Things that you dont tell your wife/husband when she arrives

[pedroh 21]

I just came to say hi and give you the keys to the house. I have go to europe for a month

LMAO

although actually a lot of people do that.. after the 1st month in the USA and their whining of no 'insert-country-here' they need to go back for a week or so to their homecountry LAWL

WTFPWNED

[Leafgal 3]

What did you say your name was again

[daveandlirio 0]

Fiancee arrives at airport, but can't find her lifemate anywhere. Then, she notices a large-busted blonde holding a sign with her name on it, so she approaches her only to hear:

"Hi, I'm Pris, the bi-curious girlfriend. I couldn't wait for you to get here, so I came to pick you up and sent him out to get some hot oil, peanut butter and a spatula for tonight!"

[daveandlirio 0]

Okay, I couldn't resist...here are a couple more:

"Did you stuff a super size fanny-pack in your pants or is that all a$$?"

or

"Here's a breakdown of the expenses for getting you here; do you have the cash on you now or should we hit an ATM?"

or

"Baby, you know I like to cut to the chase, so meet Father Patterson, he's going to do our ceremony. And this is Bruce, my attorney, he'll be handling the divorce!"

Ouch...those are bad...I feel bad for even being able to think them up!

[Marc and Olga 0]

"Baby, you know I like to cut to the chase, so meet Father Patterson, he's going to do our ceremony. And this is Bruce, my attorney, he'll be handling the divorce!"

[panicked 0]

WOW, I am really glad your here now! Come to the Police station and bail me out of jail. hun! Be sure to use the ACME bail agency. They don't have bounty hunters!

[JaJo 1]

After a 20 hour flight:

I'm glad you arrived in time! We still have half an hour until our plane leaves for Japan.

[panicked 0]

Great your here, time to start cleaning!

I need you to walk to the store to get some food and things because I am under House arrest and the police confiscated my car.

Or

Your early, I should get out of jail in around 2 to 6 weeks.

I hope you have some money? The judge told me not to write anymore checks.

[panicked 0]

Ooohhhh shoot. Wrong one. I thought you were the other girl.

[silvanski 1]

"Meet my room mates Bubba and Billy Bud."

[almaty 19]

come on baby,..i want to take a drive up hersey highway./...

[littlepoem 0]

Honey, I am so thankful for the fact that you love me for who I am and not what I look like, the pictures I sent you were of a pretty lady I used to work with before I got fired for B.O. How important is real hair and teeth anyway?? Anyhow, I never should have lied through my tooth. And by the way, lets make the car ride home fast because I can't wait to make love to you. After that I will have to have a shower because it has been a month since my last one and I have a very exciting interview this afternoon at McDonalds and I don't want the B.O. issue coming up!

[Ban Hammer 13,342]

Honey, I am so thankful for the fact that you love me for who I am and not what I look like, the pictures I sent you were of a pretty lady I used to work with before I got fired for B.O. How important is real hair and teeth anyway?? Anyhow, I never should have lied through my tooth. And by the way, lets make the car ride home fast because I can't wait to make love to you. After that I will have to have a shower because it has been a month since my last one and I have a very exciting interview this afternoon at McDonalds and I don't want the B.O. issue coming up!

[littlepoem 0]

Glad I made ya laugh Charles......Have an amazing, wonderful, incredible, love and laughter filled wedding day on the 25th!! Congrats!!!

[Ban Hammer 13,342]

Glad I made ya laugh Charles......Have an amazing, wonderful, incredible, love and laughter filled wedding day on the 25th!! Congrats!!!

ty ty.