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Posted

I think you should listen to your gut. It seems to me that you are not happy with this relationship and feel something weird going on. You should listen to that instinct.

AOS for my husband
8/17/10: INTERVIEW DAY (day 123) APPROVED!!

ROC:
5/23/12: Sent out package
2/06/13: APPROVED!

Posted (edited)

and also there's a chance she might not come til after Christmas, originally we had planned she'd be here at end of August beginning of Sept and it turns out my mom has to have surgery in Sept on her stomach, something to do with her bladder and they've been having her do all these tests to make sure her heart will survive the surgery. I told my fiance that it'd mean so much if she could be here for me for support during that time. But here's where the delay comes in, her family wants her there in the Philippines for Christmas, I understand holidays with the fam are extremely important, but I don't really know, any opinions? Thank you!

Well, that's an issue for you and your fiancee to decide but...my wife says...if it was our situation..she wouldn't wait another 5+ months to be with me....

Edited by ~happyndinlove~

Immigration Timeline Summary

10.21.2008 – CR-1 Visa Application Filed (By Hubby's Sec)
09.04.2009 – Visa Interview | Passed
09.10.2009 – Visa Packet Received
09.17.2009 – US Entry | Home
07.05.2011 – ROC Petition Filed
05.01.2012 – ROC Approved (No Interview)
05.18.2012 – 10-year GC Received
06.19.2012 – Eligible to apply for Naturalization
(procrastinated)
06.24.2013 – N-400 Application Filed
09.30.2013 – Civics Test / Interview | Passed
10.03.2013 – Oath Taking Ceremony | Became a USCitizen!
04.14.2014 – Applied for "Expedite Service" Passport (as PI travel date was fast approaching)
04.16.2014 – Passport Issued & Shipped
04.17.2014 – US Passport Received

Our timeline vanished into thin air.

I've contacted the admin several times but I got zero response.

https://meiscookery.wordpress.com

Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline
Posted

I think you should listen to your gut. It seems to me that you are not happy with this relationship and feel something weird going on. You should listen to that instinct.

For the most part, I am happy with this relationship, I just wish things could go back to where she was happy with me and not how she is now :-(

Posted

No, just can't always calculate stuff like that before it happens.

You and your fiancee did not anticipate travel expenses...room....food for the medical and interview? :blink:

Immigration Timeline Summary

10.21.2008 – CR-1 Visa Application Filed (By Hubby's Sec)
09.04.2009 – Visa Interview | Passed
09.10.2009 – Visa Packet Received
09.17.2009 – US Entry | Home
07.05.2011 – ROC Petition Filed
05.01.2012 – ROC Approved (No Interview)
05.18.2012 – 10-year GC Received
06.19.2012 – Eligible to apply for Naturalization
(procrastinated)
06.24.2013 – N-400 Application Filed
09.30.2013 – Civics Test / Interview | Passed
10.03.2013 – Oath Taking Ceremony | Became a USCitizen!
04.14.2014 – Applied for "Expedite Service" Passport (as PI travel date was fast approaching)
04.16.2014 – Passport Issued & Shipped
04.17.2014 – US Passport Received

Our timeline vanished into thin air.

I've contacted the admin several times but I got zero response.

https://meiscookery.wordpress.com

Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline
Posted

You and your fiancee did not anticipate travel expenses...room....food for the medical and interview? :blink:

It takes her almost 30 minutes to get there from her house. She lives not far from it. I could see if she had to fly or go a long distance.

Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline
Posted

in my opinion, she doesn't really love you. She doesn't treat you right now that you are apart from each other. What more when you are together? :no:

u don't think she's acting like this cause of the stress?

Filed: Country: United Kingdom
Timeline
Posted

Ok, I've read this entire post, and for almost all of it I was strongly siding with your fiance. As the one who relocated to the US in our relationship, I could really understand the "think of what i'm giving up" comment, as i felt exactly the same! I was initially very excited, but as time drew nearer, and i realised that as i was meeting up with old friends etc - that it could be the last time I would ever see them....

