Is this blackmail?

[talean nawaz 41]

Hi all,

The embassy has requested documents regarding trips I took to Pakistan in the past. I did not have this information, so I attempted to email my ex husband to get it. He did not respond. My husband called his work, only one time to see if he could get the info from him. He said to email him. My husband emailed my ex and this is the email he replied with:

Well First of all, if you call again at my work, I will call straight to National Visa center and American Embassy regarding your case since I have your case number too.

So check me, I will call them.

Give me a week to think that I want to help you or not.

I did not buy her any ticket for that time feb 2009.

When we did seperate, I did pay her $1500 cash .

Now maybe I can write that because that is true.

Other than that, I do not remember anything from my past bad memories.

So again, check me once more by calling at my work, I swear that I will call national Visa center and American Embassy in Islamabad that your case as much I know is not real.

f your wife ever sent me email, I will call to Embassy .

IS this blackmail? Can I do anything about it? I have not talked to him since our divorce was final, so he has no information and does not even know my husband. How can he threaten to say my case is not real if i only email him to get info? He knows nothing of our case!

[TBoneTX 46,262]

It doesn't come within a country mile of being blackmail. Read what he's saying: don't call him again at his work. He said that TWICE. Maybe he can't be interrupted like that, or his boss will barbecue him for taking personal calls.

He has no obligation to help, and he appears to have stated what he remembers and can legitimately claim is true.

It's not unreasonable that he would be off-pissed at being contacted in this way or for this reason. He has "bad memories" and wants to forget them. Risk contacting him again at your peril. Quit poking wounded animals with a stick.

Edited July 30, 2011 by TBoneTX

[Terca 6]

Blackmail is when someone uses a piece of information to extort something from you. It sounds like he is outraged that your now husband contacted him.

What can you do except to try and mend or have a more civilized relationship with your ex, perhaps then he may be more cooperative.

[EAbbas 213]

Being more co-operative may or may not happen as we don't know the reasons why they divorced in the first place which is a moot point...they divorced a long time before she remarried.

This may not be blackmail but I sure would keep the email communication if anything happened and you could show that he was already thinking to contact someone from NVC to create issues or stop the process... i've seen posts about ex spouses sabotaging the visa process bfore and I don't want to see Talean as another victim of this.

All she needs is something saying that he paid for a trip to paki while they were married or right after their divorce whenever it had occurred. She isn't asking for much from him. Maybe he doesnt remember who knows but to say he will contact NVC is a little out of line...

Simply put......all he had to say was he didnt remember and couldnt help and please dont contact me again...

[TBoneTX 46,262]

all he had to say was he didnt remember and couldnt help and please dont contact me again...

Well, he didn't say that, and he's free to react in any way that he cares to. The OP can contact him again at her peril or try to find another way to get the information. Her question has been answered: No, it's not blackmail. Edited July 30, 2011 by TBoneTX

[EAbbas 213]

Well, he didn't say that, and he's free to react in any way that he cares to. The OP can contact him again at her peril or try to find another way to get the information. Her question has been answered: No, it's not blackmail.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blackmail

In common usage, blackmail is a crime involving threats to reveal substantially true and/or false information about a person to the public, a family member, or associates unless a demand is met.[1][2] It may be defined as coercion involving threats of physical harm, threat of criminal prosecution, or threats for the purposes of taking the person's money or property

it doesn't have to ask for money

Edited July 30, 2011 by EAbbas

[TBoneTX 46,262]

unless a demand is met.

THIS is the operative phrase here. The ex-husband did not contact her with a threat "or else" -- she and her NEW husband contacted HIM, and he's saying, "Leave me alone or I'll fight back to keep you away from me -- it's my right to be left alone, and how much clearer do I have to be about it?"

it doesn't have to ask for money

Exactly where in the OP's post does she say anything about money?

[talean nawaz 41]

now now brown cow, i was only asking for opinions, not a war... i appreciate the input, but there;s no need for arguments or getting defensive.

[EAbbas 213]

In the meantime.. talean... just try calling the airlines on Monday and see if they have any info on your recent trips. Travel agents keep records only for a few months but airlines may keep the informaiton archived in their systems for much longer. They may even be able to send you a copy of your e-ticket... maybe with or without information of who paid or how it was paid.

If you can get any other information from any other friends, relatives who know how the tickets were paid maybe they can write a letter telling of the situation even possibly explalining why you can't get in touch with your ex and have them notarize it and send it.

I'm sure things will work out for you.. don't worry... if I think of something else I'll let you know.

Edited July 30, 2011 by EAbbas

[OnMyWayID 1,489]

Please read what he is saying.. He has been asked to write something dealing with your travel and is not comfortable with what you are asking him to write... He says "When we did separate, I did pay her $1500 cash . Now maybe I can write that because that is true" and "I did not buy her any ticket for that time feb 2009."

The English is a bit rough but it looks like he thinks you are asking him to write something that is a lie and he is stating if you ask him again he is going to inform NVC that you are asking him to lie for you..

Does he have your travel documents (why would the ex-husband have travel documents from after a divorce?) or was he being asked to write an affidavit of some sort?

You are not on good terms, bad bad bad bad bad idea to bug him.

Edited July 30, 2011 by OnMyWayID

[TBoneTX 46,262]

The last two posts above are worth considering, si man.

[talean nawaz 41]

can a moderator delete this post please? i was thinking if somehow the ex found this he may get more pissed... btw he did pay for the ticket with his cc before our divorce was final, i dont know why he is refusing to accept that, this was before i ever met my husband. the embassy is being stubborn saying they need this info, even though it has nothing to do with my husband....

[SuperDuper! 230]

[rodceasar 34]

I would only recommend doing what he asks, which is never to contact him at work again and to consider that although he is not blackmailing you, he can surely put your marraige into question, if he goes the extra mile of contacting the embassy or NVC. Noone wants extra questioning regarding the relationship when dealing with the embassies. It can be brutal...

[Neonred 3,664]

can a moderator delete this post please? i was thinking if somehow the ex found this he may get more pissed... btw he did pay for the ticket with his cc before our divorce was final, i dont know why he is refusing to accept that, this was before i ever met my husband. the embassy is being stubborn saying they need this info, even though it has nothing to do with my husband....

Is this another case of someone typing and pressing enter before thinking, and not liking the responses?