Fraudulent Marriage vs. Legitimate Divorce (Part II)

[PurrSuede 0]

While it is fresh in the agent's mind, why not draft a simple Affidavit that he/she could sign, noting that at this point in time your ex-wife's vehicle was being reported as at the former marital home? Sure would be interesting to see if the alien filed an AR-11. Some don't

Oh I love a devious mind...

I always want you on my good side tho, babe.

And as I said, I don't need an Affidavit, I have the insurance statement itself as well as her insurance ID and Fiscal Responsibility card, dated on 08/29 using MY last name and MY address, a month after the divorce was final. It was nice of them to send this to me, no affidavit needed...

Well as a matter of fact, I felt rather devious myself first calling the insurance agent and getting her to verify the "other" address she had on file... of course this also matched the address on the "change of address" she used for my bank account... I then used a reverse phone book to track down who lives at that address.. called her and very politely inquired if my ex- was there.

When I was told she hadn't lived there for some time, and had a lot of mail already accumulated there, she asked me if I had my ex-'s cell phone number. I thanked her and said "no, but I'd like to tell her that her insurance card is over here waiting for her, you know she should ~really~ have that in her car when driving..."... so she politely gave me my ex-'s new cell phone number.. Very nice and sweet older woman it seems...

At which point my ex- and I had a very "nice" conversation over her cell number, where I informed her that if I saw her name and address on another piece of financial paperwork tied to me, or any further attempt to mess with my bank accounts, I would not only report her to the police for possible consideration of "identity theft" but also I would tie her up with more litigation than she could dream of for "harrassment" post-divorce and attempting to use my name/address/services/bank accounts/credit report or whatever when she is no longer entitled to do so... and that she could then use the entire $12,000 I gave her as "support" in defending herself against the violations of the Temporary Domestic Order from the Divorce Decree that she has repeatedly committed

The "nice" conversation ended with me hanging up on her. When she attempted to call me back five times, I then informed her that I did not wish to speak to her and if my phone rang one more time that my next phone call would be to the police and I would immediately file harrassment charges against her...

<smile>

-- Devious Dan

Dan thank you for snubbing my recommendation.... I did read all of your post and if you think she is acting fraudulently then it is up to you to report her to ICE If you do or don't does not effect me in anyway I was only giving my opinion... its also up to you to get the proof... so if you don't want peoples advice I suggest you don't post on a public forum....

Kezzie

And Kezzie, I was -asking- if anyone had done this, and if so, HOW they reported it, meaning what -proof- did they offer... so yes, I want "advice" from those who have ~been there, done that~ and I pray to God/dess that you may never need to do this!

Again, forgive me if I seemed trite, but it's been one Hellacious day dealing with her cr*p....

-- Dan

[diadromous mermaid 36]

While it is fresh in the agent's mind, why not draft a simple Affidavit that he/she could sign, noting that at this point in time your ex-wife's vehicle was being reported as at the former marital home? Sure would be interesting to see if the alien filed an AR-11. Some don't

Oh I love a devious mind...

I always want you on my good side tho, babe.

And as I said, I don't need an Affidavit, I have the insurance statement itself as well as her insurance ID and Fiscal Responsibility card, dated on 08/29 using MY last name and MY address, a month after the divorce was final. It was nice of them to send this to me, no affidavit needed...

Well as a matter of fact, I felt rather devious myself first calling the insurance agent and getting her to verify the "other" address she had on file... of course this also matched the address on the "change of address" she used for my bank account... I then used a reverse phone book to track down who lives at that address.. called her and very politely inquired if my ex- was there.

When I was told she hadn't lived there for some time, and had a lot of mail already accumulated there, she asked me if I had my ex-'s cell phone number. I thanked her and said "no, but I'd like to tell her that her insurance card is over here waiting for her, you know she should ~really~ have that in her car when driving..."... so she politely gave me my ex-'s new cell phone number.. Very nice and sweet older woman it seems...

