Things that you dont tell your wife/husband when she arrives

[Cristy 4]

I can't top any of these but this is too funny.

[JoelAndAnalyn 0]

i'm off to work now and i'm really a porn movie director

or I'm a porn movie director, take off your clothes and come on into the filming room...

" isn't it strange how the webcam makes you look so much younger"

Or WOW! I thought the camera ADDS 10 pounds...

[Isabel 0]

I actually really said that one :

" Wow you look much better than I remember....."

Well I always imagine the worst case scenario. He just laughed but still, never say that.

[kisschick1976 0]

"Sir can you please get out of my way, I am waiting for my fiance/spouse"

"Who are you?"

or here's a blast from the VJ past...

"Want to go to Disneyland?"

[Widge 0]

"Sorry I'm late there was something good on TV"

"Oh you made it .............. I was kinda hoping you'd get cold feet"

[JenT 0]

"You really should have brushed your teeth after that long flight."

[ftr_mrs_f 0]

damn, u actually came... now what?

[Marc and Olga 0]

Along a similar theme to some of the posts:

you look...um.... different

Which was how I described the Red Caviar I was given at the airport when I arrived.

Not a GOOD different either!

Edited September 15, 2006 by Marc and Olga

[gugu24 0]

lol this is a funny thread!

"wow the webcam made you look thinner"

" so how soon can u get a job?"

" I bet that flight felt like it took forever huh? so what's for dinner?"

" didn't have time to make dinner, you like cheerios?"

[RonMay 1]

i already made the couch for you. and your closet is at the garage... feel at home

[gugu24 0]

"I can't wait to take you shopping! first stop...Salvation Army"

" Hope you're hungry..thought we'd eat in at McDonald's, they painted it a new romantic color"

" you hungry? you like Burger King? they have a special..2 burger, 2 fries, 2 bucks!"

[gugu24 0]

"aah good you made it, sorry i couldnt come, i was still setting up your cot"

" try not let the fleas bother you too much, the exterminter will be here next week"

" Hey good news! you dont have to buy a wedding dress, my grandmother is offereing her's, you like offwhite?"

[heathius 0]

"Hope you got some sleep on the plane. We have to get up at 4am to milk the cows and plow the fields."

"Sorry, I didn't have time to clean the house. But, it's still 1000 times cleaner than that place you come from, so make yourself at home!"

"I hired some poor guy with a rickshaw to take us home from the airport so that the culture shock won't be too extreme."

"I see tattered rags haven't gone out of style since we last met."

[Marc and Olga 0]

Welcome to America, here's the street you will work on and for ##### sake take those clothes off, how do you expect to earn money to pay me?!

Welcome to america how was you 10+ hour flight? Good, tonight we are <proceed to list about 30 hours worth of activities>.

[Piratess&Swede 0]

*bum holding cardboard sign* "Hi, honey! You were late, so I gave your bus fare to this guy!"