyer.

P.S. You don't need to justify why you want to stay in the US. Your wants and desires will not figure in whether you get to stay or not anyway -- only proof of the bonafides of your marriage will count.

[gimygirl 0]

[-pH- 0]

Gosh I dont know how to thank you!!! I guess there's hope for me.

I tried contacing a family lawyer and I told her about my case, but she said she can help me fight for the child support. I dont know if family abusing is something they do, I meant divorce because of that.

This case include a little bit of family matter as well as immigration. I am a bit confused about looking for a lawyer that I should contact.

I am 20 years old, I have just got a job in a retail store and I still go to school part time (I live in NJ, btw. ). All I could be making working full time is about $ 15 000 a year. It would be hard but I think I could handle it.

I am very greatful that there are many good people everywhere that are willing to help me out!

Thanks!

Paulina

[-pH- 0]

I also have another question as far as the health insurance goes. My husband has a great insurance from his work so of course I have the same one. What happens to the insurance once my husband and I end up in separation for a few months until we can file up for a divorce? Does that mean I wouldn't be covered by it?

[Michaela_Hassan 1]

I also have another question as far as the health insurance goes. My husband has a great insurance from his work so of course I have the same one. What happens to the insurance once my husband and I end up in separation for a few months until we can file up for a divorce? Does that mean I wouldn't be covered by it?

Paulina he cant cancel your insurance during the divorce proceedings, at least not in my state (oregon). I would ask a lawyer to be sure.

Michaela

[hcj 0]

Hi again Paulina,

Just to be clear -- you most likely cannot have one attorney advise you on both issues (divorce and immigration) because I doubt any attorney is experienced in both. You need a family law attorney so you can get spousal and child support, and you need, separately, an immigration attorney if you choose to have an attorney help you with the removal of conditions. Divorce (or family law) attorneys may be willing to accept payment at a later date, based on what they win for you in the divorce. I don't know if there is anything to "win" but just wanted to mention it as an option. Contact some women's shelters as well, they can probably refer you to free or low cost legal aid who can help you with the divorce, getting alimony, child support, part of the marital assets, etc. Try Catholic Charities also, if there is one in your area. Many Catholic Charities have low-cost immigration legal help that is staffed by volunteer attorneys.

You will have to ask a family law attorney about the laws in your state, but in many states you do not need a reason for divorce ("no fault" divorce). Even if you do need a reason, I'm reasonably certain that you can divorce without demonstrating any abuse (a popular reason is "irreconcilable differences"). Ask the immigration lawyer whether it would be to your advantage to get the abuse mentioned in the divorce -- I'm not sure there is even such a thing but it doesn't hurt to ask.

Good luck my dear! You sound like you are strong and have a good head on your shoulders. Do what you need to do for you and your baby.

Holly

P.S. Everything is negotiable in a divorce -- you can make the health insurance part of the terms of the divorce, that you get to stay on his insurance for a certain length of time. Even if you agree to arbitration and do not go to divorce court, make sure you get legal representation. If you don't, it will be much easier for him to bully and cheat you into accepting less than you are entitled to. Again, contact some women's shelters and similar organizations and ask them for referrals for a family law attorney.

[alix 20]

Is there a better proof of bonafide marriage than a pregnancy?

Well...ph...as other people said, you deserve better. Try and get informed. I'm sure you will make it without him!

Good luck!

[PlatyPius 5]

As far as I'm aware, he can drop you from the insurance any time he wants, in most states. After the divorce, if it's job-supplied insurance, you will definitely be off of the policy. Businesses only subsidize insurance for spouses and children, not ex-spouses.

As for him; he sounds like a total chopf##k, and needs a bit of an attitude adjustment.

[gugu24 0]

ok here is my 2 cents, first of all your hsband is a complete butthead, You can hire a lawyer to handle both issues, get a consultation for an immigration lawyer, they are expensive but in your case you can sue him to pay your legal fees. Also about the insurance even if he drops you(not sure if he can) once the baby is born he can be made legally to have that baby put on his insurance whether he likes it or not. He also has to pay child support for the baby, If he decided to try and say it wasnt his he would be an idiot because the courts would request a paternity test to prove he is the father and he will have to pay for that also. I didn't check before writing this where you are from but I know there is a new law passed for foreigners who have come here and are abused. If I come across that info I'll pass it on over to you. Contact the lawyer for sure. Dont worry about the cost. ask the lawyer about making him pay for your fees. Also nab his as for emotional distress. What he has done to you is shameful. When I went through my 1st divorce I found out from my attorney that my husband at that time would owe me half of what the house was worth and spilt its contents with me. Also any educational degrees he obtained while we were married I was entitled a certain dollar amount for each plus alimony,child support and such. Total was around $34,000 not including what he would owe in alimony and support. Dont fall for the same mistake i did. My ex cried and pleaded he was sorry and couldnt afford to pay all that. He asked to file the papers himself without a lawyer. Wel I got screwed, He took everything, I left with nothing. (fine by me I was happy to be out in any case) Mr."Im so poor"then went on to build his own home and buy more cars. He did get socked a good ol hefty child support thugh monthly. I'm not whining about my own situation just wanted you to beware of what he could pull. He also threatened to contest the divorce If i went through the lawyer ,saying I would have to pay for all the prolonging. It wasnt true infact he would have had to pay. I was uneducated to it all, but now know all about it and just passing on to you what i learned. (p.s. he was emotionaly abusive too) tell all to the lawyer, leave out no information! Get his #######!

[Taye500 0]

... but I just cannot do it. It's was very hard for me emotinally when I 1st aggreed to have an abortion, to save our marriage. It was not I wanted to do but I was forced by him. He was telling me that If I decide to have the child he is "not willing to put up with this" and I would be left on my own. He would get divorced with me. I was being blackmailed, if I dont agree to have an abortion it's going to be over between us.

So I just did beacuse I wanted to be with him.

Now it happened again. I am pregnant by him, and he said he is going to file for separation and send me back to Poland IF I decide to keep it. He does not want the child to be born in the U.S. as he would be forced to be legally obligated for him/her. If I decide to abort the baby "we can start everything over again". Which gives the proof of mentally abused by him.

During past two weeks I have ended up 4 times in the hospital because of the stress after each argument and some pregnancy complications. Some person I have talked to in the hospital told me that it's a family abuse to blackmail a person to do something against her will.

I came to the U.S. being a K-1 visa holder September last year, we got married and I've recieved my conditional green card around April this year.

My question is that, is my husband able to kick me out of the country if he files for separation/divorce or apply for removal of my conditional gren card?

I am a student over here, I have just started school, and a part time job. I do still need the finacial support until I can stand on my own. Would I be able to count on that?

I have talked to one of my friend, and he said it is a pure abuse towards me. He suggested contacting a lawyer to see what can be done about it. He said that my husband is not able to send me back to Poland, yet I can sue him for the "family abusing".

I want my child to be born in the U.S. and he/she has more opportunities in this country. If my husband sends me back to Poland I have no guarantee that he would pay me for the child given he/she was born in there.

Do I have any rights here? Can he just do that to me?

Please help me!

Pauli.

Is he on crack?? he must be high on something. What does he think would happen when he was doing jumping jacks on you without protection?? You can keep the pregnancy and if he files for divorce, you can file for a waiver from USCIS and slam his butt with Child support once you have the baby. He must be outside his mind!!!