At which point my ex- and I had a very "nice" conversation over her cell number, where I informed her that if I saw her name and address on another piece of financial paperwork tied to me, or any further attempt to mess with my bank accounts, I would not only report her to the police for possible consideration of "identity theft" but also I would tie her up with more litigation than she could dream of for "harrassment" post-divorce and attempting to use my name/address/services/bank accounts/credit report or whatever when she is no longer entitled to do so... and that she could then use the entire $12,000 I gave her as "support" in defending herself against the violations of the Temporary Domestic Order from the Divorce Decree that she has repeatedly committed

The "nice" conversation ended with me hanging up on her. When she attempted to call me back five times, I then informed her that I did not wish to speak to her and if my phone rang one more time that my next phone call would be to the police and I would immediately file harrassment charges against her...

<smile>

-- Devious Dan

Dan thank you for snubbing my recommendation.... I did read all of your post and if you think she is acting fraudulently then it is up to you to report her to ICE If you do or don't does not effect me in anyway I was only giving my opinion... its also up to you to get the proof... so if you don't want peoples advice I suggest you don't post on a public forum....

Kezzie

And Kezzie, I was -asking- if anyone had done this, and if so, HOW they reported it, meaning what -proof- did they offer... so yes, I want "advice" from those who have ~been there, done that~ and I pray to God/dess that you may never need to do this!

Again, forgive me if I seemed trite, but it's been one Hellacious day dealing with her cr*p....

-- Dan

I disagree on the affidavit. Right now the insurance statement you have is simply inanimate evidence. An affidavit is testimony of a potential witness, should the need arise.

[Kez/JWolf 6]

You cant stop her using her married name.... it became hers to use the day you married her and its her choice to continue using it or not.....

Kezzie

[PurrSuede 0]

You cant stop her using her married name.... it became hers to use the day you married her and its her choice to continue using it or not.....

Kezzie

I'm sorry, but I believe you are wrong, as the divorce decree FORMALLY and legally RESTORED her name to her maiden name.. therefore it is no longer her "choice" to keep using mine, as this is a binding item of the final decree, as are all the other items of the final decree...

-- Dan

I disagree on the affidavit. Right now the insurance statement you have is simply inanimate evidence. An affidavit is testimony of a potential witness, should the need arise.

I see the difference you are referring to... thank you. I doubt that the agent would sign an affadavit , but...

I talked some things over with a friend of mine, and I probably will make an INFOPass appointment to review this entire matter in the offices of the USCIS next week...

Thank you for your thoughts and viewpoints, Diaddie and thanks to everyone else as well...

-- Dan

[tomica52 0]

You cant stop her using her married name.... it became hers to use the day you married her and its her choice to continue using it or not.....

Kezzie

I'm sorry, but I believe you are wrong, as the divorce decree FORMALLY and legally RESTORED her name to her maiden name.. therefore it is no longer her "choice" to keep using mine, as this is a binding item of the final decree, as are all the other items of the final decree...

-- Dan

That is not true, I agree with Kezzie. She has to right to keep her married name even after divorce.

[PurrSuede 0]

You cant stop her using her married name.... it became hers to use the day you married her and its her choice to continue using it or not.....

Kezzie

I'm sorry, but I believe you are wrong, as the divorce decree FORMALLY and legally RESTORED her name to her maiden name.. therefore it is no longer her "choice" to keep using mine, as this is a binding item of the final decree, as are all the other items of the final decree...

-- Dan

That is not true, I agree with Kezzie. She has to right to keep her married name even after divorce.

Laws regarding name changes vary from state to state.

I checked with my lawyer. She told me that if my ex- wished to continue to use her married name, then she should NOT have requested her name be restored. It was by her request that her name was restored. As of the "restoration" of her maiden-name via the divorce decree, that now becomes her LEGAL name and all LEGAL documents (such as the signing of an auto loan or car insurance) should always be executed in the valid LEGAL name in effect at the time of the execution of the document.

Unless either of you are practicing attorney specializing in Family Law and/or Name Changes in the state of New Mexico, I'm going to go with my attorney's advice in the matter, and continue to insist that she stop using MY name for legally executed documents, as this is NO LONGER her legal name as of her signing the divorce decree.

-- Dan

[PurrSuede 0]

You cant stop her using her married name.... it became hers to use the day you married her and its her choice to continue using it or not.....

Kezzie

I'm sorry, but I believe you are wrong, as the divorce decree FORMALLY and legally RESTORED her name to her maiden name.. therefore it is no longer her "choice" to keep using mine, as this is a binding item of the final decree, as are all the other items of the final decree...

