K1 divorce

[sofunny 0]

Hi everyone,

I guess the title says it all. i dont know where to start from or what should i say and what should i not. i entered the staes under a k1 visa and i was hoping that all the drama and the arguments and all the bad moments was left behind and was left on this 15" monitor. but i was wrong. i guess this whole marriage should have been avoided if i was not blinded of the fact that things will get better and will change. before we got married we had to face a huge wall called "difference in religion" but we had to put that aside and try to get marry and get our life going. which we got married after 1 month and 2 weeks of me entering the states.

i dont wanna talk about some of her family members sticking their noses in this marriage and saying stuffs on me behind my back and me having to put up with ###### and stick it up my #### as a big boy. which always lead to a big fights most of the time.

i had no job for almost 3 months. but i have a friend lives in another states that owns his own business and he offered a place and a job for my wife better than the job she had so after many arguments and fights the man drove to our house and picked us up and we wnt with him and stayed with for almost 1 month that was full of journy. 1st week; she couldnt adapt or adjust with the new situation so we kept argueing. i tried to calm her down and tried to keep things together and i know it was a hard situation. 2-3 week we had to go through lots of drama because of lack of xanax she freaked out even thought she had enough pills to get her through a whole week. called me names cussed me and even wanted a divorce and this was the first time she asked for one. things was so perfect between me and her up there so. last week which we already had a plan to come back because she had a court date, the night of that trip we had a huge fight because she was sitting with my friend's girlfirned talking about me and him also his gf was talking ###### about me and him and my religion s my friend clicked and it came also between me and her and we had a big fight. then we had to drive back next day to out home.

since we made it back things been always stressfull. we maybe got along for one week or so then we started fighting most of them time because of nothing, and she was blaming it on me for not having a job because we had to move with my friend. sure, just blame it on me. and she wouldnt even put any effort to find a new job or go look around, needless to say she always hated her old job and everytime she get off work she would come home and start drama about her job and what happend with that employee and this manager etc etc.

before i left i had a job -iam not allowed to work by the way- i quit to go with my friend and when i had to move back i went back to the same place and all the time i would go there at 930 am to 8 pm and come back to her bitching and her drama and this and that. this was my supper every night for 2 weeks.

one day her brother got drunk at our place and started to act srupid -btw i dont drink at all- and he started talking some tongues sounded to me like spanish but it was nothing but a gibberish and i was sitting there likea fool so i was offended. another day i got off work i come home and find his beer at the house so i asked my wife if she drank and she said no but he offerd and she told him my husband dont like me to drink so he was like your 35 years u can drink. and that offended me so damn bad so i waited for him to come in and i told him i dont want beer in this house and i sure dont want my wife to drink and that was the spark. that we went through lots of problems for 2 weeks she even admitted that she thought of killing me.

after that, we worked things out after too much troubles, and since that i have been trying my dam best to keep this marrige going but anyone could say one single small world and they could easily make her flip on me and start all kind of things. and through that time or fight we had she asked many time for divorce.

now, about 3 nights ago she was at her step mom and they was talking andher step mom said that i have been her for almost 8 months and i havent changed?! she think i would ente the states and i would change my faith and convert to christianty and shr told her this isnt good for a marriage and god not going to bless this marriage. next thing i know her she wants a divorce and i dont think i can keep up with this anymore.

YES i know she worked hard to get me over here and yes i know she loves me -maybe- and i know what she went through and what she paid and and and but i cant accept this kind of life. she wnats a divorce and i have nothing but an expired k1 visa printed on my passport. if we divorce whats going to happen to me? am i simply going to be diported? would someone please tell me? or can i start another process? just tell me what my options are. please help me people

[Rufus2012 175]

Did you file for adjustment of status yet? That's not clear from your posting, and would help someone give you advice.

[Lala Trinidad 0]

You should apply for a adjustment of your visa to stay here....your story was insightful into every aspect the good and bad but you should pray and have faith.....marriage is between husband and wife ONLY!!!!! Not the entire family

[sofunny 0]

No i haven't filed for any papers since i got here. because we never had the chance to come up with $1000.00 and we didnt even know that until we got married and decided to send the paper work and they told us we need to send the money along with the paperwork. Lala, i have been telling her the same for 8 months, never changed a thing lol you should see her posts on FB when we get into a fight or argument she bash me like a dog.

[sofunny 0]

Please people, if anyone got any useful information or advice i really need one so bad right now

[Tahoma 2,292]

Get a cash advance on a credit card or borrow the money in order to adjust your status.

Then go to a marriage counselor.

[sofunny 0]

even if i got the money, she will not sign the paper for many reasons, she is going to divorce me for one, for two she doesnt have a job at the moment.

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

The only verifiable answer I can come up with that is in your best interest, then go back home to your home country and act as if this night-mare never happen.

[sofunny 0]

its not that easy, after i lost everything n my country after i quit my job and i dont think its easy to find one now according to the financial situation everywhere. i really dont know.

