Your perspective is welcomed

[Aztec&Taino 144]

Let it go. It was before you knew of each other's existence. Keep your eyes in your shared lives and future and do not let jealousy ruin your happiness. Move on from this trip.

Edited August 15, 2011 by Aztec&Taino

[caly 48]

My husband laid bare his past to me, ex wife & ex girlfriends alike, as I did to him. I guess for the most part it helps to kinda understand the kind of person as he was at that point in time. I can understand your curiosity.

But I guess it depends on what kind of relationship you have. If you both are willing to leave the past stay in the past, then do so.

I'm with ria_s, I think it really depends on how open your relationship is. But it's important to be able to come to some sort of agreement about how open you both want to be with each other.

[rlogan 2,036]

The past does not matter. Serial killer, cannibal, trans-sexual, visa fraud artist... the past is the past. The best relationship counselors will always tell you that you should never know anything about the people you meet for marriage. You take them as a blank slate and trust that they will be your ideal partner. Right?

Caly is pointing out the importance of agreeing on how open you are with details, but in this case it is not details in my ever humble opinion. You are not asking if his weenie is bigger than yours. You are asking why she went.

There just isn't enough information here to say what to think in this specific situation other than disagreeing with the blanket "past doesn't matter" statement. Naturally, people are all eager to tell you the good things in their past. But when it comes to anything questionable - that's when the "past is past" rationalization is rolled out. In that situation you have a completely one-sided view of someone. People have past relationships - duh.

You have to take these things in the context of a lot more, like whether there are red flags. One of them would be exactly how your impressions of Singapore were created. It obviously came from her, but I would consider whether I had been manipulated into having an impression that was not true, and whether that was a pattern of behavior. For example, if you asked her who the friends were she went with to Cambodia with and she refused to tell you, now there is definitely something wrong.