-- Dan

That is not true, I agree with Kezzie. She has to right to keep her married name even after divorce.

Laws regarding name changes vary from state to state.

I checked with my lawyer. She told me that if my ex- wished to continue to use her married name, then she should NOT have requested her name be restored. It was by her request that her name was restored. As of the "restoration" of her maiden-name via the divorce decree, that now becomes her LEGAL name and all LEGAL documents (such as the signing of an auto loan or car insurance) should always be executed in the valid LEGAL name in effect at the time of the execution of the document.

Unless either of you are practicing attorney specializing in Family Law and/or Name Changes in the state of New Mexico, I'm going to go with my attorney's advice in the matter, and continue to insist that she stop using MY name for legally executed documents, as this is NO LONGER her legal name as of her signing the divorce decree.

-- Dan

And by the way....

Her legal married name (changed at marriage) was "hyphenated" R....-S..... and my last name is S..... and she NEVER had used her "married name" only as S...... previously before, either.

She can go sign her legal contracts ISH KABIBBLE for all I give a care about, I definitely have the right to insist that she does NOT use my address.

And yes, I have every right to inform the Car Insurance company that she is NOT applying for car insurance in her PROPER LEGAL name... which is NOT her married name.

And her married name was NEVER only my last name, anyway... FYI

sheesh....

She tries to hijack one of my bank accounts, insures her car at my house where she no longer lives and you two are quibbling over the use of a last name she NEVER previously used to begin with...

you guys ever hear of identity theft or erroneous entries on credit reports???

-- Dan

[JenT 0]

Dan,

I had the same thought about your ex's use of her name, but Kezzie wrote it before I did, so I didn't post then. You have explained the legalities behind the name change (not sure why tomica continued to challenge it, but oh well) and it all makes perfect sense. No one else should challenge that.

May I respectfully suggest that you follow your own timeline?

"07.26.2006 Life begins again, but now... apart..."

Your tone of anger and resentment is very clear through all of your posts on this matter. The only way that you are going to be able to move on is to give all of that up, draw your boundaries, and get on with your life. Ignore her little intrusions. You are only delaying your own healing from all of this.

Been there, done that, so I know about which I speak. Easier said than done, I know. Rise above it and move on.

Jen

[Kez/JWolf 6]

I agree..... move on before you end up being a bitter person who takes all your frustration out on other.... the signs are already there.... Let it go..

Kezzie

[PurrSuede 0]

I agree..... move on before you end up being a bitter person who takes all your frustration out on other.... the signs are already there.... Let it go..

Kezzie

May I remind you of my words in my original posting, which you said you had read??

Now I'm interested in knowing if anyone HAS reported an immigrant spouse who is waltzing out of the marriage prior to permanent AOS for fraudulent intent... and if so, what kind of information did you provide, what was the USCIS response, etc. etc.

The bottom line, is ultimately did it matter in ANY way, or did it just keep you focused on all the bad cr*p instead of the good things in your life that remained ahead of you...

Up to now, I've been, "ok, live and let live", but with this information and some other information that has slowly but surely come into my possession, I'm more and more convinced her intent was fraudulent almost from the very beginning... and this wasn't just a simple case of "good marriage gone bad"...

And Kezzine, you were the one who felt it was necessary for me IMMEDIATELY to jump over to the USCIS via phone or email and report anything possibly (even possibly "suspected fraudulent intentions") as askew??

That being said, I have an INFOPass appointment with the USCIS next week, at their office across the street from where I work...

I asked if it was better to just "let it go..." and you righteously implied it MUST be reported at once.

However, for me, now, to dig out all the evidence of a sh*tty marriage of two years, document paperwork, have it ready to present to the USCIS, excuse me, I do have to go back and revisit all the b.s. that went down.

To top it off, it's not YOUR bank account or financial assets that are attempted to be hijacked here, perhaps out of her own stupidity, perhaps out of her own malicious intent.

Again, INTENT can not be proven, only suspected.

And I remind you, yes I'm angry, to have a car insured under a name that is not YOURS (legally, anymore) and an address that is not YOURS (legally, anymore) all it would take would be for her to say, hit a city lightpole or fire hydrant, provide that faulty information, then skip out... meanwhile the city could decide to put a lien on MY property based on the damage that occurred.

