Is this blackmail?

[Golden Gate 530]

can a moderator delete this post please? i was thinking if somehow the ex found this he may get more pissed... btw he did pay for the ticket with his cc before our divorce was final, i dont know why he is refusing to accept that, this was before i ever met my husband. the embassy is being stubborn saying they need this info, even though it has nothing to do with my husband....

He is refusing to accept it because it seems he has bitter feelings over your divorce and wants nothing to do with you at present, and what you are asking is only bringing up old feelings he doesn't want to experience again.

Edited July 30, 2011 by Golden Gate

[Rainbow Medallion 2]

Your ex is upset because you are basically demanding info from him. I would never contact my ex to ask for nothing. You would do best to just get your old airline information from the airlines you used. They saved a record of it. Why are they demanding proof of who paid anyway? I have never heard of this before. You have been to Pakistan on numerous occasions so I assume that is why they are placing this investigation on you. My cousin married in Pakistan twice too and she was not even asked to provide evidence of payments. I wonder why they are picking on you about this. I just wonder if your ex had anything to do with that part. It seems as though they are trying to do everything they can to prove something is not legit here. I would recommend that you try to patch things up in a cooperative manner with your ex or leave him alone altogether. Otherwise you face the grim side of him trying to mess up your case and then you may get refused a visa or something. Who knows what he is capable of doing. You know him best as he was your ex. Did you ever try to bring him to USA or you lived with him only in Pakistan?

[Nicole-N-Nattoy 24]

Maybe it's a good thing you don't get this info because that trip was purchased by ur ex husband u weren't divorced yet or just divorced. Not going to look good at embassy. O her ex husband is paying for her to go off and meet other men?? Why would ur ex husband be on this site? Weird

[talean nawaz 41]

Is this another case of someone typing and pressing enter before thinking, and not liking the responses?

No, im ok with the responses. I just thought that the ex would get pissed if by chance he saw me post his email somewhere. why would i have a problem with the responses? i have said nothing to that affect. i wanted some input, thats why i posted the question. there's no need to be so judgemental.

[talean nawaz 41]

Your ex is upset because you are basically demanding info from him. I would never contact my ex to ask for nothing. You would do best to just get your old airline information from the airlines you used. They saved a record of it. Why are they demanding proof of who paid anyway? I have never heard of this before. You have been to Pakistan on numerous occasions so I assume that is why they are placing this investigation on you. My cousin married in Pakistan twice too and she was not even asked to provide evidence of payments. I wonder why they are picking on you about this. I just wonder if your ex had anything to do with that part. It seems as though they are trying to do everything they can to prove something is not legit here. I would recommend that you try to patch things up in a cooperative manner with your ex or leave him alone altogether. Otherwise you face the grim side of him trying to mess up your case and then you may get refused a visa or something. Who knows what he is capable of doing. You know him best as he was your ex. Did you ever try to bring him to USA or you lived with him only in Pakistan?

Yeah, its weird to me too. They did not even look at any on going relationship evidence at his interview or anything, they only asked him 5 questions. i think my ex is bipolar one min he wants to be friends, the next he hates me, so i havent talked to him since the divorce was final in march 2010. The ex, he is now a usc, we were married 7 years.

[talean nawaz 41]

Maybe it's a good thing you don't get this info because that trip was purchased by ur ex husband u weren't divorced yet or just divorced. Not going to look good at embassy. O her ex husband is paying for her to go off and meet other men?? Why would ur ex husband be on this site? Weird

It's not cool to judge something as weird. It looks fine because I had not even met my husband until 2010. this ticket in question is from feb 2009, one year before i ever laid eyes on my husband. there was a spousal support agreement and instead of him paying spousal support, Thats why its so strange to me why the embassy wants this info.

I dont know why he would be on here, but I've come to find out that one can never be too cautious.

[Nicole-N-Nattoy 24]

I said weird because it's very confusing to me. Why would they want proof of a trip that you didn't even meet your husband on? Your passport stap would show proof correct?

[EAbbas 213]

In the pakistan embassy they look at everything and scrutinize every single crossed t and dotted i.... its not a big deal but it takes time and they are looking out for fraudulant cases and other issues very carefully and in depth as it should be but in a situation like this can be frustrating to say the least....

(Pakistan isn't the only embassy that does this either...there are many)

sometimes they ask for documents that may be already in their possession like me, or other documents that may take time to obtain like Talean...during that time they make sure the nikah is valid and legitimate and they look and ask around (sometimes) and like with us, they simply called my husbands boss, called me adn looked at our facebook.

