Visa Fraud Question...

[Ontarkie 14,221]

I'm sorry you are going through this, its not easy.

Edited July 22, 2011 by Ontarkie

[worriedwoman 0]

I know I've been incredibly vague on the whole situation. Truthfully it was more so from me wanting to avoid getting lectured than anything . Because I know this is my fault. I married him even though I had my own doubts. I did it for my daughter thinking that if I could just try hard enough to overcome my own issues, she could grow up with a father. It was a mistake, I realize that. We are completely incompatible and even before marriage we fought constantly. I thought if I gave it some time it would improve but it's only gotten worse. Neither of us were happy and he told me he was unhappy but it was his duty to stay married because we made the commitment and that meant we had to stay together for our child's sake even if we were both miserable. I didn't agree with that and that's where the problems came in. He refused to spend any money on any sort of counseling and didn't think a stranger could help us any better than we could help ourselves and that we needed to just be patient. At that point I just said we obviously haven't been able to help ourselves and that I'd been patient for six months and things were only getting worse and not better. Like Math Man said, I DO feel sorry for him because he did give up a lot to be out here. That's the bulk of my guilt right there, that I did all this on a pipe dream, and thus why I initially agreed to putting on a charade for two years. At this point he's actually EXCITED to be moving in with his friend and going to the 'big city'. Which is making me feel even more guilty knowing what I'm planning to do when he gets down there. This entire thing has made me feel like the worst person on the face of the earth and honestly, he's not holding back any attempts to reassure me that's true.

As for our daughter. She's 100% American citizen and not even recognized by his country as his own daughter (let alone a citizen), since she was born out of wedlock. So I don't have any concerns about him trying to take her.

[rrobin 2]

Don't ignore "I will kill myself" rant because he may soon switch to "I will kill you" if he feels you are not complying. He sounds way too desperate. First protect yourself and run as fast as you can.

[Ebere 0]

is it that you found someone else and don't love him anymore or is it that he cheated on you?

[mike411 15]

Don't tell him if you are going to withdrawal your I-864! Do it then tell him what you did!

It is sad to go through so much and now have to end it. He maybe expecting much more than what your situation offers. Many foreigners expect all U.S. cities like Los Angeles and being able to get a job with decent pay quickly.

[T & J MC 0]

I don't know what to do. I brought my husband over on a k-1 visa and we got married and...well I won't go into details but things got crappy fast. I want to separate and he doesn't. I finally put down my foot and said I couldn't put up with this anymore and I wanted him out. The problem is...we haven't even gotten his temporary greencard yet. He's told me he can NOT go back to his home country because of the shame of such a short marriage and that if he can't stay in the US because we divorce he has no other choice but to kill himself. I honestly think he is serious about this and I agreed to put off a divorce until he got his permanent resident card after the 2 year one is up. But now I'm starting to get worried. We haven't even had our conditional green card interview yet and I'm really starting to get scared we might get caught and I'll get in trouble for committing Visa fraud. To top it off, he's moving half way across the country in a few days and I know that's going to be nearly impossible to explain without raising some eyebrows. I read that's like a felony and could land me 10 years in jail... but I'm at a loss as to what to do. He refuses to got back to his home country saying it's not even an option and I seriously believe he's going to kill himself if I refuse to continue the visa process. I don't want to do this but I don't see any other choice. Worse case scenario, we do get caught...would I really face 10 years in jail? I know this is wrong, I don't want to do it. But I don't want him killing himself and having that on my head for my entire life.

[A & L 2]

I agree with most people in here, this man definitely sounds like he is taking advantage of you to get a greencard and is using desperate threats when he realizes that his scam is going to fall out underneath him, especially since, if I'm understanding you correctly, his threats aren't even over losing the marriage, just losing his ability to stay in the US. You should definitely withdraw your applications and be as open and honest with the government as possible during this.

[Max1gk 68]

I seriously believe he's going to kill himself if I refuse to continue the visa process

Let him do it. It will fix what mother nature failed to do..to wipe him out from the natural selection,and that's a commonsense fact. Having said that,I'm sorry about your situation. Never let anyone one controlling you..ever.

[leeandcorinne 1]

I don't know what to do. I brought my husband over on a k-1 visa and we got married and...well I won't go into details but things got crappy fast. I want to separate and he doesn't. I finally put down my foot and said I couldn't put up with this anymore and I wanted him out. The problem is...we haven't even gotten his temporary greencard yet. He's told me he can NOT go back to his home country because of the shame of such a short marriage and that if he can't stay in the US because we divorce he has no other choice but to kill himself. I honestly think he is serious about this and I agreed to put off a divorce until he got his permanent resident card after the 2 year one is up. But now I'm starting to get worried. We haven't even had our conditional green card interview yet and I'm really starting to get scared we might get caught and I'll get in trouble for committing Visa fraud. To top it off, he's moving half way across the country in a few days and I know that's going to be nearly impossible to explain without raising some eyebrows. I read that's like a felony and could land me 10 years in jail... but I'm at a loss as to what to do. He refuses to got back to his home country saying it's not even an option and I seriously believe he's going to kill himself if I refuse to continue the visa process. I don't want to do this but I don't see any other choice. Worse case scenario, we do get caught...would I really face 10 years in jail? I know this is wrong, I don't want to do it. But I don't want him killing himself and having that on my head for my entire life.