[TBoneTX 45,329]

From your entire description -- and solely from the statement that she thought about killing you -- she is mentally unstable. This plus her unemployment plus the seemingly irreconcilable religious differences are no foundation for a healthy or viable marriage. At this stage, it's doubtful that marriage counseling would make a meaningful difference.

The posters who suggest that you apply for AOS are misguided. Even if your wife agreed to apply (which she will not, given that she wants to divorce if not kill you), she would have to attend any interview with you, and the chances are slim that you would pass.

If I were in your situation, I would cooperate with the divorce and leave the U.S. (the only option), whether to go back to my home country or to any other. Your situation is untenable and potentially dangerous. I recommend that you begin making these plans. Contact your friends, relatives, and former associates in your home country -- you're only a few "contacts" away from finding a job and a better situation for yourself.

This is a shame, but not all relationships are meant to be, and everything happens for a reason. There's a whole world out there and a better place in it for you.

Edited July 28, 2011 by TBoneTX

[sofunny 0]

i searched the web and the answer i found was that i will have to leave the states once the divorce happens. why?1 because i am here in the first place to marry and to stay with her, and if thats main thing fails or gone then i have no reason for me to stay here. but the question is, it cant be done that way after putting effort and spending time and money to get here then i get kicked i the balls like that. i was really hoping for an EXPERT advice if i still can get some legal papers and if i can stay or not. i do can come up with the money easy my family will do anything to have me back in a heart beat. but i dont wanna be a burden on no one, i was a burden on them when i needed money to book my flight and have some cash to survive at the begining. so now what?

[TBoneTX 45,329]

i searched the web and the answer i found was that i will have to leave the states once the divorce happens.

This is accurate.

but the question is, it cant be done that way after putting effort and spending time and money to get here then i get kicked i the balls like that.

Avoid taking it personally. Things happen for a reason. Would you rather that she kill you?

i was really hoping for an EXPERT advice if i still can get some legal papers and if i can stay or not.

The advice that you found on the Web is what the highest-paid immigration lawyer would tell you: You cannot legally stay without adjusting your status on the basis of marriage to the original petitioner.

my family will do anything to have me back in a heart beat.

This is an excellent first start for the upcoming new phase of your life.

but i dont wanna be a burden on no one, i was a burden on them when i needed money to book my flight and have some cash to survive at the begining. so now what?

You sound like a man with pride, and a man with pride will take every step necessary to avoid being a burden on others, such as doing everything possible to find a new job back home. You have the chance to get started now.

[sofunny 0]

i know it sounds the best thing to do now, but its hard.

[missicy 87]

The only way for you to stay in the US would be to file for adjustment of status. You would need her signature on affidavit of support for that. I doubt she will sign the form and even is she will, filing for AOS based on a marriage to her would basically be a fraud, because your marriage is not working out. Filing AOS for the purpouse of staying in the country with no intent to live together as a married couple (good faith marriage) is immigration fraud.

There is no other way for you to adjust status and stay in the country legally.

[Jenna&Moe 8]

bsara7a a2olk sha3'leh...hay maratk zin5a first of all... 2nd rja3 3nd ahlk w tjowez bint 7alal...dont stay in america if you dont have papers la2ino bil a5er its going to be horrible for you.... you wont be able to work, get a house etc. the only other option you have... I am sorry to say it and completely 100% against it but realistically speaking is tjowez wa7deh taniya... ro7 la2ilek wa7deh 3arabiya w raye7 rassk... marriage with Arabs and Americans are hard enough, let alone Muslim and Christian. Trust me growing up in a mixed home like that. My mother Is american and was christian, while my father is Palestinian and Muslim... but My mother NEVER disrespected my fathers religion in the way this woman did... and eventually (2 weeks after I was born) my mom converted (after al sheikh athan fe dani and i just suddenly stopped crying and a light hit my face... They named me Jenna and then My mom converted) but still even after that, the different cultures were waaaaaaaay to hard to deal with...even till this day and my parents have been married for 27 years (mashallah Al7amdulilah) and it has not been easy and my parents are considered to have a good marriage under the circumstances.... Honestly if she had any brains she would have tried to find you work before you came to america... this child you married does not know what she wantes with her life, and is a completely disrespectful person who you obviously do not belong with... If I was in your situation, I would try to contact an Immigration lawyer. Actually I am going to call my lawyer tomorrow and ask for you and I will respond back maybe he can help out (he is one of the best here in chicago afterall) I am so sorry for what you have gone through...wallahi law 7ata afekar a3ml heka la 5atibi bser a3ayat... jeez how arab and americans are so different I swear... I already found an apartment, and a job, and started furniture shopping and bought the paint... I sign the lease the day of my fiances interview Inshallah... tab3an he is paying for it lol but still I care too much about him for him to have 1 second of pain, or sadness when he is in America with me.... anyways Allah ywaf2k ya rab, w yjeblk 5er... stay strong, and make sure you do what is right, no matter the consequences