Also... I think what they want to see is that she paid/ex paid/friend paid for her trip and not her current husband. That is a biggie... luckily I provided my tickets and my card statements in my documents showing I paid. But she wouldn't have that info as she didnt pay...

So.., what we need to do now is help her find a solution and how to find these tickets/statements etc that may help...

once they are satisfied with this then they can move forward... SOOO... anybody else have any ideas on how to obtain this info from 2009? I suggested she call airlines but is there anything else?

[OnMyWayID 1,489]

In the pakistan embassy they look at everything and scrutinize every single crossed t and dotted i.... its not a big deal but it takes time and they are looking out for fraudulant cases and other issues very carefully and in depth as it should be but in a situation like this can be frustrating to say the least....

(Pakistan isn't the only embassy that does this either...there are many)

sometimes they ask for documents that may be already in their possession like me, or other documents that may take time to obtain like Talean...during that time they make sure the nikah is valid and legitimate and they look and ask around (sometimes) and like with us, they simply called my husbands boss, called me adn looked at our facebook.

Also... I think what they want to see is that she paid/ex paid/friend paid for her trip and not her current husband. That is a biggie... luckily I provided my tickets and my card statements in my documents showing I paid. But she wouldn't have that info as she didnt pay...

So.., what we need to do now is help her find a solution and how to find these tickets/statements etc that may help...

once they are satisfied with this then they can move forward... SOOO... anybody else have any ideas on how to obtain this info from 2009? I suggested she call airlines but is there anything else?

From reading her consulate review it appears what they want is proof of how the trips were paid for.. One of the questions asked to the husband during the interview was "Your wife is not rich, how did she visit here so many times?". I guess that could be read either way - but if they suspect fraud on her part then they may question who is paying for her trips or if she actually made them. .

[EAbbas 213]

From reading her consulate review it appears what they want is proof of how the trips were paid for.. One of the questions asked to the husband during the interview was "Your wife is not rich, how did she visit here so many times?". I guess that could be read either way - but if they suspect fraud on her part then they may question who is paying for her trips or if she actually made them. .

for the pakistan embassy it is not an uncommon question...

[Golden Gate 530]

From reading her consulate review it appears what they want is proof of how the trips were paid for.. One of the questions asked to the husband during the interview was "Your wife is not rich, how did she visit here so many times?". I guess that could be read either way - but if they suspect fraud on her part then they may question who is paying for her trips or if she actually made them. .

Can't she just show that she had alimony during that time?

[talean nawaz 41]

Can't she just show that she had alimony during that time?

This is a great idea. I can call the lawyer that drew up our separation agreement and get a copy of it. Thanks for the tip!

From reading her consulate review it appears what they want is proof of how the trips were paid for.. One of the questions asked to the husband during the interview was "Your wife is not rich, how did she visit here so many times?". I guess that could be read either way - but if they suspect fraud on her part then they may question who is paying for her trips or if she actually made them. .

I believe they are asking about the funding, not if i actually made them. my passport stamps clearly show i made the trips and they have a copy of that. i also have pics when i was there that they have also.

[talean nawaz 41]

I said weird because it's very confusing to me. Why would they want proof of a trip that you didn't even meet your husband on? Your passport stap would show proof correct?

Yeah, it's weird to me too! I don't understand their logic behind this either. They have a copy of my passport with the stamps, they want to know how I paid for the trips.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

can a moderator delete this post please? i was thinking if somehow the ex found this he may get more pissed... btw he did pay for the ticket with his cc before our divorce was final, i dont know why he is refusing to accept that, this was before i ever met my husband. the embassy is being stubborn saying they need this info, even though it has nothing to do with my husband....

Use the report button and ask to have the thread nuked. Probably a better idea than just having the thread closed.

[OnMyWayID 1,489]

I believe they are asking about the funding, not if i actually made them. my passport stamps clearly show i made the trips and they have a copy of that. i also have pics when i was there that they have also.

ok.. so the airport documents won't help - they know you made the trips they want to know how they were funded... I see your dilemma if he paid directly for the trips using a credit card - unless the airline can show they were made with a credit card and they have the purchasers name.

If he gave you money directly and you deposited it you should be able to go back and get bank statements showing where the checks were deposited, highlight the deposits so they can see where the money originated. there does not need to be any correlation just a "see I received money here, here, and here - saved it and used for my trips"

Hmm the more I think about this.. You should only show them funds for trips when you were not married and visiting your guy, the others trips I would put something like "I was married during this trip and my ex-husband paid for these trips, he has chosen to not share the financial information with me."

Edited July 30, 2011 by OnMyWayID