What country is he from?

[Gosia & Tito 199]

I don't know what to do. I brought my husband over on a k-1 visa and we got married and...well I won't go into details but things got crappy fast. I want to separate and he doesn't. I finally put down my foot and said I couldn't put up with this anymore and I wanted him out. The problem is...we haven't even gotten his temporary greencard yet. He's told me he can NOT go back to his home country because of the shame of such a short marriage and that if he can't stay in the US because we divorce he has no other choice but to kill himself. I honestly think he is serious about this and I agreed to put off a divorce until he got his permanent resident card after the 2 year one is up. But now I'm starting to get worried. We haven't even had our conditional green card interview yet and I'm really starting to get scared we might get caught and I'll get in trouble for committing Visa fraud. To top it off, he's moving half way across the country in a few days and I know that's going to be nearly impossible to explain without raising some eyebrows. I read that's like a felony and could land me 10 years in jail... but I'm at a loss as to what to do. He refuses to got back to his home country saying it's not even an option and I seriously believe he's going to kill himself if I refuse to continue the visa process. I don't want to do this but I don't see any other choice. Worse case scenario, we do get caught...would I really face 10 years in jail? I know this is wrong, I don't want to do it. But I don't want him killing himself and having that on my head for my entire life.

Besides all the advice already posted, I would advice to get a restraining order as soon as he clears your place. Agree to continue GC, let him get out of your life and then do the restraining order and withdraw your petition for GC. Change your number, etc.

Also, many states are no-fault, if you are in one of those, he does not have to agree to anything you can separate and divorce just because. In most states, you can get a divorce kit for a couple of hundred. Also, make sure you take care of assets and such, some states are common property but usually with assets from the time of marriage.

If he wants to kill himself, let him...He won't. He's just like a child trying to manipulate you. You have no responsibility for anything he does or does not. Killing himself is his choice, and as others also pointed, he will not; he just wants to manipulate you through guilt.

If he can't go back to his country out of shame, not your problem. Why is it shameful to go back to country but not shameful to leave you, get himself across country, effectively ending marriage??

Visa fraud is a serious matter, don't let his manipulation turn you into a felon.

Take care and good luck. Hope things get better.

[Gosia & Tito 199]

I know I've been incredibly vague on the whole situation. Truthfully it was more so from me wanting to avoid getting lectured than anything . Because I know this is my fault. I married him even though I had my own doubts. I did it for my daughter thinking that if I could just try hard enough to overcome my own issues, she could grow up with a father. It was a mistake, I realize that. We are completely incompatible and even before marriage we fought constantly. I thought if I gave it some time it would improve but it's only gotten worse. Neither of us were happy and he told me he was unhappy but it was his duty to stay married because we made the commitment and that meant we had to stay together for our child's sake even if we were both miserable. I didn't agree with that and that's where the problems came in. He refused to spend any money on any sort of counseling and didn't think a stranger could help us any better than we could help ourselves and that we needed to just be patient. At that point I just said we obviously haven't been able to help ourselves and that I'd been patient for six months and things were only getting worse and not better. Like Math Man said, I DO feel sorry for him because he did give up a lot to be out here. That's the bulk of my guilt right there, that I did all this on a pipe dream, and thus why I initially agreed to putting on a charade for two years. At this point he's actually EXCITED to be moving in with his friend and going to the 'big city'. Which is making me feel even more guilty knowing what I'm planning to do when he gets down there. This entire thing has made me feel like the worst person on the face of the earth and honestly, he's not holding back any attempts to reassure me that's true.

As for our daughter. She's 100% American citizen and not even recognized by his country as his own daughter (let alone a citizen), since she was born out of wedlock. So I don't have any concerns about him trying to take her.

We all can make mistakes. He might have left things behind and give up a lot, but it was still his decision/choice to come here; especially if you note that things were not as good even before marriage, he did know the risks and he took his chances. He might not want to admit that, not your problem. Every one of us have/had a fiance or fiancee that weighted on the risks of moving to the US. You didn't put a gun to his head.

How is he excited to leave when before he said that he must stay for the child's sake even if miserable?

You should not blame yourself let alone put up with him making you feel like a bad person. If anything, the blame/guilt/fault or mistake is shared.

No one wants to make a mistake, but mistakes happen. When they do, one owns them and look to correct them the best possible way; doing something illegal can only compound the mistake and make it worst.

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

I don't really want to comment on your husband's threads of suicide. Usually somebody who intends to meet his creator will not announce that publicly as that could totally spoil his plan. Such an announcement combined with an "if--then" statement is a form of manipulation, just as blackmail is.

What matters here is the legal aspect of your case, and that only in respect to you as the petitioner.

If you present your case to the US government as one that is one of a normal couple living together in harmony in order to gain immigration benefits, then that is a clear case of immigration fraud. You are correct, you can go up to 5 years to prison for this and there's also a potential fine of up to $250,000 floating over your head. Did I mention that it's a felony? I'm sure you can imagine how difficult it is for a convicted felon to find any form of employment in today's economy; hence you will surely come to the conclusion that it's not worth it.