Sure, sure, just let it go... I was QUITE happy to just let it go, until I witnessed MORE repeated acts of "possible intended" fraud that not only violate the Divorce Decree but the Domestic Order that goes along with it.

I did draw up my boundaries, I did get on with my life, and she proceeded to encroach upon those, perhaps out of mistaken knowlege of how America works, perhaps maliciously.

Next week I go to the USCIS and ask them what evidence they would like from me.

C'est la vie.

-- Dan

[diadromous mermaid 36]

Dan,

I had the same thought about your ex's use of her name, but Kezzie wrote it before I did, so I didn't post then. You have explained the legalities behind the name change (not sure why tomica continued to challenge it, but oh well) and it all makes perfect sense. No one else should challenge that.

May I respectfully suggest that you follow your own timeline?

"07.26.2006 Life begins again, but now... apart..."

Your tone of anger and resentment is very clear through all of your posts on this matter. The only way that you are going to be able to move on is to give all of that up, draw your boundaries, and get on with your life. Ignore her little intrusions. You are only delaying your own healing from all of this.

Been there, done that, so I know about which I speak. Easier said than done, I know. Rise above it and move on.

Jen

I've been sitting on the sidelines, for the most part, and simply viewing most of the conversation. I think many points made are wise, and offered from each member's own point of reference. But inherent in that is a very legitimate limitation ~ a suggestion from another's point of reference and unless another has walked in the OP's shoes, then he or she cannot comprehend the myriad of emotions and the deep impact that goes along with this sort of betrayal. I'm not speaking of a marriage unravelling, as there may be many members on this board that have had to accept a relationship terminating. That's difficult enough, I'll admit. But if what the OP suspects is at hand, then this is an entirely different matter and the process of recovery cannot be measured or analysed by using a barometer appropriate for a completely different type of situation. This could quite possibly be a marriage that never existed in the first place! How can anyone really know all that the OP may be going through, or the steps he has and is taking to permit the healing to occur?

And so, one recommendation I'd make to others inclined to post on this thread in a situation, such as this, is to refrain from using the terminology "let it go, move on and get on with your life". I'd ask each one of you if you are aware of the natural stages of healing and have you experienced a violation of the most base variety?

[john_and_marlene 162]

Why is the bank account still open? I would either cancel it or remove my name from it and open a new individual account.

[meauxna 15]

I did draw up my boundaries, I did get on with my life, and she proceeded to encroach upon those, perhaps out of mistaken knowlege of how America works, perhaps maliciously.

Hey Devious Dan

Just a vote of support from me re: being bitter and all that. I'll stand up for the fact that you *have* been very cool about all this, and it wasn't until your crappy day (and what a day!) yesterday that ickyness bubbled out. I empathize, and I hope it passes soon, and you have no further games & hassles.

[PurrSuede 0]

Why is the bank account still open? I would either cancel it or remove my name from it and open a new individual account.

I removed 99.9999% of all funds from this and closed it. It was originally mine and she had been added on later at the time we were married. I have opened new individual account(s) in other financial institutions that I am using quite regularly.

From my previous thread, one of the supposed "bona fides" she had asked for (proof of documentation for removal of conditions/Permanent AOS) was our joint bank statements, which I had provided her as part of the divorce proceedings. Is that from WHERE she got this account number? I can't answer that...

I did provide her with only the FRONT page of the statement, showing beginning and ending balances, and NOT the account details, showing exact amounts of who was paid, account numbers of Electronic Fund Transfers, etc. etc.

I remind you she is being well-coached by ~someone~ in the kinds of things to get for "proof of legitimate marriage" and I assure you, it is NOT from me...

Think about it, why would she "highjack" the mailing address from our "joint bank" statements to be sent to her NEW address (where she is actually not even LIVING, just using as a mailing address)... when she still need to undergo filing for "removal of conditions/Permanent status AOS".

Why would she want the "end of the year" statement, or the "closing financial" statement to be sent to HER new mailing address?? That would include the "interest statements" from that account that I would need to file my taxes. Hmmmmmmm??

Again the divorce decree decreed legally any proceeds from this account to me, solely, as well as made me liable for any tax ramifications (interest) from it. That account specifically is spelled out as MINE as of the divorce decree. Again, for her to attempt to modify it is a violation of the court order.