All I'm saying is that it's a stressful thing to go through, and to all of the people saying "she doesn't love you" i'm taking a guess that most of them are the USC who didn't have to move! Anyone who has been through the relocation would sympathise with the feelings she had!

For me, I never once doubted my love, but it wasn't until I had an interview date that i suddenly realised how hard it was going to be. Imagine giving up your whole life..... unless it's a unhappy life, it's quite unlikely your going to be super excited about it - i wasn't! But I WAS EXCITED TO SEE MY FIANCE! The four months we spent apart almost killed me, and that's what kept us going!

It is difficult, but as soon as i stepped off that plane and saw him, all those doubts went away!

Having said that - alarm bells started sounding when you said she got mad over $11? Seriously? $11??

My now husband & I have spent roughly even amounts on this process, and in my eyes that's how it should be - if it's something you both want, why would she expect you to pay for EVERYTHING?

Maybe it is the difference in our situations, it may be the norm for philipina's to expect costs to be paid - but in my eyes it would make me question exactly why she entered into this in the first place?

I am honestly not judging you, or your situation, but anyone who gets mad over $11 seems to be a bit too concerned with the financial side of things?

I hope i haven't upset anyone, just offering my opinions

I really wish you all the best, and i hope you can find the truth :)

Posted

sarah9

"I am honestly not judging you, or your situation, but anyone who gets mad over $11 seems to be a bit too concerned with the financial side of things?"

I don't know what his fiance's financial situation is. I can tell you this much though, $11 CAN be a lot of money to an individual person. My wife was making about $100 per month working 6 days per week and sending half of that back to her parents. That left her with $50 to live on for the month. That $1.66 per day so $11 would have been over six days worth of living expenses.

If I shorted my wife $11 on the expenses I promised to pay, I'm sure she would have panicked. She would have had to borrow the money from a relative IF they had any and then she could never save enough to pay them back.

Kev n Jena

thumb_Kyle_John_1_email.jpgthumb_Img_2057_web.jpgthumb_Pictures_429.jpg

hypocrit - a person who feigns some desirable or publicly approved attitude, especially one whose private life, opinions, or statements belie his or her public statements.

Pet Peeve for 2011 - supercilious, contemptuous, arrogant, attitudes.

Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline
Posted

sarah9

"I am honestly not judging you, or your situation, but anyone who gets mad over $11 seems to be a bit too concerned with the financial side of things?"

I don't know what his fiance's financial situation is. I can tell you this much though, $11 CAN be a lot of money to an individual person. My wife was making about $100 per month working 6 days per week and sending half of that back to her parents. That left her with $50 to live on for the month. That $1.66 per day so $11 would have been over six days worth of living expenses.

If I shorted my wife $11 on the expenses I promised to pay, I'm sure she would have panicked. She would have had to borrow the money from a relative IF they had any and then she could never save enough to pay them back.

Did anyone notice he said $11 for a taxi? If you can go in a taxi for $11 you can take a jeepney or a bus for more like $2 , My fiance is earning a couple dollars a day also. I did send some xtra

misc money with the money for the medical and the visa fee. but if I had not she would not have been mad. She would have done what she had to do to get there even if that meant walking.

I also send her a monthly allowance which she did not ask for. When I sent her an xtra $40 and told her to buy herself a birthday present, she asked if she could send that money to her dad in the province

and I said it's your money if that's what you want to do, do it.

Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline
Posted

I said I'd pay for everything except for the plan ticket, I didn't expect she couldn't pay for something small like transportation to and from these places.

This sounds very unusual.

I'm sure less than one percent of the Philippinas pay for their own plane ticket. It is not strange that it would strain your finances but it is very strange

if she can afford it better than you.

It makes this $11 issue all the more strange.

About her answering your add on craigslist, there is nothing strange or unusual about that but

imagine you are working at Mcdonalds and a guy walks in stands in front of the counter and you say can I help you?

