Petitioner doesn't want to get married

[Ready to do it 101]

I apologize T-Bone. I saw the flag in your profile and assumed Colombia. Your fiance/spouse is from Ecuador. Different country, but similar in many aspects.

Edited July 27, 2011 by Ready to do it

[lovepath 11]

For some people, the visa process is quick and smooth (4-6 months), for others (most others) it is an agonizing long wait (9-10 months and up). I wonder if the people who had to endure all the suffering and agony of waiting for their loved one to come here have greater appreciation for this process and think 1000000000000000000000000000000 times before making any decision quickly. The K-1 visa is for 90 days (not 2 weeks)...there is a very good reason for that. We do not know the whole situation, but 2 weeks is not 90 days. This situation might need:

-Thinking

-Time, time, time, time, time (the k-1 is for 90 days people!), time, time,......

-Talking (Real heart to heart talk with each other)

Changing the date of the return ticket is nothing (does not even come close) compared with living with the results of making a quick decision. Re-filing for another visa is not easy....Most of the people here on VJ know that, specially those who had to wait more that 10 months or more for their loved one.

Best wishes and good luck

[Nyte 1]

What I don't understand about the "she will return to nothing" argument is this: what do we expect the OP to do? Marry someone he does not love and then misrepresent that marriage to USCIS? This is obviously illegal. Even if the OP does have the financial means to change his fiancee's return ticket closer to the 90 day mark, what happens if day 89 comes around and he still does not want to get married? There are losses for both parties involved, and while I understand the foreign fiancee may have an extremely difficult life to return to, what else can be done?

OP -- I'm very sorry that you and your (hopefully not ex) fiancee have to go with this. I wish you the best!

[mystickal 8]

Sad to say OP's in a bit of a pickle.

[san diego 407]

What I don't understand about the "she will return to nothing" argument is this: what do we expect the OP to do? Marry someone he does not love and then misrepresent that marriage to USCIS? This is obviously illegal. Even if the OP does have the financial means to change his fiancee's return ticket closer to the 90 day mark, what happens if day 89 comes around and he still does not want to get married? There are losses for both parties involved, and while I understand the foreign fiancee may have an extremely difficult life to return to, what else can be done?

OP -- I'm very sorry that you and your (hopefully not ex) fiancee have to go with this. I wish you the best!

We don't expect anything from OP because we do not know his situation. However, as mentioned, I would make sure that they return to the state prior to meeting me, meaning whatever they lost in the process should be reimbursed for.

[Nyte 1]

We don't expect anything from OP because we do not know his situation. However, as mentioned, I would make sure that they return to the state prior to meeting me, meaning whatever they lost in the process should be reimbursed for.

And if this isn't possible?

[san diego 407]

And if this isn't possible?

Nothing is impossible. Individuals make "impossible" as an excuse. Then you shouldn't of bring this person over on the first place. This is not a cat or a dog that you can play with and then abandon them. Then you find 2 jobs and pay in installments. If I was USCIS I would definitely make people liable for it. I just think this is a shame that you can bring someone into the country like a novelty and then abandon them..

[Nyte 1]

Nothing is impossible. Individuals make "impossible" as an excuse. Then you shouldn't of bring this person over on the first place. This is not a cat or a dog that you can play with and then abandon them. Then you find 2 jobs and pay in installments. If I was USCIS I would definitely make people liable for it. I just think this is a shame that you can bring someone into the country like a novelty and then abandon them..

Your right. It is not a cat or a dog. This is a human that needs to take responsibility for his or her own actions. Let me put it another way ... if nothing is impossible, then it is not impossible for the OP's ex to survive on her own as she did before. I disagree that one party should work two jobs because of poor planning on the other's part. This is a case of a relationship not working out, not someone playing with and later abandoning another human.

[san diego 407]

Your right. It is not a cat or a dog. This is a human that needs to take responsibility for his or her own actions. Let me put it another way ... if nothing is impossible, then it is not impossible for the OP's ex to survive on her own as she did before. I disagree that one party should work two jobs because of poor planning on the other's part. This is a case of a relationship not working out, not someone playing with and later abandoning another human.

You are right. However, if you read my previous posts, I am arguing that receiving party is responsible. This is my opinion. As I was mentioning, I was considering moving to Russia to my fiancee. In this case, she would be responsible for me. To be honest, I would be pissed if I moved to Russia, left my job in US, and she booted me out 1 month later..

Edited July 27, 2011 by san diego

[Nyte 1]

You are right. However, if you read my previous posts, I am arguing that receiving party is responsible. This is my opinion. As I was mentioning, I was considering moving to Russia to my fiancee. In this case, she would be responsible for me. To be honest, I would be pissed if I moved to Russia, left my job in US, and she booted me out 1 month later..

I read your post, and I understand your point. I just do not agree that the receiving party is 100% responsible. I think the responsibility is 50/50.

[san diego 407]

I read your post, and I understand your point. I just do not agree that the receiving party is 100% responsible. I think the responsibility is 50/50.

OK. Would you agree that receiving party should pay at least 50% of "restoration" cost?

[Nyte 1]

OK. Would you agree that receiving party should pay at least 50% of "restoration" cost?

I don't believe that 50% of responsibility for the situation translates into 50% of the financial costs. In my opinion, legally, the inviting party should not be liable for anything. MORALLY, I completely agree that the inviting party should at very least assist the "visiting" party to return to their country of origin.

[san diego 407]

I don't believe that 50% of responsibility for the situation translates into 50% of the financial costs. In my opinion, legally, the inviting party should not be liable for anything. MORALLY, I completely agree that the inviting party should at very least assist the "visiting" party to return to their country of origin.

I do not think there is a point in continuing since we will both retain our opinions. This is all the matter of taste and perceptions.

[TBoneTX 44,658]

I apologize T-Bone. I saw the flag in your profile and assumed Colombia. Your fiance/spouse is from Ecuador. Different country, but similar in many aspects.

No apology necessary, no man. You and we are fine, si man. I agree with what you say. During the process of meeting the eventual Mrs. T-B., I corresponded with some Colombianas, but I lost my nerve due to some "warning flickers" and the overall increased peril of connecting with someone legitimate in a desperately poor country. This is not to disparage Colombia or Colombianas; I salute all who have pursued and healthily connected with Colombianas, si man.

[AC15 0]

I thinkthatthe best way is to sit down and talk to her and b honest about everything. If it's not really working then don't push it. But, I agree that she left everything to be here with you, whatever her situation migt have been before she got here. YOu don't have to be rude and just kick her out. She basically dowdy know anything about this new place yu brought her to in the name of love and relationship. So, man up and talk to her. If it's not gonna wOrk, she and her children deserves a safe flight back home. I hope you find out within yourself what yOu really want. Good luck!