And even considering it is closed, all someone might need to perpetuate identity theft is an account number even if the account is closed, it can be a springboard to other nefarious purposes. Not to mention just the financial documents to "prove" a bona-fide relationship. Not to mention the possibility just to mess with someone.

Again I don't know her intent, I don't know if it's her own stupidity, maliciousness or an even deeper more malignant plot through her own or someone else's influence... as I said, she has been well-coached in the "escape clauses", such as a fruitless attempt at a Domestic Violence charge against me (which DID not occur, though the police WERE called by her for a rather contrived "Domestic Disturbance" scenario...)

Additionally, the bank told me regardless of the account being closed, they fully appreciated being notified of the attempt to change the mailing address for statements and financial information on the account.

I can think of 100's of ways to use someone's "bank statements" in a dastardly manner, even if the account is closed and there is no longer money in it. You still might be able to secure access to all the previous statements including ACCOUNT details, such as cancelled checks, etc. etc. to be sent directly to you.

You might also realize that such things as the MAILING address of your accounts, even if closed are also destined to become a permanent part of your credit history.

Have you ever tried to correct any inaccuracies in your credit history, even on a closed account, by any chance???

There's a lot more going on here perhaps than JUST "changing the mailing address" John_and_Marlene...

The attempt to change the mailing address on the bank account occured almost on the same day as trying to secure car insurance using MY name and MY address... and I'll also add insurance companies also use credit reports, and credit histories as well...

Again, it begs the question, how could somone attempt to change a bank account that is MINE to her supposed address, while at the very same time insuring a car that is HERS using MY name and MY address??

Some things just don't add up as "innocent mistakes"

-- Dan

[JenT 0]

Dan,

I had the same thought about your ex's use of her name, but Kezzie wrote it before I did, so I didn't post then. You have explained the legalities behind the name change (not sure why tomica continued to challenge it, but oh well) and it all makes perfect sense. No one else should challenge that.

May I respectfully suggest that you follow your own timeline?

"07.26.2006 Life begins again, but now... apart..."

Your tone of anger and resentment is very clear through all of your posts on this matter. The only way that you are going to be able to move on is to give all of that up, draw your boundaries, and get on with your life. Ignore her little intrusions. You are only delaying your own healing from all of this.

Been there, done that, so I know about which I speak. Easier said than done, I know. Rise above it and move on.

Jen

I've been sitting on the sidelines, for the most part, and simply viewing most of the conversation. I think many points made are wise, and offered from each member's own point of reference. But inherent in that is a very legitimate limitation ~ a suggestion from another's point of reference and unless another has walked in the OP's shoes, then he or she cannot comprehend the myriad of emotions and the deep impact that goes along with this sort of betrayal. I'm not speaking of a marriage unravelling, as there may be many members on this board that have had to accept a relationship terminating. That's difficult enough, I'll admit. But if what the OP suspects is at hand, then this is an entirely different matter and the process of recovery cannot be measured or analysed by using a barometer appropriate for a completely different type of situation. This could quite possibly be a marriage that never existed in the first place! How can anyone really know all that the OP may be going through, or the steps he has and is taking to permit the healing to occur?

And so, one recommendation I'd make to others inclined to post on this thread in a situation, such as this, is to refrain from using the terminology "let it go, move on and get on with your life". I'd ask each one of you if you are aware of the natural stages of healing and have you experienced a violation of the most base variety?

Which is why I said, "Easier said than done." I have experienced the pain of divorce, the anguish and helplessness of betrayal, and the steps required to recover from all of that and move on with my life. Has that involved the immigration process? No. But betrayal is betrayal. Who is to say that the betrayal felt after 15 years of marriage and 2 children is any different than the feelings of betrayal that result from the questioning of marital intent/immigration? Anger, hurt, resentment, etc... all applies. Yes, everyone's experiences and capabilities in that regard are different, but unless one makes the conscious decision to deal with the emotion and aftermath, decide on boundaries, and get on with life in a constructive way, there will be no healing.

Dan thought he was on his way toward that, and got sidetracked by the (un)expected behaviour of his ex. My point is to not allow the sidetracking to cause a derailment in the healing process.

Jen

Edited September 15, 2006 by JenT