Your case is clear as natural spring water. You got married and it didn't work out. It happens, and life goes on. Life for you, and life for your husband. You should not worry about his immigration status anymore, you should worry about what can happen to you. There are several steps to be taken, and AOS is only one of them. Also keep in mind that you have signed an Affidavit of Support for him that is potentially enforceable until the end of your natural life. If you split and he collects means tested benefits, you are the one at the giving end.

It's honorable that you want to help him, but you can't do that if it means committing a crime. That would be insane, utterly insane.

[worriedwoman 0]

At this point I've decided that I'm not risking my own future and that of my daughter's over this. Now I just need to get the courage to tell him about it. Although, I am concerned about two things. It was mentioned that the I-864 is enforceable pretty much forever?? I hadn't heard this before and thought it was only as long as he was in the country legally..If he decides to remain in the country illegally after all this is done with am I (and my joint sponsor) feasibly responsible for him financially should he acquire any sort of financial aid? And...seriously? A couple hundred dollars for a divorce? I guess I naively thought that it would be as simple as getting the marriage license... Can I cancel the AOS before divorce? Because I don't see myself being able to afford a divorce for...well months at the very least.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

At this point I've decided that I'm not risking my own future and that of my daughter's over this. Now I just need to get the courage to tell him about it. Although, I am concerned about two things. It was mentioned that the I-864 is enforceable pretty much forever?? I hadn't heard this before and thought it was only as long as he was in the country legally..If he decides to remain in the country illegally after all this is done with am I (and my joint sponsor) feasibly responsible for him financially should he acquire any sort of financial aid? And...seriously? A couple hundred dollars for a divorce? I guess I naively thought that it would be as simple as getting the marriage license... Can I cancel the AOS before divorce? Because I don't see myself being able to afford a divorce for...well months at the very least.

You can't withdraw the I-485 because you didn't file it - he did. However, you DID file the I-864 affidavit of support, and you can withdraw it anytime up until the green card is issued. Send a written notice to USCIS that you want to withdraw the I-864, and that you intend to divorce him.

[Gosia & Tito 199]

At this point I've decided that I'm not risking my own future and that of my daughter's over this. Now I just need to get the courage to tell him about it. Although, I am concerned about two things. It was mentioned that the I-864 is enforceable pretty much forever?? I hadn't heard this before and thought it was only as long as he was in the country legally..If he decides to remain in the country illegally after all this is done with am I (and my joint sponsor) feasibly responsible for him financially should he acquire any sort of financial aid? And...seriously? A couple hundred dollars for a divorce? I guess I naively thought that it would be as simple as getting the marriage license... Can I cancel the AOS before divorce? Because I don't see myself being able to afford a divorce for...well months at the very least.

How much the cost and how complicated it could be, wait periods, etc; it all depends on what state you are.

You could do all the filing yourself, but divorce is not as simple a matter as you would think. Think of it this way, here in VJ you find guides for K-1, etc; which are very helpful but some here never saw and did all the filing themselves. This $200.00 kit I mentioned is like the guides here, it shows you the steps the forms, etc. The specific state where I've seen that is in Colorado, several friends of mine have used it successfully; but also, their cases were relatively simple: no children, not much in assets, things were more or less amicable and they had a good agreement that is what they submitted as part of the divorce and the judge approve this agreement and granted divorce. Since you have a kid, there could be child support and visitation issues, which he could fight out of spite, and given what you have related, it is possible. Now, he would have to have a lawyer to help him fight this. If he's the one leaving the household, you probably have a better chance to prevail. I am not a lawyer, you should still consult one. Also in Colorado for example, there are family law attorneys that only do divorce cases, sequentially, they give you a 1-2 hour consultation, give you the kit and you are then ready to go on your own. They can always get you more consultation, but they then start charging. In other states I have not seen this.

A divorce is like the K-1, each case is different, sometimes a lot different, sometimes just slightly.

Another thing, there are always organizations that help woman that are in an abusive situation and I would say you are in one (even if there is no physical abuse, I believe there is emotional). Many of these organizations have legal help at nominal costs or free. I know for sure these exist in Colorado and Texas, as I live in these states and I do volunteer help that often relates to these organizations.

As for the 864 enforceability. There was a discussion here several months back and if I recall right, the binding of the 864 ends when the beneficiary becomes a citizen (assuming marriage continued). I do not know what happens if the beneficiary remains in the country, even illegally; maybe other members can reply to that. If the beneficiary is not in the country, he has rights too, however, for practical purposes, there would not be much he could do because legal representation when the client is in another country is pretty expensive.

ANd yes, you can (and should in my opinion) cancel the AOS before divorce, in any case, I'd also suggest to file a legal separation document with the court/county where you are; that way, you separate financially and this is very important in your case; you do no want to be responsible/liable for any debts he could get into.

I strongly suggest looking into legal aid in the city/state you are, as I said, there are organization that do that, even for free, and even if you cannot prove abuse, you could at least provide proof of financial issues and they will take you.

Take care and be strong