He says "NO, Im not hungry" that dosnt make any sense, Everyone knows there is something wrong with that story

If your add on Craigslist indicated you were an american looking for possible marriage it wouldn't make much sense for her

to answer the add unless she wanted to come to the States or she wanted to see how much money she could get.

If you have been sending her a couple hundred a month for allowance and she's busting your nuts over $11 then you have been had.

If she's got the money for a plane ticket and you don't and she's busting your nuts over $11 then you have been had.

If you don't want to be a plumber, you dont go to help wanted section of Craigslist, find an opening for plumber and then apply.

If you are not sending her money every month and she has the money to be riding taxi cabs and going on Island hoping vacations and buying plane tickets

then she is pretty well off in the Philippines and may be very unhappy here.

the possible reasons for coming here include.

#1 she loves you

#2 she wants to come here to improve her life situation

#3 she dosnt want to come here but her family wants her to come here to improve their life situation

I think if it's you she is coming for she wouldn't put it off untill the last minute.

If she wants to come here, .........well she is not acting like that

I think #3 is the most likely scenario.

If Judy's dad was having major surgery and she wanted me there to support her,

and I had the ability to be there, I would not say OK wait 5 months.

If there is any part of you thinking there is something wrong with this picture.,

It is not paranoia, it is common sense peeking out

Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ecuador
Timeline
Posted
she dosnt want to come here but her family wants her to come here to improve their life situation
This.

06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

  • 2 weeks later...
Filed: AOS (pnd) Country: Philippines
Timeline
Posted

I hate to say it but sometimes it seems like she's not happy about coming here and I can't let her come here if that's how she feels, but anytime I bring it up, it's the same excuse, "she says I should think about what she's giving up to move to the US and that should answer my question"

dude

you are in for a rude awakening once she gets here.

believe me, i have showered my wife with all that i can give and up until recently she still threatens to go home and never come back.

y??? you may ask, well thats just her reaction when she is homesick or she simply doesnt understand something that is going on around her. 6 months in now and things are becoming much better.

man you better have a great abundance of patience and understanding.

oh and dont spoil her, it will only make it worse.

i spoiled my wife and its hard to reverse that.

good luck

5/24 submitted AOS

6/08 NOA

6/21 RFE

7/14 AOS Transfere

7/26 received biometrics appt. (8/15/2011)

8/15 BIOMETRICS COMPLETE

8/19 APPROVAL LETTER FOR EAD MAILED

8/22 EAD AND AP ARRIVED IN MAIL

8/31 AOS APPROVED

9/14 GREEN CARD ORDERED FOR PRODUCTION

9/17 RECIEVED GREEN CARD

Filed: AOS (pnd) Country: Philippines
Timeline
Posted

dude

you are in for a rude awakening once she gets here.

believe me, i have showered my wife with all that i can give and up until recently she still threatens to go home and never come back.

y??? you may ask, well thats just her reaction when she is homesick or she simply doesnt understand something that is going on around her. 6 months in now and things are becoming much better.

man you better have a great abundance of patience and understanding.

oh and dont spoil her, it will only make it worse.

i spoiled my wife and its hard to reverse that.

good luck

wow im sorry i posted what i did above. you sound like a cheap ####. you want her to pay for a plane ticket?? thats ridiculous.

the girl you are in love with is poor by our standards. how can you ask her to buy a plane ticket?? thats just dumb.

if you cant afford it then you never should have started this process.

i think i see why she is worried. she will be coming to the US and into the same situation she was before.

you should have picked a wife that could have just walked across the border to save you money.

5/24 submitted AOS

6/08 NOA

6/21 RFE

7/14 AOS Transfere

7/26 received biometrics appt. (8/15/2011)

8/15 BIOMETRICS COMPLETE

8/19 APPROVAL LETTER FOR EAD MAILED

8/22 EAD AND AP ARRIVED IN MAIL

8/31 AOS APPROVED

9/14 GREEN CARD ORDERED FOR PRODUCTION

9/17 RECIEVED GREEN CARD

 
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