Is It Paranoia? Advice pls...

[Cmptrsdeal 76]

What area of Ohio? Are you near a city?

Columbus, OH

[Cmptrsdeal 76]

I still am curious how you met. If you met online, especially an online dating service, then one would question why she was on there in the first place talking to an american man if she doesn't want to leave the Philippines. Talking about it isn't going to help if she's being forced into it from somewhere else.

Regardless what anyone thinks, I posted an ad on Manila craigslist and after seeding the bad ones out, I found her.

[kev_n_jena 89]

Columbus, OH

My link

Local Catholic churches will certainly have Filipino members in a city the size of Columbus. Anyone is free to attend mass. Just say hi and introduce yourselves on the way out of church. If you don't see any Filipinos at that mass, they may be attending a different Catholic church in the area or at a different time. Odds are there is a Filipino priest in the Columbus area but I don't know that for a fact. Yahoo lists 7 Catholic churches there.

You could check if this store is still open:

Philippine Express

5434 W Broad St, Columbus, OH 43228

Before Jena got here I walked into the local Filipino owned store and struck up a conversation with the owner. I explained what my situation was and he was very helpful. His daughter ended up hiring my wife where she works.

here's an older thread too:

My link

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Regardless what anyone thinks, I posted an ad on Manila craigslist and after seeding the bad ones out, I found her.

We're not judging you (well I'm not). Just pointing out that if she REALLY had no intent to leave the Philippines then why would she have answered an ad from an American? Did she want you to move there? I'm sorry but it's just odd is all and quite honestly throws up a red-flag and makes my previous statement of her saying that outright being a way to first reel you in and make you think she's not after you for the GC. The previous persons statement where they talked about that post on FB and how the girl was "doing it for the family" could well apply in your case given what you've written so far... she might like you, but she could also just be going through with it to support her family (the money as I mentioned before) and is getting cold feet.

I think the majority of people here in valid relationships will tell you that while they were scared about leaving their family and friends and everything they knew, they didn't have doubts about the relationship. Their significant others (the USC's) also never doubted their commitment to THEM, just were upset that it was so hard to leave and give up their life. Tony never doubted my commitment to him and knew I was excited to FINALLY be with him, but he also knew I was a little scared/worried about leaving everything I knew so he was careful to try and help my transition. The fact you're not sure and the fact you said "you won't bring her here" if she's not excited doesn't exactly speak well of your relationship.

Again no judgement. I'm just telling you how I see it.

[le_janna 0]

Hi! I've been here in the United States for a month already. Before I leave the Philippines, I was like her too. I wanted to be with my husband (we were separated 8.5 months) but at the same time I don't want to leave my family and friends. It's a big sacrifice that I'm gonna leave everything I have in the Philippines for my husband. I was scared and nervous but my husband do everything for me not to be so homesick. He lets me skype with my family and friends, we go to filipino store or restaurant if i miss eating filipino foods and he introduce me to his filipino friends. So, I think its a normal feeling but when she gets here and you make her feel that you love her so much and both of you are happy together, everything will be okay. good luck!

[Cmptrsdeal 76]

We're not judging you (well I'm not). Just pointing out that if she REALLY had no intent to leave the Philippines then why would she have answered an ad from an American? Did she want you to move there? I'm sorry but it's just odd is all and quite honestly throws up a red-flag and makes my previous statement of her saying that outright being a way to first reel you in and make you think she's not after you for the GC. The previous persons statement where they talked about that post on FB and how the girl was "doing it for the family" could well apply in your case given what you've written so far... she might like you, but she could also just be going through with it to support her family (the money as I mentioned before) and is getting cold feet.

I think the majority of people here in valid relationships will tell you that while they were scared about leaving their family and friends and everything they knew, they didn't have doubts about the relationship. Their significant others (the USC's) also never doubted their commitment to THEM, just were upset that it was so hard to leave and give up their life. Tony never doubted my commitment to him and knew I was excited to FINALLY be with him, but he also knew I was a little scared/worried about leaving everything I knew so he was careful to try and help my transition. The fact you're not sure and the fact you said "you won't bring her here" if she's not excited doesn't exactly speak well of your relationship.

Again no judgement. I'm just telling you how I see it.

Not that fact I'm worried, just paranoid, many guys would be the same way. I know how I feel about her and I don't question her love for me. I know she loves me and I never questioned her love. I was just paranoid, the paranoia is over, it's all a matter of time.......

[Cmptrsdeal 76]

:-( more stuff came up.... I'm not wanted to talk to, cause I am not paying for every single thing big or small.

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

:-( more stuff came up.... I'm not wanted to talk to, cause I am not paying for every single thing big or small.

[B_J 2,752]

:-( more stuff came up.... I'm not wanted to talk to, cause I am not paying for every single thing big or small.

Could you expand on that thought?

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

:-( more stuff came up.... I'm not wanted to talk to, cause I am not paying for every single thing big or small.

She doesn't want to talk to you 'cause you are not providing enough cash flow? I hope you will expound on this ...in detail...so others might benefit by learning from your experience.

Wondering....have you ever had the following happen to you or a friend ...?....,

Went to buy a car. Took the test drive...salesmen was a brown nosing expert...sales manager made the buyer feel like a special customer and customer service is priority #1...they explain you are dealing with a straight forward no BS dealership...don't want you to feel pressured and regret the purchase later so, they suggest you take the car home for the weekend...after the weekend you decide you love the car and go back ready to sign...and then... they drop the bomb...after reviewing your credit history they are sorry to say but..well...your interest rate is going to be sky high and they need somewhere in the amount of 20% down to close the deal.

Bait and Switch dude...bait and switch.

Edited August 4, 2011 by ~happyndinlove~

[Cmptrsdeal 76]

She's mad I do not pay for the taxi to and from the medical exam and probably the same with the interview.

I sent her 350 bucks for the visa fee, she had to pay 11 dollars extra and was extremely pissed off about it.

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

She's mad I do not pay for the taxi to and from the medical exam and probably the same with the interview.

I sent her 350 bucks for the visa fee, she had to pay 11 dollars extra and was extremely pissed off about it.

OK...this shouldn't be a huge dilemma. Did you discuss these expenses ahead of time? Did you promise you would cover all expenses?

Edited August 4, 2011 by ~happyndinlove~

[Cmptrsdeal 76]

I said I'd pay for everything except for the plan ticket, I didn't expect she couldn't pay for something small like transportation to and from these places.

[Cmptrsdeal 76]

and also there's a chance she might not come til after Christmas, originally we had planned she'd be here at end of August beginning of Sept and it turns out my mom has to have surgery in Sept on her stomach, something to do with her bladder and they've been having her do all these tests to make sure her heart will survive the surgery. I told my fiance that it'd mean so much if she could be here for me for support during that time. But here's where the delay comes in, her family wants her there in the Philippines for Christmas, I understand holidays with the fam are extremely important, but I don't really know, any opinions? Thank you!

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

I said I'd pay for everything except for the plan ticket, I didn't expect she couldn't pay for something small like transportation to and from these places.

Well..there you have it...everything means everything...doesn't it? You decided to renig?